"So, uh...how exactly does this thing work?" Dipper asked to himself, still clutching the Golden Wiper in his hand. After a few failed attempts to find some sort of button or switch, he decided to go through the teacher's bag in hopes of some sort of instructions, despite his inner cringing about the fact that the bag was covered in pink slime.

"Ah, bingo." Dipper exclaimed, snapping his fingers as seemingly by fate he found a booklet with big bold letters on it reading GOLDEN WIPER INSTRUCTION MANUAL hanging out of the bag. He pulled the booklet out and flipped through it a bit before reading a select section of it out loud.

"Think of what you want erased in your mind's eye, and the Golden Wiper will make it so. So I just...think of it? Do both of us think of it? What do you think, Mabel? Mabel?"

Dipper waved his hand in front of Mabel, who was seemingly still in shock from the events that had just occurred.

"He just seemed so nice..." Mabel muttered to herself, placing her hands on her face and letting out a groan. "I feel so stupid for letting myself get in that situation."

"You're not stupid, Mabel." Dipper insisted to his sister, placing his hand on her shoulder. "If it makes you feel any better, I think I can use this thing to erase your memories so that-"

"No." Mabel fiercely replied, cutting off her brother. "I don't want to forget this lesson, Dipper. Keep my memories. But you're definitely going to erase the memories of all those traumatized girls out there."

"Huh?" Dipper asked, confused for a second before his mind flashed back to the girls who were trying to break in before. He must've tuned them out at some point. Looking over at the door, he heard some faint weeping and a few girls whispering in scared tones to each other. "Oh, yeah, definitely."

Deciding to give the Golden Wiper a shot, Dipper closed his eyes and thought hard about what he wanted it to do.

Let's see...I can't reverse or cause death with this thing, but...can I make it so no one ever existed? If so, I wish everyone except for Mabel and I forgot that Mr. West ever existed. Yeah, that should be good.

When Dipper opened his eyes again, he saw that the pink slime was gone. The girls outside of the door had disappeared. He looked around for the bag he had gotten the Golden Wiper out of it, but it was nowhere to be found.

Finally, he looked at his own hand. The Golden Wiper was gone.

"I guess it makes sense that if Mr. West never existed, you wouldn't have the Golden Wiper." Mabel observed.

"Yeah, I guess so." Dipper replied, heading towards the door. "A bit of a shame though, that thing could've been useful in the future."

"Where are you going?" Mabel questioned, standing up and rubbing her eyes a bit before beginning to move in her brother's direction.

"I'm gonna use the restroom real fast before we head home."

"Alright, I'll be waiting outside." Mabel told her brother, as they opened the classroom door and headed in opposite directions.


As Dipper entered the boy's restroom of Gravity High and did his business, his mind pondered what a crazy day it had been. There really was no way to just be normal in Gravity Falls, was there?

Alright, from here on out, this day's gonna be totally normal. Dipper thought to himself, flushing and turning to wash his hands. However, he quickly caught a glimpse of something seemingly smeared on purpose on one of the mirrors above the sink.

I shouldn't...

Dipper couldn't resist the urge. He investigated the red smear as he washed his hands. After staring at it for a couple of seconds, he could tell it was trying to spell something. This something appeared to start with a "be", written in all capital letters.

Be...beef? No, it didn't look like "beef". Beaming? No, that wasn't it either...finally, Dipper managed to make the connection in his head as to what the smearing read.

BEWARE.

That wasn't normal. For a split second, Dipper thought about running out of the bathroom and telling his sister of the message.

However, this time he didn't let his eager Sherlock Holmes side win. Normal. This day was going to be normal from here on out.

"Probably just some stupid vandalism." Dipper tried to convince himself, muttering as he left the bathroom.


The next day was fairly uneventful. There was a new English teacher, an older woman who was very strict about cursive writing of all things. Most of the students didn't seem to like her, but Dipper still thought that she was better then the weird British schoolgirl fetishist vampire.

Not that any of them knew about him.

A lot of kids were looking forward to club signups after school - unfortunately, Dipper had already been roped into an unfortunate commitment on the first day. A girl who called herself "Pearl" had yanked him by the ear and ordered him, right then and there, to sign up for the Paranormal Club.

That kind of club actually sounded right up Dipper's alley, but he didn't enjoy being forced to join it. Not only that, but Pearl had also forced him to buy her a pink lemonade and help organize a bunch of miscellaneous papers she wouldn't let him peek at.

Finally, she told him that the first meeting was going to be at three-thirty, the same date and time as club signups, so that "all the normal people would be distracted." This girl had issues.

Dipper pondered skipping as he stood in front of his locker after last period.

SLAM!

In the blink of an eye, Dipper's locker slammed and he was being yanked by the ear by none other then Pearl - it was almost like she could read his mind.

"Hey, what the-"

"You were going to be late!" Pearl shouted, refusing to let go of Dipper as he looked on in embarrassment at the kids staring at him while he was dragged to the clubroom.

When they finally reached the room, Dipper got an angry tone in his voice. "Alright, I don't know who you think you are, but we need to establish some boundaries-"

Dipper cut himself off and did a double take when he saw who else was in the room.

"Candy?" Dipper questioned, making eye contact with the black-haired girl.


A/N: Why do I have the feeling Dipper's interest level in Paranormal Club skyrocketed to the Moon once he saw Candy was in the club? We'll find out more next chapter!

(Speaking of skyrocketing to the Moon, if you love wacky comedy, I'm going to briefly promote the anime/manga Assassination Classroom here. It is totally amazeballs, the first episode of the anime just premiered and the first volume of the manga was just released in English. If you love wacky comedy, you'll love this series. The sensei actually reminds me of Bill Cipher a bit.)

As usual, if you liked this chapter, please R&R. It'd really make my day. See you all next time!