Author's Note: IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIVE! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, I got a new computer, I've gotten over my writer's block, my Nuzlocke is finished, and I have a huge back-log of entries for my blog. I still have classes, but I've consigned myself to the fact that I'm the kind of person who will always be taking classes whether I've graduated or not. I just like to learn. Thank you all for being so patient!
The First Day 3: Fun and Frustration
"I can't believe I'm doing this!" Victor Volt complained loudly as he picked up a stack of papers from the copy machine. "I'm a highly trained UZZ agent, not an intern!"
"Victor, it's just until Professor Professor gets a student assistant." His partner, Anita Knight reassured him. "Don't be such a baby."
"I'm not a baby." Victor muttered.
"Victor, are you done making copies of the syllabus, or are you still vhining like a baby?" Professor Professor called with a distinctive Bavarian accent from the other room, his classroom to be exact. It was adjacent to the engineering room and filled with almost as much technology. There were work tables rather than desks, which could easily be pushed aside to make room for larger projects.
The professor himself was a sort, balding man, with just a partial ring of green hair left above his ears. He was running about the room with giddy excitement, making sure all the equipment was just right for the students who would be arriving soon. Once the room was set up to his liking, he opened the large double doors leading into the engineering room.
"Once you lay out the syllabi on the tables, help me move this thing in here!" The diminutive Bavarian professor called to his colleagues as he picked up a Prius-sized container with a fork-lift.
Anita looked at the container and then at the doors. "Er, Professor Professor, are you sure that'll fit through the—"
"Yes yes, I'm sure, just come make sure I'm going in straight!"
She and Victor exchanged dubious looks.
Five minutes later there was a hole in the wall where the doors had been and the container was sitting at the front of the classroom. Victor and Anita looked at the destruction with mouths agape.
"Oh, I'm sure that'll patch up just fine." Professor Professor said confidently as he hopped out of the forklift, "Could you take care of that after class, Victor?"
"What!?" Victor cried, "Why do I have to!?"
"Ah-ah-ah, not now! The students are coming!" the professor insisted. And the voices of students could indeed be heard coming down the hall toward the other, undamaged doorway. "Go! Schnell! I have to start class!" He pushed the two exasperated agents out the door.
The students filed in, each looking at the hole in the wall with curiosity. The youngest among them were Jimmy Neutron and Professor AJ. The two young geniuses sat near the front of the classroom, according to the habits they had developed in grade school.
"Hello class, and velcome to the advanced science course. I am Professor Professor, and I vill be your instructor, in a loose sense of the term. You have all demonstrated that your knowledge far surpasses that of conventional schooling, so ve are going to learn to use science to combat evil! Today I have brought an example…"
The students shifted their attention to the hole in the wall.
"No, the vall is not the example!" the professor exclaimed, pulling out a pointer stick and tapping it on the container impatiently, "This is! The thing that made the hole!"
"Wow, what kind of weapon is that?" AJ asked.
"Veapon? It's not a veapon. Who ever said it vas a veapon?" The teacher asked in confusion.
"Then how'd it make that hole?" AJ asked again.
"I rammed it through the vall vith a fork-lift!" Professor Professor explained. The students were now regarding their teacher with a mixture of disbelief and apprehension.
"This is a prototype prison!" the teacher continued, "Most people have a moral problem with killing a super villain, but once you've defeated them, vhat is to stop them from doing evil again? You have to have an inescapable prison to keep the most slippery villains from breaking out. This experimental cell is resistant to veapons and explosives of every kind."
To demonstrate he pulled out a small bazooka and fired it at the container. It didn't leave a scratch, but the force of the impact sent a shockwave through the room.
"It has a ghost shield, and it air-tight, so not even villains who can change their state of matter can escape."
He walked inside and shut the door behind him. The seam along the doorframe glowed and smoked.
"And to top it all off, the door seals itself shut on the molecular level." Professor Professor said proudly, his voice now somewhat muffled. "There are really only two problems we're trying to vork out left. The first is, since it's air-tight, there is a limited amount of oxygen inside, so ve can't keep villains inside for very long."
The students all talked among themselves. Yes, that was a glaring design flaw.
"The second problem is, once the door is sealed shut, it is completely impossible to open."
The students all stared at their teacher in shock. Had he just said what they thought he just said? Did he even realize what he had just said!?
"Ack! I'm trapped!" Professor Professor screamed when he finally realized what he'd just done. "I'm trapped! I'll suffocate! Aaaugh! Raaaauuugh!" He began panic and bang his fists on the walls. "Qvick! One of you, invent something to get me out of here!"
Meanwhile, Victor and Anita were walking down the hall, away from the classroom, when a student slammed the door open and called after them.
"Come quick! Professor Professor locked himself in an unopenable prison!" A student called out to the two agents.
"You did what!?" Victor asked incredulously when he and Anita had heard his tale. "What kind of super genius are you!?"
"Vell now, there's no need to get snippy." The diminutive scientist said crossly. He had calmed down considerably when the two agents arrived.
"You two are secret agents, right?" AJ asked, "And you work with Professor Professor and his inventions all the time. Don't you have a way to get him out?"
"Uhhhh…" Victor stammered uncertainly, tapping the crate. He shrugged at his partner.
"Alright, everybody stand back!" Anita told the students. Everyone backed up to the other side of the room while the pointy-nosed agent pulled out her ray gun. She shot a blast into the window of the cell, followed by another, and then several more. Each one failed to leave a mark on the impenetrable container, but left an increasingly black scorch mark on the floor surrounding it.
"Sorry kids, if my ray gun can't open it, I can't open it." Anita sighed.
"Of course not!" Professor Professor said smugly, "It vas designed to be inpenetreneble to vepons. The students vill have to invent a vay to open it."
The students instantly started brainstorming a way to open the cell. Maybe they could use a super-heated laser to melt the wall off? No, the heat would probably kill Professor Professor. Maybe they could put it in a vacuum chamber, and the difference in pressure would pop the container open. No, it was built to withstand the vacuum of space, a man-made vacuum would do no better.
"Gentlemen, gentlemen, you're going about this the wrong way!" Jimmy exclaimed. A few of the girls in the class glared at him. "Oh, uh, and ladies." He continued, "The cell walls were designed to withstand all weapons and forces, both external and internal. The problem isn't the walls, it's that the space outside of the cell is no longer connected to the space inside the cell."
"Uh… yes, that's the problem that the wall is causing!" An older student yelled in frustration.
"What I'm getting at is, we can bend time and space to create a portal into the cell!" Jimmy explained.
"A wormhole?" Another student asked, "Isn't that kinda, I dunno, dangerous? If you make any mistakes you could create a singularity and destroy the school, if not the galaxy!"
"Yeah, and how are you gonna create a portal generator before he asphyxiates?" AJ asked.
"The technology already exists, we've got teachers from other universes!" The swirly-haired genius reminded everyone. "We just have to ask the school if we can modify the dimensional portal to open a door a little closer to home."
With that the students ran to the principal's office.
It had been a busy day for Miss Seingado. First the row with the interdimensional teachers, then the trouble explaining why a former super villain was attending the school. She began to type away at her computer. Hopefully there would be no more interruptions.
No sooner had she thought the words when a whole class of students burst into her room. She allowed herself the smallest sigh before composing herself. Sandy was right, she did need a secretary.
"What brings an entire class here?" the principal asked. She noticed that their only adult supervision was Anita and Victor, the two UZZ agents who worked with Professor Professor. "And where's your teacher?"
"That's the problem Miss Seingado!" A short bald black kid exclaimed, "Professor Professor accidentally locked himself in an impenetrable experimental holding cell, and we need to modify the dimensional portal to open a portal into the cell or he'll suffocate!"
Miss Seingado blinked, but otherwise maintained her cool and calm expression. "Well, that is quite the pickle, isn't it?"
"So, could you tell us where the portal generator is, so we can modify it?" Another boy, this one with swirly brown hair, asked.
"Well boys, you have to understand, that portal is very important. If anything were to happen to it, several of our teachers wouldn't be able to return home." She explained. "I don't think they'd appreciate it if I let students tamper with it, even if you are the advanced science class."
"With all due respect ma'am, someone's life is at stake here!" Anita yelled.
"I'm well aware, Miss Knight." The principal replied icily. "But this is a class of geniuses, isn't it? Surely they can think of another way to get him out."
The class was taken aback. Wasn't this an emergency? Why wouldn't she let them use the portal? Then again, some of the other students began to murmur, she had a point. Couldn't they come up with a better idea than the youngest kid in the class? The class left the principal's office, the older students already brain storming again.
Jimmy held back. "Miss Seingado, I've been studying portals and interdimensional travel extensively, I'm sure I can modify it safely! We're running out of time! Any other invention will probably take too long to build at this rate!"
"I'm sorry Mr. Neutron, but I'm not willing to run the risk of trapping our staff away from their families." The principal said firmly. "Now, you'd better run along and catch up with the rest of your class."
Jimmy groaned in frustration as he walked down the hall. "Why is she being so obstructive!?" He vented when they were far enough away that he was sure she wouldn't hear him. "I don't care what she say, if we're going to save Professor Professor, we need to use the portal generator. Who's with me?" He called to the rest of the class.
"Jim, we don't even know where the portal generator is." AJ pointed out.
"Ooh, I know where it is!" Victor said excitedly.
"Victor, why didn't you say anything sooner!?" Anita asked angrily.
"Well… I thought we had to ask the principal first… I mean… she is in charge." Victor stammered.
"And she said we couldn't use it. We'll have to think of something else." One of the older students said. He and most of the rest of the class continued down the hall back to the engineering room.
"I'm with you Jimmy." Anita assured him. AJ also nodded.
"But Miss Seingado said…" Victor started.
"Victor." Anita gave a withering glance to her partner.
"… Fine." He gave in, and led them to the portal generator.
The portal generator was located in a large amphitheater-like room set away from the rest of the school inside the great hanger-like space that served as a campus. The small team was surprised to see someone was already there.
"Remy Buxaplenty!?" AJ asked in confusion when he saw the rich kid. "What the heck are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same question." Remy replied smarmily.
"Look, I'm pretty sure none of us are supposed to be here, so we promise not to tell if you don't." Jimmy stepped between the two and broke up the conflict. "Just step aside Buxaplenty, we're trying to save our teacher's life."
Remy did as he was told, but watched curiously as the two geniuses worked. Jimmy's idea was really simple, actually. He just had to change the coordinates to a place within its own universe, and make sure the frequency wouldn't create destructive interference when it doubled back on itself.
"Ok, I think we're good." Jimmy said confidently after just a few seconds of tinkering.
"What, that's it?" Victor asked, "What was all the fuss about then?"
"That's what I'd like to know." Neutron replied, glancing suspiciously at Remy. Why was he still here, anyway?
But there wasn't time to think about that. They still had to open the portal and get Professor Professor out. So he turned the portal generator on and stepped into the cell with the two UZZ agents.
"Professor Professor, are you alright?" Anita asked. The students in the classroom on the other side of the window looked at them in astonishment.
"Yes yes, I'm fine." He assured them. "So!" He said turning to Jimmy, "You decided to go with the portal idea after all? I like that, I like that very much! Going against the grind, that's how you become a real scientific genius! How would you like to be my new teaching assistant?"
"Wha-me?" Jimmy asked, startled by the proposition. "Uh, I'd be honored!"
Victor rolled his eyes. "Don't get too excited kid, it's not exactly a glamorous job. Speaking from experience he—"
Victor was cut off by the portal closing right between him and the others, trapping him inside the cell.
"What the… Remy!" AJ yelled at the rich boy, who had just clipped a wire behind the maintenance panel. "What do you think you're doing?!"
Remy stiffened. "I…I was, uh…" He stammered before sighing in frustration. "I was trying to mess with the portal to get revenge on the stupid squirrel teacher! I know she was doing something to mess me up in her class today, I just know it!"
"Young man, you are in big trouble!" Professor Professor scolded the rich kid as if he had just been caught stealing cookies out of the cookie jar, and not plotting to strand three of the teachers over being embarrassed in class. "Three nights of detention."
"But Professor Professor, what about Victor?" Anita asked worriedly.
"Oh, don't vorry about that, come vith me."
The balding scientist led them back to the classroom, where they could see Victor panicking inside the cell.
"Ach, Victor, don't be such a baby!" Professor Professor scolded. He reached inside his desk and pulled out a remote with a big red button on it. With a beep it opened the cell up along a sparking, glowing seam.
"WHAT!?" Everyone yelled in a mixture of anger and disbelief.
"YOU HAD A REMOTE TO OPEN THE THING THE WHOLE TIME!?" Victor asked angrily.
"You said it was impossible to open!" AJ recalled, "Why'd you lie to us?"
"Vell, vat vould you have learned then?" Professor Professor asked simply.
Author's Note: I know, it ends pretty abruptly. That's a shout out to how a lot of Secret Show episodes end. I'll tie up most of the loose ends next chapter which will come out who knows when. Hopefully sooner than 6 months this time.
