Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I appreciated them so much. I know that this is a hard time for Finchel, but they aren't alone, and I know I want them to eventually have kids (aren't my other stories proof of that?) Enjoy this chapter and review if I should keep going.
Chapter 24: Holding On
Finn looked around the room. He knew that he and Rachel needed to talk to their parents - something they hadn't done really lately. Now that emotions were high, their relationships with their parents were already strained, and they could get even worse if they didn't talk soon. He finally managed to speak. "Guys, thanks for being here, but could you step outside for a few minutes? I think Rachel and I need some time with our parents."
"Yeah, of course," Kurt said as the other young adults left the room, leaving Finn and Rachel with their parents.
Finn noticed Rachel looking upset and uneasy, and he held her hand as he looked around the room, trying to think of the right thing to say. "Thank you all for coming here and being here for us."
"Of course we did," Carole said. "You're our children..." She looked uneasy, knowing that Finn and Rachel couldn't say that they had a child anymore.
"We're so sorry about what happened," Burt said. "Carole and I have both lost a spouse, but we can't imagine losing a child... and that's what happened to you two."
"Maybe the child was never going to be ours," Rachel said softly, finally speaking.
Finn's heart broke hearing her say that. He knew that this was probably going to be even harder for her than it was for him because she had been the one carrying the child.
"We never got to see the child, or hold him or her," Finn said. "We never found out what he or she looked like, or even if it was a boy or a girl..."
"I'm so sorry you never got to experience those things," Carole said.
"I know that you wanted us to give the child up for adoption, but Finn and I loved our baby," Rachel said tearfully.
"Of course you did," Hiram said.
Finn reached out for another tissue. He and Rachel were both okay physically, but they'd lost their first child they had together. He knew they'd have more children in the future, but this was the first one. They could never have another first child.
"You two are going to have more children," LeRoy said. "There's going to be a day that you're going to be the best parents ever."
Finn finally managed to say the thing he'd been thinking. "I was worried you guys would be happy this happened."
The parents all looked shocked. "Finn, you really thought that?" Burt asked.
"You didn't want us to keep the baby and Rachel and I really wanted to," Finn said.
"Well, it's not that we didn't want you to keep the baby," Burt said. "We just wanted you to think about what was the best option."
"It doesn't matter, our baby is gone," Rachel sighed, looking down at her stomach.
Finn held Rachel's hand tightly. "I'm sorry for how we acted earlier," Finn sighed. "When we were in Lima and how we were so rude..."
"Hey, you two are young," Carole said. "I wasn't much older than you guys when I had you... and with everything with your dad, it was tough..."
"You did really well with me, Mom," Finn said.
"I like to think so," Carole said. "But you guys did get us thinking. We were looking into things, and we wanted to wait to tell you, but we did some research and we thought you could have kept the baby."
"Really?" Finn asked. That almost made things hurt more.
"You two do have jobs, and you're mature and responsible for your age," Burt said. "Rachel only has a year left of school, and you'd probably be able to get jobs after graduation..."
"Let's not think about it," Rachel said. "We lost our child."
"Baby, I'm so sorry," Hiram said.
The door opened, and Shelby came in. Rachel looked up. "Hi Mom."
Shelby came to the bedside. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." She gave Rachel a hug. "Both your sisters send their love."
Rachel smiled weakly, and Finn managed to smile as well. Shelby had been supportive of them since the beginning.
"I was hoping that even if we did give the baby up, we could have had with Kylie and I have with you, or what Beth has with Puck and Quinn," Rachel sighed.
"I know you were," LeRoy said. "And you could have done that."
Thinking about what they could have done with the baby only made Finn feel more sad. He didn't know what to say or even what to think. Why did this have to happen to him and Rachel?
"Are you two feeling okay?" LeRoy finally asked. "We were really worried about you when we heard..."
"We're fine," Finn sighed. Sure, they were sore, but that was nothing compared to the sadness they felt. "I'm sure we'll be able to go home before long."
"Do you want us to stay?" Carole asked.
Finn wasn't sure. He knew how much his parents loved him, but the relationships had been on shaky ground lately. "We'll let you know." He looked over at Rachel, who was being extra quiet. "I mean, we're going to have to get back to school and work soon so..."
"Don't worry about school and work right now, Finn," Burt said.
"But the glee club has Nationals in less than two months," Finn sighed.
"You have plenty of professionals who've won Nationals who can help until you're ready to go back," Hiram said.
"Yeah, I guess," Finn said.
"I guess I'll be going to Seattle after all," Rachel sighed. Finn knew that normally Rachel would be happy to be going, but she was supposed to be getting ready for the birth of their child while in Seattle... this was all too much. "Can I have some time alone with Finn?" Rachel asked.
"Of course," Hiram said as he, LeRoy, Shelby, Burt and Carole left the room.
Rachel started crying on Finn's shoulder as soon as their parents were gone. Finn rubbed Rachel's back, not knowing what else to do. He felt horrible right now. He'd never felt worse in his entire life. Nothing he or Rachel or anyone could do or say would bring the baby back.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asked Finn.
"I will be," Finn said.
"Good," Rachel said as she kissed Finn. "I'm so, so sorry Finn..."
"Hey, you weren't driving the car that hit us," Finn said. "I don't understand why all this happened to us..."
"Me either," Rachel admitted. "I was hoping that you and me and our baby could be a family..."
"So was I," Finn said.
"I'm sorry," Rachel continued. "When our parents were here, I didn't know what to say."
"What do you mean?" Finn asked.
"I know they're our parents and they love us," Rachel said. "But I can't help but be upset about everything... they didn't want us to keep the baby... were they just saying those things now because we lost the baby?"
Finn didn't want to think that way. "Don't think that way, Rach..."
"I love you so much," Rachel said, snuggling closer to Finn.
x
Finn and Rachel were released from the hospital the day after the accident. They knew that this meant that they were supposed to return to their regular lives, to school and work, but that was going to be tough. Finn had asked the other New Directions alumni in New York to work with the glee club for the next few days, and they'd also asked their supervisor at the diner to find someone else to cover their shifts. Their parents were still in town.
When they arrived back at their apartment, Finn and Rachel saw that it wasn't only their roommates in the apartment. Sam, Artie, Tina and Mercedes were there too - along with Puck, Quinn, Mike and Brittany. "What are you guys doing here?" Finn asked as they came in.
"We wanted to come to see if you were doing okay," Puck said, coming over and patting Finn's back. "We know what it's like to have the child you had for a few months not be yours anymore... not in the same way of course, but you know... and we were worried about you when Santana called."
"Yeah, and it was my spring break, anyway, so I wanted to come to New York and be with Tina," Mike added. "I'm glad I'm here, so I can be with you now."
"It's my break, too, so when I heard everyone else was coming, I thought I'd come, too," Brittany added. "Lord Tubbington the Second said he's really sorry for your loss."
Finn and Rachel both managed to laugh, something they hadn't done much lately. "Thank you all for being here," Finn said.
"You two are loved," Tina said.
"Yeah, Kitty said everyone in the glee club is really worried about you guys," Artie said. "I hope you don't mind that I told her..."
"Hey, I don't keep things from Rachel," Finn said.
"Yeah, I was going to ask Kylie to tell everyone, anyway," Rachel sighed.
"Anything we can do for you guys?" Quinn asked.
"I kind of want to lie down for a little, but I'll be back soon," Rachel said. She was grateful for her friends coming, but she just wanted a little time to herself right now. She didn't have much energy and she was still processing everything.
"Okay, well we're here if you need us," Kurt said.
Rachel managed to smile before going into her and Finn's bedroom. Finn followed her in. "Hey babe..."
"Hi," Rachel said, giving Finn a hug. "You don't have to be so strong you know." Finn had been on the lookout for her ever since they found out about the baby, and she wanted him to look after himself right now.
Finn snuggled up to Rachel. "Baby... I thought I was going to lose you..."
"Lose me?" Rachel asked. "I was worried I'd lose you in the accident, too..."
"Yeah, you're my life," Finn said as he looked at Rachel. "I'm just glad you're okay."
"I'm glad you're okay," Rachel sighed, still thinking about the other something that was not okay. She gave Finn a kiss. "We're going to have to get on with our lives... I was really hoping that we'd spend the rest of our lives with our child..." She'd never really lost someone before. Yes, she'd had relatives die, but they'd been distant relatives she didn't know very well.
"I feel so stupid," Finn admitted. "If we hadn't gotten in that taxi..."
"Finn, we didn't know," Rachel reminded her husband. "Don't blame yourself."
"Yeah, but our baby would still be here, and you and I wouldn't have gotten hurt," Finn rambled.
"Neither of us are too seriously injured," Rachel said. "Physically anyway." They were both more damaged mentally than anything. "I don't even know what to do or say, Finn."
"Me either," Finn sighed. He and Rachel lay silently together for a little while before they heard a knock on the door. Rachel got up and opened it, seeing Kurt and Santana there. "Hey," Rachel said, hugging her two best friends.
"What do you say we go out?" Santana asked. "We could all go to dinner or something."
"I'm not really hungry," Rachel sighed.
"Yeah, me either," Finn said from the bed.
"Finn Hudson, not hungry?" Kurt asked. "Come on guys, maybe going out would cheer you up a little."
"I'm not in the mood to go out," Rachel admitted.
"We're your friends," Santana said. "We want you guys to get better. You can't be sad all the time."
Rachel didn't have the energy to argue. Her friends hadn't lost their baby. But she knew they meant well. "Well, I guess we could go to dinner or something..."
"Yeah," Kurt said. "We should show Mike and Brittany some of our favorite places in New York."
"I guess it can't hurt," Finn said, getting up.
Finn and Rachel got up and walked into the living room, where their other firends were waiting. "There you are!" Blaine said.
"We'll probably go home a little earlier," Finn said.
"It's good for you to get out for a little," Sam said. "We were thinking we'd just go to Callbacks for dinner."
"Okay, but I'm not really in the mood to perform tonight," Rachel sighed.
"That's fine," Kurt said.
The group walked to Callbacks, Finn and Rachel lagging a little behind. Rachel knew her friends meant well, but she just wanted to be home right now.
The group arrived and sat down at one of the long tables, listening as other people performed karaoke. Rachel had to admit, it was nice to be out with her friends. Mike and Brittany filled everyone in on what was going on at Joffrey and U of Lima, and Puck and Quinn talked about plans for their wedding. Rachel's thoughts went back to the day she went with the girls to get dresses. Now she could just go get one...
Rachel's thoughts were interrupted when Kurt and Blaine's names were called. "Come on, let's go," Blaine said to the group.
"Like I said, Finn and I don't feel up to performing," Rachel sighed.
"It's fine," Kurt said. The group went up and looked at Finn and Rachel as they began performing.
Kurt: When you're down in troubles
And you need some love and care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Blaine: Close your eyes and think of me
And soon i will be there
Tina: To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
New Directions alumni: All you got to do is call
And I'll be there
Yes I will
You've got a friend
Puck: If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
Quinn: And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Santana: Soon you'll hear me knocking at your door
You just call out my name
Brittany: And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Mike: Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
Alumni: And I'll be there
Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
Sam: When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Mercedes: Oh, but don't you let them
You just call out my name
Artie: And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend
At the end of the song, Rachel and Finn smiled at each other, realizing that this had been for them. They went up to hug their friends. "Thank you," Rachel said.
"Yeah, thanks guys," Finn added.
"We love you!" Tina said.
x
When the group got home from Callbacks, their parents were in the apartment. "The rest of us are going to go to our apartment so you can be with your parents," Sam told Finn as Finn and Rachel went in.
"Hi," Finn said as he and Rachel walked in.
"Hi," Burt said. "We got a spare key from Kurt while your friends took you guys out."
"We do have good friends," Rachel admitted.
"You do," Carole agreed. "We were with you at the hospital yesterday, and we wanted to tell you that we do understand if you're upset with us."
"I guess we were a little bit forceful," Hiram admitted.
"It's okay," Rachel sighed. She didn't have the energy to be mad at her parents right now. "Finn and I shouldn't have gotten so angry..."
"We were never in your situation," Hiram said. "We were trying to be helpful."
"I know," Rachel said.
"You guys are going to be okay," Burt said. "I know that sounds unlikely now, but one day you will be."
"I hope we will," Finn admitted.
SONG: You've Got A Friend by Carole King
Chapter 25 preview: Finchel try to go back to school and their jobs, and also try to have a nice Easter in spite of what happened. They also get shocking news.
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