I woke up the next morning with Zack's arm still around me. I slid out carefully to not wake him up and went to the bathroom.
I starred at myself in the mirror. I couldn't believe that just yesterday I had gotten rapped. I had no clue who the people were. I never saw their faces. They wore ski masks' over their faces; I just remembered the four hands going all over my body.
I rushed to the toilet throwing up all I ate yesterday. I threw up everything in my stomach. I felt like I was throwing up my intestines before I fell to the cold floor too sore to move.
I laid like that for abut an hour, until I heard mom rummaging around in the kitchen. I stood up weakly feeling like I was walking on Jell-O and slowly made my way back to the room.
When I closed the door quietly behind me and looked over I saw Zack sitting up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looked at me before saying "Dude, don't take this personal, but you look like crap."
"Man I feel like crap," I whispered raspy getting into my bed, curling up into my cover.
I felt him put a hand on my shoulder as he asked, "Are you sure you don't want to tell me what happened? I can help."
"I'm not sure if you can help Zack," I mumbled.
"Why don't you let me try? Come on Codes, just tell me what happened."
"You have no idea how bad I want to tell you Zack, I just can't. At least not right now, right now I need time. I will tell you, I promise, I just need time right now though. Okay?" I asked.
"Sure buddy. I'll be here when you need me 'kay?" I nodded as I burrowed deeper into the cover hoping to disappear into think air.
About an hour later both Zack and I were walking to school since Zack decided to be slow and made us miss the bus. As we got closer to the ally were it happened I slowly got on the other side of Zack. I didn't want to make it obvious that I was afraid of that ally.
I looked down it and gasped, stopping in my tracks. The two guys were there just sitting there. I knew it was them. I could tell by the eyes, the hard cold brown eyes that were burned permanently into my brain.
Now I remembered those eyes. When they were raping me I kept seeing those familiar eyes, I just couldn't remember until now. They were the kids that use to beat me up in middle school. They must have dropped out from school, but I still remembered all that crap they put me through then. They would always take my money to by things to throw on me or half the time for smokes. I saw the taller one give me a grin and wave before Zack pulled me away.
"Dude, what's your problem, we're going to be late. And I really don't want to get another detention with that lady that smells like boiled cabbage."
I mumbled a 'nothing' before following him to school.
I didn't pay attention to anything in class. I daydreamed the whole day away. I knew I would pay dearly for that, but at that point I really didn't care. I just really wanted to get away from everyone constantly bumping into me in the hallways. I couldn't stand people touching me.
When I got home things didn't get any better either. I did me homework which I was surprised I remembered and went to bed even though it was only like 7 o'clock.
That was pretty much how the whole week went. I would get up go to school, daydream, homework, and sleep. I never did anything else, just those things.
I started avoiding that ally that those two boys were always at. Even if I missed the bus I would take the long way just to avoid making eye contact or seeing them.
One evening when I got home though, I didn't do my homework; I went straight into the bathroom. I was tired of bottling it all up. I knew I could, should tell Zack, I just wasn't ready yet.
I rummaged through the drawers until I found one of mom's disposable razors and cut out one of the blades with a pair of scissors.
I had cut three gashes along my arm, watching the blood drip down my arm and was about to make another one when I heard the door open.
I knew I had forgotten something! How could be so stupid to forget to lock the door! I was doomed!
"Cody! What are you doing!?" I looked up and saw fear in their eyes.
