After some encouragements from friends and some inspirations, I've finally finished this one-shot.

The untalented Team Rocket (Another TR Comedy One-shot) Rated U

Three figures, two humans in Team Rocket uniform and a Meowth were walking down a path using sticks for support, feeling tired and beaten. Yep, it's the famous Team Rocket Trio, Jesse, James and Meowth… obviously. And as usual, they've been going through the same routine – Attempted to steal the same twerp's Pikachu, used a fancy gadget to make their escape but failed anyway, got zapped by Pikachu and finally got blasted off… again.

"Jesse," James moaned. "Is there anything else to do than to get zapped by Pikachu?"

"I hope so, James," Jesse moaned in reply as a town came into view. "We're gonna need more than a massage after what happened today."

They came into town, hoping to find to find somewhere nice to relax. The first place came across was the town hall.

"Hey! Looky here!" Meowth said loudly as he pointed at the poster, which said:

Talent Contest
Participants register today at Town Hall
Perform next week at 8:00pm

Winner will win $10,000 and a contract deal to make live performances

"Ya read dat?" Meowth said enthusiastically, somehow recovering quickly as he tossed the stick away. "If we win, we get da money!"

"We can quit Team Rocket after this!" Jesse yelled, who also recovered quickly.

"It's beach time for us!" James said as he clenched both his fists enthusiastically.

Suddenly a blue blob pokemon appeared out of nowhere. "Wobbuffet!" it cried.

"After what you've done to us you're not invited, you untalented blob! Return!" Jesse yelled angrily as she took her pokeball out, zapping back her pokemon back into its pokeball.

Little did they know; a few familiar figures would also be participating in the show.

A week passed and all of the participants were getting ready backstage as they were dressed in smart clothing such as tuxedos and dresses. Team Rocket spotted the twerps getting ready for the show, much to their disappointment.

"The twerps!" Jesse said loudly. "If they spot us, we'll be caught for sure!"

"Hey!" shouted a kid's voice. "What are you doing here?"

Team Rocket flinched in shock but turned their attention towards him and gave him some confident smirks. The kid that shouted to them was wearing a tuxedo with a Pikachu on his shoulder. That kid happened to be none other than Ash Ketchum.

"Prepare for trouble," Jesse said, starting Team Rocket's motto.

"Make it double," James continued.

"To protect the world from people with no talent whatsoever."

"To be the most talented ever."

"To be like a Delcatty to catch your tongue."

"To be more talented than Will Young."

"Jesse."

"James."

"Team Rocket! Winning this talent contest at the speed of light."

"Surrender now or you'll be in for a stage fright."

Then Meowth jumped in front of them to finish the motto. "Meowth! That's right!"

Suddenly, a Wobbuffet popped out of nowhere and placed its paw on its head in a saluting manner. "Wobbuffet!" it cried.

"What are you three doing here?" Ash asked suspiciously.

"Didn't you hear us the first time, twerp?" Jesse replied. "We're here to win some money and some popularity."

"Just count yourself lucky dat we ain't here to steal your Pikachu, twerp," Meowth said, pointing at his nemesis.

Ash gnarled his teeth, suspicious of what Team Rocket's plans were. "I'll be watching you," he snarled.

"Alright, people listen up!" shouted a voice, catching everyone's attention. Everyone gasped by looking when they saw him. He was wearing black jeans, black tight t-shirt and black shoes. He also had bushy eyebrows and short black hair. His name was Brian Powell, known for his criticism on people with no talent and for making talented people rich and famous, like Talamo Equirez and some weird dutch guy,as they sold over a million records.

"Yeah, yeah," he said as he waved his hand down in an uncaring way. "Anyways, I, and two other judges, Danielle Dragonfree, and The Pokeplaya, will be judging you guys. A few words of warning - I don't want people with no talent to be here, I don't like time wasters, and I don't like butt kissers. With those said, I wish you all the best of luck."

"He's one of our judges?" James said in a worried tone while Brian left. "He's the most hated man in the entire world."

"I know that," Jesse whispered. "But I wouldn't bother plotting to win. Brian knows talent when he sees one."

"When it comes to talent, she's got a pretty good imagination," Meowth said privately to James.

After many minutes of waiting, Jesse was the first Team Rocket agent to appear on stage. She announced that she would be singing 'Beautiful' by Christina Aguilera because she found herself beautiful.

Don't look at me every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, it's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the fame, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone and the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words won't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words won't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay
And everywhere we go
(everywhere we go)
The sun won't always shine
(sun won't always shine)
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times

We are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down
We are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today

After she finished singing she bowed as she waited for some applause from the audience… unfortunately, the crowd was totally silent. The only sounds she heard were someone snoring and some chirping noises, much to her shock.

"Er, Jesse, can you come over a sec?" Brian said, signalling for Jesse to walk over to him. As she got to the judges' panel Brian grasped her hand. Jesse blushed a tinted pink across her face, thinking that she may get a positive comment from one of the hardest judges to impress.

Brian placed a card with a telephone number on her hand and said, "That's my lawyer's phone number," he said in an unimpressed tone. "Call him up and get him to sue your singing tutor. Now off you go."

Jesse's mouth was wide open in shock and rejection. She quickly stomped away in anger while uttering words like, "I'll make you pay for this, Brian!"

"I'm bored," Brian muttered, tapping his pen on his notepad. "I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored."

The next Team Rocket grunt to perform his act was James as he came out on stage with a table with wheels underneath and a cloth covering one side of the table. When he made it to the center of the stage and politely bowed to the audience.

He placed a small cage with a Pidgey locked in on the table. He then placed a diving board with a swimming pool underneath, a bicycle on a tightrope line with two stands connected to the line, and a fiery hoop, all big enough for the small pigeon.

After everything was in place, he opened the cage to release Pidgey to perform the stunts. But Pidgey had plans of its own as it flew away and out of the scene.

After noticing that his performance was a failure, he playfully danced away and off the stage. After a few moments later, James moved his head slightly out, only to have a tomato to land on his face, leaving a huge splat on it.

"My sentiments exactly," Pokeplaya said as Danielle wiped her hands clean with a towel. "Nice shot by the way."

"Thank you," Danielle replied.

"We're gonna take ten minutes after that terrible performance, folks," Brian announced on his microphone. "After the intermission, Ms. May Maple will be playing on the xylophone."

"That twerpy girl? And she'll be playing the xylophone?" Jesse said. "That gives me an idea."

"Which is?" James muffled as he wiped the tomato splat off his face with a towel.

"Put it this way," she replied. "Instead of playing the xylophone, she'll be playing a harp."

She then walked away with an evil laugh while James and Meowth looked on being puzzled.

"I'm off to get some coffee," James said as his tossed away his towel. "I hope it doesn't taste like mud like the way you make it, Meowth."

"Wotcha talkin' about Jimmy?" Meowth said. "It was always mud."

James started to feel queasy when he heard that. "So after all this time I've been drinking hot mud?"

"With sugar," Meowth replied. "Although we've run out of sugar three months ago. Since then I've been using sugar substitute."

"Which is…" James queried, daring himself to know.

"Dandruff."

James felt like he was going to need the men's bathroom as he placed his hand on top of his stomach. "I could add some milk next time… well, saliva," Meowth suggested but James held his hand up.

"No thank you, Meowth, I think you can stop making coffee from now on," James said, having enough of listening to Meowth's list of ingredients. But then he thought of a nasty plan as he showed an evil grin. "But I think I have an idea with that."

In Brian's dressing room, he was reading a magazine when a man dressed in a tea lady's uniform with a pair of funny looking glasses and a cloth wrapped round his mouth and nose came in carrying a notepad.

"Coffee, sir?" the man asked in a falsetto voice.

"Thank you," Brian said as he continued reading the magazine.

"Sugar?"

"Three lumps and make it a milky one."

"Got it," the man said. "I'll go make one right now."

The man left while giggling evilly. The man actually turned out to be James.

A few minutes later, James returned to Brian's dressing room with a cup of 'coffee' in hand while wearing the same uniform. "Here it is," he said happily.

"Place it on the table in front of me," Brian said.

"Here you go," James said as he placed the cup.

"Thank you," Brian mumbled.

He placed his magazine to one side and looked at the hot beverage. "Ah! Cappuccino," he said in a surprised tone. "Do you have those brown stuff you sprinkle on top?"

"I'm sure I could…" James said but made a sudden stop when he thought of something grotesque. "Oh, I just remembered, we've ran out."

"That's alright," Brian replied. "You may go."

James left the room with a sly grin on his face, which was hidden behind that cloth. Brian was about to drink his 'cappuccino' when suddenly…

"Mr. Powell!" a woman yelled. "You're on in two minutes!"

"Oh well," Brian said as he got up. "There's always water at the panel."

As he left the room he gave the beverage to the woman said that she could have it. The woman took a sip, she immediately covered her mouth with her hand when she tasted the horrible drink and quickly made her way to the bathroom. James saw that his plan foiled and hung his head low in shame. "He's gonna disqualify us for sure," he mumbled.

After the judges' ten minute break, a xylophone was placed in the middle of the stage. A girl, wearing a red sparkling dress, was introduced as May Maple as she walked out to the stage as the audience applauded.

"Hello," she said nervously as she stood in front of the instrument and the audience. "I'm going to play a tune that I've learned during a week of practice. It's called, 'Your song' sang by Elton John."

She picked up two small hammers and played a starting tune as a piano was playing in the background while Jesse was listening to it. As Jesse expected something to happen, May hit the wrong note, making Jesse flinch in frustration.

"That's wrong, you dumb twerp!" Jesse yelled angrily. "Try it again!"

May played the starting tune again but hit the same wrong note again. Jesse couldn't take it anymore.

"No! No! You stupid twerp!" Jesse yelled as she rushed onto the stage, grabbed the hammers and shoved May away from the instrument. "Like this!" she yelled again as she quickly played the starting tune in the correct way… until the xylophone exploded.

As the smoke cleared, Jesse became totally covered with burnt marks and dirt. She had lost some of her hair. She gave a shocked look on her face as some metal bars fell off the instrument.

The next grunt was Meowth as he walked out on stage wearing a tuxedo. A piano was placed in the center on the stage for him to play on. He announced that was going to play 'Hungarian Rhapsody' as he politely bowed to the audience.

As he started to play the large instrument a little yellow mouse, a Pichu, with a collar with a nametag signed 'Jerry' was running around backstage unnoticed until it spotted Meowth on stage.

It ran up to the leg of the piano to and headed towards Meowth as it wanted to watch him play and listen to the music. The cat saw 'Jerry' and saw it as a distraction. He grabbed the Pichu and tossed it away while playing the piano with the other paw.

Pichu picked himself up, starting to get angry. He ran over the piano and got inside it. A moment later, the piano started playing by itself, much to Meowth's shock until he looked inside the piano, spotted Pichu playing with the inner keys and hit it on the top of its head.

Meowth then proceeded to toss 'Jerry' out of the way again. While rubbing its head, the little Pichu looked round to see what it could find to mess around with the cat. It spotted and picked up a pair of scissors that was on the floor. He walked and climbed up the leg of the piano again; only this time it attempted to cut off the tips of Meowth's paw but kept on missing as Meowth tapping on the keys was too fast for him. Having enough, Pichu tossed the scissors away and walked over to the lid, slamming it on Meowth's paws. Meowth's face became red as he felt the agonising pain through his forelegs but kept his mouth shut from screaming. He lifted up the lid and then grabbed Pichu with one of his hurt paws and placed him inside the piano between the inner keys and started playing the piano like there was no tomorrow as 'Jerry' was getting beaten, juggled and squashed by the inner keys.

After Pichu's short knockout, it decided to get its own back as he ripped out two of the inner keys and started hitting the other keys like a Dodrio pecking at its food, much to Meowth's shock again as he now tried to keep up with the sequence. As Meowth was about to finish the song, Pichu started to stir things up again as it played the same sequence again, forcing Meowth to keep track. Meowth was about to finish his song again but Pichu made him repeat the same sequence again for the third time by hitting the inner keys. This time, Meowth became tired, as his clothes were becoming ripped and torn while he was finally finishing off the song. After he finished the song, he collapsed to the floor, unable to bow to the audience while 'Jerry' took Meowth's his place and bowed to them instead, receiving a standing ovation.

After every participant had performed their acts and minutes of waiting for the result, the judges made their decision of who would win the talent show. A show host stood in the middle of the stage holding an envelope while the contestants waited backstage. He opened up the envelope and took out the card to reveal the winner. "The winner of this talent contest, it's… 'Jerry' the Pichu!"

"What!" Everyone in the backstage yelled. "That Pichu isn't even in this competition!"

'Jerry' jumped happily to the stage and was given the award while the Team Rocket trio stormed in. "That's our award!" Jesse yelled. "We worked and deserve that award more than that pesky mouse!"

"Pichu pichu!" 'Jerry' squeaked as it struggled to hold the award upright in its small paws.

"Wot's dat," Meowth said. "Ya sayin' ya got a present for us for helpin' you out?"

"Pichu pi," 'Jerry' squeaked again as it walked off the stage and returned carrying a large wrapped present. It handed over the present to the trio.

Everyone saw how cute it was, seeing Pichu handing a present over to the villains as the trio began to shed anime-tears. "I've never been so grateful in my life," James sobbed. "Quick, let's open the present!"

When they opened the present it exploded, sending Team Rocket flying out of the town hall, covered in black dirt.

"This is great," Meowth moaned. "We don't need Pikachu to blast us off anymore!"

"This is so unfair," James sobbed. "If we see that Pichu again, it'll be too soon."

"That pesky Pichu!" Jesse yelled. "I'll make a fur coat out of it one day!"

Suddenly, a wobbuffet appeared out of nowhere and yelled out its name. "Wobbuffet!"

"We're blasting off again!" they cried as they went out of sight.

Back in the town hall, the audience laughed at what happened as 'Jerry' carried on jumping in celebration.

"Maybe we ought to use that trick on Team Rocket, eh, Pikachu?" Ash asked as he and the other participants watched backstage via TV screen. Pikachu squeaked in a positive way in reply.

END!
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Author's note:
With over 8 pages, this is the longest one-shot I have done so far.

As you've noticed, I've used some of the names of the forum members to appear on this one shot. There are six of them in total and they're written in different forms. The first person to spot all six will get a jarful of cookies.

Plus, this one-shot is also based on two cartoons and a popular entertainment show. If you're the first person who can guess those three shows correctly, you'll get a desert of your choice. If you're living in the UK or watch UK shows, I've parodied one of the bits from a particular comedy show and placed it on this fic. See if you can guess what it is.

Last but not least, what do you guys think?