Trigger warning


Days had passed and Hiro roamed around the house, bored. He had tried to help Aunt Cass around the cafe, but she insisted that she had in covered. So he stayed in his room mostly, tinkering. He worked on Megabot, trying to upgrade his magnetic attraction for quicker action. "If Tadashi were here," he said to himself, "he'd know exactly how to fix it." He stopped, his eyes locked on the bot's stupid smiling face. Suddenly, he threw it against the wall. It broke into three even pieces. He couldn't take it anymore.

Hiro pulled a small box cutter out of the drawer in his nightstand. Taking a deep breath, holding it in, he glided the blade over the frail skin of his wrist. A fat crimson line bubbled, then spilled down his arm. Tension in his stomach instantly released. He closed his eyes and let out his breath. Somehow, this had become his relief.

Twenty-three, he counted to himself. Twenty-three red lines across his arm. They started at his palm and ended just below his wrist. Sometimes, he didn't cut. He bit his thumb sometimes, keeping himself from breaking down. A small indent was starting at the fleshy base of his thumb. Pain had become his escape. To just focus on one small clean line in his arm. Nothing else existed. Just him and the sting of what he had done to himself. Sometimes, he even played a game. How slow could he go before he couldn't take it.

"Hiro?" he heard a voice in the stairwell. Aunt Cass!

"Uh... yeah? What?" Hiro answered, scrambling to put away his blade and hide his battle scars.

"I'm making dinner now. Why don't you come down and join me?" she enticed.

"Oh. That's okay, Aunt Cass. I'm not really that hungry," he said, turning away. Partly true.

"You haven't been eating, sweetie. You should really get something in your belly."

"I said I'm FINE!" Hiro suddenly exclaimed. He turned his head towards his aunt. He saw her eyes watering up.

"Okay, hun." she said. "Come down if you change your mind.." With that, she turned and went back downstairs. Hiro could hear her sniffle a bit. Way to go, bonehead, he could almost hear Tadashi say with disappointment. Hiro hung his head and wrapped his arms around himself. He began to wonder if Aunt Cass would be better off without him. "Too bad she got stuck with me instead of Tadashi," he whispered.

That thought clung to his mind for hours. Why did he have to be so quick tongued? Why couldn't he do anything right? Why did he live when clearly everyone loved Tadashi so much more? Hiro couldn't think straight anymore. He considered going to the blade again, but that was just a pity party for himself. It wouldn't help anything. Especially not Aunt Cass.

Hiro glanced at the window. The San Fransokyo city was abuzz. He could easily sneak out without Aunt Cass noticing. Hiro logged onto his computer and looked up bot fights nearby. Luckily, there was one about a mile away. Easily reachable on foot, he thought. Picking up his newly fixed Megabot, he crept down the steps into the living room. He listened carefully. He could hear Aunt Cass in her room, breathing deeply. Sleeping, he thought, good. With that, he went down another flight of stairs and out the door.

Trotting, Hiro escaped his boredom in the city. He slowed down when he was six blocks away from his home. He wondered if his aunt had noticed. A pit began to form in his stomach. If she did, would she come looking for him? He checked his watch. 12:53am it read. Crap, he thought, it's almost time. He picked up his pace and started to run. He ran for eight more blocks and saw he was approaching the abandoned house where they held tonight's fight. But he kept running. Faster and faster. "It doesn't matter," he said out loud. "Nothing matters. Nothing."

He kept running for miles, dodging people and traffic. He was almost there. The bridge he and Tadashi had always crossed on the way to school. Not the Golden Gate Bridge. But a large one. He ran right until he was in the center. Hiro gripped the bar and peered over the ledge. The water was so far. He closed his eyes. Letting a tear escape, he leaned forward


I was listening to the song "I'm With You" by Avril when this scene popped into my head. The song really inspired this and the next chapter. As always, much love!