Disclaimer - Usual.
Chapter 47
Peter had left the castle a few days after the funeral. His mum had last minute errands to run for the wedding and she wanted his help. The wedding took place at the beginning of August. It was a small, intimate ceremony and Peter wished he could have invited the other Marauders, as it was also incredibly boring. But once the wedding was over, Peter was allowed to return to the school. It was just as well, he had no intention of joining his mum and John on their honeymoon.
Sirius had declared Professor Dumbledore his hero. He had no idea how the wizard had gotten his parents to agree to letting him stay at the school for the summer, but he was grateful. Mrs. Potter, who was present for the confrontation, simply smiled and said that one does not insult one of the most powerful wizards in England, or question his judgment, without some sort of consequence.
James, of course, had been allowed to stay, which was good for everyone. He became the stabilizing influence of the group and kept everyone on an even keel. He prevented Sirius from killing himself when he got bored and goaded the many creatures that lived on the Hogwarts grounds into fights for his amusement. And he kept Remus from wallowing for too long.
Time during the summer worked in an odd, warped way. There were days that dragged on impressively and seemed to last forever, and then there were weeks that flew by and the guys couldn't remember where the time went. They spent many hours down by, and in, the lake. They continued exploring the castle and grounds and were rewarded by finding more secret passages, bringing their total of secret passages that led off grounds to seven. They also focused a lot of time on reading the book Sirius had bought and trying to learn how to do wand-less magic. The most success they had was getting a quill to fall to the floor, but they were never sure if that was wand-less magic, or if a breeze coming through the open window had blown it off the desk.
Though the Death Eaters were unusually quiet, there were two more werewolf attacks that summer – one with each full moon. The muggle papers were reporting about an odd, twenty-four hour flu infecting the muggles that summer. The symptoms included chills, nausea, and in extreme cases, hallucinations and passing out. The Dementors were obviously still on the loose. Add to that a break in at the Ministry of Magic, and it was hard to continue calling these events random. The Ministry was refusing to comment on the nature of what had been stolen, but most people figured it was something major since the Ministry was being as tightlipped as they were.
As the school year approached, Remus became more like his old self, slowly but surely. After his night with Madam Pomfrey, he felt he was finally able to start moving forward, though there were things he still avoided. He had not returned home. The house was now in his name and he could return any time, but he wasn't ready yet, so he pushed it off. He also avoided Aden. She had written him almost daily and, while he felt bad for not responding, his guilt over his parent's death reinforced, in his mind, why he should not have gotten involved in the first place. He knew that once she got back to school he'd have to talk with her, but he wasn't ready for that either.
The week before school started, Mr. and Mrs. Potter arrived at Hogwarts to take the boys to Diagon Alley for their school supplies. The Potters bought James' and Sirius' school supplies, unbeknownst to Sirius who naively believed that another miracle had taken place and his parents had handed over the money to buy his things. He could be wonderfully unaware at times. Peter's mum and John met the group in Diagon Alley and they all had lunch together.
The day was hardest on Remus, as he now had to do everything himself. It wasn't that he was incapable, it was just that it was a painful reminder that his parents were no longer watching out for him. Mrs. Potter had offered to take care of most of the shopping for him, but Remus insisted on doing most of it himself.
The Start of Term Feast was awkward, at first, for Remus. A lot of people stared at him or cast furtive glances his way. A few came up to him, offering their condolences. He was quickly annoyed, however, at the constant gentle tones that everyone seemed to have adopted when speaking with him, as if they thought he was made of glass and talking too loudly would make him shatter.
After the tenth girl came up to Remus and gave him a hug, Sirius, smirking and staring directly at Remus, said, "You know, if I had known the attention I could get from the ladies, I think I would have offed my parents, too."
Several of the surrounding Gryffindors gasped at the inappropriateness of his joke. But Remus actually laughed. "You would."
This exchange broke the tension that had enveloped Remus, and he looked thankfully at Sirius when people started talking and joking with him, instead of whispering and coddling him.
When the Feast was over, and everyone got up to leave, Remus noticed that Aden was trying very hard to get to him through the crowd. He hurried to lose himself in the throng. This was one conversation for which he was not ready.
The other Marauders noticed his hasty retreat and glanced around. Understanding came to them when they saw a very frustrated and hurt-looking Aden staring after him.
Back in the common room, the Marauders took their usual seats with Remus. He and Sirius sat on the couch while James and Peter took the nearby arm chairs.
"So why are you avoiding her?" Sirius asked.
Remus shrugged, continuing to stare into the fireplace. The light of the fires enhanced the color of his normally yellow-hazel eyes, making them glow. Frowning, he said, "I'm going to break up with her."
"Why?" Peter asked in surprise.
Remus looked over at him. "Because. I don't… I can't…" he sighed. "I don't want her to get hurt."
"It wasn't your fault, mate," James insisted.
Remus leaned forward and whispered angrily, "They weren't killed by Death Eaters. They were killed by werewolves – Fenrir. It wasn't random! How can you possibly say it's not my fault?"
"You weren't even there," James protested.
"Yes! And if I had been…" Remus sat back on the couch again, looking defeated, "If I had been, they might not be dead."
"Look," Sirius began, but Remus stood up suddenly.
"I'm going to bed."
The guys watched him go, unsure what, if anything, they could do.
Just then, Gillette plopped down on the couch next to Sirius. He lifted his arm so she could cuddle up next to him and then wrapped it around her. "Hello, love," Sirius grinned.
"Hello," she smiled back. Nodding toward the stairs, she asked, "So how is he?"
Sirius frowned, "Better."
"But still… not good," James added.
Gillette nodded. "It takes time. I remember when my granddad died. My mum cried for weeks, but slowly she returned to the way she was. But, you know, to this day she has moments where she just… drifts off, remembering her Da. And we were all expecting him to go. It wasn't sudden… Does anyone know why his parents were killed, yet?"
"No," James shook his head.
"Did you know them?" Gillette asked.
"No. Not really," James said again.
"We really only saw them at the train station… Oh, and that one time we visited him at his house," Sirius added.
After a minute of silence, James stood up and tapped Peter on the knee. "Come on. Let's go to bed." Peter got up to follow James.
Sirius called out, sounding offended, "James… Are you cheating on me?"
"I don't think it counts as cheating if you know about it," James quipped back.
Sirius laughed and then shuddered dramatically. Speaking to Gillette, he said, "That just conjures up nasty images."
Gillette leaned over and kissed him. "Better?" she asked.
Grinning, Sirius answered, "Much."
They sat for another minute - Sirius slouched on the sofa so that his head could comfortably rest on the back, and his arm was still around Gillette. Gillette's back was leaning against Sirius' side, her head resting on his shoulder.
"Did you get in trouble?" Gillette asked out of the blue.
Sirius raised his head off the couch, "For what?... Oh." He laughed. "Nah… well, a little, but it wasn't bad."
"Does she always just bark at you and expect you to obey?"
"When she's speaking to me, yeah." Sirius had rested his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. "How was your summer?" He wasn't really in the mood to dwell on his family.
"It was great! We went to the coast for a couple of weeks. I spent a week with Lily. I kind of feel bad for her sister, though."
"Why's that?" Sirius asked, not really caring, but liking the sound of Gillette's voice.
"Her parents think Lily is the greatest thing, very special – gifted, they called her. Petunia's just… their other daughter. But Lily and Petunia get along pretty well, so that helps. And she's seventeen this year, so I think she's going to get her own place." Sirius was frowning when Gillette glanced up at his face. "What is it?"
"Hmm? Oh. Nothing. What's your family like?"
Gillette was quiet for a while. Sirius turned his head in her direction and opened his eyes. He couldn't see her face, just the back of her head. "Gillette?"
"It's good. They're good, mostly. I live with my mum and step-dad – well, this year's step-dad. I've had three. And I have a half-brother and a couple of step-brothers. My dad's remarried, too. You could say I have a large family."
"I'm finding family isn't necessarily the people you share your name with," Sirius said softly.
"This is true," Gillette responded.
"So how's… Troy?" Sirius asked, closing his eyes again.
"Troy? Oh," Gillette laughed. "He was nice. We only went out that one time. Went on a couple dates this summer, but… meh. I'm too young to get into anything."
Sirius smiled. "Me too."
They chatted back and forth a bit longer before Sirius fell asleep. Not wanting to disturb him, Gillette settled in and fell asleep as well. The next morning, Rodney, the seventh-year prefect, nudged the two of them awake. "Hey guys. Um… this isn't really… You need to head to your dorms."
Gillette got up sleepily and, rubbing her eyes, headed upstairs. Sirius got up and stretched. "Sorry man," he said to Rodney. "I just fell asleep."
"No worries. Just, try to fall asleep in your own bed, okay?"
"Mmm," Sirius nodded and headed upstairs. He was awake by the time he got to the top of the stairs. He decided to take a shower before waking everyone.
By the time he was out of the shower, Remus was up. They grunted in greeting as they passed each other heading to and from the bathroom.
Sirius finished getting ready then graciously, in other words, very loudly and with much jumping on beds, woke up James, Peter, and Addison. When Remus stepped into the room, he saw the door of the dorm slam shut and an assortment of books collide with the back of it.
"Well, I see the alarm still works," Remus snarked. He received a death-glare from James, who was heading into the bathroom.
The guys all headed to the Great Hall together and then Addison split off from them and sat with his friends. McGonagall came around with their schedules just as the owls arrived.
Remus received a note from Aden that simply said, "Meet me tonight at 7 in the Entrance Hall." Remus looked over to where Aden usually sat. She was watching him. When their eyes met, he nodded, agreeing to meet, then he looked away and finished his breakfast.
At 6:55 that evening, Remus and Aden were standing face-to-face, neither sure what to do or where to begin.
Taking her hand, Remus said, "Shall we walk?" Aden nodded, so they headed outside with no destination in mind.
"Why are you avoiding me?" Aden asked.
Remus smiled sadly. Aden's straightforwardness was one of the things he really liked about her. They came to a standstill and faced each other. Taking her other hand in his as well, he sighed, "I can't… do this right now."
Aden nodded, "You didn't answer the question."
"All right. Um… Because I didn't want to have this talk."
"You don't want to break up with me?"
Remus was caught off guard by the question. "I… No. I mean, I really like you, but…"
"But, 'you can't do this right now,'" she quoted. Remus nodded. "Why? What are we doing that you can't do?"
Remus cocked his head to the side, thinking about the question. "I don't want you to get hurt."
"The way your parents were?" Aden asked gently. Remus nodded again. "Why would you think I would be?"
Remus turned away from her and stared off into the forbidden forest. "I just think you will be."
"Are you protecting me or you?"
Remus glanced back at her briefly, "Both, I guess."
"Well… I didn't ask to be protected. And… I'm… slightly offended that you would think so little of me as to assume I'm going to hurt you." Aden said gently, but angrily.
Remus turned quickly to face Aden again, his eyes wide, "No, I didn't…"
"You must." She cut him off, her frustration growing. "You admitted you're trying to protect both of us, so you must think I'm going to hurt you in some way."
Remus' head dropped. "You don't know everything about me."
"No. I don't. You won't let me!" Aden sighed, calming down some. "I don't expect to know everything about you right away. No one does when they start dating. It's part of the fun – getting to know the other person."
Remus shook his head. "No, no. You… It's not that simple."
"No. It seldom is." Aden stepped forward and put her hands on either side of Remus' face, holding his head so he was looking at her. "I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. I don't know if we're 'meant-to-be' or not. But I know that I will do everything I can to keep from hurting you. And I believe that you would never intentionally hurt me. It's worth the risk, to me. Is it worth it to you?"
Part of Remus was screaming at him to walk away; it was the only way to keep Aden safe – from himself and others who might come after him. Part of him wanted to take the chance.
Tears started down Aden's face and she pulled her hands away from him. He had been silent for too long, and she figured that since the answer wasn't yes, it must be no.
As she started to turn away, Remus reached out and placed his hands on her shoulders. Then he slid them down her arms until he was holding her hands. Like the night at the end of last term when he agreed to date her, he leaned in and touched his forehead to hers. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes, it's worth it." He drew her into a hug and they stood there a few minutes, drawing comfort from each other. Then they broke apart and headed back to the castle, hand-in-hand.
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A/N - Glad ya'll found me. :) Thanks again for the many awesome reviews. Thank you, also, to those who've added me to their alerts/favorites lists. That's awesome! Thanks also to my faithful support - Mom, mei mei, and J.A.Carlton. Love you.
Nonair - Sorry I didn't respond to your last review. I... got confused (see me blush) when posting the new story. Sorry about that. Regarding the previous chapter - Thank you. I'm glad you can see the boys growing up and changing. I am thrilled that I was able to get that across. Also, glad you like what Gillette did - and Sirius' reaction. Thank you.
As for this last chapter - glad you found me. :) Also glad you like the boys maturing and that it's realistic and keeping in character. As usual, thanks for letting me know I'm staying on track. Consistency in the characters is important to me, so thank you. It does seem that neither Remus nor Sirius get much of a break in life. Pretty sad when you stop and think about it. Thanks again for reviewing. :D
