Happy April Fools Day everyone I hope you all die a horrible death. . . . Just kidding I hope you all live a long, long life where you attend the funerals of everyone you ever loved, through all the horror humanity has for you in the future and when you finally reach the end of your life you'll be stuck in the confines of your death bed with no one to comfort you but four white walls that surround you as you listen to the beeping of the monitor next to you go silent- dear lord I have absolutely no idea where that came from. . . Or why that seems familiar. . .
I feel like hitting someone with a pie now. . . . A pie filled with rocks. . . And cobra venom. . . I am one messed up bastard
Well anyways, ignoring my craziness of the moment (I have absolutely no idea why I wrote that) I'll let you get to reading, enjoy
Yo big bro come here for a second *Walks off with a pie in hand*
It was late in the afternoon as Death was sitting in his classroom finishing off the mound of paperwork he's been doing since morning as it was due early tomorrow morning. While Death was working he kept feeling a nagging sensation in the back of his mind telling him he forgot something. Something that he should really get to and break it into a million pieces before it does any harm
Death put down his pen as he drummed his fingers against his desk, the odd feeling in the back of his head nagging at him greatly still. Death turned to his window to look outside to see some students, including Yang, carrying stuff with shit eating grins on their faces as they ran away from several angry students for what reason he doesn't care
Death raised a brow behind his mask as he felt he should start caring for some reason. The nagging feeling he had came back in full force as Death scratched his head furiously trying to remember what the reason he felt this nagging sensation
Death pulled out his Scroll and decided to call his sister to see if she knew what about today just annoyed him. Death was about to call her but stopped when he looked at the date. He continued to stare as the date was plain as can be on his Scroll
April 1
". . . . . . .Well fuck me" Death cursed as he remembered what today and let out a groan. Death shook his head as he decided to finish his work before dealing with the nonsense that is Strife and April fools
.
.
That is before he found all the written work he has done for the past several hours were now gone from the papers he just filled out. Death stared down at the blank papers before looking over to his pen and picked it up. Death looked at the pen before turning it over to see something that caused his eyes to twitch
Invisible Ink: Guaranteed to disappeared after a few hours of use
Death started twitching as he read the words on the pen
"Hey dad can you come out here for a-" Ruby said walking into his room before quickly shutting up when Death fired Redemption at her as it hit the wall an inch from her face "Never mind I'll just go now" Ruby said quickly as she ran out of the classroom
Death stared back down at the blank pages before he took in a deep, deep, deep breath
"I swear Strife if this is one of your stupid pranks, I'm going to hang you by your legs from the top of a flagpole" Fury threatened her brother who had a mock look of pain on his unmasked face
"Oh so cruel sister, how could you think of me like that" Strife said over dramatically
"Because you're an ass, that's why" Fury deadpanned as Strife just laughed in response "But seriously, what is it that you-"
"SSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Fury was cut off by the rage induced yell that echoed throughout Vale as perched birds flew away from the city out of pure instinct to get away from the city. People who were walking by the streets cowered and hugged each other in fear, windows shattered in a specific shape of a skull
Fury picked her ears as the ringing from the shout was still in her ears as she turned to Strife "Really brother" Fury deadpanned at his brother who was snickering
"It's not done just yet" Strife laughed as he pulled out a knife and began to tug a near invisible thread
"Wait, how long have you been planning this" Fury asked as she leaned back in her chair in horror at what he's about to do
"About two months" Strife said tugging the thread and cutting it as he propped his feet on the table, began sipping a margarita and decided to wait for the show as a T.V appeared from the table showing Death's location
Death ran out of his classroom in a flurry of rage as students walking down the hall pressed themselves against the walls to get as far away from him. Death then turned the corner before he felt himself step on something. Death looked down to see he was standing on a pressure plate. He heard the click of a machine as the walls opened up was several pies were thrown at him. Death jumped up high in the air and dodged the pies before hearing another click. He turned to look up to see several more pies were being thrown at him from the ceiling. Death shot an aura grab at the end of the hall as he was flinged out of the way from the downpour of pies
Death landed in a crouch as he landed in front of the door outside. He was about to open it but stopped, aura grabbed a student to stand next to him. He then grabbed the students hand and forced the student to open the door as the poor student was shocked with several hundred volts of lightning dust. Once the door was open Death let go of the kid who fell onto the ground, charred to a crisp with smoke coming off the poor student's body.
Death walked out the door and disarmed the prank on the other side as he walked down the pathway towards the airdocks. Death then stopped mid-step when he realized there was a wire trap down at his foot that was about to snap. Death slowly lowered his foot as the trap's tension lessen and returned back to it's normal state. Death calmly walked over several wire traps before making his way halfway only to look back to see a squirrel tripped one of the wires that caused a domino effect on the rest of them
"I hate nature" Death said as he calmly shot the squirrel for it's plain existence of living.
The entire sides of the pathway opened up as balloons filled with, what Death could guess was hot sauce, as it was flung into the air and down at Death. Death rolled out of the way from the first barrage and then ran towards the airdocks with balloons of hot sauce raining down at him. The balloons soon stopped falling as the sprinkler system seemingly turned on and at full blast as Death was sadly drenched in water.
Death with a twitching eye walked towards the airdocks and shot at anyone even thinking of snickering at him behind his back. Death let out a blast of aura off his body as the water evaporated to nothing as he arrived towards the airdocks but passed the dust ships. Death calmly walked toward the edge of the platform and walked off.
Death landed down at the bottom of the cliff of the Airdock and walked towards Vale. As he was walking down the street he dropped onto he sent out a pulse of aura to plot out the city. When he found two powerful aura's reverberating against the pulse in the feedback he turned towards that direction as he knew for certain that one of them was Strife.
Death was walking in a brisk pace before stopping when several cats were going towards him "The fuck?" Death muttered as they started rubbing against his legs "Okay, what the hell is going" Death muttered before his heightened senses picked up something. He sniffed the air before sniffing around his body before realizing something ". . . . That wasn't water I was hit with" Death muttered dryly
Death soon noticed dogs were soon running towards him along with birds, rats, and any other variant of animals. Death kicked the cats that were on his legs off as he aura grabbed his way up a building away from the meowing, barking, etc. animals down below
"Damn bastard changed the water in the sprinkling system with incredibly concentrated animal pheromones. . . That motherfucker!" Death shouted in rage as he looked around to see a pond the middle of a park in the distance "I am going to kill him" Death muttered as he jumped off the roof and onto another one. Death continued to roof hop until he got to the edge of the last building and put all the force in the jump as he launched into the air before descending. He fell through the air and was about to hit the water's surface before several figures popped out from the water's surface with open jaws
". . . . I'm going to kill him" Death said angrily as he dropped into a crocodile filled pond in a big splash. Several bubbles appeared on the surface of the pond before going still as a few seconds went by before Death appeared on the surface of the water while wrestling three crocodiles "Where the hell did he even get these damn things!" Death shouted as two more crocodiles appeared out of the water and dragged him down into the pond
". . . . . Where did you get the crocodiles. . Wait, no better question is: Where the hell did you get all the stuff and how the hell did you set up all this in a way only Death could be follow" Fury said gesturing to the T.V screen on the table as it showed Death slitting the throats of several crocodiles. Some tried to escape from the his grasp by getting to land but Death calmly waded over to them and grabbed them by their tails as as they struggled in his grip as he pulled them back into the water.
"Like I said, I prepared for two months for this day" Strife said calmly while taking a sip of his fifth margarita
"But all the hidden traps, the wires, the pressure plates. How the hell did you install of all those without anyone knowing?!" Fury asked in complete confusion
"Don't forget the dye in the water" Strife said with a smug smile
"Wait, what d-" Fury didn't finish that sentence as Strife pulled out a remote detonator and pushed the red button on top
The two looked back at the T.V as Fury looked at the screen in horror
"YOU DIDN'T!" Fury screamed in pure horror
"Yu~p" Strife said with a smug shit eating grin
Death walked out of the water while dragging a crocodile corpse and tossing it aside before continuing moving towards Strife's location. Death walked down the street angrily as people parted as they usually did but most laughed or snickered, Death wondered why before looking to his side to see a store's window and his reflection from the unbroken part of the window. In a split second Death stopped walking and turned his head to stare at his reflection. Death stared a good long minute before taking deep breaths filled with unadulterated rage
From his head to his feet, he was pink. . . Bright. Neon. Pink
Death's eye twitched before his body started to shake as his aura flailed around his body violently that caused the ground beneath him to crack. His body shifted as his aura wrapped around him before it turned into a haze of purple mist that soon shot up high into the air.
"Well shit" Strife said mostly to himself as he looked up at the smoking purple comet that was heading towards him "Guess he reached his boiling point. Shame, I had several more pranks for him to fall into, oh well" Strife said with a shrug
"How are you so calm when you are going to be beaten to an inch of your life" Fury asked in shock
"Well it helps I have alcohol in my system" Strife said finishing his eleventh margarita "That and I also put several relaxants, pain relievers, and body numbing pills into my drinks" Strife said picking up a bag and shook it as it rattle for emphasis of how much he was putting in his drinks "I can't even feel my toes at the moment with all the drugs I put in there" Strife said with a loopy laugh
"And yet you can still drink and talk" Fury said dryly
The ground next to them cracked and parted as their seats along with the table jumped up a foot in the air before dropping back them. Next to them was a smoldering miniature crater that Death walked up from in his Reaper form
"Hey Death" Strife said before he was grabbed by Death's giant hand by his throat and was brought to Death's face "April. Fools" Strife struggled to say as Death tightened his grip on Strife's throat "Come now, it was just fun, no harm done. Right" Strife said as Death's shadow loomed over him
Two hours later
Death was grumbling angrily as he stood in the shower with the shower head at full blast as water rained down furiously onto his pink body. Sadly it seems the dye seeped into clothing and into his skin underneath. Death was currently scrubbing as as hard as he can, to the point that he's contemplating whether he should just rip his skin off and just regrow it instead.
"I brought the bottle of dye removal, you wouldn't believe how hard it was to find it. Apparently Strife bought up all the bottles in the city and I was only lucky to find one that they had in the back" Fury stated as she walked into the bathroom as Death opened the shower curtains a bit and held his hand out for the bottle
"Thank you" Death muttered dryly as Fury placed the bottle of dye removal in his hands as Death returned to scrubbing ferociously with the lotion in hand
"You have to admit, when he puts his mind to it he can be a force to reckon with" Fury mused as Death let out a angry grumble "But hey, he got what was coming to him" Fury said lightly with a shrug
"So what did you do?" Ruby asked her bloody mangled nearly unrecognizable form of her uncle that was hanging upside down on the flagpole while being pinned to it by his unmentionables by a lance that made everyone who walked by flinch in horror
"The most, stupidest thing, I have ever done" Strife said in the most hoarse voice possible with half of his jaw missing along with a portion of his teeth and tongue
"You going to be okay?" Ruby asked as she couldn't take him down because there was a note stabbed into his chest with a knife that says
Leave the idiot to rot, if you take him down I'll find you and put you up in his place- Death
"Yeah, it'll take me about two days with the damage he put onto me to heal enough to pull this out of me" Strife said as he would gesture to the lance but couldn't as he couldn't feel his right arm while his left arm was just a stump "It'll also take me awhile to regrow my limbs he ripped off, some of my organs, one of my eyes, but thankfully my tongue he ripped out before setting inside of my mouth on fire is healing quite nicely" Strife said coughing up blood that Ruby moved away from the bloodied man "What a great day" Strife said before passing out from the blood loss which most of it was beneath him in a giant puddle
". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sometimes I wonder if it was wise to admit I want to be part of this family" Ruby said with a huff before walking away wondering what god would put her with these crazy, yet lovable people
Well I was punched in the face. . .Worth it to see his enraged expression
Well I hope you all have a wonderful April Fools day, try not to get too much into trouble. See you all later
