Six weeks later:
Tommy watched with concern as Barbara picked at her breakfast. It was late Sunday morning and she had been the same yesterday. Her new job was a strain but he thought she had begun to settle into her role as DI. He pulled the toast from his 'expensive contraption' as she called his stainless steel toaster, and placed two pieces on her plate then stood behind her and embraced her. He softly kissed her neck then hung his head over her shoulder as she fed him a piece she had just buttered. "You'd tell me if something was troubling you, at work or with us?"
"Yeah, I'm just tired," she said turning to face him. She could see his fear and insecurity. "There's nothing wrong with us. I've even learnt to be tidier since I moved in and well...the sex is incredible."
Tommy laughed. "So you only want me for my body!" He had to agree, the sex was beyond anything he had ever experienced. It was as if their bodies had been crafted for each other. They had made love every day and the very thought of it made him want to repeat this morning right here in the kitchen.
"Among other things," she said before she kissed him.
Suddenly it dawned on him. They had made love for six weeks without any interruptions and now she was unable to eat in the mornings. He was strangely elated at the possibility but worried if she was bearing the burden alone. He cuddled her closer. "Are you pregnant Barbara?"
Barbara gasped. She had not even considered that possibility to explain her queasiness. "Oh God! I don't think so."
Tommy released her and she swung around to look at him. "We've been together just over six weeks and well...you haven't had your period and now you feel sick in the mornings," he said softly, "you might be."
Barbara found the conversation excruciatingly embarrassing even with Tommy being so considerate. Her face flushed crimson. "I've never been...regular. I can go about five to six weeks sometimes. Why are we talking about this? We've taken precautions."
"Not always. Not that first night."
"It was a calculated risk, it should have been fine," she said defensively.
"Nothing would have stopped us," he said gently. "Wouldn't it be nice to think that in that magic moment in front of the fire we conceived our first child? From an act of the purest love."
Barbara began to cry and wriggled free of his arms. She ran from the room. He had been so sweet and she had no idea why she was crying. She sat on the lounge and sobbed. It barely registered that Tommy had sat beside her until he handed her his handkerchief. "It's alright Barbara," he consoled as he put his arm around her and pulled her onto his chest.
"No, it's not. I didn't mean it. Everyone will think I trapped you. Is that what you think?"
"Of course not. No one else was here. Even if I had known I was going to inseminate you I would still have made love to you exactly that way. Others don't know what happened, how we felt right there and anyway I don't care. We don't even know if you are pregnant yet and all it changes is the wedding date."
"Inseminate me! You make me sound like one of your horses on some sort of selective breeding programme!" she shouted then began to sob again. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me! I shouldn't be like this."
Tommy smiled to himself. He was even more certain now. "It's a shock that's all and perhaps some hormonal changes. And I don't see you as breeding stock either."
"Great! And what will they sing at the wedding? 'Here comes the bride, fair fat and wide, see how she waddles from side to side! You won't even want to marry me."
Tommy could not help himself and started to laugh. "You're not a penguin Barbara! And yes, I want to marry you even more if you're carrying our child. Today would be perfect if I could arrange it. We wanted a quiet wedding so no one will sing anything like that because you will look beautiful. Besides we are jumping the gun. I think we had better go to the pharmacy first and check don't you?"
She nodded and composed herself. "Yeah, we are probably worrying about nothing. It might just be a tummy bug."
"Let's find out then." He stood and extended his hand.
Barbara took Tommy's hand. She felt a surge of nausea as she rose from the sofa and rushed to the bathroom with his almost smug call of 'I love you' ringing in her ears.
They sat in the car outside Boots debating who would go in. In the end it was Tommy and he returned with a small bag. "I bought three," he declared as he climbed back in.
"Three? Why?"
"I thought you would probably want to confirm it and then thought if they had different results we would need a third to break the deadlock."
Despite her predicament Barbara laughed at his faultless but overly anxious logic. "I love you."
"I know."
They sat quietly as he drove home, both stealing surreptitious glances at the other. Tommy was as nervous as Barbara. He tossed his keys carelessly on the kitchen bench and poured her a glass of water. They chatted awkwardly about the weather until she nodded. Tommy removed the first test kit from the box and tore open the sealed foil bag. "Right, this one gets two blue lines."
Tommy hovered outside the door and after twenty seconds called out, "well?"
"I haven't done it yet. I'm psyching myself up."
Tommy paced up and down then heard the telltale water. "Well?"
Barbara opened the door still sitting on the toilet. They both stared down at the stick. One blue line came up quickly then the other slowly formed. It took about half a minute to darken. "Positive! Oh Barbara that's wonderful."
"Get me another one to be sure."
They ended up using all three kits and each one was positive. When Barbara emerged from the toilet Tommy wrapped his arms around her and spun her around. "We're going to have a baby!"
It was hard not to get caught up in his excitement but Barbara was conflicted. In one way she was happy but there were so many other things to think about like work and his family. "So it seems."
Tommy knew she was not as excited as him and it disappointed him. He had hoped she would want their child as much as he did. He led her into the lounge and sat beside her. He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "Talk about it. Tell me what you feel."
He had always had a caring sensitive side with her but she was not sure she could share her feelings. Once she started it all tumbled out. "What about work? When do I stop and do I ever go back? And I'm scared something will happen to you now that you're working in the CCS and then I'll be left alone."
"You won't be. I don't enjoy it much without you there every day. I'll resign and stay with you and then if you want to go back after the baby is old enough I'll support that. Although it scares me everyday that I'll get a call that something has happened to you."
"Does it? You never said! I ring Winston twice a day to check you're okay but I can't expect you to give up your career. I know what it means to you. Besides we need the income if we have a child to support."
"My career means a lot less than you and the baby do Barbara. Besides I have been thinking for weeks that I would give up if we have children. I want to spend more time in Cornwall with them and money is not really an issue. It's probably about time I shared more of the family business with you."
"Well what about school? I don't want my child packed off to boarding school like an unwanted houseguest."
"We have plenty of time to decide on a school."
"Won't he have to go to Eton?"
"It's not compulsory Barbara but Cornwall schools are probably not what we want either. There are good day schools in London. Next seemingly impossible excuse please."
"Don't mock me Tommy, I'm out of my depth here."
"No you're not. Just stand on my shoulders." He kissed her lovingly and she began to relax. "Every problem we solve I'm going to kiss you. I think they'll disappear quite quickly."
For the first time since confirming her pregnancy she laughed. She told him that his mother still scared her and she did not want his family or friends to think she had trapped him but his reassurance was hard to resist. She began to feel this could work except for one elephant in the room. "Last time," she said slowly, "it scared you. What's different?"
Tommy had wondered if that was behind some of her fear. "I wasn't ready and you were leaving me in twenty-eight days. The thought of losing you was unbearable. It occupied my mind completely but it never dawned on me that it was because I was in love with you. I knew by then that marrying Helen had been a mistake because she didn't love me the way I wanted her to and I needed you to satisfy my emotional needs. It sounds selfish now and it was but I wanted both of you in my life. Helen and I were like two best friends who also had sex. There was no real intimacy, it was more of a duty and we started to lose the friendship too because we couldn't talk about what bothered us most, our marriage. Helen thought a baby would help I think but I just felt trapped."
She reached over and stroked his face. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. The worst moment in my life was when I thought I had lost you when you were shot." Barbara looked at him and he understood her question. "Guilt is a very different thing. At least when Helen died I still had you. It helped but it also made it worse, the guilt I mean. Anyway let's not dwell on that. This time I want the baby more than anything. He or she is a part of us. Physically we can't get closer than creating a new life. Everything will be fine. We can manage it Barbara, if we do it together."
He kissed her as gently and lovingly as he could and a few minutes later they had slid off the couch and back onto the carpet. "The scene of the crime," he whispered.
"Well I can't get pregnant can I, so do your worst Sir!"
"With you Barbara I prefer to do my best," he said as he started to nibble on that spot just behind her ear.
As they lay contentedly together in the afterglow, Barbara was thinking about how tender and loving Tommy had been and how he had stroked her abdomen and started talking to their child. He would make a wonderful father to their son. "What if it's a girl?" she asked in alarm.
"Then I'll probably spoil her rotten. Is this another series of problems so we can make love again? You can just ask me. Or take matters in hand and lead the way."
"No, seriously. What if I can't give you an heir?"
"Then Peter or his sons will be the next Earl or the line will die out. I'm not King Henry the Eighth you know! I'm not going to have your head lopped off! We ponces don't do it like that anymore. Oww!"
"You deserved it," she said cheekily. "Are you sure?"
"Well Judith's older than me and my mother survived to have a second go, so yes, I'm sure. I do hope we have more than one child but if not it will be what it is. Now any more concerns or can I take you for lunch?"
"Lunch sounds good. I really fancy some decent chips!"
Tommy laughed. "Good to see some things never change."
Barbara rolled her eyes. "I won't be able to have a pint for seven months will I?" she said disappointedly.
Tommy grinned but thought better of asking if she intended to breastfeed.
Note: I intended this to be a bit of fun. It has been a scene lurking in my head for a while just waiting for the right story. Apologies if anyone found it uncomfortable.
