Chapter 54
The train ride home for Christmas was comfortable and long and felt almost like normal. Remus was along for the trip because James had invited him to spend the holidays at his house. He would not be transforming during their time off, so it was the perfect time for a visit and Madam Pomfrey agreed he could go. None of the Marauders had wanted him alone, since this would be his first Christmas without his parents and, truth be told, Remus didn't want to be alone at the school, either. With so few students staying at Hogwarts over the holidays, the large school got a little lonely in the best of times. Madam Pomfrey figured things would seem more homey for Remus… well, at a home.
When they arrived at the station, the guys made their way over to the Potters and the, now, Wagners. As they approached, they could hear Peter's mum going on about the wedding and the honeymoon and the lovely time they had. The Evanses and Beynons were there, too. As usual, Peter's mum ushered him off rather quickly, leaving the others standing in the station. Mrs. Potter welcomed Sirius and Remus with open arms, as she did her own son.
A minute or so later, Gillette and Lily disembarked from the train and were deep in conversation when Petunia saw them. She immediately excused herself to join them, and they all started talking together.
When they reached their parents, Lily asked, "Mum, would it be all right if I spent a week with Gillette? They're going skiing."
"Well…" Mrs. Evans hesitated. She glanced at Petunia. "I thought we'd spend the holiday together."
"Oh don't worry mum," Petunia jumped in. "Vernon and I are meeting some of his friends for a get together… yes, at his parents' house. And yes, his parents will be home." She automatically filled in the details with only a slight rolling of her eyes.
"Oh. Well, I suppose then." Mrs. Evans' answer was immediately followed by an outbreak of girly squeeing and hopping.
Remus, Sirius, and James exchanged an exasperated look at the girly antics. James said, "Remus, will you be able to come over? We'll be able to stay up all night and have girly conversations and listen to music and get into pillow fights…"
"…And braid each other's hair," Remus joined in and the two started squeeing and hopping like little girls, at which point Sirius hit both of them on the back of the head.
Imitating a drill instructor, which lead to James and Remus snapping to attention, Sirius said, "You are men! Men! And don't you forget it! There will be no girly conversations – though plenty of conversations about girls." Sirius winked at Gillette. "There will be no pillow fights or braiding of the hair – let alone grooming of any kind. There will be no squealing and excited hopping. You're men – stoic and proud. You eat like pigs and belch and leave a mess wherever you go and leave the toilet seat up and…" he would have continued on, but Mrs. Potter gently cuffed him on the back of the head.
"Not in my house you won't," she said as sternly as she could, while trying not to laugh.
"Aww mum," Sirius complained. "You take all the fun out of being a guy."
"Sirius!"
"Speak of the devil," James whispered to Sirius, who nodded in agreement.
"See you soon," Sirius waved and then gave Mrs. Potter a peck on the cheek before leaving for the house that he no longer considered home and the woman he no longer considered mum.
Sirius thought it odd that his mother didn't take them straight home. Due to the prank, Regulus was thoroughly ignoring his brother, and probably would have hexed him more than once if they weren't in such a public place, that being Diagon Alley.
Out of the blue, Mrs. Black said, "How did you pay for your supplies this year?"
Sirius was confused by the question. "Uh… I didn't. You gave the Potters money… for…" Sirius groaned, "You didn't, did you?"
Mrs. Black looked outraged. "The Potters? The Potters paid for your things? Well! That will have to be rectified. No son of mine is going to be a beggar. You will repay them – from your own account."
"Fine." Sirius didn't even argue the point. He would be more than happy to pay them back. He never would have let them buy his things had he known. He felt somewhat stupid for having thought his parents had worked out a deal with the Potters, but he could make things right by paying them back.
Mrs. Black huffed slightly. She had apparently been looking for an argument, but it hadn't come.
"Why aren't we going home?" Sirius asked suspiciously.
"I have errands to run."
"You? Why didn't you send a house elf to do it for you?"
"Don't talk back to me."
After about an hour, Mrs. Black suddenly decided it was time to go home. When they got there, she glanced around briefly and then stood still, as if unsure what to do. Sirius took the opportunity to look around, and noticed a cloak hanging on one of the hooks near the door.
"Who's here?" Sirius asked.
"Um…" Mrs. Black clasped her hands together. "Someone for your father. Head upstairs, both of you."
Sirius was more than happy to oblige, but just as he reached the stairs, he heard the door to his father's study open and a voice wafted out that he didn't recognize. He paused, trying to catch a glimpse of the face that went with the voice. Only, when he did actually see the face, he wished he hadn't. The man walking with his father to the front hall was deathly pale and gaunt. He had red eyes. Sirius thought vaguely that he was looking at the incarnation of evil… or Slytherin himself.
"Ah. Your sons," his voice was higher than expected and, though he smiled, there was nothing warm or friendly about the man.
"Yes, my Lord. The oldest one there is Sirius. And our youngest, Regulus," Mr. Black said quickly.
After years of training, fear made Sirius fall back on what he knew best – his manners. Without thinking, he bowed before the man as he was introduced.
There was no return introduction. Instead, the man stared unwaveringly into Sirius' eyes as if probing for information, then he did the same to Regulus, who had returned to standing next to Mrs. Black. "Regulus," the man said slowly, his voice carrying a hint of a hiss with it. "You will do well – enough. But you…" He approached Sirius, who was standing on the first step and so was at equal height with the man before him. "You do not hold to the beliefs of your parents. Foolish boy!"
Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw his father make a jerky movement, as if to interrupt, but he remained silent.
"Look at me!" The man's voice did not raise, but the command was irresistible. "I can see it clearly. You're an open book, boy. Gryffindor, friend of mudbloods, blood-traitors, and… Oh yes!" The cold smile reappeared. The man leaned in and whispered, "A half-breed."
Sirius' eyes got wide and his stomach flipped over on him. How had he known? Would this man tell his parents? Or anyone?
But abruptly, the man stepped back and chuckled as he strode to the front door, Sirius' father following quickly behind him. They said parting words and, when the man had finally left, Mr. Black kept his hand on the door knob and took a few seconds to gather himself.
"Do you delight in humiliating us?" Mrs. Black yelled. "Why do you think we stayed away so long? So we wouldn't have you embarrass us in front of him."
"Walburga." Mr. Black didn't sound angry, just tired. Mrs. Black fell silent. "Go to your room Sirius. I will be up shortly."
Sirius hurried to his room and waited. He didn't even bother to point out he'd done absolutely nothing wrong this time. He couldn't shake the feeling of fear and powerlessness that the man had brought forward. And he couldn't help but wonder how he knew the things he did. Was it possible to read someone else's mind?
A few minutes passed and Mr. Black stepped into Sirius' room. "As you may have guessed, that was the Dark Lord." Sirius watched his father closely. He was confused by the lack of signs of anger. "Sirius…" his father sighed. "I… I fear for your safety. I fear for Regulus, too, though for different reasons. You were to be the Black Heir." Sirius noted the past-tense usage of "to be." "You were perfect in so many ways," Mr. Black reached out and barely touched the front of Sirius' hair. "Why?..." Mr. Black let out another frustrated sigh. Then his features, which had been uncharacteristically soft, hardened abruptly. "I have not been able to do a proper job raising you. There are times when, in order to avoid greater danger, one must face a lesser one so that one can recognize the wrong and turn from his errant course. I am turning your discipline over to your mother. Perhaps she can do what I could not." Mr. Black headed toward Sirius' door. Just as he was about to step over the threshold, he said in the softer tone from earlier, "And Sirius… learn about occlumency." Then he was gone.
Sirius sat on his bed, stunned. His mind swirled in confusion. So much had happened in such a short span of time. He had come face-to-face with The Dark Lord, which left him feeling naked and exposed. Then his father had given some indication that – dare he even think it – he was loved. And he wasn't even sure how he felt about that. It had become easy to hate his family when he believed they hated him – or at least, didn't love him. He wasn't sure which was worse, being treated the way he was, or being treated the way he was because they loved him – at least his father did.
After a couple of hours of nothing but circular arguments with himself, Sirius decided to go to sleep. He would talk to James tomorrow.
For the next week, however, Sirius didn't get a chance to talk with James. If he was not in the presence of his mother, he was in the presence of her infernal house elf, Kreacher. She yelled at him for everything. He wasn't really sure how this was supposed to change his mind about his beliefs, but at least nobody was getting hurt.
After a week, Sirius had to resort to taking the mirror to the bathroom so he could talk to James, who he knew would be going ballistic because of the number of times Sirius had had to ignore the mirror vibrating in his pocket.
Sitting in the bathroom with water running in the background, Sirius whispered, "James Potter."
"Sirius!" James answered surprisingly quickly. Sirius watched James grab a napkin and realized he was eating breakfast. "Where the hell have you been?"
Sirius heard Mrs. Potter say, "Language, James," in the background, causing him to smile.
"Sorry mum." James looked somewhere to the right of the mirror. "Mum was about to send the Ministry in to storm your house and get you out. You okay? What are you doing?'
"I can't talk long. I'm in the bathroom. I don't know if I'll be able to talk again… long story. Do me a favor," Sirius requested.
"Okay," James replied.
"Ask Mum what occlumency is."
"Mum, Sirius wants to know…" James was cut off by another voice, who Sirius figured was Remus, which cursed and then quickly apologized. "What?"
"James," Remus started.
"What?" James got up and went out of Sirius' view. Sirius heard James say "No!"
"James?" Sirius called to him, risking exposure.
"Mum?" James sounded far more upset than Sirius was comfortable with.
"James… talk with Sirius. I'll get your Father and we'll contact the ministry and find out if anyone… survived," Mrs. Potter said.
"Sirius!" James said, having temporarily forgotten the mirror and his friend on the other side. "Sirius," James suddenly reappeared in the mirror looking shaken. "Evans! The Evanses were killed." It was Sirius' turn to curse.
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A/N – Sorry, once again, for being late. My only excuse this time is that yesterday was Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans (as I think we're the only ones who celebrate it). Of course, thank you much to those who read and reviewed. And thank you to my wonderful editors, Mom and mei mei, and my awesome (on so many levels) beta, J.A. Carlton.
Thank you all.
