When I visited Ben at his house on Halloween, I discovered one of the reasons behind his lack of excitement for the holiday:
His mom.
She's apparently one of those moms who gives out pretzels and raisins and stuff like that.
I offered to take over for her this year and spare the house of potentially disgruntled trick-or-treaters, but she declined.
"Don't take it personally," Ben's father told me.
"Think about it this way. She gives out health food, she cleans up the eggs and toilet paper afterwards."
He chuckled briefly, then he walked into the kitchen, and I sat on the living room sofa next to Ben.
We both wore somber expressions like the masks of the trick-or-treaters outside.
I wore mine because I was still getting over the museum incident.
Even though I was starting to feel a little better, it was still damn near impossible to get as excited about Halloween as I was earlier this month.
Ben's expression, however, had some guilt added to it, possibly because Ester was giving him the cold shoulder out of disappointment over their attempted date.
"You alright?" I asked.
"Eh," he shrugged.
"Gee, and I thought you had girl trouble before."
Ben turned and glared at me silently, clearly unamused by my little game of "Stop Hitting Yourself."
Why are you mocking me like this?, his new mask appeared to say.
A small part of me was starting to feel sorry for him, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.
Ben's one of those people who, no matter how much of a jerk he might be, you can't help but pity.
Having said that, I probably should've thought as hard about getting serious with Ben as I currently do about the names of football teams.
He's a nice guy and all, but considering, among many others, Ester, Looma, his ex-girlfriend, Gwen's clone and that nanochip girl, I can't help but think we reconnected at the worst possible time.
"Let's be honest," I added.
"You don't have girl trouble until you meet that one girl who everyone thinks you're dating, no matter how much you deny it."
Ben nodded, "True."
He then asked, "What do you think I should do about Ester?"
"Do you really wanna ask me, Mr. 'Leap First, Look Second'?"
"Right, sorry."
"I don't care what you end up doing, but keep in mind, you're not Daniel Craig and we're not Bond girls."
Ben's mask changed once again to a smirk, like the smirk he usually wears when he's joking around.
"Maybe so," he remarked, "but have you seen 'Cowboys and Aliens'? He clearly wants my -"
Just then, someone outside threw an egg at the living room window.
Mr. Tennyson rushed over to see what happened.
"Oh," he sighed before turning back around. "At least the window didn't break."
When he left the room, I told Ben, "Alright, how about this? Think of trick-or-treaters as girls you're trying to score. If you're not willing to offer them your absolute best . . ."
I gestured towards the window.
"Gotcha," he said. "They'll throw eggs at me."
I shook my head with a grin, picturing Ben with literal egg on his face.
It would totally suit him.
