My sincerest apologies to readers, for a long updating absence. FYI – This chapter contains a LEMON! For those who would prefer not to read it go to the end and you can read a short summary of what happened at the bottom of the page. I hope the length doesn't bother anyone, I really got into this installment.
Disclaimer (for the entire story) – Unfortunately, I don't own Dean and Sam Winchester, the Impala, or anything else that you may recognize. I would, however, like to hold claims to Belle Alexander, her brother, her counselor, and anything else in this story not mentioned on the show.
Wouldn't You Like to Know
Chapter 6 – Sex Talk and Sleepy Time
"No one said it couldn't be." Dean watched her walk over and placed the gun on the bedside table. He got the hint immediately and walked over to her taking her in his arms and kissing her. She pulled away, "Ok this doesn't mean that we're going to have sex."
"I know, but I still just want to clarify with you, the only reason you don't want us to have sex is because of your scar and because we just met. But it's mostly the scar, right?"
"That pretty much sums it up." She answered with a smile, but a far away look in her eyes told Dean that wasn't everything.
"Soooooooo, I could take that in a way that could possibly mean that if you didn't have the scar. We'd be gettin' some tonight?"
"Yes, now would you please just kiss me; I waited like all evening for this."
"All evening, huh? Well I mustn't keep you waiting!" He leaned down and kissed her, pulled back, and then lifted her onto the bed. She laid there waiting for him to join her, hold her, but he didn't he just kept staring at her. She was so beautiful, hair that looked like satin, and angelic features. He smiled when he thought about everything, most girls that they dealt with felt it much easier to talk with Sam and found Dean to be all too blunt and needless to say less than caring about their situations. He was the lying, no conscience, give-me-your-information-and-I'll-save-you, badass part of the brotherly duo, but Belle had seen through that, heck, she brought out the better side of him that few people rarely saw, yet, she allowed him to still be himself, goodness she was like him (cool car, snappy come backs).
"Ok, seriously, you're starting to creep me out!" Belle smiled at Dean as he fell back into reality. He jumped in bed next to her, making her laugh, then pulled her close. She was wearing very little compared to his jeans and t-shirt, but that really didn't bother Dean at all. They kissed, passionately at first, but it slowed down to a soft, yet romantic, one because he could feel her getting sleepy; he understood, it had been a long day for her. He gently pulled away and kissed down her neck to the top of her chest. He moved down farther still, skipping over her breasts completely, and kissed down her stomach over the fabric of her shirt. He stopped at the end of her top, but rolled down the band of Belle's pj shorts.
He softly kissed the thin, red mark on her skin that made her doubt herself. "Uhh, Dean, what are you doing?" Belle asked.
"Making this better" Belle looked at him, questioning his sanity. "Trust me, you'll smile about it when I'm done. Don't take this the wrong way, but I want you to think of me when you think of your scar, but I want it to be a good memory. I want you to think of tonight." She looked at him sweetly, yet slightly shocked. He had to admit what he had just said was packed full of emotion, way too deep, close to a chick flick moment. He'd have to work at keeping that at a minimum.
"I'm game" Belle smiled as she watched him go back to what he had been doing. She laid her head back and closed her eyes. It felt good and everything, but strange because the scar held such bad memories for her. At first those memories flooded back, but slowly their grasp on her began to subside as the feel of his lips touching her skin left her breathless. It felt like heaven, the good, by far, beat the bad. The hatred that he had possessed for her was nothing to the whatever Dean had for her. A soft, "ooooh, Dean", escaped her lips and she could feel him smile.
Dean didn't stop. It felt good to make her feel good. Besides it was close to her 'area' and he was relaxed where he was. He wasn't allowed to go there yet, but being close was a comfort. 'Dude, you are such a man-whore.' he thought to himself and he laughed inwardly at the thought. Dean heard her whisper his name and felt her gently lay her hand on the back of his head. She wasn't pushing him down, her hand was just relaxing there.
She couldn't take it anymore, the pleasure had become such a want for Dean that she couldn't handle it and she knew that she was all too tired to fulfill that want right now. She smiled and in a sing-song-y voice said "Dean, ya done yet?" Belle laughed out loud when he held up his finger for 'one more minute'. She let him go a little longer, but eventually the one minute evolved to five. She hooked some of the fabric of his t-shirt with her finger and tugged him up from the place he had seemed so content. He, after fighting Belle for more time, wrapped his arms around her and made sure there wasn't any space anywhere in between them. "Hmmmmm, that's better." Belle sighed contently.
"Hey I thought you were having fun." Dean teased with a fake pout, but there was a slight seriousness in his voice.
"Don't worry, I was, but ya gotta admit, this is nice too!" throughout the entire day her words had been nearly void of an accent. However, that phrase, uttered when she was nearly asleep, had been thoroughly packed full of Texan twang and Dean just had to laugh.
Belle snapped awake at Dean's laughter "Hey, don't laugh at me! I'm sleepy and um cold" She snuggled closer to Dean at her last words. He smiled and started playing with a lock of her hair. It smelled like shampoo, one of his favorite scents on a girl. "Yeah, Dean, really I'm freezing."
"Yeah, princess, you're not wearing much, are you?" Dean said as he pulled the covers over the two of them. "Okay, this is dumb. I was just fine, now I'm hot!" Dean slid out of bed and took off his jeans revealing his boxers and pulled his t-shirt over his head, showing off his muscular chest and toned stomach. He caught sight of himself in a mirror "Yep, I'm pretty damn good lookin!" Belle rolled her eyes, but she couldn't deny it, he was a perfectly prime example of the male gender and she had him all to herself.
"Yes, Dean you're beautiful! Now that we've got that covered, I'm turning into a Belle popsicle!"
"Well, maybe you should have worn more to bed!" Dean retorted in a mocking tone.
"Are you complaining? 'Cause I can change." Belle threw back at him, joking of course. She tossed the covers off of her and stood up trying, but severely failing to reach Dean's height. Then she walked over to her dresser and pretended to look for something to wear.
"NOOOOOOOO" Dean ran across the room, picked her up, and flung her over his shoulder. When he got to the bed he laid her down gently, smiled, and said "You look just fine." He then slipped beneath the covers next to her and pulled her close. He gasped as he felt her hand glide down his chest feeling his muscles, but it wasn't in an overly sexual way.
"Sorry, I'm just admiring. I'm shocked, 'cause you certainly don't eat healthy. I guess chasing ghosts and demons keeps you in shape?" she looked up cautiously, worried that her words might have stung. She shouldn't have worried; he was sweet and all, but nothing could bruise his ego.
"Yeah, I tend to do lots of running, digging and shooting. And ya know, saving peoples lives tends to chisel the body. It keeps me hot in my old age." He grinned. He wasn't old, per say, but he preferred not to know the number of years between him and Belle.
"You're not old, maybe a little idiotic sometimes, but nothing I can't look over." She knew the age difference was running through his mind, but she didn't worry about it. Besides he was more handsome than any guy her age. "And you're right, you are hot." She pulled herself up and dropped a short kiss on his lips, then she laid back down.
"Now that is something I can deal with." Belle grinned at his comment. "You're right I'm not old, but I do beat you out in like everything, ya know, numbers-wise."
"And how do you figure that, Mr. Winchester?"
"Well, with age I totally beat you. Let's see weight, height, muscle mass, body mass, anything having to do with daily calorie intake. I'm purely assuming that sexually speaking my numbers aren't even worth mentioning to you're like what one, maybe two. Hey, how many?"
"Your question, you answer first."
"Well, I actually have no clue. I don't even think I could give you names for a majority of them." He shrugged his shoulders and made an 'I'm clueless' face that made Belle laugh. "Your turn, baby."
"Oooo, I'm 'baby' now? Well about the numbers thing" Dean nodded "well, I , uhh, ya see…."
"Awwww, you're a virgin? How adorably adorable and a tad bit ironic!!!! My girlfriend's a newbie. Hey, I'm really good at it, we should try it sometime; your first time would be awesome!" he said it jokingly, but it would be fun…..
"Well, I'm not exactly a virgin. I mean a sort of am, but not really. People have told me both ways that I am, others think I'm not. So I guess yes I am, but no… maybe. Oh, Dean I have no idea." Belle had a taxed expression on her face. This was clearly a battle she had been fighting with herself for a long time and she was still inconclusive.
"I thought that it was kind of a yes or no question. 'Are you a virgin?' But I guess it's not. Wait, it kind of has to be a yes/no answer. You have either had sex or you haven't." Dean was confused. I mean, it was like that wasn't it? You either are a virgin or you're not, pretty simple. He had thought it was cute for her to still be a virgin, but a bit weird after he had been with so many girls.
"Well, I didn't actually consent, but I have had sex." She looked down as she said this. Belle was so clearly ashamed of what had happened.
"Belle, it's not sex if you didn't want to do it. He raped you. Wait, it was him wasn't it?" Dean really hated this guy. Dean may have had more than his fair share of one night stands, but at least he never made the girls do anything; everything had been consensual. He couldn't stand guys who did that to girls, they registered lower than demons on the 'bad guy' scale for Dean.
"It wasn't exactly rape, I just let it happen. I just didn't want him to get angry."
"'Cause when he got angry he hit you. You were just tired of being a punching bag. Belle, even if you just let it happen and you don't want it, it's rape. Pure and simple. I mean, sex is only sex if both of you consent to it and want it." Dean found it hard to explain to her that she wasn't in the wrong, it had been his fault. He did wonder, though, if she had ever willingly let someone touch her and be with her.
"He said that it wasn't just sex, he said he was making love to me. It didn't feel that way though…god…the stuff he made me do…" he watched her close her eyes as a single tear escaped, but it was caught by Dean, who wiped it off.
"You don't have to say if you don't want to, but you can tell me anytime. I'm going to ask once, but feel free to tell me later if now's a bad time. What, Belle, what did he make you do?"
"Everything. I can't think of anything he didn't force me to do. I'm so afraid to do that again. That's why I'm not really into sleeping with you, Dean."
"You said eventually that would be okay with you, Belle. You know, us being together."
"Every single time we did it, it hurt. I mean, I know first time and a time or two after that are supposed to hurt but, I didn't expect it to every time. It was just so painful. Listen I know you wouldn't ever purposely hurt me, but I know sex just does. Don't be creeped out by this but I really like, I mean I've just never felt this way about anyone and I was thinking that I would be willing to take pain if it made you feel good." Dean was flattered, not freaked out a bit when he heard her say that. He just wanted to make her see that sex could feel amazing for both involved.
"Can I explain something to you?" she nodded "Belle, first of all, like I said, sex is only sex if both consent. However, making love involves feelings of absolute trust and the feelings that you and I feel for each other; 'cause, Belle, I have the same feelings for you that you have for me. I'm touched that you were willing to go through practically torture for my benefit, but like I told you earlier, don't sleep with me simply for my benefit. I still stand by that, but that totally doesn't mean no sex, because, Belle, making love to someone should leave you feeling loved and cared for and safe in the arms of your lover. Not to mention you should feel pretty damn satisfied. And to answer my own question – yes, you are a virgin and anyone who has said you aren't is stupid beyond all reason." Belle listened and she believed him, all except for the virgin part.
"Are you sure I'm a virgin? I mean I've been with another guy. Doesn't that bother you?"
"Does it bother you that I've been with countless other women?" Belle shook her head no "You just answered your own question. Besides, you weren't 'with' him, he raped you. And, yes, you are a virgin. Maybe not physically, but definitely mentally." She nodded, but she hadn't looked him in the eye ever since she had told him. He slid his hand beneath her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his own. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."
"Are you sure it's not painful." Dean nodded.
"I'm positive."
"How can you be so sure?" Dean smiled, glad that their in-depth conversations were about something he was well versed in.
"All that you've ever experienced has been pain. Would you like to experience pleasure?" Belle nodded slowly. "Ok" his voice had changed, morphed by passion, and had gone even lower than his usual grovel. Their eyes locked as Dean switched their position from laying on their sides to her on her back and him on top, supporting his weight with his legs allowing his arms free movement. He leaned down and kissed her, trying to place every emotion into it. He played with her hair with one hand and kept his balance with the other. Dean moved the kiss down to her neck and any skin not covered by her shirt. She had begun moaning softly, but he kept at what he was doing until he drew his name out of her lips.
He had never heard his name said so softly, yet with such passion. His shifted all of his weight back to his legs and used the hand not preoccupied by her hair to gently cup her breast over her damn shirt. She let out a small gasp and Dean couldn't tell if it was good or not. He looked up at Belle who had a slightly frightened expression on her face. "Do you trust me?" she nodded. "Then you have nothing to fear, baby, let me love you." He went back to what he was doing on her neck and placed his hand softly back where it had been. He began to message it gently and he could feel her nipples through the fabric. Dean knew she was nervous, but he wanted her to feel something she hadn't yet, so he slipped both hands under the bottom hem of her shirt. He looked at her for permission and, to his great surprise she nodded.
He pulled up on the shirt in a way that let him feel her skin. As his hands grazed the bare skin of her breasts, she hadn't been wearing a bra, he heard her moan. She finished pulling the Henley over her head and Dean, well, Dean was happy. Both of his hands slowly glided up her stomach as he leaned down and kissed her passionately. When his fingertips reached the underside of her buds he cupped them in his hands and played softly with her nipples. He wondered if he had gone too far too fast when he heard the sweetest thing that could have graced his ears at that moment, "Oh Dean, please, please don't stop." He took her words as a cue to go farther. He moved one hand off her to help him balance as he bent his head to meet the tip of her breast, which he kissed and then allowed his mouth to perform magic on her far better than the evil he faced every day. She moaned with an "Oh God" and she lifted her chest to allow him better access. He finished his work on her left breast and followed with treating the right the same way.
Belle could feel Dean hard against her thigh and she knew he wanted everything. So did she, she would die before any other man took her. He had been her first for many thoughts and feelings tonight and she wanted him to take her virginity, even if it was only a mental virginity. She laughed at herself inwardly, a mental virgin, that had to be the dumbest thing she'd ever heard, or thought in this case. However, she was so tired, it was now close to two am and she had gotten up at six. Besides, his goal had been to give her pleasure and he certainly had. Dean had let her breasts rest from all he had done and he was now, again kissing her neck and his hands were playing with her shorts asking permission to do something about what she felt against her thigh. "Dean" she didn't speak above a whisper. He looked up and kissed her nose and then looked at her to hear what she was going to say, "You do understand that I want to do this right?" he nodded. "But, baby, I've been up for twenty hours straight and I'm worn out. I know how badly you want this –"
"You" Dean interrupted.
"What?"
"It's not how badly I want to get laid. It's how badly I want you. It's how desperate I am to feel you. Sounds crazy, but I need you Belle. However, I understand tired. I can wait for you, but I really need to know that you want this as much as I do and that you felt loved just a moment ago."
"Dean, you were right. I feel loved, cared for, and I absolutely feel safe. More importantly, for me anyways, I feel wanted and I haven't felt that way in a long time." Dean nodded, but he looked hurt beyond all reason, because he thought Belle was through talking. Through talking and she hadn't mentioned him being with her, wanting it, and having her first time, lovingly speaking.
"I understand"
"Huh? What do you understand?"
"I get it, you don't want this... you don't want me." He looked and sounded so terribly hurt.
"What? How could that even cross your mind? Dean, look at me. I would die before another man touched me. I want you to be the first man I've wanted to be with me. I'm so sorry that I can't finish tonight, but I want to be awake to lose my virginity to you. And trust me Dean I wouldn't have any other take it from me. And Dean it doesn't sound crazy, because I need you too. One more thing, I need to know that it will be sooner rather than later that I will feel you inside me, because I want that more than anything."
"It will definitely be sooner. Now if it could have been. Did you really mean all that?" Dean asked, Belle could tell the question he still had in his eyes. She pulled him into a short, yet telling kiss that answered his question.
"Yes, I meant every single word with my whole heart." Dean rolled over on his side and pulled her, topless, to him, bare skin on bare skin.
"You can go to sleep, Belle, but I need to stay awake."
"Why? Aren't you tired?" she realized that he was protecting her, but he needed sleep. Dean had to have been exhausted.
"Yes, I'm worn out, but I have to be able to protect you if she comes here again." He saw a look of worry flash across her face and it was just instinct to pull her closer. "Nothing will happen." His grip around her tightened even more.
"Dean, who is going to be able to pull me out of your death grip? I can barely breathe. If someone tries to get me you'll know. I'm safe with you or at least that's what ya told me." Belle wanted to sleep, but she wanted him to sleep too.
None of her reasons were disputable. If the counselor bitch tried to get Belle, he would most certainly know. "Fine, I'll sleep. Wake me if you get afraid or if, ya know, your counselor tries to kill you. Okay, that has to be one of the funniest sounding things I've ever said."
To all the non-LEMON readers – Basically, Dean makes the pain of Belle's past (with her scar) disappear, by kissing it. A funny conversation goes down between the two about age and how hot Dean is. Then they start talking about numbers and how Dean beats her in every category (age, weight, height, muscle mass, body mass, anything having to do with daily calorie intake, and number of sexual partners). Dean finds out that Belle's ex treated her worse than he ever could have imagined; the guy raped her, multiple times. Dean convinces her that she is still a virgin, mentally, anyways. Belle feels ashamed about the whole thing and Dean makes her feel better (this is where the lemon is). They don't go all the way because Belle was too tired, but they decide to, soon. Each finds out that the other has deep feelings for them. Belle persuades Dean to sleep and the whole chapter ended with one of my fave quotes (Dean is talking to Belle) "Fine, I'll sleep. Wake me up if you get afraid or if, ya know, your counselor tries to kill you. Okay, that has to be one of the funniest sounding things I've ever said."
Review, please! It gives me incentive to write more frequently!!
