Rin
Jaken luckily came back and took haru. He said he was going to play some games with some man. I hope he has fun,I am still upset with Koga though. I just do not understand why me being curious is so wrong. So I am currently doing something I really shouldn't be doing, I have full access to everything so I am looking into what information Sesshomaru has on this Ayame. She is the same age has Koga, she used to be a dancer, never married or mated, went to a community college and became a paralegal, started working for Koga two years ago. Nothing seems out of place and she is a beautiful demon by why would Koga get so defensive about her unless there is something I do not know. I shake my head, no I love Koga and he would never do anything like that. I sigh this is stupid, I have a lot of work to do and here I am overreacting. I hear the elevator and out comes my husband, he looks so sad it nearly breaks my heart. "My love I am so sorry for what I said I was just jealous and afraid of losing you and haru can you ever forgive me?" he sits on my desk with a small smile. How could I ever doubt him "of course my love but you better go before you know who thinks we are acting unprofessionally" I say sweetly to him. He nods "I will see you later" he kisses my forehead. "I love you" I whisper. He smiles and leaves, I love him so much how could I ever question his love for me. "you two are not mated so he is free" I turn around to see Sesshomaru just looking at me. "if he truly loved you he would have mated you years ago, face it you two are just with each other because your both afraid of being alone" I raise an eyebrow at him. "are you done giving me advice on my marriage?" how dare he stick his nose in my business why does he even care anyway. "Rin believe me when I say this he will find his mate one day and have no choice but to leave you so I would prepare for it sooner rather than later". I just stare at him. He did have a point to be honest demon mating is something we never even talked about before. I knew a little bit about it because I asked Sesshomaru years ago. I shake my head, no Koga could never do that to me and our child. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, Haru is not his son and I am not his mate he is free to leave anytime he wants human marriages are easily broken. I turn away from Sesshomaru "Rin when he comes back from his trip you should ask him to mate with you" I turn and face him again "why are you doing this to me?" I asked, I am so close to crying, I know Koga loves me, he just apologized, he loves me "Because I care about you" I stood up "you left me Sesshomaru" I yelled, "you knew we had a child but you did nothing, why do you care now" I turn away and put my had on my forehead "Rin I am going to be getting a divorce, deny it all you want, but you know the truth" his hand gently lift and turned my head so I was looking at him "You still love me, as much as I love you" I start to cry and pulls me into a hug, I do love Sesshomaru I always have, I always will, I do not want to admit though, Koga has been withme all this time, how can I just brush him off to the side, "Sesshomaru" I look into those golden eyes I love so much, I am so happy haru inherited them, maybe this is why I never wanted other children, because Sesshomaru would not be there father "Rin, I will wait for you, forever if I must, but know this, I love you, I love our son, please give me a chance" he rubs the hair on my face, my heart is screaming yes, just give yourself to him, but my mind is just thinking about how he left me, loneliness is all I felt before I had Koga, before haru was born, can I ever truly forgive him "Sesshomaru, I want you to be part of our sons life, but I am married, you left me" I leaned back into his chest, how I missed his warmth so much "Do nt worry, like I said, I will wait, I will wait until the end of time if I must, our love is not something that can be broken, I am yours, I always have been, I just need to prove it to you" I step out of his embrace "good luck" part of me wants to tell him that there is no way in hell I will betray my husband but my eart is telling me to let him into my heart again, I stick out my hand "friends?" I ask, he takes my hand and shakes it "Friends" he leave with that, I will be his friend for now, nothing more.
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