Hiro lay in bed staring at the clock. He hadn't moved from that position for some hours. Aunt Cass had bid him goodnight around 11, but Hiro gave himself two extra hours to make sure he was safe. The clock read 12:48. Twelve minutes, he said to himself. He sighed and blinked slowly, keeping his eyes closed just long enough pull a memory from the back of his head. Tadashi had just gotten his driver's license and was begging Aunt Cass to let him take the truck for a spin. Hiro was almost twelve.

"Please, Aunt Cass!" he begged. "I promise I won't damage it. I'll follow all the speed limits and I won't park stupidly. Please!"

"Hmm," his aunt considered. "Alright. On one condition."

"Anything!"

"You take your brother with you. You've been busy so much. I'm sure he misses you."

"But Aunt Cass! Hiro doesn't even like sports."

"That is my condition. Unless you want to take the bus." Aunt Cass smirked over her shoulder at him as she walked away. She knew she had won. She tossed the keys to him. "No speeding! Be safe."

"Hiro!" Tadashi called to his brother from the stairs. "We're going somewhere. Come on."

"Where we going?" Hiro asked excitedly.

"Somewhere. Come on. I was supposed to be there already."

"I don't like being in the dark, Tadashi." Hiro lowered his head, but kept eye contact.

"Fine," Tadashi gave in. "We're going to a San Fransokyo Ninjas game. Happy?"

"Really?" Hiro jumped up and grabbed his hoodie.

"Yeah. Come on. I don't want to get crap seats." Tadashi went downstairs. Hiro heard him start the truck outside. He ran down the steps and into Aunt Cass.

"Oomph," he made a noise at impact, almost knocking his aunt over. Along with a tray of coffee. "Sorry, Aunt Cass! I was just over excited. I'll try to remember to slow down." She hugged him with her free arm.

"It's fine, sweetie. Just go. I hope you have fun. Last hug!" she said as she pulled him close again. Hiro grinned and went outside. Tadashi was in the truck, music vibrating through the blue metal. Hiro got in the passenger side and buckled himself in. He was almost bouncing on the seat he was so excited. Tadashi almost never spent time with him anymore. He was almost a senior in high school, so he was busy with that. That and his own friends. But nothing could ruin today. Tadashi grinned at Hiro. "Ready?" he said.

"Ready..." Hiro mumbled, opening his eyes. He was back at home. Alone. He sat up in bed and looked at the clock. 1 am on the dot. His two hours were up. Slowly, to make as little noise as possible, he opened his desk drawer and pulled a screwdriver out. He stepped over and picked up his pencil sharpener. Wedging the metal cover off of the base, he pulled out the rotating blade. With that, he crept to the bathroom silently.

Hiro was vibrating with anticipation. It had been so long. He pulled up his sleeve and held his breath. Placing the metal against his arm, he paused. He bit his lip and dragged the blade through. Red interrupted soft pale skin, then dripped down into his hand. This was much sharper than he'd imagined. So sharp, he almost didn't feel it. In fact he didn't. There was nothing.

"No.." he whispered, etching another tally mark in his skin. Then another. Nothing. He felt nothing. He'd gone so numb, even the escape he'd come to depend on left him with nothing. Silent tears fell into the bathroom sink along with blood. He pressed some toilet paper against his fresh wounds to stop the bleeding. Shaking, he leaned against the wall behind him, sliding down til he could rest his head on his knees.

He closed his eyes for a moment and heard the door open. He didn't bother opening his eyes. Aunt Cass' startled gasp was all he needed to process. He knew he was caught. He half expected her to yell at him. Or start to cry. But instead, she sat next to him and held out her hand. He took it, grateful for someone to be near him.

"I'm sorry," Hiro whispered.

"I know it's hard, Hiro. But you just can't turn to this. It's not good for you." Aunt Cass responded, pulling him into a hug. "What did you use?"

"This," Hiro held up the small metal blade. "I don't want to. I just.. I get so messed up sometimes. I don't want you to be disappointed in me. But it seems no matter what I do, where I go, chaos follows me and tries to destroy me. I guess that sounds like I'm crazy."

"You are a lot of things, Hiro Hamada. But you aren't crazy. You are brilliant, kind, sweet, thoughtful. And mine." she held him close. "But not crazy."

"I..." he stopped short, taken by tears. He didn't like letting Aunt Cass see him like this. But he let her hold him. She started to stroke his hair and hum. "I miss him so much.." Hiro said softly.

"I know, sweetheart. I do too." Aunt Cass rested her head on his. Together, they sat still like this and wept silently til sunlight spilled in brilliant gold beams through the skylight above them.


Can't tell you guys how much I love Aunt Cass. Hope you like it. Love!