So we're more than half way through now and I just want to thank everyone for your reviews, they're always so nice! This is the first fanfic I've ever written that's gone above two chapters, so it's been quite exciting for me. I hope you've all enjoyed it so far too :)
Rita paused outside the entrance to the ED the next morning, heart in her mouth. There was a slight chill in the air, but she had never felt less like going indoors. She thought back briefly to yesterday evening; Dixie must have left after she'd fallen asleep. The paramedic had left a note to explain a few things - the plates were in the dishwasher, her keys were next to the toaster, and she shouldn't worry about work the next day. The last one, however, had an adverse effect on her nerves. Rita couldn't face her colleagues, not now they all knew. It was something far too private to share - too personal. More than anything she despised the inevitable sympathy that would surely be directed at her. She was there to work, nothing more.
"Rita!" Her eyes closed briefly as Robyn's voice called across the car park. It took a few moments for her to prepare a bright expression before she turned to the nurse, a smile plastered across her face. Her voice came out almost too cheerfully as she spoke.
"Robyn, hi."
"I..." For once, she seemed lost for words. Her gaze flitted from side to side, hesitant to meet Rita's gaze. Finally, Robyn settled on looking at her feet, clasping her hands in front of her.
"Look," Rita sighed at last. "The last thing I want is for you to be too scared to talk to me, so I'll spell it out for you. I have stage two ovarian cancer. I'm going for treatment, and yes, I will be fine."
Robyn appeared to be dumbfounded for a moment. And then the briefest of smiles flickered across her face. It was a reassuring one - something so very like the young nurse.
"I'm sorry, Rita. I didn't want to make you feel awkward or anything."
"Just forget about it, okay? I'm here to work, not to be pitied." She felt almost like a broken record, the number of times she had said that to people. It would only get worse as the day progressed.
Robyn nodded, looking a little awkward for a few moments before she muttered a quick 'see you later' and disappeared through the front entrance. Rita watched her go, cheerful demeanour slipping from her face before she followed the nurse inside.
"Are you sure she'll be here? I wouldn't blame her if she stayed well away - not after yesterday." Louise was stood at reception, facing the entrance as she spoke to Noel. Max, Lofty and Ethan had all stopped to listen.
"She's not one to shy away from things," Noel responded with a frown. "Remember after her husband ended up here?"
"Like anyone could forget. But this is different, isn't it?"
"Well..." Noel searched his head for an appropriate response, but he was saved from answering as Robyn hurried over.
"She's here!" The nurse sounded slightly flustered, and fumbled behind the front desk, as if she was looking for something. Louise let out an outraged cry.
"Don't touch anything! You know perfectly well that everything has to be kept in order." Her hands sat nearly at her hips, and she shot a glare at Robyn before adding as an afterthought, "it's in the third drawer down."
The nurse disappeared for a moment as she crouched to open the drawer, but she emerged again seconds later, a sealed envelope of a rather violent shade of purple clasped in her hands.
At that moment, Rita came into view. She approached reception apprehensively, searching the expressions of her friends; Louise appeared to be impassive at first, yet something in her eyes crumbled; Noel was easy to read as always - his brow was furrowed in an open gesture of pity and he stood stiffly, uncertain of what to do with his hands. Rita glanced across at Max and Lofty, who both looked like she was on her deathbed already. And Ethan's mouth was open slightly, almost as if he was about to speak but couldn't quite form the words in his head.
Robyn passed the envelope to Louise, who received it and took a few steps towards the Clinical Nurse Manager. She cleared her throat quietly.
"This is for you. We just want you to know..."
She trailed off, unsure of how to continue. Lofty spoke for her.
"If you ever need anything, Rita, we're all here for you. A- and, we know it must be hard for you."
Rita took the envelope from Louise silently, lips parted slightly. Her eyes were trained carefully downwards as she replied.
"Please don't do this now." She saw Lofty recoil uncomfortably from the corner of her eye. Gaining some confidence, she looked up. Her chocolate gaze scanned over them all, brow creasing.
"Rita..." Robyn said gently, but she shook her head, tongue skimming over her lip briefly.
"I just want to work. That's all."
There was complete silence as she turned to leave, broken only by the click of heels from the opposite direction. Connie had been watching the whole exchange.
"As always, your lack of tact astounds me," she said in a scathing voice, hardly casting any of them a glance as she passed. "Get back to work."
The group were left, stunned into an uncomfortable quietness as the sound of Connie's heels faded down the corridor.
At last, Lofty cleared his throat and shuffled backwards slightly, managing to trip over thin air in his haste to get away. Robyn rolled her eyes, offering a hand to help him up.
"That could have gone better," he commented as he stood, dusting down his uniform.
"You think?" Robyn sighed. "I hope Rita will be okay."
"I reckon she'll be fine," Lofty reassured her, although he didn't sound too convinced. "Come on, Mrs Wright in bed four is due more paracetamol."
"You can sort her out this time. I'm not going in there again if I can help it."
"Oh, fine. But you can buy dinner."
Robyn beamed up at him at the prospect of dinner, her skin flushing pleasantly. "Deal."
Rita closed the door of her office, leaning against it with a heavy sigh. Her gaze travelled to her desk, where several gift bags and a stack of cards waited for her. She glanced down at the envelope, turning it over in her hands. She knew what it was, and she was terrified of opening it. Still, it couldn't lie sealed forever.
Taking a shuddery breath, she tore at the purple paper. It fell to the floor, leaving the card exposed between her fingers. For a few moments, she studied the illustration. It depicted an overly smiley ginger doctor in watercolour, the strokes delicate against the pale blue background. The words 'get well soon' were printed across the top in an arch, and Rita couldn't help but cringe at the sentiment.
She opened the card to view the inside. Her stomach turned at the sheer quantity of text; it would seem that everyone in the department had written her a small paragraph, no doubt expressing their deepest sympathy and well-wishes. The phrases "positive attitude" and "inspiration to the whole of the ED" jumped out at her, and she closed the card quickly, going to place it on her desk. Her stomach turned. She felt sick.
The door burst open and she straightened, dragging the back of her hand across her mouth and drawing in a breath to compose herself she turned around.
"Do people not knock anymo-" she broke off as she realised that the Clinical Lead had entered the room. "Oh. Connie."
"Are you alright?" The older woman sounded distant, and there was a distracted look in her eye as her gaze wandered the room.
"I'm fine," Rita responded curtly. She wouldn't admit it, but she was more than a little taken aback by Connie's open display of concern.
"The card. I didn't realise they were going to..."
"No, no, it's... It was very thoughtful of them."
"But not what you needed," Connie said, lowering her head slightly and studying the gifts on the desk.
"No," Rita admitted, turning fully and wrapping her arms around her chest.
"How did they find out?"
"Lofty found the letter. It must've fallen out of my pocket."
There was a brief silence. Connie's lips parted and Rita's brow furrowed as she tried to discern the expression behind her eyes.
"I'm sorry," the Clinical Lead said at last, her voice quiet. "I didn't think when I wrote it. I should have emailed you."
"It wasn't your fault," Rita replied with a shrug. "They were always going to find out anyway."
Connie's phone vibrated and she let out a frustrated sigh, digging it out from her pocket and glancing at the screen. Her gaze softened considerably. Rita frowned at the sudden change in expression; all the hard lines had faded from the older woman's face within a matter of seconds. She looked much younger when she wasn't being so uptight.
"Grace?" She guessed, voice quiet.
Connie just nodded, running her tongue briefly over her lower lip.
"You should answer it."
A pause.
"Thank you," came the almost inaudible reply, accompanied by a subtle smile.
It was, Rita thought as the door closed and she was left alone, one of the first times she had seen Connie smile at her. A warm feeling spread across her lower stomach; it was a nice change, after all.
