I jerked awake breathing hard. I hated those stupid nightmares. I couldn't go one night without having one, replaying that night in my mind over and over.

I had finally fallen asleep about an hour ago after I talked to mom and Zack for hours. Mom wanted to know every single thing that happened between that night and now. So finally after I convinced her to not do anything about it we all went to sleep about twelve or one in the morning.

It took a lot to convince her to not do anything though. I had to remind her that it happened almost a month ago and that Zack had taken care of it, even though I still don't know what he did to those guys. She finally agreed to just let it go, but we had to talk about it all more later on today.

I looked at the clock and saw the numbers 3:15 blinking back at me. It was funny how I always had a nightmare around that time.

I got up and was about to head to the bathroom when I heard Zack call my name. I cursed myself for not being quieter and answered, "Yeah?"

"Where are you going?" he asked sleepily sitting up. I didn't want to get him involved in my nightmares; he always ended up suffering from it by losing sleep.

"Uh, I just had another nightmare. I'm just going to get some water or something." I said opening the door.

"Close the door and come over here," he said rubbing his eyes.

I quietly closed the door and walked over toward his bed as he scooted over and lay back down. I climbed into his bed as he put his arms around me and pulled me closer to him.

"You know I had to tell mom don't you? I mean you were getting out of control, you were scaring me." he whispered.

"I know," I admitted quietly. "I just couldn't stop. I thought forcing everyone out and keep it all bottled in would help, but in the end it just made the explosion worse."

"Why try and keep us away?" he asked, but I knew what he was really asking. He was really asking why I forced him away from me.

I sighed before saying, "Because I saw what me waking you up in the middle of the night was doing to you. You looked horrible. You were barley getting any sleep; I just didn't want to keep doing that to you."

"Cody, have you looked in the mirror at all lately? You look way worse than I ever did. You look like you're about to drop dead any moment." He said tightening his grip on me.

"I'm sorry," I said closing my eyes.

"Hey, look at me," he said pulling my chin up as I opened my eyes, "You have nothing to be sorry for, not for having this happen to you, or for having to wake me up. I would rather you wake me up after you have a nightmare instead of you staying up all night, alright?"

"Okay," I said closing my eyes again.

I heard Zack sigh loudly. "Why won't you talk? I mean I'm trying everything to help you, but you keep shutting me out!" he said frustratingly getting up from the bed and pacing.

I got up also saying, "I'm sorry, it's just hard alright?"

"Hard? How is it hard Cody? I'm your twin, you tell me everything!"

"No, I don't," I whispered looking down.

"What?" he asked walking over to me.

"I said you don't" I repeated trying to walk away but Zack grabbed my arm. This time I couldn't keep the cry from coming out when he dug his fingers into my cuts. After he heard my scream of pain, Zack shoved my sleeves up and starred wide-eyed at it.

"When did you start cutting again?" he whispered.

"I never stopped! Guess that shows how much you know me!" I said ripping my arm from his grip. I didn't want to be saying this, I just couldn't stop myself. I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't stop.

Once I started I couldn't stop. It was like I was a time bomb and my time had run out and I was exploding and Zack was caught in the crossfire.

I saw his face pale as he turned his back and said, "I guess I don't."