Usual disclaimer applies.
Chapter 55
Remus' curse, and subsequent apology, had gotten James' full attention, as it was highly unusual for him to do so, even when it was just the four Marauders. But when Remus hesitated to share what he had just read in The Daily Prophet, James jumped to his feet to find out why. When he read that another muggle family - a muggle family with a witch for a daughter - had been killed, his stomach dropped, and he knew it was somebody they knew. Then he found the name – Evans. "No!" was all he could say. It couldn't be true. "Mum?" As childish as it sounded, he needed her to fix things.
Mrs. Potter quickly scanned the article which had clearly affected both boys deeply. As soon as she saw the names, she understood. She had seen her son interact with Lily and watched him as he watched her walk away. She didn't know if even James realized he was in love with the cute redhead, and her heart went out to him. "James… talk with Sirius. I'll get your Father and we'll contact the ministry and find out if anyone… survived." She immediately left the kitchen to find Charles. She found him in their bedroom getting dressed.
"Charles. You need to contact the Ministry – Moody, maybe."
Mr. Potter looked at his wife and knew immediately something was wrong. The fact that she mentioned the auror didn't help his feelings about whatever was going on. "Eileen?"
"The Evanses, Charles. The Evanses were killed; but it didn't mention the children."
"Right." Mr. Potter pulled on a robe and immediately headed to the fireplace. He grabbed a handful of floo powder and threw it in. "Ministry of Magic – Department of Magical Law Enforcement – Alastor Moody."
"Charles?" came Moody's growl of a voice. "Now's not a good time…"
"I know, Alastor. I apologize but I'm looking for information on the Evanses. My son goes to school with their daughter."
Alastor sighed. There were very few people he would take pause for when he was as busy as he currently was. Charles Potter was one of them, but he didn't have time for pleasantries. "The daughters are alive. Now I really must go."
"Thank you," Charles said, not minding Alastor's abruptness. It was one of the things that had endeared him to Charles.
Charles moved quickly for his age, not wanting to keep his son and Remus waiting for news. Mrs. Potter was standing by the kitchen sink watching the boys in front of her and trying hard not to look too upset. Remus was sitting at the kitchen table, stock-still. This was too close to home for him and it brought up memories from the previous summer. James was pacing… waiting for confirmation.
"Okay. I just spoke with Moody. Lily and Petunia are alive." Now that Mr. Potter was in the kitchen, Mrs. Potter felt able to let down her guard somewhat. On hearing the news, she felt relief, but also great sadness. How many more children would be killed or left parentless because of this madman and his crusade? What kind of future was in store for her own son? Her eyes filled with tears, though she tried to hold them back, and she rushed forward to the two boys, giving them each a hug in turn.
"She was going to visit Gillette – skiing," James said somewhat weakly. Relief washed over him at his father's words and, after his mum hugged him, he plopped into a seat at the table. Looking over at Remus, he asked, "You okay?"
Remus nodded, but didn't say anything.
Sirius had to go as soon as he found out about the article, and so didn't know that Lily was still alive. "We have to tell Sirius."
"He's not getting any letters," Remus finally spoke.
"What?" Mr. Potter asked.
Mrs. Potter nodded. "It's true. All of the owls have been sent back. I finally received a letter from Mrs. Black ordering me to stop writing. I'm surprised she sent them back actually, figured she'd just burn them. Probably wanted me to know he wasn't getting them…" her voice trailed off.
"Can we go to the funeral?" James asked, interrupting her train of thought.
"Yes, of course, dear."
The next few days went by quickly, with letters being sent to several people, trying to find ways to keep Sirius in the loop, and finding out where the funeral was going to be held. The Potters and Remus attended the funeral, as did Peter, his mum and John. Actually, a decent number of Hogwarts students and their families showed up to offer their support. It created a few awkward and even humorous moments as the wizard and muggle cultures came together with some confusion about traditions but, over all, the atmosphere was one of somber support and understanding.
James noticed that, at the funeral, Lily seemed very much alone. For how close the sisters had been, he wondered why Petunia wasn't comforting her. Petunia, instead, leaned heavily on whom James assumed was Vernon Dursley, who cast a wary eye on any wizard who dared get too close to them. James was also selfishly, though silently, pleased to see that Lily had not turned to Hayden for support.
Lily sat straight backed and very still in her chair throughout the service. She had the same dazed look that Remus had worn the previous summer. After the service, James walked up to where Lily sat. The red of her eyes only accentuated the green as she raised them look at James. He knelt in front of her and took her hands in his. "Lily… I'm really sorry. If there's anything I can do…" He really didn't know what to say. He hadn't known what to say when Remus' parents were killed. He didn't feel any more adequate now.
Lily nodded and looked down, effectively dismissing him. With a sigh, he stood up and kissed the top of her head before walking away. He found Remus standing, with his arm around Aden, next to Gillette and a few other girls from their year. They stood together for a while, talking about what they knew and how Lily had found out about what happened. Gillette mentioned that Petunia, in her grief, had said some pretty nasty things to Lily, but she hoped things would get better before summer, especially because Petunia was now Lily's guardian, since she was of legal age to take care of her.
The train ride back to school was rather subdued for the Marauders. Sirius asked to be filled in on everything. Remus remained silent, even excusing himself at one point, saying he was going to sit with Aden for a while.
Sirius asked James if he had had the opportunity to ask Mrs. Potter about occlumency.
"No. Why?" James volleyed a question back.
Sirius then launched into what had happened the night he'd returned from school – whom he'd met and what his father had said about learning occlumency. He kept some things to himself, feeling slightly childish for wanting so badly for his fathers words to mean he'd loved him all along, that he didn't want to share them and find out his father meant something else. "Don't worry about it, I'll just write mum and ask."
"Oh, speaking of," James handed Sirius a couple letters from his mum. "Mum wrote you, but apparently you weren't allowed post. So she wanted me to give you these."
Sirius sighed at just finding out his letters were being withheld, "Well, at least my mother didn't burn them."
At that comment James laughed. Seeing the expression on Sirius' face, he said, "Oh, sorry. That's what mum said – about burning them."
Sirius nodded. "Thanks," he said, giving the letters a slight wave.
At the feast which opened the spring term, the invitation was once again given for the students to talk with staff or prefects. A Hufflepuff prefect even stood up and mentioned she was starting a group for students who had lost loved ones and wanted to sit and talk about what was going on. Once back in the common room, many students had started working on classwork right away. The long train ride had allowed them to catch up on news, but it didn't feel right to break the quiet that had settled over everything. So students did work or went to bed.
Gillette came down the stairs from her dorm and sat between Stacey and Sirius on the couch, the rest of the Marauders in their usual places. Remus was staring into the fire again.
"How is she?" James asked.
Gillette shook her head and looked down at her hands. "Not good. Remus?" Remus shifted his gaze from the fire to Gillette. "Could you talk to her?"
"What?" Remus was startled out of his reverie. "Why me?"
"Because you lost your parents, too. You know better than the rest of us what she's going through. Will you?" Gillette pleaded.
Remus glanced over at James, who nodded his approval. "If she wants to talk, I'll listen. But not before she's ready."
Gillette leaned forward and patted Remus' knee. "Thank you."
Remus nodded, then announced he was going to bed. James and Peter followed, which meant Stacey left soon after.
Sirius settled back on the couch, his arm draped over the back, waiting for Gillette to settle in with him. He grinned slightly. "She has a crush on James doesn't she?"
"Huh? Oh. Stacey. Yeah."
"It's a lost cause…"
Gillette chuckled lightly. "I know. I've tried to tell her."
When Gillette stayed sitting forward, Sirius put his hand on her back. "Gillette? What's wrong?" She tensed and actually seemed to compress in on herself. It took a moment for Sirius to realize she was crying. He sat up and shifted so he was facing her. "Gill, what is it?"
She took a moment to stop crying, then turned to face him. "I feel so selfish," she started.
"Why?" he dried her tears with his thumbs, and brushed her hair out of her face.
"Lily… she's heartbroken. She's lost her parents… and all I can think is – I'm glad Lily was with us. I'm glad that wasn't my parents… and… I'm terrified." Sirius drew Gillette into a hug, wrapping himself around her protectively. "They're killing muggle-borns and half-bloods. It could easily have been my parents… my family. So I'm glad. How terrible of a friend am I?"
"You're not a bad friend. You love your family. Be grateful. Be grateful they're still alive. Let it help you appreciate them more. But that doesn't make you a bad friend, because I know you would never wish this on Lily – or anyone. You didn't ask for it to be them – her. Did you?" Gillette shook her head. "Help her. Be there for her. But don't feel guilty."
They sat there for a while, Sirius keeping her wrapped in safety and comfort, then Gillette lifted her head. "I should probably go…"
"Mmm," was all Sirius said.
She rested her forehead against his chest and let out a small sigh. "I don't want to."
Sirius lifted her head. "Then don't." He kissed her lightly, though this time intentionally. They both grinned slightly , and settled down on the couch to sleep.
The next morning, Sirius heard a snicker and quiet footsteps approach the couch from behind. Without opening his eyes, he growled, "Don't even think about it."
This woke up Gillette, who raised her head. She squealed, causing Sirius' eyes to pop open. He saw a water bucket floating above the two of them and immediately grabbed Gillette in his arms and rolled, quite ungracefully, to the floor. This slightly painful fall was quickly followed by ice-cold water pouring onto his back. Despite being tall and well-built for his age, he wasn't huge, which meant he wasn't able to completely shield Gillette from the water and she screamed as some of it splashed her as well. Fortunately for everyone, Gillette was a morning person with a love for good pranks. She took one look at Sirius' face and dripping hair and burst out laughing.
"Well. That's the last time I try to save the damsel in distress," Sirius muttered. Hopping to his feet, he turned on his victims – a wildly laughing James and Remus. Peter looked too tired to have done anything. Actually he looked too tired to know what was going on, so Sirius assumed his innocence in the attack. Sirius launched himself over the couch he had just vacated. James and Remus took off in opposite directions. He caught Remus as he retreated back up the stairs. Pulling out his wand, he hexed Remus with hair that sprouted from his nose and ears, then he turned to his next target, who had just slipped out the portrait hole.
James figured he'd take sanctuary in the very public and teacher-filled Great Hall, so he ran. What followed was a rather magnificent chase with leaping of banisters, sliding down rails, grabbing corners so that the skid of trying to stop became a turn down a new corridor and running could continue. Despite Sirius' longer stride, James proved the quicker of the two, at least enough to keep out of Sirius' reach. James crashed through the Great Hall doors, making most of the early risers jump at the unexpected noise, and walked speedily to the Gryffindor table. Sirius, however, finally able to catch James, slid onto the bench next to him and pinned him between himself and a first-year on James' other side.
"Good morning, James," Sirius said with a far too large grin. "Would you like some water?" And without waiting for an answer, Sirius reached for the pitcher with ice-cooled water. "Here, allow me." He then manhandled James so that his head was forced forward while pulling back on the neck of his robes, and Sirius poured the water – ice and all – down the back of James' robes.
James performed a rather impressive wriggly dance with his back arched from the cold and his arms flailing out to the sides. He nearly knocked the first year to the floor.
Professor McGonagall calmly walked up to the boys. Shaking her head slightly, she said, simply, "Detention tomorrow. Both of you." And continued on her way.
Remus, who looked very much like himself again, and Peter arrived with both Sirius' and James' school books. Taking in the state of James clothes and hair, they started laughing, which, in turn, started Sirius and James laughing as well.
They heard a glass being set forcefully onto the table. When they looked toward the noise, they saw Lily get up and agitatedly speedwalk out of the Great Hall.
James followed her. "Evans. Evans, wait up." He finally caught up to her on the stairs leading from the Entrance Hall to the Gryffindor section of the castle. Grabbing her arm and spinning her to face him, he noticed she had started crying. "Evans, what is it? What did I do now?"
"Nothing. And why do you assume it has anything to do with you?" she answered angrily, as she wiped her eyes.
"Well, you weren't upset until we started laughing, so… what did we do?"
"Nothing! It's just…"
"What?" he asked gently.
"It just isn't fair!" Lily burst out. She covered her mouth as if she hadn't meant to speak.
"What?" James was thoroughly confused.
Speaking much quieter, Lily said, "It just isn't fair. Life isn't supposed to just… go on. People shouldn't be laughing." Looking back up at James, anger in her eyes and voice. "People are dying! And I'm not just talking about my p… my parents. Others too. But life just goes on. And I can't… just…" her voice hitched and she started crying again.
James had no idea what to say, so he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. "I'm sorry, Lily."
After a few moments, she sniffed and stepped back. "Yeah, me too."
James watched as she jogged up the stairs back to their common room.
Over time, life did just go on and things settled close to normal at the school. But with the increasing reports of deaths – not just students and their families, but other half-bloods and squibs were being targeted as well – while the laughter eventually came back to the school, it was tempered with foreboding. The world was becoming darker, and the students were having a harder time holding on to their innocence and blissful ignorance.
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A/N - I know, I know. I'm late again. And I don't even have a good excuse this time. Very sorry. But thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter (I will respond to y'all. I promise). You guess keep me going - with the writing. :) Thank you. Thank you also to my awesome editors and beta - Mom, mei mei, and J.A. Carlton. Lots of love.
