Pit! You coming or not?
Pit: *is hiding in his room* There's no way I'm doing this! I changed my mind!
Come on! People left good reviews to see you try to seduce Samus! Are you going to let them all down?
Pit: Hell yes!
TOO BAD! I'M THE AUTHOR! YOU'LL DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO!
Pit: *walks out of room* *is only in his boxers* *has a collar and chain around his neck* Ok…
Oh SSAAAAAMMMMUUUSSSS…
Pit: *tries to run* *author holds him by the ear* OH SWEET PALUTENA PLEASE NO
Samus: *walks in* You rang?
*sees Pit in his boxers*
Samus: SQUEEEEEEEEE
*author shoves Pit on top of her*
Go get'm, tiger!
Pit: *blushing* U-uh… h-h-hi…
Samus: C'mere, you… *bites him*
Pit: *moans*
*author is videotaping the whole thing*
Heh… yeah…
*Lucario crashes through the roof*
Lucario: DIE PERVERTS DIE *punches everyone*
*author hides in the fridge and types fanfiction on his handy-dandy laptop*
The smoldering fragments of one of Smash Manor's Gym Targets clattered to the floor as Samus blew another in half.
For some reason, she always saw it fit to hone her aim right after she had relaxed. For instance, she had gotten out of the hot tub and changed only hours before. Now she was here, power suit pulsing, arm cannon sizzling as she split another target in two with a missile.
Our original four was just outside the gym, not having the best of luck convincing Pit to make his move.
"Seriously! There's no way she'd ever go along with this! She could kill me!" Pit was nearly in hysterics while Link and Ike pushed him along.
"Come on! You'll never know if you don't try!" Ike was practically shoving the poor angel through the door.
Link was right behind him.
"Seriously! It worked for Zelda! Who's to say it won't work for you?"
Marth was the only one taking Pit's side. He stood behind the hero and the mercenary, desperately trying to change their minds.
"Link, you know better than all of us how different Samus is from Zelda! She's not one for these kinds of things! Let the poor kid go!"
However, Marth's words fell on deaf ears. With one final heave, the archer had been thrown inside, the door slammed behind him.
He pounded on the glass.
"GUYS, PLEASE! I CAN'T DO THIS!"
Ike shrugged.
"We're not letting either of you out until SOMETHING goes down. You may as well buck up and give it a shot."
Link came a bit closer.
"You got your Drink of the Gods?"
Pit sighed. He lifted the red basin from behind his back.
"Yeah…"
"Good. If things start to fail, use that. Girls can't STAND that. It's like an obsession they all share."
Marth glared at the two blocking the door.
"Come on, guys. Are you SERIOUSLY willing to believe that Pit can pull off something like this?"
"Of course he can! All he has to do is reach deep within himself and pull out that heavenly sex object that all the fangirls see him as!"
"Link, stop being so creepy. It's like you're thing today."
"HOW AM I BEING CREEPY?! I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP THE POOR KID-"
The commotion caught Samus's attention from the other side of the room. Eyes shifting from the targets, she spotted what appeared to be Pit, Link, Ike, and Marth having a conversation through the glass doors. Interested, she lowered her cannon and started towards them, deactivating the training sequence.
The poor angel looked like he was losing his mind.
"PLEASE, LINK! SHE'LL NEVER-"
"Pit, stop being such a wuss and just go for it! You'll never know if you don't try-"
Out of the corner of his eye, the Hero spotted the huntress as she made her way across the gym. With a thumbs up to Pit he scrambled away, the other guys hot on his heels.
"NO! WAIT! DON'T LEAVE ME!"
"Pit?"
"GAH!"
In a flash the angel had whirled around and pressed his back against the doors. His pupils quivered as a hot blush painted his face red.
"Whoa, easy there. Didn't mean to startle you." Even through the metallic, robotic muffle of her helmet, the angel could still make out her silky, steely voice. He shuddered.
"O-Oh, n-no… It's fine…"
There was a pause. Pit's mind raced.
Oh Palutena, what do I do now?! Will she ever respect me again? What'll she feel like if I screw this up?! What if she laughs?! Oh, that would be horrible-
While fought with his inner demons, Samus simply stood there and stared, a tad confused.
Why is he so nervous? Is it my suit? Technology always seemed to confuse him… but it's not like I'm into all that holy hocus-pocus he packs in that bow, either… Why is he staring at me?
She spoke again, a twinge of concern in her voice.
"You alright? You seem tense."
Pit hurriedly nodded his head.
"Y-yeah! Never better!"
There was another pause.
"Well… I'm going to go resume my target practice… you can join if you want…"
Again, a hurried nod.
She shrugged and stomped away, visor switching into combat mode.
Pit relaxed a bit, lowering the bases of his wings from the wall.
Well, I suppose I have no choice.
Clenching the rose in his pocket that he had been given by Link, the angel took one hesitant step after another as he advanced on Samus. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. His whole body trembled. His wings twitched with anxious excitement. He could hardly breathe.
She was only a few steps away. She had just finished off the last of the targets. Now was his chance.
Once again, Samus's eyes shifted to the angel, who had suddenly appeared right next to her. A meager tint of red appeared under her helmet. Had he come to watch her?
No. Actually, it was the quite the opposite.
His trembling little voice could hardly be heard over the sizzle of the arm cannon.
"S-Samus…"
She turned her head.
"Hmm?"
Breaking through the final line of his inhibitions, the angel began his performance. Mimicking what he had seen Link do earlier, he took one of his daggers and brought it to his lips. As he drew his tongue across it, however, he pressed a tad too hard, causing the edge to draw a little blood. Pit winced and released a stifled mewl, eyes squeezing shut for a split second.
Samus was in shock.
What on Earth is he-?
Ignoring the pain and terrible taste in his mouth, the archer lowered the knife to his chest. He traced it down the middle of his toga, just as Link had. He tore apart the remaining fabric, but hadn't accounted for his wings fastening the tunic to his back. Skittishly, he reached back to pull it off, only to prick himself with the bow's tip. Once again he winced. He wasn't used to using his blades like this.
Even Samus had to blush as the angel finally removed the garment, disclosing his small, yet powerful figure.
Pit wasn't wearing any boxers at the present minute, merely a pair of child-like briefs hidden beneath his spandex shorts. Those would most likely prove to be a turnoff to the huntress, so the angel let them be. With a trembling arm he removed his boots, reddening furiously with every movement. He pulled out his laurel crown and shook out his hair, letting the dance of the sweet ruffles entertain Samus for a brief minute. It fell to the floor with a light tinkle, shattering the silence like a sledgehammer through thin ice.
It was time. He had to drop the question. The foreplay was unbearable anymore, no matter how short it had been.
Reaching into his pocket, he revealed his piece de resistance, the rose. Acting slowly, but with a quiver in his motions, he placed it between his pearly teeth, forgetting to remove the thorns due to his anxiety. They stabbed into his lipped like the spurs on a pinecone, causing him to scream on the inside. A small tear rolled down his cheek as he stifled the pain.
Samus was beginning to grow concerned.
"P-Pit… why are-"
He cut her off. He had to finish.
"S-so… S-S-Samus…"
He took a shaky step forward.
Samus flinched. Pit wasn't like this. No way would this sweet little angel stoop to something so dirty… and fail at it. Granted, he was putting on quite a show, but not in the way he envisioned. He approached her slowly, while she stood in a bewildered state, eager and curious to find out where he would go next.
Pit cursed under his breath when he realized that putting a hand to the huntress's cheek would be futile, as she was wearing her helmet. As he came as near as he could, Samus took a half step back, tensed and confused.
The angel began to panic.
No! I can't give up yet! I'm so close!
A thought crossed his mind.
It might be the right time to use it…
Lifting the red basin of the Drink of the Gods high above his fluffy locks, he uncapped the scarlet jug, allowing the liquid to rain down onto his face. Unfortunately, this fluid was much more fast-flowing than Link's Golden Chu Jelly, instantly pooling at the angel's feet. His adorable hair was soaked, now matted to his forehead. Dying to speak, but with nothing to say, he could only take a step forward, as if he were chasing the girl in front of him. However, the liquid snuck up under his feet, causing the poor teen to slip and stumble to the floor.
Samus observed the angel. He was on all fours, Drink of the Gods dripping down his moistened locks. He glanced up at her, tears staining his sapphire eyes as his cheeks grew flustered with frustration and embarrassment. His wings drooped into the otherworldly concoction, staining the pure, snow-white feathers. He looked like a wounded puppy, lost and cast aside. Silently he begged for forgiveness, simply wishing to sink into the ground and never exist.
She took a knee. She raised an armored finger to his sopping wet hair, lifting a few strands out of his eyes. She spoke very softly.
"Yes, Pit?"
The archer had nearly forgotten what he had set out to ask.
"O-Oh… w-well… it's n-not important…"
The huntress sighed.
"It seems pretty important, for you to go to such great lengths for it."
The angel lifted his knees to his chest, hiding his exposed figure in his sloppy, tainted wings.
"W-well… I-I w-was just w-w-wondering…"
Her eyebrows jumped.
"Yes?"
His little voice was even quieter now than it was before.
"…would you like to go to the dance with me…?"
Samus smirked. That's what he as up to. He only wanted a date.
She smiled brightly, nearly invisible to Pit under the thick steel of her helmet.
"Sure! I'd love to go with you."
The brunette's heart nearly leapt out of his chest. He succeeded.
With a warm grin, the huntress embraced her angel, perplexed as to how he could still smell so good after being drenched in some foreign drink. Screaming happiness held tightly within his heart, he hugged her as well, the tough metal of the Varia Suit creaking as Pit squeezed it ever so tightly.
Just outside, the guys had returned, and had been given quite the front-row seat to all of the actions displayed.
As you might imagine, all three were in shock.
Ike's voice was a lot less powerful than usual.
"He did it…"
Marth crossed his arms.
"What did I tell you? No way could he go through it with the way YOU described."
Link gave the prince a cold stare.
"Okay, fine, got it. We're stupid, you're a genius. Happy?"
The Altean grinned from ear to ear.
"Extremely."
Back inside, Samus was helping the poor angel to his feet. She bent her arm around his waist and leaned him on her side, serving no purpose to remove the blush from his face.
"Pit… that was very… out of character… for you."
He looked to the floor.
"I know… I'm sorry…"
"Someone put you up to it, didn't they?"
He jumped.
"W-what?! N-no, they j-just…" His gaze caught the glass doors, where his "supporters" were watching intently. As soon as he caught eye contact, Samus traced his vision with her own, reaching the doors and the perpetrators behind them.
She fumed. Her arm cannon began to charge a shot. She ran for the door.
"LINK I SWEAR I'M GOING TO KILL YOU THIS TIME!"
The guys scrambled away.
What? You didn't think Pit really COULD pull something like that off, did you? Pff. I have a better chance at that than he does.
Pit: Hey! I resent that!
Samus: *tugs on his chain* Go back to your cage.
Pit: Yes ma'am.
You know, I was originally going to strike a deal with you guys, saying that the more reviews you leave me, the faster I'll update. But, sadly, that appears to not be the case. One, I'll just be slow and let you all down anyway, and two, two viewers just used the review box to argue with each other, which really annoyed me. So… no deal.
Okay guys, imma gush for a bit, so if you don't feel like listening, feel free to leave.
Like, no joke. LEAVE. Stuff's about to get serious.
I met this girl. (I know, great opening, right?) She reminds me of Samus in every way. It's like, scary perfect. Of course she doesn't look like her, but more their personalities are similar. I personally like to think of myself having a personality similar to Pit. Do you see where I'm going with this?
No?
I'll spell it out for you.
IM TOTALLY HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HER AND I WANT TO SEE IF A PIT PERSONALITY WILL WORK ON A SAMUS PERSONALITY SO I CAN JUSTIFY MY BELIEFS AND SHOVE IT DOWN THE INTERNETS THROAT
That's clear enough, right?
Well, I'm done with that. As always, please fav and review, and be sure to check out the monthly poll! Au revoir! (Yes, I take French now.)
-Mohawkman2233
There. That wasn't so bad, was it?
Pit: *is getting a shoulder rub from Samus* Y'know, not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
