One thing before we start, folks. I love hearing all of your wonderful ideas for the story, but if it's at all possible, Private Message them to me instead of leaving them in the reviews. That'll prevent any spoilers from leaking out. (Unless you're a visitor, then you won't be able to... eh, visitors can put their ideas in the reviews if they really want to.)

And send me AS MANY AS YOU LIKE! So far the ones I've gotten are hilarious!

On with the story! I promise that this one won't be as short as the last!

WARNING: Later in this chapter you learn things that you'll probably wish that you wouldn't have. Snooping around in the minds of Smashers can be a disturbing business.

Now ignore this warning and read it anyway.

It didn't matter that the teens had sprinted; Sonic beat every one of them to the pool by simply doing a light jog.

Nearly every other Smasher was already there. Nana must've got the word out quick. Among the mass of people there you could see Ness and Lucas trying to invent PK Water (splashing each other), Bowser tucked into his shell and drifting in the deep end like some king of grotesque pool toy, Mario and Luigi seeing if they could get fireballs to work underwater, a group of blue Pikmin commandeering Snake's box for a pirate ship, Snake persistently trying to capsize them, Kirby and Jigglypuff whispering things to each other, Falco complaining to Fox how his blaster shorted out, and Lucario simply chilling in a lounge chair while Squirtle tugged impatiently on the jackal's feet.

The first thing Link decided to do was start a cannonball contest. Pushing between Pit and Marth, the blonde flung himself out over the water in a curled position. He landed just shy of Yoshi, soaking the poor dinosaur.

He surfaced on his back, arms crossed behind his head, a cheesy smirk curling his lips.

Marth folded his arms and frowned.

"That's it?"

Link's grin cemented into a scowl.

"Oh, you think you could do better, Miss Priss?"

Marth simply backed up, and with a running start, easily made a wake that dwarfed Link's.

He surfaced and shook the water out of his long, blue hair.

"Yeah."

He looked to Pit expectantly.

"Well?"

The angel raised his hands defensively.

"Oh, no. My wings don't work so well when they get wet. I'm perfectly content with taking the pool stairs."

Link groaned.

"C'mon, Pit, don't be such a girl."

"No, no, I'm good."

He turned to walk away, only to meet Ike mere inches from his face. With one swift motion and a huge laugh, the mercenary had lifted Pit up off the ground, over his head. Marth and Link cheered.

"AH! IKE! NO! PUT ME DOWN!"

Disregarding the angel's pleas, the massive swordsman hurled Pit out over the water, waiting eagerly for a huge splash.

What he had forgotten, however, was the angel's key to survival.

With simply a few soft flutters of his wings, Pit was airborne, looking haughtily down on the hapless fools who failed to remember that he could fly. He hovered in the air a good ten feet above the water, laughing at the three angered expressions below.

"That's not fair!" Link shouted.

Marth smiled as a plan formed in his head.

He raised his arms sarcastically.

"Just let him be. It's not like those scrawny chicken bones could make a splash anyway." He looked to Ike with a devious grin, and he instantly caught on.

The mercenary shrugged.

"Yeah, I mean, there's no way he could beat… THIS!"

Leaping off the cement, Ike created a wave so powerful that it knocked water out of the pool, soaked everyone in it, and came close to drenching Pit's perch in the sky. He fluttered a few feet higher, astonished by the shockwave.

The mercenary surfaced to angry, water-logged faces.

Link looked to the brunette.

"Seriously, Pit, can you even make a splash?"

Pit was starting to grow angry. He knew that was exactly what they wanted, but he couldn't help it. Between Link's jaunty expressions and Marth's dreadfully sarcastic tone, he was starting to lose it.

The prince began to swim away.

"Oh well. He's not coming down. Come on guys, we'll-"

"NOW HOLD UP JUST A DAMN SECOND."

All three turned to the angel with excitement in their eyes. Or maybe that was shock. Nobody had ever heard him swear before. Rippling the water with powerful beats of his wings, the infuriated angel rose higher and higher into the sky. He nearly went out of view, now nothing more than a winged speck in the sky. Surprising everyone, he dove straight down, arms tucked and streamlined beside his torso. His speed was blinding. Just before he made contact with the water, he swung his legs up to his chest, wrapping his limbs around them as his wings trailed behind.

BWOOSH!

Several of the smaller Smashers were flung from the pool as Pit entered; the massive wave resulting swamping people like a tsunami. Rain pattered on the cement for a few moments, drenching everyone who was lucky enough to escape Ike's cannonball. When he surfaced, the water level had decreased considerably, and Snake's box was now in a tree. The angel smiled at Link, who was coughing up H2O.

"Who can't do what now?"

Marth and Ike spluttered in unison.

"Ten!"

Lucario stood up and shook the water off. Figures he'd have the unfortunate luck of getting soaked when he simply wanted to relax. Lying back down again, he shut his eyes, allowing his mind to roam freely around the circulating thoughts emanating from every Smasher. Normally he would abstain from such privacy violation, but today had been particularly stressful, he could use a laugh or two. The first mind he made contact with was Zelda's….

Oh Nayru I hope getting wet doesn't make this swimsuit see-through because I haven't shaved in a while

Lucario's eyes shot open as he shut down the mental link immediately. Shivering, he struggled to close his irises again and look for a less unsettling mind to peer in to. He caught hold of Snake's…

I wonder what these Pikmin taste like? Maybe they come in different flavors for each color… does Olimar secretly eat them when he's alone? I should stake that out and see if I could join him

This time the jackal sat up. He looked at Snake with a horrified expression. The soldier merely glanced to him and waved, a blue Pikmin dangling on his thumb.

Perhaps the mind of a soldier wasn't the best choice for something comforting. Hurriedly he searched into Peach's mind, praying for a tea party or a cute memory or SOMETHING that wasn't utterly disgusting.

No such luck for the poor snoop.

No verbal thoughts were present, but instead an image was portrayed.

An image of her and Ike doing UNSPEAKABLE things.

Condemning her mind, he rushed into the thoughts of Lucas. Surely the innocence of a child would be of some comfort to him….

NOPE!

I wonder if this grappling snake-

Lucario closed the connection before the boy could even finish.

As a last resort, he linked up with the mind of Pit. An angel would never have unclean thoughts… right?

WRONG.

Again, no verbal thoughts could be found, only a short mental film.

A mental film of Samus tied to a bed and begging him to take her.

Screaming on the inside, the aura user's mind fled to Samus, who had shed her cover-up and was now unwinding in the Jacuzzi with Peach and Zelda. At least her thoughts would be violent, not containing a terrifying sex scene.

All he could find was the exact same fantasy Pit was having, only with the roles swapped.

He stood and ran. Ran as fast as his legs could take him. Probably ran faster than Sonic the Hedgehog himself. He ran until he was in the back corner of the Grand Hall, rocking himself back and forth in a fetal position as he shivered in fear. He closed his mind off completely, swearing never to unjustly peer into another's brain ever again.

However, just before he could, a single person's thoughts appeared in his detectable range. At first he thought about instantly dismissing it, pretending like it was never there. But slowly, ever so slowly, his curiosity prevailed over his horror, persuading him to dig into this new consciousness.

Surprisingly, the mind belonged to Wario. Unsurprisingly, the thoughts that Lucario found made him want to rethink his decision to exist.

Sonic kicked the water off his sneakers and stretched out in Lucario's abandoned pool chair. Flicking down his sunglasses, he took a bite out of a chilidog that he got at the snack bar and heaved a deep sigh.

Shadow should be here… he could use a chance to relax…

Suddenly his view became dark. Lifting up his shades, he could see the massive form of Crazy Hand hovering over him, blocking out the sun. He lowered his eyebrows.

"Um… can I help you?"

"Why aren't you in the pool?"

Sonic cocked his head.

"What?"

"Why aren't you in the pool?"

"…because…I don't want to?"

The hand came closer.

"WHY don't you want to?"

Sonic grew worried.

"I… can't swim… remember?"

Crazy Hand's huge fingers grabbed Sonic by the arm and flung him out over the water.

"SWIM BITCH!"

The hedgehog landed face first, making a loud SMACK that drew the attention of the surrounding Smashers. He surfaced seconds later, arms flailing and gasping for breath.

Crazy Hand pointed a finger at Pit.

"YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SANTATIZED ME!"

The angel began to stammer.

"W-w-wha-?!"

The glove curled into a fist and screamed.

"FALCON PUNCH!"

Lunging full force at the archer, the huge, white knuckles slammed into Pit's torso, sending him spiraling far out of the pool-

-and quite perfectly into Samus's lap.

Crazy Hand began to fly around the area like a maniac, "Falcon Punching" people and flinging water everywhere. The gathered Smashers spun into a frenzied chaos, each trying to dodge the massive extremity as they scrambled over top one another.

Pit slowly came to his senses, his eyes eventually focusing on Samus's blushing face above him. Bewildered he reached down to the ground to help prop himself up, but instead he accidentally placed his hand on the innermost parts of her bare thigh and pushed. HARD.

The resulting action hit Samus where it count, and she released a loud moan as Pit lifted himself up. Now EXTREMELY confused, Pit glanced downward, discovering just what exactly his hands were pushing against.

Blood rushed to his face so quickly it was a wonder that his head didn't explode.

Peach and Zelda realized as well; eyes and mouths widening beyond belief. Hurriedly Pit scrambled to apologize as his hands flew off her.

"I-I…"

Her voice was trembling.

"Boy… you just can't keep your hands off me today, can you?"

With his very life flashing before his eyes, Sonic flailed and thrashed in the water like an angry Gyarados. His eyes darted around the pool at near invisible speed, desperate to discover some way to help himself out of this fine mess. Angelic choruses sung and heavenly light shone down when he finally spotted a large, black inner tube drifting in his direction. Using the last of his strength, he spun his feet through the water, slowly, painstakingly making his way toward his only hope for survival. He threw a hand out to grab it…

…only to have a very cheeky Crazy Hand hop onto it.

If that glove had a face, he would have been trolling.

"U mad, Sonic?"

With all of his strength expended, it was all the hedgehog could do to slowly mutter a curse and allow himself to sink deeper into the watery abyss below…

…until Ike waded over and pulled Sonic out of the three feet of water he was drowning in.

Master Hand burst through the pool gates.

"BROTHER! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

All eyes (except for the ones of the people who were unconscious after being "Falcon Punched") turned to the glove.

It was really quite a hilarious sight seeing one hand drag another out of a pool. It looked somewhat similar to thumb wrestling.

"B-B-But…"

"…not today of all days… WHY DID I GET A REPORT SAYING THAT YOU WERE FLYING AROUND PUNCHING PEOPLE INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S LAPS?!"

Pit blushed and Samus whistled innocently.

"WHY IS LUCARIO CURLED UP IN THE GRAND HALL MUTTERING SOMETHING ABOUT 'FILTHY PERVERTS'?!"

Everyone raised an eyebrow at that.

"AND WHY IS ALL OF THE FOOD GONE?!"

Our original crew scratched the backs of their necks nervously.

"I swear, the things that happen around here…" Master Hand's voice trailed off as he dragged his brother away.

Said brother waved a finger goodbye.

"Thanks, folks! I'll be here all week!"

Several groaned at the fact that he would.

Lucario: So… many… perverts…

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR POKING YOUR NOSE WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG! Telepathy is a dangerous power, folks. Believe me, I know.

*the author suddenly runs over and hugs Link*

Link: Ahh! No! I'm not gay!

No you idiot! I'm sad cuz our adventure's over!

Zelda: …you finished Skyward Sword… didn't you?

*Makes Kuzco's face from The Emperor's New Groove* YYEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHES…

Oh well. *picks up SS case* OFF TO THE SHELF WITH YOU!

You know, originally I was going to call this chapter Snoop Dog Lucario, but I figured that it was only about half of the plot. So I instead chose to swear because I honestly did get my *ahem* poop, together. But seriously, I can't be the only one who thinks that people's thoughts get about 90% more perverted when they're at the pool. Maybe perverted enough to get this story up to an R rating…

And so the question remains… WHAT WAS LUCAS THINKING ABOUT?!

…probably something that will haunt me for the rest of my life because I have a pretty good idea what it is….

ANYWAY! Sorry this came a little late, I had a nasty sunburn on my shoulders and arms and found it quite painful to even type.

…and apparently whining like a spoiled child that nobody voted on my poll was enough to draw in some votes. Now I feel like a huge jerk. I'm sorry, readers.

…but I will be continuing the monthly poll now…

The next poll will be more relatable, trust me.

I actually do have a new poll up now, but it isn't the monthly one. It won't be up there for very long, either, so hurry up and vote!

The ideas for Pit and Samus in the hot tub and Crazy Hand's bit were courtesy of Megaranger66, and I plan to use his requests in the near future.

As for Theonewhodidnotdoit, thank Megaranger66 for the Pit/Samus fluff in this chapter, not me.

Oh, and the trolling bit's an internet meme, in case you didn't know.

*Hugs Link again*

Don't worry, Link… we'll always have boss rush mode…

Link: Get off of me.

Samus: *Looks to Pit* So… we both had the same sexual fantasy about each other…

Pit: Yup.

Samus: …

Pit: …

Samus: …wanna make it a reality?

Pit: *holds up rope* Yup.

Oh you crazy kids…

Please fav and review! Thanks!

-Mohawkman2233