Alright! In a landslide ten to two victory, Option B shall be implicated! Hope you guys are ready for sum steamy scenes!
Zelda: Link…?
Link: …
EHEHEMUEEEHEE
Link was honestly impressed at how rough the goddess's grip was on his arm as she paraded him through the hall of her ridiculously complex palace. He didn't know that a lady in heels and a dress could walk so fast, either. He was having trouble keeping up, tripping over his own boots time and time again. The occasional passing Centurion would give the pair the strangest look as they trudged on by.
Palutena had the goofiest smile plastered onto her face. Link took that as a bad sign.
It seemed like forever before the goddess had finally anchored herself and the hero in front of a pair of titanic, golden doors. There was an inscription carved into the framework, but it wasn't in any language that Link could recognize. Two massive owl statues stood guard on either side of the entrance.
"Miss Palutena…" he said, taking care to respect her this time, "what is…"
She didn't give him an answer. Instead, she wedged the doors open. She gave a quick glance around, as if she was afraid someone would see them. As soon as she ascertained their privacy, she roughly grabbed Link by the shoulders, startling him.
"M-Miss!" He choked, taken aback.
She only gave him a crazy grin. With a wild look in her eyes, she flung the hero inside, swiftly following behind.
It was pitch black in the chamber as soon as the doors shut. Link squinted his eyes, trying to rapidly adjust to the darkness. He could hear Palutena moving about the room, as the little charms and jewels on her dress chimed with every move. He heard what sounded like something sliding across a table.
"Miss? Where'd-"
Suddenly her hot breath was in his ear.
"…Liiiiiiiiiiinnk…" She whined, almost playfully.
The hero whipped around to find the goddess, dimly illuminated by a little ball of green-tinted light resting in her right hand. A sharp chill ran through his spine.
Palutena's face wasn't as composed as it had been earlier. A few hairs had fallen down into her eyes, and her crown was slightly askew. Her bottom lip was bit under a row of pearly white teeth, and there was a hot blush on her cheeks.
Link's breath caught in his throat. He'd never really examined her this up close and personal before, but now that he had, he was beginning to see why Pit never seemed to stop talking about her.
The chick was a knockout. The thin, milky dress she wore clung ravenously to every slender curve her well-toned body possessed, just itching to be pulled and tugged at. Her body was voluptuously crafted, thinly cut and tightly built, with a fair bit of volume where it counted. It was honestly difficult to find a spot on her that didn't have some kind of flashy, glittering charm, cooperating with her creamy skin tone to expose her natural beauty.
Her complexion was masterfully shaped. Going up from her elegant collarbones, you could see she had a deliciously slender neck and a clean, pointed chin. Her lips were a tantalizing shade of cherry, playfully concealing a newly energetic tongue that keep peeking out at Link. Her nose was diminutive, almost adorably so, and her skin was simply flawless. The glimmering emerald of her captivating irises could practically hypnotize, ensnaring any who were caught in her gaze and rendering eye lock inescapable.
Or at least, it would have, but Link was having a harder time trying not to stare at her breasts.
The click of her heel echoed a few times as she took a step forward.
"Link…" She whispered again, breath heavy in her tone, "…there's something I've been wanting to show you for such a long time…"
The hero summoned the power of the Triforce of Courage and managed to say something.
"O-oh?"
She nodded her head, snuggling up even closer. She raised her hands and rested them on his chest, driving him wild. Link was glad that the room was so dark, because his face must have been as red as a tomato.
She looked up at him, the blush on her cheeks growing ever hotter.
"You see, I've always wanted to do something like this, with someone else…but there was never anyone I could do it with…"
She pushed even further into him. Hands weren't the only deliciously soft thing Link could feel on his chest anymore. He was about to explode.
"…it's not anyone's fault…but I have to keep a sense of authority with the Centurions…and Pit…he's still too young…"
Link's brain burst into flames. What did she mean "too young"?! Too young for what?! And wasn't he like a thousand years old or something?
Her hands slithered up around his neck, clasping together behind his head and locking the two together. Her eyes poured into his, begging and pleading to give her what she undeniably desired. Link, overwhelmed, began to retreat, but instantly his back found a wall. His eyes widened. She had him pinned.
The panicked look that flashed across the hero's face made the goddess smile almost diabolically.
"Please…" She begged him, "…please…."
Palutena came in for the killshot, pushing herself into Link with one final thrust. Now she had up against the wall, hardly giving him room to move or even breathe, for that matter. She delighted in the sense of helplessness he was giving off. She loved it.
Link wouldn't admit it, but he did to.
The hero shook his head. He couldn't be thinking these thoughts! What would Zelda say if she walked in right now, like she tended to do whenever situations like these arose? What would she do? How would she feel? He couldn't just betray her like that…
He looked back down.
Well…
Link certainly was never one to turn a blind eye to a damsel in distress. And here, this literal goddess was just throwing herself at him, it seemed like a crime to just put it all to an end. Goddesses did seem to have a thing for him. So, keeping his mouth shut for once, he nodded his head, giving the girl a green light.
Palutena's grin stretched for miles.
She took a deep breath.
"Thank you…hero…"
She retracted one of her hands from behind Link's head. She brought it down to her dress's crop, and began fingering the lining. Link drew a sharp breath.
"Well?" She serenated, "…are you ready?" The playful glint in her eye was driving Link wild.
He bit his lip, his eyes fiercely locked onto the goddess, and with the world's hottest blush scorching his cheeks, he nodded again.
Palutena took a heavy sigh, letting her hot, moist breath to roll along the Hero's chest as she tugged ever so slowly on her dress…
…
…
Link's eyes were fried as all the lights in the library burst to life. He could hardly make out the goddess as her hand delved into her dress and pulled out some worn, old book. She cracked the covers and flipped a couple pages, then shoved the thing in the Hero's face.
"See?"
Dazed and horribly confused, Link desperately tried to focus his eyes to the book's pages. There was a photo, he could see somewhat fuzzily, of Palutena herself, sitting in what looked like a bar with three other women.
"Well? You recognize them, don't you?"
Finally gathering his bearings, Link took the book into his shaky hands and held it at a better distance from his eyes. Each of the other women had a striking necklace on, each depicting the different crests of Farore, Din, and Nayru…
"…no way…" He sputtered.
Palutena snatched up the book and gave Link another one of her absurdly cheery grins.
"That's right! All those goddesses you worship are nothing more than alcoholic whores!"
Link looked appalled.
The goddess giggled.
"Just kidding. But yes, I frequent the surface with these three quite often. We divines have to get to know each other, you know, because there aren't really that many of us."
She opened the book again and flipped to the picture. She placed a finger on Din.
"THIS one right here is a complete riot when she's drunk. She's always yelling about how her Triforce is the better of the three, or something."
Her hand moved to Nayru.
I've also been told that she has an entire shrine dedicated to you, Link. Like, one of those creepy stalker shrines. But they're only pictures of Toon Link, for some reason. Maybe she's kinky for that kind of stuff, I dunno."
Link's eyes grew a little wider.
Palutena's hand moved to Farore.
"Oh yeah, her. Farore can't drive worth shit. Like, honestly, she's probably just messing with us, but the first and only time we made her the designated driver she ran Din's car up a pole. She gets to drink every time we go out now, the lucky skank."
Link had to admit, hearing all these vile words out of a goddess's mouth was a little disturbing. Not to mention that his and his world's entire faith was just flipped on its ass.
Palutena snapped the book shut.
"So there you have it! That's what I wanted to show you. I figured you'd want to know a little more about your goddesses other than the fact that they ask a lot of favors from you."
She looked back to the Hero after she had slid the book back into the case. He looked like he had just watched Armageddon unfold.
"What's with the face?" Palutena asked cheerfully, already knowing the answer to her question.
It took Link a few seconds just to get air back into his lungs.
"…what…" He managed to say, "…what was all…?"
Palutena giggled. Link was REALLY starting to get sick of that giggle.
"Oh, all that? Dramatic effect. I like a little flair whenever I present something."
She put her hand on her hips and leaned in close.
"What did YOU think we were doing?"
After THAT ordeal, Palutena eventually led a somewhat shameful, somewhat disappointed Link back through the labyrinth-like halls of her palace, this time strolling into the viewing fountain room, where Pit was waiting with Ike, Zelda, Peach, and Samus.
They all looked like they had been in a car explosion.
"Heavens, what happened to you four?!" Palutena asked, adopting a caring, motherly tone that Link now knew was complete bullshit.
Pit gave a nervous grin.
"I kinda let them test-drive one of the Juggernauts…and there was a technical failure…"
The goddess sighed.
"Oh well. I'm sure you did everything you could to make sure that no one else was hurt. But!"
She raised a finger, flashing a devilish grin.
"…I'm going to have to punish you thoroughly later…"
For WHATEVER the fucking reason, Pit grinned.
Link's eyes grew ever larger.
Palutena clapped her hands.
"Anyway! I'm glad you're all assembled here. I've devised a plan to overthrow Master Hand and get Smash Manor up and running again. It's simple, it's straightforward, and if we play our cards right, there's no way we can lose. If you'll all direct your attention to the viewing fountain-"
"Were you doing pervy stuff with Link?" Zelda blurted out of nowhere.
The goddess's expression was priceless.
Link almost passed out.
Palutena cleared her throat.
"Why, no dear, w-whatever would have given you that idea?"
The princess shrugged.
The goddess coughed as Link managed not to die laughing. She looked back down to the fountain.
"…a-as I was saying, here's the plan. I'm going to challenge Master Hand to something we divines call an RC Game-"
"So you're gonna race little cars around on the floor?" Ike interrupted her.
Link couldn't hold back his laughter this time.
"NO!" Palutena exclaimed. "RC stands for Reality Chess game! What I'm going to do is play against Master Hand in a chess match using living, breathing chess pieces."
She pointed at the Smashers.
"That's you."
"WHAT?" Came a collective shout.
Palutena straightened her crown and reiterated.
"I need all of your cooperation for this. Trust me, if we just charge in there, thinking that we're going to just swat down a deity and his army of brainwashed superpowered Smashers, we're going to have our asses handed to us. This way, we can meet them on an even playing field."
Zelda spoke up.
"Alright, if that's really true, then how does it work?"
Palutena cleared her throat. She stirred up the waters in the fountain, displaying what looked like a chess board.
"Here's the deal: I'll challenge Master Hand to the game. He and I will be teleported to a particular special pocket in which-"
Samus let out a few soft moans. No one paid her much mind.
"-there's nothing more than a room with two chairs and a chess board. Meanwhile, you all will be teleported to whatever battleground that Master Hand decides, as he will be the one to be challenged. You'll each represent a specific chess piece, and will be given additional powers accordingly."
Samus moaned a little louder. Everyone turned to look at her. She was squirming around quite oddly.
Palutena sighed.
"Honestly boys, don't we have a better use for that cloaking technology?"
Two Centurions suddenly appeared around Samus, and quietly removed their hands from her breasts. Pit promptly dismissed them.
The goddess coughed.
"Anyway, while you're on the field, I'll control your actions by moving the pieces on the chessboard."
She got a couple cringes in return. She smiled.
"Don't worry, I won't brainwash you. I'll simply tell you what to do via telepathy while I'm making your moves."
She paused.
"Replicas of Master Hand and myself will be on the field as well, representing our respective kings. If we can checkmate and defeat Master Hand, the rules of the RC game state that the loser must do whatever the winner commands. I'll use that opportunity to set all of your fellow Smashers free."
She stirred up the fountain again, showing a roster of all the people that Master Hand had entranced.
"There is one problem, however. Given Master Hand's recently expanded staff, he now has a full set of RC pieces to command, a grand total of sixteen, with a good few left over."
She glanced up.
"With our current numbers, we only have seven. Myself included. We're outnumbered and underpowered to take on such a fight as this."
Zelda donned her royal, princessy tactician face, putting a hand to her chin and stepping up to the viewing fountain.
"Then what do you propose we do? The only way back into our own individual realms is by way of the spatial transit room inside Smash Manor. We can't call anyone for help." She stated matter-of-factly.
Palutena giggled. EVERYONE was really starting to get sick of that giggle by now.
"That, my little princess, is where you are wrong. Master Hand may control dimensional travel to each of your own realms, but what if we called for help from new realms altogether?"
Zelda perked up.
"You can do that?"
Palutena waved at her.
"Of course, sweetie! They don't call me a goddess for nothing, you know!"
They really shouldn't…Link thought to himself.
The goddess gestured for everyone to follow her out of the room.
"Come along, now! We can't pull new allies out of thin air from just anywhere, now, can we?"
After another mile long trek through the jungle of a palace (seriously how has no one ever gotten lost in here) the group arrived at another small octagonal chamber. However, this one had a summoning circle in place of a viewing fountain and some sort of control mechanism sitting at its front. Palutena spilt the Smashers into two groups and placed them on opposite sides of the room, while she took command of the strange device.
"Alright now, everyone, if you're all ready, I'd like to begin. The way this will work is I'll scan a random dimension for a single being with power levels similar to yours, and I will extract them and bring them into the middle of the summoning circle. It's going to be your job to move them out of the summoning ring before I summon the next one."
Her gaze darkened a little.
"Trust me, it gets ugly if you don't."
The gadget before her sprung to life, emanating a little glow that expanded into a few light circles ascending a few inches into the air.
Wiggling her fingers, Palutena reared back her arm.
"Is everyone ready? Any questions?"
Link spoke up.
"Yeah, actually, how long do you-"
"PERFECT! OFF WE GO!"
Link bit his lip irritatedly as Palutena plunged her hand into the circles, which formed what seemed like a net made out of light. She fished around in the net for a little while, tongue protruding from her mouth determinedly. After a few seconds, her eyebrows jumped.
"GOT ONE!" She shouted.
She yanked her hand back as her as she could, pulling a little orb of light out of the net. In an instant, the summoning circle flashed brilliantly, forcing everyone to shield their eyes.
When the light subsided, a small, blue boy could be seen standing almost robotically in the center, his face as blank as a stone and steam rising off his head. His right arm looked like a cannon of some sort.
Ike was the first to approach. He took a few steps towards the boy, and began to shake a hand in front of his face. When he got no reaction, he glanced at Palutena.
The goddess shrugged back at him.
The mercenary sighed and tried to lift the boy off the circle.
The second his hand made contact, the boy snapped to life, deafening sirens wailing out of him. He smacked Ike's hand back and began firing pellet-like lasers out of his arm all over the room.
"DANGER! DANGER! UNKOWN REALITY SHIFT! ALERT!"
Everyone hit the dirt.
The robot continued to haphazardly blast the room, screeching like a frightened lemur. Samus finally got close enough to put a Paralyzer blast in his head after about fifteen minutes of that nonsense. The boy clattered to the ground, and then silence.
Everyone slowly stood up, the sizzle of freshly scorched wall hissing in their ears.
Palutena sighed.
"Oh well. There's always a few bad apples in the bunch."
What's that? Was that maybe…MEGA MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN?
Mega Man: No.
Yeah, I think that this'll be how I implement the newcomers to Smash Bros into the story. The idea of the whole RC game may seem sort of convoluted, but it's actually derived from an anime that I really like. For those of you who are curious and for those of you that may sue me if I don't put this, it's from Highschool DxD. Don't watch that show if you don't want to see…er…if you're under 16.
So, Mega Man, welcome to a Smash Bros Summer!
Mega Man: Good to be here.
Right now we're in the press box, where me and a few of the other Smashers talk about how the story went, as well as ongoing events in my life and other things that people could hardly give a shit about. What do you think?
Mega Man: Yeah, er, why, again, is there so much feces in here?
…
Mega Man: And why do I get the feeling that this story is become less and less about summer?
…er…
Mega Man: And is that fire extinguisher fluid on your face?
…n-no…?
Palutena: I got it.
*poop and fire extinguisher fluid magically vanishes*
Thanks, P-dog.
Palutena: *puts on sunglasses* No prob, homes.
Yeah, blah blah blah, author's notes…
Sorry I've been gone for so long. I've had so little free time now, even though it's summer, all because I got a part time job in order to…
…wait for it…
*deep breath*
BUY A WII U! SMASH BROS 4 HERE I COME!
And that's not all I bought…
*leans in super fucking close to Toon Link*
Hey…hey Toon Link…
Toon Link: Oh no…
WE GOIN ON AN ADVENTURE! AVAST, THE HIGH SEAS AWAIT!
*Runs off into the sunset*
Zelda: Wind Waker HD?
Link: *nods*
Oh, and speaking of Link, I've noticed something. In all the Legend of Zelda games, Link never truly says anything except for his shouts and grunts. But in this story, he's one of our most talkative characters. Maybe I should do one chapter where all the characters actually act like they do in their games. Link could only speak in shouts. Dunno, could be cool.
Man, Palutena's a scumbag. Oh well, she's always teasing Pit in Kid Icarus Uprising, so I figure having her character like this will suit her. Tell me what you guys think.
Speaking of, Skyworld is fucked up. Like seriously, reading over this thing, I couldn't imagine that living there would be pleasant. Maybe I went a bit too far…
…nah…
Oh, and one more thing. Some people asked in the reviews about how to get to the monthly poll, so I'll tell you. Just click on my author name up at the top of this story, and it'll take you right to my profile. The poll is right up at the top. Not that there's going to be any more monthly polls, but I think I'll just leave the one I have up. I'm not very good at this whole "persistence" thing.
Anyway, that's about it. Please, tell me what you think in the reviews! And, if you want, please fave and follow! We just broke 30,000 views, by the way! Amazing, guys! Keep 'em coming!
That's all from me! Peace out!
-Mohawkman2233
