So, yes I know I updated yesterday (or was it the day before?), but I'm gonna update again because of a couple of complaints, and because the last chapter was so short. I promise this chapter will be longer than the last.

Disclaimer: I DON'T own Junjou Romantica.

Chapter Nine

Akihiko's POV

When I said the names of those two men, anger coursed through me, along with a stinging pain in my heart. The blood drained from Misaki's face when he heard the names, but his expression remained indifferent and cold. "Why did you want to know?" I asked, regaining my composure.

"Not sure, I guess I was just curious," he answered his voice as cold as his expression. I felt anger rise in me, just like the anger that Misaki felt earlier. Misaki seemed to notice my anger, and pain showed in his eyes, and no move was made to cover it up, as if he wanted me to see it. Misaki sighed, a depressed and lonely sigh.

"How can you tell me you love me?" he asked me. "I know your heart will always belong to Ritsu, I can see it in your eyes."

"You're wrong. I only thought I was in love with him because he was like you. It wasn't really him that you loved," I said, desperately trying to convince him. It seemed that was the wrong thing to say, because he just looked even sadder than before, devoid of any of the anger he had before, or rather devoid of any emotion other than loneliness and sadness.

Misaki laughed, a bitter yet sad laugh that startled me to silence. He startled me even more when tears started sliding down his face. I couldn't see his eyes because of his bangs, but I could feel the bitter loneliness rolling off of him like waves.

"I don't . . . know anymore," Misaki said, "Sometimes I think the pain I feel will kill me, and sometimes I just wish it would. It just . . . hurt so much when I saw you with Ritsu, and it hurts when I see the pain you feel over losing him. And you know what?"

"What?" I managed to get out when I realized he wasn't saying anything. Misaki paused, as if contemplating whether he should say anything or not.

He took a deep breath and whispered, "What hurts most of all is that it's my fault you're in so much pain. It's my fault Ritsu died. And I hate myself for it." I was stunned once again, speechless. Both of us were silent, me from shock and disbelief, and Misaki, I'm guessing, from overwhelming emotions.

"What . . . how?" I finally managed.

"I'm sorry. I just can't say right now. I-I just can't." The amount of pain and self-hatred in his voice made my heart squeeze painfully. "I need to talk to my brother," he said finally, wiping the tears from his face, and walking out of the room before I could say anything or stop him.

Misaki's POV

After the effort and courage it took to get through my wall of fear, I couldn't do the same thing again and tell him why it was my fault. I probably used up all of my courage for a lifetime showing Akihiko my true feelings, if only a glimpse. I walked to my brother's room and was about to knock on the door, when it opened itself, revealing my brother with a determined gaze.

I looked at him with wary curiosity as that look of determination in his eyes wavered. "I-I was just about to talk to you," Takahiro said, "I've decided to tell you what that man, Haitani, said. You deserve to know." I noticed a strange look in his eye with the last sentence, a look I couldn't put a name to.

I nodded and walked into his room. "So . . .?" I asked once Takahiro closed the door behind himself.

"Well . . . Haitani said some things that . . . really shocked me . . ." he began, and I could tell he was trying to stall.

"What exactly did he say?" I asked forcefully.

"He-he told me some things about your time in jail . . . and some things before you went to jail." Takahiro looked at me, asking with his eyes if he should continue. I nodded, afraid that my self-control would snap.

"The first thing he told me was that you Usagi used to be l-lovers, for two years. Of course, I know that isn't true. That's impossible. Haha . . ." His laughter was forced and strained. It stopped altogether when he saw my serious expression.

"It's true. Me and Akihiko used to be in that kind of relationship," I said shortly, not willing to let out any of the specific details.

Takahiro continued in a quiet voice, "He said that in jail you-you were r-raped by other men, along with another man, and that you started cutting yourself, too. He told me he watched you do it every time," Takahiro has started rushing his words, attempting not to break down. 'More like he cut me himself! Actually, I did it about as often as he did, but still.' I thought, and didn't say anything in response to my brother's words.

I only pulled my long sleeves up and showed my arms, the scars standing out on my pale skin. I thought that was all Haitani said, because that was all there was to say, until I remembered one thing, one detail I wouldn't have ever told Takahiro, not to save my life.

I felt the blood drain from my face as Takahiro said, "H-he told me one more thing."

"And what was that?" I asked, my voice masked with a cold tone.

"He told me you fell in l-love with one of the inmates, that you two . . . were together, but before you could get closer, he was released from jail, and told you he hated you, and then he removed himself from your sight." It was then that I realized that the strange look I couldn't place earlier . . . had been pity. I started backing away from my brother, eyes concealed by my bangs, barely managing to hold back my emotions.

Even with all my efforts to hold them back, the tears managed to trail their way down my face. My back hit the wall, and my legs gave out, while my brother just watched me break down. I slid down the wall, and one of my hands covered my mouth, the pain of the memory overwhelming me.

Rae and I had comforted each other in jail. I had met him on my first day there, and he helped me through the torturous life of jail for one year. About two months in, I realized I had fallen for him, and gathering up all the courage I could in the midst of jail, I confessed to him.

Rae confessed that he loved me too, and I believed it. Until he was finally released from jail, that is.

~~~Flashback~~~

Rae and I had been talking, killing off time until lunch, when one of the security guards showed up at the cell, and asked for Rae. "What do you want? I haven't done anything, have I?" he asked.

"You've been released from jail, you're free to go," the guard said, opening the cell door for Rae. He stood up and started walking towards the door. The naïve kid I was, I asked him frantically, "Will you wait for me?"

The answer I got broke me completely. "Of course not!" he spat, voice filled with hatred. "I hate you! I've hated you ever since we met. Why the hell would I wait for you?! The only reason I pretended to love you was for survival. That's it." With that, Rae removed himself from my sight, taking with him the shattered remains of my heart.

~~~Flashback End~~~

I managed to pick myself up off the floor and stop the flow of my tears. "Did he tell you all of this straight out, or did he offer to tell you?" I asked Takahiro. My back was to him, but I could here him gasp in shock at the question. He obviously hadn't been expecting it.

"H-he offered . . .?" The answer sounded more like a question, but it was answer enough for me.

"Who the hell gave you the right to nose around my private life without even telling me?!" I yelled, my self-control finally snapping completely.

We were silent until Takahiro couldn't stand it any more. "I-I'm sorry, Misaki. I didn't realize it w-would be that bad," he stuttered. I walked up to him and slapped him. Hard.

Okay, so that's a wrap! How was it? Longer, better? Let me know in the reviews. I want 6+ this time, as an apology for the last chapter, along with this one. I really am sorry, my sadistic side came out and it's very rude. It seems I have multiple-personality disorder (JK!). Anyways, reviews, PM's, I want 'em all.

Dragneellover out!