Author's notes: I can't believe I actually finished this chapter. I thought I'd be in a hiatus by now (kidding).
Just to clear things up, the characters are slightly OOC because I patterned their personalities on their shugo charas (after all, they are their would-be selves, right?). For instance, Amu is friendly and genki-genki because of Ran, artistic and levelheaded because of Miki, and domestically-skilled because of Su. So here, Nagihiko is a bit playful because I tried to consider how Rhythm was like. (Or maybe I'm just horrible at characterizations, and I'm making excuses.)
Anyway, this chapter would establish Tadase's feelings and would give a glimpse on Ikuto and Amu's relationship. Please enjoy!
Tadase felt a faint vibration accompanied by a familiar tune on his desk. He groaned a bit as he lifted his lethargic body from the bed to scavenge for the ringing phone. He glanced at the wall clock above him and discovered that it was just around seven in the morning. Who could be calling at this time? When he got hold of his phone, he noticed that the number calling was not registered in it. Nevertheless, he still answered.
"Hello?"
"Is this Hotori-kun?" the voice from the other line asked.
"Yes. What can I do for you?" Tadase yawned.
"Hey! I heard you're back in Japan. I can't believe it's true!" the caller exclaimed.
"Who is this?" his eyes were fully awaken now.
"What? You can't remember?"
"Sorry, I really can't,"
"Can you remember now?" the caller's deep and manly voice earlier suddenly turned gentle and feminine. Tadase wondered for a second whether the caller had changed places with a woman. Then it dawned to him that he had this close friend who used to cross-dress back when they were still in elementary school.
"Fujisaki-kun?"
"It doesn't make me happy that you remember me for my girlish voice," Nagihiko chuckled.
"Oh, it's been a long time! How did you get my number?"
"From Amulet Heart,"
"Not funny,"
"Sorry, sorry. I know you've gotten over that." Nagihiko snickered softly. "Anyway, let's meet! How about we all go skiing today? My treat!"
"I can't. I have to work,"
"Come on! You didn't even contact us one bit when you went to Switzerland,"
Tadase responded with silence. It took him a few seconds to collect his thoughts and finally utter comprehensible words. "Sorry, I was really busy," he sighed.
"Oh really? Or was it because of Amulet Heart?"
"Can you stop it?"
"I'll stop if you join the three of us in the trip,"
"Three?"
"Me, my girlfriend, and Amu-chan,"
"You have a girlfriend?"
"You'll know if you come," Nagihiko grinned while Tadase contemplated a bit about the situation.
"Fine," he sighed again as he reached for his laptop. After some moments of hesitation, he finally emailed his coordinator to ask for a sick leave.
They decided to meet in front of Aoyama's Central Park at 10 AM. Tadase, due to his punctuality habit, arrived early. After a few more minutes, a car appeared in front of him. Nagihiko got off from the car and then quickly opened the passenger seat's door. Tadase found himself flabbergasted when he saw Rima come out of the vehicle.
"Hey, Hotori-kun!" Nagihiko waved after noticing his friend's presence.
"Your girlfriend is Mashiro-san?" Tadase took a quick glance at Rima then at Nagihiko.
"Yeah, we're together. We're already going out for eight years," Nagihiko put his hand around Rima's shoulder. Rima felt her cheeks blush before she gradually removed her boyfriend's hand from her shoulder.
"Congratulations! I'm happy for the both of you," Tadase clapped. Nagihiko gazed at Rima and held his girlfriend's hand. They gave each other a tender smile. Soon after their little moment, Rima shifted her attention to the friend she hadn't seen for years.
"Hotori-kun, how have you been?" she spoke with a gentle tone as usual.
"I'm doing great. I'm back in Japan for good," he replied.
Their little chitchat was however disrupted by a straining voice nearing them. "Everyone! Sorry, I'm late! My boss was giving me a hard time,"
"Amu," Rima's eyes brightened up after seeing her closest friend.
"Hey everyone!" Amu acknowledged her friends with a huge smile. Several months had passed since she hung out with the love birds and of course, Tadase, so she was very ecstatic with the skiing trip today.
"Let's go?" Nagihiko asked them. "Amu-chan, join Hotori-kun in his car. Rima-chan will be with me,"
"Okay, let's go then!" Amu happily exclaimed while Tadase helped her carry her luggage to his car.
They arrived at Niigata Prefecture past two in the afternoon. After eating at a nearby restaurant, they headed to Kagura to check-in and leave their belongings. The place was relatively tranquil and uncrowded while the snow was as white and soft as powder. All of them were wearing thick coats to combat the shivering cold temperature. With their skiing equipment, Tadase and Nagihiko headed to the snow terrain.
"Hotori-kun, I only reserved two rooms,"
"What?"
"Of course, Rima-chan and I would be staying in one room. You and Amu-chan would share the other room,"
"Seriously?"
"I was just kidding," Nagihiko laughed. "But that made you a bit happy, right?"
"When will you stop?" Tadase threw a ball of snow to his friend. Nagihiko snickered at his friend's reaction before taking a plunge to the snow with his skiing gear. Meanwhile, Rima and Amu chose to ride the gondola to enjoy the resort's scenery.
"Amu, how are the two of you?" Rima spoke in a soft yet concerned tone.
"Well, Tadase-kun and I are slowly gaining the close relationship we once had,"
"No, I'm not talking about Hotori-kun. You know who I'm talking about,"
"I…" Amu sighed. "I'm not sure anymore,"
"Don't worry, we're here for you," Rima hugged Amu when she saw her friend's pained expression. After a few hours of enjoying the snow, they found themselves very hungry. It was around six in the afternoon when they returned to the lodge together to eat dinner.
"How have you all been while I was gone?" Tadase started the conversation.
"I'm still doing Noh," Nagihiko responded. "But I dance other genre as well. Sometimes, I choreograph performances of different Hiphop dance groups,"
"Wow, you really pursued dancing," Tadase then looked at Rima. "How about you, Mashiro-san?"
"I'm a gag concert performer," Rima replied immediately.
"Really?" Tadase could not believe it. True, at first glance, Rima seemed very reserved. The thought of her following her dream of performing as a comedian was incredible. "I'm happy that both of you pursued your dreams,"
"All of us pursued our dreams. Even Souma-kun," Nagihiko remarked.
"How is he? I haven't heard anything from him for ages," Tadase asked.
"He is competing in a soccer tournament somewhere in US. I think her popstar girlfriend is with him,"
"Popstar girlfriend?"
"Hoshina Utau. She's big in Japan right now,"
"That's great to hear! I'm sure Ikuto-nii-san would be proud of her,"
Their conversation went on, but Amu remained silent. She fished through her pocket to feel her starfish keychain. Whenever lonely memories crossed her mind, she would always grip that keychain to release stress. Her heart sank when she realized that the keychain was missing.
"I think I'll head outside for a while," Amu suddenly blurted out. Without hesitation, she got up and went outside to look for the missing keychain.
After Amu was gone, the other three decided to separate as well. Rima and Nagihiko wandered inside the shops of the lodge to look for souvenirs while Tadase headed outside. Amu was just a few meters away from the lodge, so it was easy for Tadase to spot her.
"What are you doing?" Tadase approached Amu. She was in a crouching position and was digging holes on the ground using a branch of a tree.
"You startled me," Amu turned her head up to face Tadase. "I lost my starfish keychain,"
"Oh, let me help you find it," Tadase crouched beside her.
"No need! It's getting colder anyway. Let's just go back," With that, Amu stood and started taking a few steps back to the lodge. Tadase confusingly followed her to the lobby where both of them rested and chatted for a while.
"I really lost it, huh," Amu heaved out a deep sigh.
"I guess you could ask your landlady for another key?" Tadase tried to comfort Amu.
"I'm not searching for it because of the key," Amu's eyes looked at Tadase sadly. "When Tsukasa gave that starfish keychain to me in the Road of Stars, I realized something very important,"
"What is it?"
"I realized that I had feelings for Ikuto," Amu looked up as if recounting every fragment of her memories. "I'm not sure if that was love, but I'm sure that he was very special to me,"
Tadase remained silent. He felt a dizzying pain in his heart, but he still managed to smile.
"That starfish keychain was a symbol of that realization, but now… it's gone," Amu felt slender tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "Just like the two of us now,"
"You can tell me everything that happened," Tadase reached for his friend's hand as if to reassure her that everything will be alright.
"You may not know this, but after you left for Switzerland, I confessed to Ikuto about my feelings. At that time, I didn't know how to define our relationship. He was still waiting for me to grow up before we can be 'officially' together. But after a month, Ikuto moved to France with his family for college," Amu started speaking again.
"Was it difficult?"
"I thought if we loved each other enough, it would be easy. At the first few weeks, we were able to talk online every day. But then our school requirements soon made us very busy, so we could not keep up with that routine. The time difference made it even more difficult,"
"What happened after? Did the two of you lose communication?"
"We soon came to a point that we could only talk twice a month, and exchange emails in between. I was contented with just that until I reached college. Ikuto wanted to return to Japan. He was so excited," she chuckled a bit. "But one time, when he was playing music with his friends along the streets of Paris, he was approached by a famous conductor. He was asked to join in this famous orchestra, so he had to cancel his trip back here,"
"So I'm guessing that because of that, he became very busy,"
"Totally! He had to spend all of his free time training while he had to perform every evening. It doesn't help that they usually travel around Europe to perform. Eventually, we only had to rely on email exchange," she looked sad again. "Ikuto said in his emails that he was having fun, so I couldn't tell him my real feelings,"
"Do you still contact him?"
"I still do until he was chosen to become a solo performer in the orchestra. He was busy and exhausted to the point that he could not even open his computer. He could not even eat right. Poor Ikuto,"
"Did he reply ever since then?"
"No, he didn't. After I congratulated him for his first successful performance as a soloist, he did not respond anymore. It has been several months since then,"
Both of them fell into silence until Amu stood up and faced Tadase with hands on her waist.
"You know what, losing this keychain might be a sign that I should move on. I should find myself a better man!" Amu was beaming with a smile, but Tadase could see the sorrow from her eyes. "Let's go back to our rooms?"
"I guess I'll stay a bit. I love the scenery here," Tadase replied while looking at the falling snow outside. With that, Amu gestured a short wave and returned to her room alone.
"Hotori-kun, what are you doing outside at this time?" Nagihiko shivered as he stood beside Tadase.
"Just go back to sleep," Tadase continued digging through the snow while in a kneeling position.
"I won't go back unless you're with me,"
"I can't. I'm searching for something,"
"Just do it tomorrow! It's freezing cold here. What are you searching for anyway?"
"It's Amu-chan's keychain. Why don't you help me find it?"
"Are you kidding me? You're gonna risk yourself in this cold for a tiny keychain?"
"It's very important for her,"
"But you don't have to die of hypothermia for it. That's why as I said, let's look for it tomorrow,"
Tadase remained silent and continued looking for the keychain. By just watching at what seemed to be a pathetic scene for him, Nagihiko realized his friend's real feelings and intentions.
"Don't tell me…" Nagihiko's voice trailed off. Tadase dusted off the snow on his pants and stood up. He glanced at his friend then shifted his gaze at the night sky.
"What?! I joke around and all, but I didn't expect you to be serious about it. You're really not over it?" Nagihiko raised his voice a bit.
"Maybe this is a punishment for what I did at that time," Tadase smiled sadly. "I was an idiot when I told her I liked Amulet Heart. I hurt her,"
"But isn't she the same? She only liked your outer character. Or have you forgotten about that?" Nagihiko paused to breathe. "Do you still love her?"
"How do you even know if you love someone?" Tadase asked. "There are people who wake up one morning and realize they're already in love. But you know what, I think my feelings for Amu-chan are different,"
"What are you trying to say?"
"Loving Amu-chan is not a sudden realization. It's my decision," Tadase started to walk back to the lodge while Nagihiko followed him. After getting cups of coffee from a nearby vending machine, they sat down at the sofa chairs of the lobby and resumed talking.
"When our shugo chara disappeared, I realized that the person I am now and the person I was before are two different sides of me, but they are both me. Amu-chan has different sides, too. The Amu-chan when she is with her family, the Amu-chan when she is with her friends, the Amu-chan when she is with me, and of course, the Amu-chan when she is with Ikuto-nii-san… I think she has always been her real self when she is with him,"
"Are you jealous?"
"I am, but that's not the point," Tadase laughed shortly. "The point is, all of her sides including her fake self and her real self are both Amu-chan. This is why you can never know a person fully. There will always be sides of her that I, or even Ikuto-nii-san, would not and would never know. Like for instance, her childhood past before transferring to Seiyo, how she behaved, who her friends were…"
"Wow, I never thought about that,"
"But if that's the case, then how could you say you love a person entirely if you don't even know all of her past or all of the sides of her personality?" Tadase took a sip of coffee. "That's when I realized that love is a decision. You just decide that you love her. Even when the butterflies in your stomach had already faded away, even when what she showed you wasn't the real her, and even when she couldn't reciprocate your love, you continue on loving her. That's because loving her is what you have decided,"
"I see. You've really grown up," Nagihiko smiled. "But of all the people, why her?"
"That I can't totally rationalize. I guess I'm a half painting that can only be completed by her. Of course, I can't say for sure because that's only something I believe in,"
"I don't know if that kind of love would bear fruit, but I hope the best for you," Nagihiko patted his friend's back. "Okay, I won't tease you anymore,"
"Thanks," Tadase chuckled. "Oh, I have a favor,"
The next morning, the lobby was quiet as usual. As they were preparing to check out, Amu approached Tadase with a grin plastered on her face.
"Tadase-kun! Look at what Rima gave me," Amu showed him the starfish keychain she lost last night. "Rima found it on our side table. I must have forgotten. Silly me,"
"Good for you," Tadase replied happily.
"Thanks for trying to find it with me last night,"
When Amu expressed a genuine smile, Tadase felt his heart warm up. After checking out from the hotel, the pairs decided to part ways. As they travel back home, Tadase could not help but take glances at Amu who had been very cheerful ever since she retrieved her starfish keychain back. A smile really suits you the best, he thought as he drove back home while enduring the frostnips on his fingers.
Author's additional notes: I know that it's lazy writing, but hey, at least I tried. Anyway, the fortune-telling with Tsukasa will happen in the next chapter. I just hope I'm not too busy this month, so I can finish it as soon as possible. /cries
