Installment two.
Disclaimer: Yeah…still not mine.
-BB-
I wanna wrap the moon around us
Lay beside you skin on skin
Make love 'til the sun comes up
'Til the sun goes down again
'Cause I need you like a needle needs a vein.
-BB-
With a sigh he powered down the phone.
This wasn't his call to make.
It wasn't...But if he didn't know where Catherine was and she was injured - he would never forgive himself if he weren't by her side sooner than humanly possible. She was everything. She was every breath he took. She was his happy place during every single surgery. She was his everything. Now he just needed to make sure she knew it.
He pocketed the phone and wondered through the windy corridors, finally reaching the closed door of Catherine Blacks residence for the foreseeable future. He laid his palm against the frosted door. As much as he needed to see her, his body ached to consume the same oxygen as she - he can't. How can he see someone he cares so deeply about, someone who is strong in everything she does be reduced to a pile of injuries? If only he knew, if only he urged her to spend the night with him last night. She needed him last night; hell at least to ensure she didn't let the mania consume her. He let his frustration cloud his judgment; leading him right into Carlita's open arms. Never again is he making that mistake.
With a final sigh he grasped the handle tightly in his palm and pushed the door ajar. He could do this. He could do this.
His eyes drank in her form. Nurses had cleared the blood caking her hair as well as her face and brushed her hair back. Her lips were a chalky white, pairing well with the hospital gown that adorned her pale flesh. She was warmly ensconced in several blankets - ensuring that she was as comfortable as possible.
He didn't know what he was expecting. But it certainly wasn't this. She looked...she looked so unlike the Catherine Black he knew. And he didn't like it. Not at all.
He willed his legs to move forward and he pulled the chair on the far side of the wall close to her bedside. He literally dropped into the chair. The emotional turmoil and the stress of the day, hell the stress of the past few months has beaten him down till there was nothing left. Though it was she that breathed life back into him. It was as if whenever he was in her presence she could melt down his fears until nothing but happiness remained.
On instinct he placed her palm in his own, his fingers seeking out her pulse, the steady rhythm assuring him of her existence. That she made it. That she rests with him. That they can start their life together.
It was here that he remained - eight hours, unwavering from his position by her bedside. Every two hours they woke her - though she was barely aware of it. Due to her brain swelling they had to ensure that she didn't fall into a coma; unfortunately that meant that she didn't have the highest grade of pain meds available. He hated that he couldn't do anything to alleviate her pain.
He was so deep in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice Owen enter the room.
"Bick..."
He looked up in a start and cleared his throat a few times before he could form a response.
All that came out was a dry, "Yeah?"
"She's going to be okay you know. She is Dr Catherine Black and she will be okay."
He just shook his head profusely. "No. No she won't. She isn't Dr Catherine Black anymore. The one thing that kept her grounded when all else was in flux was that she could help people. She doesn't have that. No, now she is Catherine Black; a patient - I won't accept it and neither will she."
"What do you expect me to do? She self medicated!"
"Damn it Owen! She thought she had nowhere to turn. Her psychiatrist wasn't there, her ex-fiancé wasn't there, her family wasn't there and neither were we. We are friends and we couldn't be there for her. We are neuroscientists and we couldn't help her fight her neuro-disorder. What does that say about us?"
"What she did was illegal Bick."
"Maybe. But I can tell you one thing that I know with absolute certainty. The world is better with Doctor Black in it. She is the Marco Polo of the brain. She can do in one week what it will take other Doctors months to do. Now we know and now we can stop her from stopping her medication. But we can't do that if she isn't a doctor - she has nothing else to live for. We also can't do it by second guessing all of her decisions..." He trailed off.
Dr Morley sighed and brushed his palm over his forehead. "I-I-uh I just don't know what I can say Bick. But I also know that now is not the time for all of this. Right now we need her to get better, everything else can come later."
Bick nodded, he definitely agreed. Though he also needed Catherine to have something to live for, something other than work - something like him.
"I was just wondering if you would be up to performing surgery."
"Is it something someone else can't handle?"
Owen shook his head, "then there is no reason for me to leave her." It was then that Owen understood. Doctor Ian Bickman was in love with Doctor Catherine Black. Something he thought neither of them were capable of, that neither of them could feel for each other so strongly. Owen just nodded and proceeded further into the room, placing a chaste kiss on Catherine's forehead. He rounded the bed and placed his hand on Bicks shoulder, "she is going to be okay," he reiterated.
Without a word further he left the room.
Bick sat there for hours more, a nurse bringing him something to eat sporadically. He didn't notice when the door opened once more.
"I heard."
He looked up at her, not expecting her to seek him out. He waited for her to continue, he really didn't want this to draw out.
"You're in love with her."
She repeated her sentiment from several days ago. The only difference is that this time Bick didn't protest - nor did he confirm.
"There is nothing I can do. Is there?" She asked, her doe eyes pleading. No.
"Carlita..." He trailed off.
"What is it? What is it about her that draws you to her?"
Everything.
"No obligations, no strings." He reminded her, "What I do outside of the time we spent," emphasizing past tense, "together is not of your concern."
"So that's it, we are done?" She asked - her voice rising slightly.
"That's it." He confirmed. How could he want anything with her when he had Catherine, sweet Catherine who's voice is a sounding melody drumming straight to his heart.
As she turned to leave, Bicks breath hitched. He felt a pressure in his hand. "Catherine, can you hear me?" He asked in anticipation.
Carlita stopped in her tracks and turned around wanting to see if Doctor Black was awake.
A cough gave her the answer
Bick smiled as he saw her lashes flutter to reveal the most amazing green orbs he had ever seen. "Ian?" She scratched out.
"Yeah Cat, no you stay still!" He urged her when she began to move around. "Carlita," he called and Cats unfocused eyes took in the brunette.
"Yes Doctor Bickman?" She stepped forward.
"Do you mind letting Doctor Morley know in around thirty minutes that Doctor Black woke up." It sounded like a question, though they both knew it wasn't posed as one.
With a final nod she exited the room leaving the two doctors alone.
Bick refocused his attention onto Catherine who ceased her tossing and turning with his arm grasping her wrist. "Hey..." He trailed off, his smile evident and lacing his tone.
She smiled, though she soon after grimaced in pain - and Bick reached to press for pain relief but she stopped him, shaking her head.
"What happened?
While she was out Bick received the details of the accident. "What's the last thing you remember?" He wanted to test her memory - though she remembered him, surely a good sign.
"I-I remember that I was heading to the Cube," she looked down at an invisible point on her blanket when she remembered why she was on her way.
"Hey," he stood and carefully caressed her chin, bringing her gaze back to his own. "We will discuss all that later, right now we just need you to get better," his eyes bore into her orbs, "Okay?" He waited until she nodded before he rested on the side of her bed, careful not to jostle her.
"Okay," she reiterated before continuing, "I was on my way here and I was flicking through my phone when I heard the driver cuss. That's all I remember before the pain." She flinched, reliving the memory, "How's the driver?" She asked; concern lacing her tone. Ever the good Doctor Black she is. She is in critical condition herself yet she worries about others.
"He is fine," Bick assures her right away, "But the driver that hit you is in intensive condition." She just nodded as he gauged her reaction.
"What's wrong with him?" Bick proceeded to list his injuries - though it looked bleak, "I suppose I should ask what's wrong with me..."
Bick drew her non-IV hand to his lips and pressed a kiss against it before enclosing it in both of his own warm, large surgeon hands. "Your brain is slightly swelled but nothing that is unmanageable. There was an internal bleed in your stomach, though they managed it rapidly. The metal that was eight millimeters away from your spine is more of a concern, we will only know if it's something that will impair you once we get you about. " By the end his breath was labored, as he was recalling every moment of the surgery - everything that could of gone wrong.
Catherine intertwined her fingers with his, sensing that he needed a moment to collect himself.
When Bick had once again regulated his breathing he shifted onto the bed; placing a chaste kiss on her forehead - his lips lingering there while his eyes involuntarily closed. "You almost died Cat," he whispered.
"I'm still here, I'm still here." She ran her fingers through his blond locks trying to soothe him.
"But I could of lost you Catherine. I could of lost you before I even had you," he pulled back so he could study her face, "it's my fault. If we didn't have enough time, if we weren't lucky this morning it would have been my fault. I was the one who ran from what we have, what we were feeling." Catherine tried to interrupt him but he just waved her hand at her, "no I need to get this out. I know that this is not an ideal time and that I really should get someone in here to look at you. But Catherine I need you to know that we are going to talk about this. Once you are better we have to talk about this. The past sixteen hours have been the longest of my life and I can't go through it again without you knowing that I care for you." He rubbed her hand lightly; "we can leave this here for now. I just need you to know that I am going to be here for you in the upcoming days, okay?" He questioned.
She nodded and they sat there for a little bit, he asking her some questions and testing her vision.
He was helping her out of bed, both nervous about any discomfort she might have due to her back injury when Owen walked into the room.
"Nice to see you awake Doctor Black." He greeted as Bick wrapped his arm around her waist helping her to slowly stand - a cute orderly he would of made.
"Owen," she recognized the voice even though her back was to him. She attempted to stand on her feet but couldn't stop the bout of pain that consumed her, she gripped Bicks bicep in agony.
Bick automatically set her back onto the bed; if Catherine was above saving face then she must be in serious pain. "Do you need something for the pain Catherine?"
She started to shake her head but thought better of it, "Just don't put me to sleep yet," was her concession, "though can you please pass me the prescriptions from my bag?"
He completely forgot that she would need her medication and automatically did a run down on all of the medication she had already been given. "You can't have Lithium." Bickman let her know.
She nodded while Owen cleared his throat and walked around the bed so that she could see him in her peripheral vision.
"Catherine..." He trailed off before resuming eye contact once again, "I am glad you're okay. I really am." She didn't doubt it. Despite recent events, Owen was her friend, her mentor - she knew he cared.
Dr Morley turned to Ian, "it turns out we didn't need you to operate, Dr Langston did a fine job."
Owen knew that he needed to speak with them, but that would come much later. With some wise words he left the room. "Get some rest, both of you."
Bick joined her sitting on the edge of the bed. Catherine moved her head to rest on his shoulder; he brushed her hair aside and placed a kiss to her forehead. "Bick?" She questioned.
He made an affirmative noise and she continued. "Why didn't you operate?"
He cleared his throat a few times, "Kate...when it comes to you I can't be impartial. Since the first time we slept together I have felt more for you than I should have. It was my fault that we stopped what we had going, I was too terrified to let you in. No obligations, no strings - it has always been my motto Catherine. When it comes to you...I wanted to throw it out the window, you make me want to throw it out the window. I feel things for you and now I don't want to run away from them. Which is why I need for you to know where I stand. It is also why I couldn't operate," Ian swallowed, "I couldn't compartmentalize, think of the patient as someone else - someone who didn't try to kill you. "
Turning her head slightly Catherine placed a kiss on the base of his neck, where his own bullet penetrated his previously unmarked flesh. "Redo?" She asked.
"Redo." He confirmed as he palmed her hair.
"Hey Ian?" She felt him nod into her hair, "help me to the bathroom?"
With a chuckle he nodded and stood to his feet, placing both of her hands in his own. He knew her, and he knew this was something she needed to do, with or without the pain.
"Are you sure you don't want a pain killer first?"
"No. I need to do this, then I can sleep."
"Okay Catherine. Easy now.." He cautioned as she attempted to lift off the bed.
"I can do this Bick."
"Hey, hey. I know." He responded as she wrapped her arm around him. It took a few minutes but he finally got her there. "I'll be out here. Let me know it you need anything."
As Doctor Black left the bathroom she gripped his bicep, "you know, if this whole neurosurgeon thing doesn't work out for you - I am sure you will make a great nurse."
"I'm too god-like for that to happen," he quipped as he helped her settle back in the sheets.
"Would it be possible to have that painkiller, and some pants?" She asked.
"I'll have someone come and give you a painkiller right away. As for the pants...I much enjoy seeing your legs, but on second thought I don't need any of the orderlies staring."
"Jealous Dr. Bickman?"
"With you…always." He responded. "Alright I am going to go find a nurse to bring you some more pain medication. What do you need from home so that I can have it here when you wake up."
"I am sorry that this has to fall onto you Bick…"
"Hey," he palmed her hand between his own, "There is nothing in the world I would rather be doing and no one in the world I would rather be doing it with. So give me that list."
After a few minutes Catherine had given him all that she needed from home and with a last brush of his lips against her cheek he left the room and found a nurse to administer the pain medication before he left the hospital.
Once he exited the elevator on Catherine's floor he pulled her keys out from his coat pocket. When he looked up, well…imagine his surprise to see Mr Cook leaning by her door. Feigning ignorance would probably be the best option here, "I am sorry, can I help you?"
"Doctor Bickman," Will sized up the blonde. Who obviously wanted to get into Catherine's apartment – without Catherine. "I am just waiting for Catherine to get home."
There was no way in which Ian could pass this opportunity up, "She won't be home for a few days. I am just here to pack some of her things." His eyebrows rising into his signature smirk. Let you mind wander there…
At this, Will pushed off from his spot leaning against the wall and took two menacing steps towards Bick, "I know that we broke up for a few reasons, the main one being her unfaithfulness. Though you how are you able to sleep at night knowing that you bedded an engaged woman."
Bick side stepped him and placed the key in the lock, "I don't sleep much, and Catherine can attest to that. Though…she wouldn't need to had she been satisfied with you."
Before Will could say anything, Ian opened the door and shut it firmly when he was ensconced inside. He paused, taking in her apartment – it was spotless. Though somehow, it looked lived in; as if it was someone's home. He didn't have that at his hotels, and being with Catherine, seeing how she lives – he wants normal. The most appealing part about it is that Catherine doesn't want to change him; he wants to change himself for her. She will understand that he works eighteen hour shifts, he will understand that if a patient is critical she will sleep in the hospital, they can both understand that work comes before all.
Drumming his fingers against the granite countertop he paused, Will must of cooked here for her. If they were going to get their new beginning, it had to be somewhere fresh, somewhere uniquely theirs, somewhere they could both call home.
He went to the bedroom and found her small overnight bags in her closet. Picking up the Louis Vuitton bag he placed it on the bed before fitting in all that Catherine requested he bring. Though he must say, going through her undergarments was erotic; he couldn't wait to see those skimpy pieces of lace on her – or on the floor.
Bick added her phone charger for good measure before he turned the lights off and opened the door, happy to find that Will was no longer haunting her hallway.
-BB-
You put me in a cage
In the daily maze of flesh and rage
That I will follow every truth
I won't let you go
I want every tomorrow
-BB-
I wanted to go further, but I am only half way through where chapter 3 is going to lead. Not much happened in this chapter – hell even Bick and Catherine's talk wasn't done here but some things needed to be said and felt, I feel as if I wrapped that up with a nice neat little bow.
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