Dalshon
Chapter 17
Two Minbari walked together in the Human Garden. It was one of the public spaces in the new capitol of the Interstellar Alliance. It had plants from Earth, but for Delenn its chief attraction was the rock and sand, raked in lines and concentric circles, just like the tiny Zen Garden on Babylon 5.
"I never could have foreseen this day," said Morann, gesturing around to the Human Garden, or perhaps to the new capitol.
"Nor I," said Delenn.
"Are you sure you will not take your place in the Grey Council again?"
"I am sure. The work of Entilza is enough for me, without adding the responsibilities of Satai as well."
"When I first met you, I thought you an arrogant priestess with no understanding of the concerns of other castes. But it was I who did not truly understand war. Our people owe you a great debt, Delenn. Without you the Shadow War would have ended very differently."
"Morann. I have known you long enough to know that you do not start by flattering someone unless you want something. We do not stand under the spotlights of the Council here, but I recognize your style of rhetoric just as well in the sunlight."
"It is this rumor. More than rumor, the conversation playing over and over on the Earth news, between the human Anla'shok and the Imbalo clan head. People are worried, Delenn."
"By people you mean the Council."
"Is it true?"
Delenn knew what he was asking, of course. He wanted to know if her husband were really loribonded to her former aide. "Lennier is no threat to the Alliance. Or Minbar. Or the Grey Council. And certainly not to me."
"I see." He understood what she did not say. The Grey Council often spoke circumspectly, even in the security of their inner chamber. And this was a public space, after all.
They walked a few more steps. Then Morann said, "You are even more worried than we are."
"No," Delenn said. "Not about that. I worry that the stress is getting to John. He's been—" acting strange, she almost said. But there was no reason to voice her concerns to Morann, or to anyone else. John would deal with his inner conflicts as he always did, by charging straight ahead into the next project until he forgot about them.
"What is it, Delenn? What worries you so?"
"Nothing the Grey Council needs to concern itself with."
"I would help, if I could. No number of good deeds will ever wash away the blood on my hands, but I would try nonetheless. Given a chance."
"What is it that you think you have to make up for, Morann? It was I who called out No Mercy at the start of the Earth-Minbari war. It was I who approved the loribonding program on Tifar, though I did not know the terrible details. I rather imagined they would be hoping to form the kind of accidental bonds that happened between friends, and between doctors and patients, before loritril was banned as a psychiatric drug. But it is my fault that I did not inquire about the particulars of the program."
"You did not make that decision alone, Delenn. It was six votes out of nine. And none of us asked what he meant to do. Not that I would have cared, at the time. I had no sense of the immorality of such methods until the day I saw the Triluminary come to life. As religious revelations go, Delenn, I must say I could have wished to remain ignorant."
"If we had remained ignorant of the nature of the human soul, we would have killed them all. And then we would have lost the Shadow War."
"I know it well. And yet…" Morann sighed. "Delenn. Do you know, even we of the military caste have strong religious beliefs."
"Of course. You told me once that you had often wondered what it would be like to meet the one who holds the soul of Valen in this life. And then you did. You revealed him to us all. You were the first to recognize him, with the Triluminary. You are his herald. It is a great honor."
"Delenn. A great honor? Yes, I saw the soul of Valen in Sinclair, when I probed him with the Triluminary. But not before I had tried a few other things first. The real, literal blood of Valen on my hands, Delenn. When my time comes to die, how will I face the place where no shadows fall, how will I face the light of Valen, what will I say to him? Or will I see that light at all? Will I wander into the shadow?"
"Morann." Delenn stopped walking, and faced him kindly. "As soon as you knew who he was, you came to get the rest of us. You never willingly transgressed against Valen. But I have. I ordered his memory erased, so that he would not know he had been captured. And that was because by then, I did know what was going on, on Tifar. I had heard that the loribond victims had been imprisoned by their own people, and then thrown out of the military and put into hospitals for troubled minds, and all prisoners of war subsequently released were assumed to have been loribonded as well, and also sent to the mental hospitals. I ordered Sinclair's memory tampered with, knowing he was Valen. If there is any guilt to be apportioned in that matter, it is mine."
"I tortured him. I tortured Valen. I can face neither life nor death now. There is only service to my people. Both of them. Minbari and humans."
"Far be it from me to dissuade you from a life of service. All Minbari should strive for that ideal. But you serve neither your people nor Valen by tearing apart your heart. You are a good person, Morann."
He nodded, but did not look convinced. "Thank you for saying so, Delenn. If you will not let me help you with this, I will return to the Council ship."
Delenn went back to her office, which was not in the new presidential palace where John's office was, but in the ancient Anla'shok headquarters. She found a message waiting from Captain Punch, but she did not respond to it. Delenn had no intention of having the Anla'shok track down Lennier. If he could not be at her side, at least he could be free, somewhere out there, doing some kind of good. She would never have him imprisoned.
She did some of the routine work of the leader of the Rangers, approving various projects. Then the signal she had been waiting for came in. The dalshon was on the raider base.
Delenn alerted the Whitestar Fleet. It was time for battle.
End of Chapter 17
