Red - Hope you're all still enjoying this fic. There's sooooo much more to come. Sorry it's taken us so long to get these chapters up. This one's a bit shorter than usual, bit of seriousness, bit of humour... enjoy!

xxxxx

"I'm very happy, having you in my arms, it's... it's just difficult to realize that my arms aren't the only ones you're in." Emily said shyly, getting into the passenger seat. She buckled in and then slipped out of her Vans and put her feet on the edge of the seat.

"And when you're not? What about in general? There's sometimes days where you're not in my arms, Em, where we don't see each other. Are you happy, with life, with me, in general?"

The twin reached her hand out to gently set on Effy's thigh, just like she always did when they were driving together. Emily's voice was soft. "I don't like being away from you ever, if I'm honest. I'd rather not sleep and be munted then wake up and find that you're not next to me." She paused. "But I'm happy when I'm with you, god Eff, just being around you is the best high I've ever had."

"Jesus, Ems." Sighed Effy and brushed a hand through her own hair, propping her head up on the window console. "I feel such an arse. Do you...do you want to have the same option as I do?"

"No, I have no want or need to fuck anyone else." Emily replied softly. She actually still surprised herself by even feeling that way... With her history and all.

"Thank fuck because Em," She shook her head, setting her jaw hard. "I couldn't share you, I'm too...I don't know. I know that it's a bit much sometimes but just thinking of what they're trying to do to you makes me want to strangle them all. This sounds fucking unfair. You're miserable while I'm having the time of my life. And when we're together I wont even go down on you." Another head-shake. "What do you even want with me, Emily? This isn't a balanced relationship, it's not balanced at all."

"Relationships aren't based on fairness, Eff. But know that how you would feel if I wanted to have the same terms as you do... That's how I feel. I'm not concerned about you going down on me. You don't like it, I get it. I don't want you to feel you have to, unless you wanted to." Emily bit her lip. "I also don't want you to feel trapped."

"Wow, thanks." Mumbled Effy sarcastically, shaking her head. "Easy to say. I thought everything was fucking fine and now I'm slapped with this. Have you felt like this the whole time? The whole fucking year Emily?" She had no idea what made her angrier. The fact that Emily, obviously, only agreed to that, OFFERED it so she'd get to keep Effy or the fact that she hadn't told her that it's been hurting her. Either way, she didn't like it.

Parking the car behind the pub, in the alley Effy didn't wait for Emily to get out before she dashed out, let Echo free and lit a fag. The frown didn't leave her face when she waited for Emily to join her and go into the pub.

Emily didn't rush from the car, like Effy had. Echo came around the car and sat with her tail wagging, waiting for the twin to exit. With a sigh she did just that.

She walked to the back entrance and slid down the wall to sit on the ground. Echo must have felt the difference, sensed that Emily wasn't all cheerful and smiling, because the dog laid down and put her head on Emily's thighs.

Absent-mindedly the twin began to run her right hand over Echo's head and neck, tilting her head back and closing her eyes.

When seeing that Emily didn't come round to get in the pub, Effy moved back around and sighed. Her eyes were on Emily, sitting on the ground with Echo so she made her way over and knelt down by the girl, holding herself up on her knees. "What is it Emily?"

"You're upset, I've upset you." Emily said softly, eyes down on Echo as she continued to pet the dog.

"So? Doesn't mean you've to sit outside, on the ground. Your shift's starting and I've been upsetting you since we met. So it's fine. It happens, okay? Every couple fights, every couple argues and every couple upset each other. Now come on." She stood and reached her hand out, reaching for Emily, waiting.

"Just wanted to clear my head a bit before I went in, you know?" She said with a small smile, accepting the outstretched hand. Once standing she didn't let go and kissed Effy on the cheek. "Still picking me up? Or should I ask the lesbians to pick me up and bring me to my flat?"

"Why?" Effy's eyes widened and she gasped. "You really fucking think I'm bringing them home, that I'll shag them, don't you."

"Not really, you've not brought anyone to yours that I know of. You don't shove it in my face, I don't know if you're careful about it on purpose or by accident, but I'm thankful I've not gone to yours to find you shagging someone else."

"Why have you suggested it? You are not okay. Not at all."

"I was giving you an out if you wanted it, baby. If you needed a breather from me." Emily said gently. She never released Effy's hand.

"So, how does this work? Every time I'm fishing you're going out of your mind?... Thinking fishing means for me something else?" Effy had no idea why she couldn't stop ask questions.

Emily gently smiled. "No, it doesn't mean something to you. There's no emotional connection for those times when you do get a shag out of it. I know you love me. I never have doubted that, even before you'd admit it." The twin pulled Effy close by her hand and one hand to her hip, until they were pressed flush against one another. "Every-time you go fishing I just remind myself that while you are not mine, that I am yours. It's to me you come home to, yours or mine, wherever I am, you come to me. Just some days get to me a little more than others, but they pass, usually when you get home and you're beautifully flying and you can't keep your hands off me."

"It's an instinct. I have to find you, my drugged brain wont let me chill as long as I haven't found you. Even if I know I only have an hour or two because I've an deal or whatever." Whispered Effy and closed her eyes, hands softly stroking Emily's naked back under her shirt. "I never love anyone, I never really let them have me. No matter how high I'm flying I always manage to distance myself enough so it won't make it feel like cheating. But it is, isn't it? It is cheating.." Her voice was low when she mumbled into Emily's neck, using their close position to place her head on the girl's shoulder. "You feel cheated."

Another soft smile graced her lips and she leaned her head forward to set her forehead on Effy's shoulder, mirroring her position. "Do you feel it is cheating?" She asked gently, placing soft kisses along the brunette's neck.

"No. Not really, no." Whispered Effy and bit her lip, her arms wrapping around Emily more tightly, she brought her closer. "Usually not. But now it will."

"Then if you don't believe it is, then it's not." She said calmly, breathing in the scent of Effy's body-wash and perfume, sighing into her neck.

"Lets go in, yeah?" Effy's lips found Emily's in a slow kiss, before she smiled slightly, stroking her cheeks. "I really can't breath without you, Em."

They walked into the pub and Naomi was on them right away, a brow raised at her cousin's choice of clothes. She had seen her in jeans the last time over ten years ago. "Interesting outfit...thought you had your own clothes at Emily's?" Blue eyes were dancing over her cousin's face and clothes, it looked good to see her that casual. Of course no one could deny that she was by far the most erotic thing walking London's street, without really trying, but seeing her that casual made her appear a bit less...dangerous.

Not like she'd snatch your heart and dance on it, because she'd be bored. "You okay Em? Looking still tired." Naomi automatically reached down to pat Echo's huge ears, seeing as the dog was almost sliding around on its arse in excitement.

"Can I borrow Echo for the day?"

The twin hid any chance of Naomi knowing there had been a rather huge conversation between her and Eff, her body relaxed and light and she smiled over at the blonde. "Sorry I'm a bit late. I'll get some rest tonight, I'm taking it off. I need some time with Eff." She looked at Effy and then back to Naomi. "She look gay?"

"She looks cute, you know, not that man-eating and whorish." Mumbled Naomi when she took Effy's hand and twirled her in an circle. "My boyfriend jeans?" She accused weakly, still smiling. "You making her look gay? Really, I don't much care what you're doing in the bedroom, Eff, but that's a bit much isn't it? Role-play reversed." Then she seemed to remember something, her eyes dancing to the other end of the pub.

"There's a pretty girl waiting for you, by the booth. Care to explain?"

"I'm fishing lesbians today." Mumbled Effy and nodded at the girl that was almost ripping her heart out. "We're not staying." Promised Effy after she waved at the girl she was meeting. "Okay?" Turning she asked Emily, not sure why it suddenly mattered, or why she felt like shit.

"Right. Because that's so healthy and normal." Gasped Naomi and looked back to the blonde girl Effy was meeting.

She looked... good, cute, and not threatening much. Just a girl in her twenties that met another girl, who was pretending to be gay while she was with a girl for a year. "Yeah, take Echo. I don't care, just bring her home later when you're done or bring her when Emily comes in tomorrow."

Emily's gaze flitted over to the girl who was waiting for Effy.

She couldn't deny that the girl was attractive, and before Effy, she would of had that girl in no time at all. She was a lipstick, or so it seemed from her style of dress and the way she held herself. The girl waved back at Effy, a bright smile on her face.

"Guess that means I don't get a kiss goodbye then." Emily said gently as she took a step away so that the girl didn't believe that Effy was already taken. Always seem available, even if you're not, it was one of the first rules of fishing. She gave the girl's hand a brief squeeze before turning around to go behind the bar to officially relieve Naomi of her shift. She was only 15 minutes late.

"Tell Kay I'm sorry for making you late." Emily said to the blonde.

"You didn't. I'm always sitting in the caff for almost an hour anyway. My shift is only six hours, she works eight. It's fine." Was Naomi's answer when she followed Emily, shooting her cousin a 'what the fuck' look on her way.

Effy pulled her phone out of her jeans and quickly sent a text, with her photo.

EF: what you say, princess? Would you do me?

Then she walked to the bar herself and ordered two cappuccino's, looking at her phone to not meet Emily's eyes while she did.

K: Why are you dressed like a lezza? Finally decide to embrace your inner rainbow?

"Cool." Emily said with a smile, giving the blonde a brief hug before going about making Effy's requested drinks. She laughed a little bit at herself for wishing she had a ruffie to put in the unknown blonde's drink. The twin couldn't help but laugh even more, setting the drinks on the bar-top before having to lean over with her hands on her knees to try to catch her breath.

"All right, Em?" Enquired Effy with a smile, seeing Emily almost piss herself made her feel weird. But she couldn't stop herself from lightly chuckling along.

EF: long story... Gay enough then, and hot? I feel like I'm wearing a astronauts costume. Never covered that much skin before...

"Yeah, I'm sorry." Emily uttered, still trying to catch her breath, grabbing for a bottled water and nearly choking on it when she started laughing again.

K: Yeah, hot kind of radiates off you babes. Where'd you get that necklace?

"All right. You okay? I have to go there now." She was trying to look into Emily's eyes.

EF: got it from Ems. Said I didn't want me to be a cliché, so she fixed me up.

Emily was cleaning some glasses in the sink behind the bar with a smile on her face, slowly shaking her head. "Look at me." She requested gently, keeping up appearances with a huge grin on her lips.

K: Oh... don't... don't lose that, yeah? That necklace and the bracelet, those are Ems' like, most prized possessions. You know Em isn't much for stuff, but those are very special to her.

EF: Now I will lose it, I bet. Fucking hell. Thanks Katie, see you tomorrow yeah?

Blue eyes met brown, a brow raised. "Yes baby?"

K: Better fucking not! I'm surprised she let you wear it, no offence. Dad, James, and I got those for her when she first came out, kind of our way of saying 'we still love you'. She wore them pretty much for three years straight.

"You're lovely." Emily said gently and leaned into the bar top to whisper. "You owe me kisses later, yeah?" Emily smirked gently. "I'll see you later so we can have some proper alone time."

Just when Effy's face lit up, making her beam at Emily from her position almost on top of the counter, just like Emily was, she felt fingertips run a path from one end of the small of her back to the other.

She shivered before closing her eyes for a moment, preying to god that Naomi was suddenly very much into that twisted stuff. Or maybe she wanted to make her laugh. But then a voice was whispering into her ear and she knew, she knew that she had taken too long to get over there with the drinks. "Didn't peg you for being one of those nervous girls, baby. And by the way, you look really good."

"Told you that you'll love it."

"You know me that well already?"

"Rule number two; learn what your fish loves and give it to them."

The blonde standing pressed to Effy chuckled into her ear before her eyes rose and met Emily's. She was seizing her up, obviously aware of the fact that the brunette came inside with her. "I'm Alexis, Lexie really. You're Effy's mate?" It was clearly a pissing contest and Effy closed her eyes for a moment, after rolling them.

Emily kept a smile on her face.

Nobody but maybe Effy, Naomi, or Katie would be able to decipher it, hell, her mask might be so firmly in place that those three might have had troubles figuring it out. Her eyebrow lifted slightly at the girl, Lexie, and her head tilted to the side.

The twin knew how these types of girls worked.

She was first checking to see what Emily was to Effy, and then she would exploit every means necessary to claim Effy as hers. It almost made the twin laugh. Lexie could try as hard as she wanted, but Effy would never be hers.

"You could say that." Emily smirked, her eyes dancing into the blonde's gaze, not even looking at Effy. "And what are you? Also Effy's mate?"

The girl, bright green eyes and wavy long hair moved a bit closer to Effy, effectively pinning her to the counter, Lexie's hands on either side of it. "I sure hope not, you don't do that to mates what she's been doing, do you?" A sly smirk formed on her lips then and she shook her head slightly. "Any chance that you were at Pride last year? My mate has photos with a girl that looks like you. Rainbow painted on your tummy? She was looking all over for you. I could point her this way if you want." See if the girl is looking, searching, or if she's weirdly happy not to meet girls, Lexie thought. "We could go on a double-date."

"That's fine babe, let's go to the booth yeah?" Tried Effy, she REALLY wanted to get this girl away from Emily, like, right now.

Emily kept her cool, somehow, not letting herself get riled up by the obvious digging of the blonde bitch. In reality she wanted to scratch those green eyes right out of her fucking skull, then spit on them, then smash them with her Vans.

She couldn't help but laugh lightly. "Been having a good time with her then? I've heard she's quite brilliant between the sheets. So you've known each other long?"

Emily finally decided to answer Lexie's question about pride. "I was at Pride last year. Sadly though, I'm taken, so I won't be needing your match-making skills. A double date would prove interesting, don't you think so, Eff?"

"I don't do dates." Pushed the brunette out through gritted teeth, her eyes boring into Emily's. She wanted her to... to stop this... but she knew there was no chance in hell.

Emily was awfully possessive, she'd never show it, never make it too obvious but the girl was smart and she'd go to the end of the world to fight for what's hers.

"We've been talking about this baby," Chuckled Lexie, her arms tightening around Effy so she was pretty much pressed to every part of her. "You need to change your ways a bit if you want this to work." Her voice lowered, not enough to not be heard by Emily, fuck everyone knew that she wanted her to hear, but enough for her breath to hit Effy's ear. "And I'd say we're making quite the progress, aren't we? We're almost at the...peak I'd say. Just look at you, you're gorgeous, told you that you don't need all the skanky crap, didn't I? And we're slowly grabbing your fears by their balls too." Green eyes blazed when she looked up to Emily, smirk in place.

"I'd say we've known each other long enough."

Emily laughed, it started out as a small chuckle then got louder and longer. When she finally managed to calm herself down, a twinkling in her eye and an innocent smile plastered across her face. "Oh really? That's rather interesting, I think." The twin said aloud.

Yep, she definitely should have ruffied Lexie's drink.

"Been working on those fears of hers? Changing her?" The redhead couldn't help but laugh again. This girl was totally deluded. "So she stays at yours a lot? Has her own key? Or do you usually go to hers?"

"She's with me, pretty much living there. She doesn't have her own place." Snapped Lexie, not very happy that Emily was obviously making fun of her. "And yes, we fucking are, okay? Not changing her just...trying to work through things." She shook her head then and let go of Effy, her eyes blazing. "What the fuck Eff? What's wrong with her?"

Emily silently breathed a sigh of relief when she said that Effy didn't have her own place, but honestly after meeting her she doubted Effy would have brought her home in the first place. This girl had no chance with Effy. No one did, not really. "Sorry, I'm just a mate who's kind of protective of her friends. See, Eff's cousin is dating my twin, so she's kind of like family to me." Emily explained.

Okay, so it wasn't exactly the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie either. "You can't change someone, Lexie, if that person wants to change for you, if you're worth it, then they'll do so because of you, but not for you. See the difference, hun?"

"That's what she's been doing." Mumbled Lexie and looked to Effy with a blank expression. "She wanted things to change so we'd stop fighting about every little thing, so we could be happy you know? My parents didn't like her, and I guess it made her a bit sad that. If we ever want to have a future, she said, we both had to work for it." With a sigh she pressed her lips to Effy's cheek, lingering.

"I never made her fight her fears, not once. It was her idea, she wanted to... uh... well... you know..."

"Lexie." Snapped Effy and her head shot back, glaring at the blonde. "Fucking shut up, okay? Just... go and wait for me at the table."

"Don't fucking snap at me." Exclaimed the blonde, her eyes filling with tears. Effy breathed in through her nose, calming herself down a bit before she nodded, her eyes closed. "I know, I'm sorry. Okay?"

Neither had realised that Naomi was standing not far from Emily, her jaw dropped to the ground, cleaning a glass for about ten minutes now. She slowly inched towards Emily and wrapped her arm around her waist, whispering into her ear. "Stay calm."

The calm, almost tender tone in Effy's voice, directed at Lexie, hit the redhead right in the chest. Maybe she had been wrong. A flash of doubt filled her eyes for but a moment before she looked at some regular patrons walk into the door, calling for their usual pints of lager, right when Naomi put her arms around her waist and whispered into her ear. "Be right there boys." She said flirting, stepping from the blonde's attempt at a comforting embrace.

They always tipped her well if she flirted a bit with them.

She went about getting their drinks, a pint each to start. They'd get more later, but they always ordered their pints, then some food, then the drinks would start flowing. Once she had filled the glasses she walked over to the blokes, her hips moving from side to side in a way that made them both stop taking and drool over her. "Here you go. Should I put your food order in too, or wait a bit?"

"What is it?" Whispered Lexie with a frown, then her eyes followed Effy's and she sighed. "What, you know her girlfriend or something? Just, lets just go okay? I'm not feeling very welcome here."

Naomi was shaking her head at her cousin, a huge question mark on her face. "Uh Eff?"

The brunette's eyes ripped free from Emily's, fucking flirting body and moved to Naomi, they looked tired. "Everything okay? Who's your friend?"

With a groan Effy shook her head, already trying to light a fag. "Lexie, Naomi my cousin. Naomi, that's Lexie."

"Your girlfriend." Added Lexie with a raised brow, making Effy almost choke on the smoke filling her lungs. She nodded, forcing herself not to look at Emily who was basically jumping around naked around the blokes.

"Gi..girlfriend, now that's interesting."

Lexie smiled at Naomi, trying not to see how the blonde was looking at her. With a sigh she asked if they could go again. "Yeah, sure. Just... I'll be right back, yeah? Just need the loo. Lets meet by the car?"

"You need to get a car Eff, can't keep driving your hot arse around all day." Smirked Lexie and leaned in to kiss the brunette but Effy turned her head, effectively having her cheek pecked. "I can't afford one."

"I know."

Effy softly de-tangled herself from Lexie's grip and stepped out of the weird embrace. She threw Naomi a look, one that was not to be mistaken and left for the back-room.

"So, what is you do, Lexie?" Asked Naomi with a voice sweet as sugar. "I'm working on my own charity organisation, helping anorexic and bulimic youth."

"Well, then I'd say you couldn't have gotten a better girl, eh?" But Lexie just furrowed her brows, not really getting what Naomi was saying. "You know, because Effy's bulimic?" With a head-shake the blonde yelled for Emily. "Could you get more Coke from the back, babes? Only have four left, I'll have the counter."

Emily turned from the blokes, a smile on her face that was completely faux, but they didn't know that. They were laughing and having a good time. Her head turned to Naomi and then she nodded, winking at the boys before disappearing. 'Get the Coke. Get the Coke. Get the Coke.' Emily repeated in her head like a mantra. She picked up the case and then set it back down. She looked around, making sure no one could see her, and then she sat down, her eyes closed, her breathing barely controlled. She began tapping her fingertips on her thighs, pulled out her mobile, then changed her mind and tucked it back in her pocket.

Effy barged into the room the drinks were kept at and locked the door behind her. "You were supposed to come to the back-room."

"What?" Emily asked, confused, getting to her feet and facing the brunette. "Naomi asked me to get more Coke, what does that have to do with the back room?"

"She sent you to me." Mumbled Effy and pushed herself up against the door with her leg. Putting it back down when the jeans wouldn't let her bent it the way she always did. "There's enough coke."

Emily's face was passive. "Okay... well I'm here."

Effy nodded, her eyes moving to lock with Emily's. "You okay?"

"You know the answer to that question." Emily stated softly, breaking her gaze away and she sat back down on the floor, leaning up against one of the cabinets.

"Her parents own the internet, Emily." Pushed Effy and slowly walked towards the twin, crunching down before she grimaced. Those jeans were way too unmoving, she felt like everything was cut off when she moved. "They own pretty much everything and she only waits for a chance to piss them off. Do you have any idea how much money she has? It's not even countable, Em." Her hands were holding her up by Emily's knees as she looked into her eyes. "This is massive."

Emily stared forward, her jaw clenching. "Then go." She whispered, her voice cracking. "Get your fish, though it looks to me like you've had her hooked for a while now." Her head shook, her body completely still other than that brief moment.

"It's not that easy, is it?" Snapped Effy and ran a hand through her hair, her eyes closing. "Those people are fucking careful. They know you're out for their money so you need to have them trust you. Love you. Mum found her last year, has tried to get Cook in but pretty sure it was obvious that the tabloids had it all wrong. She's not a cock-cruncher, Em. This takes time, and I seriously have no idea how to get her now calmed down. She wont be satisfied with cooking and cuddles, now, will she." She gave up on the crunching and just knelt on the ground, reaching for Emily's hands. "It's one thing to get her hooked to me, another to get her hooked to coke. I need her wanting it daily, not every other weekend and if I do it right, she'll pay for my business and I wont have to work for mum any-more."

"You could have just told me, Eff. Been up front so I didn't feel like it was a fucking pissing contest." Emily countered. "So all this time, whenever you're not with me, you've been with her then?" She suddenly remembered the stench of the girl's overly applied perfume.

She knew she recognized it from somewhere, this wasn't the first time she'd come into contact with it, usually by accident when the twin would get to Effy before she had showered after fishing. "I'll fix it." Emily said, getting up and walking away from Effy before she could grab her.

She noticed Lexie and Naomi talking and walked up to her. "Hey Lex, I wanted to apologize, I get a bit overbearing with my family. As Naomi here, when she first started in with my twin I was kind of a bitch to her. It's like a rite of passage for me. If you can put up with me then you'll earn my respect and the right to love someone from my family. Like I said before, Effy is like family to me." Her brown orbs took in the still slightly red, green eyes. "How about this... I'll take you two out tomorrow night, my treat, dress up to the nines. Unfortunately my girl won't be able to be there as she works nights, but I'm free to do as I please." She smiled gently at the young woman. "What do you say? You accept my apology?"

Green eyes flickered from Emily to Naomi, obviously she felt uncomfortable. She'd had no idea that Effy had such... such a tight knotted family. Now that she thought about it, she didn't know all that much about her, no important stuff at least.

She knew she worked at a bakery, from 2 til 8am, knew that her parents were divorced, that her mum was from Bristol. She had a brother, had to take care of her grandma all the time but that was pretty much it. "Uh, yeah sure. Have to check with Effy but I think I'd like that." She whispered, looking to the back-door when Effy walked back towards them.

She didn't look very happy... she didn't look anything.

With a sigh Lexie reached for her as soon as she was close enough and brought her to her side, her arm wrapping round her waist. "Emily's taking us out tomorrow night."

And just because it couldn't get any worse Effy nodded with a blank expression. "Maybe," Lexie bit her lip and looked to Naomi, "maybe you'd want to join us? With your girlfriend? She's Emily's twin, isn't she? That way we'd all get to know each other a bit better."

Emily set her hand on top of Lexie's forearm, cutting Naomi off before she could answer. "My twin is rather busy with work and school, and she has to be up early, so, being the overprotective sister that I am, I think it would be better if she not be invited, maybe on a weekend or when she's finished with school. At the very least you'd meet her when she graduates, and be invited to her graduation, seeing as Effy would bring you, but that's not for another year or so. Perhaps I could borrow Naomi as my girlfriend for the night, if they both say that its fine and all."

The twin wasn't stupid.

She purposely implied that Effy and Lexie would still be together in the next year so that they would attend her twin's graduation. Trying to get the girl to think of the future instead of trying to pry through Effy's past.

A small smile was playing on Lexie's lips and Naomi shook her head, feeling her heart break just the tiniest bit for the girl. She had no idea. But that was just it, fish, take what you need, and leave. "Yeah, Katie won't be free much in the near future but you'll get to know her. The twins' birthday is coming in a few months so I guess you'll meet her there." She turned to Emily and smiled, her eyes and expression light. "Trying it on with me again, Fitch? I don't think that your girl would love that idea. What do you think Eff? You're quiet?"

"She's just tired. Hasn't slept yet, have you babe? You need to sleep more." Whispered Lexie and brought Effy closer to her body. "As soon as we get to my place she always falls asleep. Makes me wonder what she's up to when she's gone." There was a teasing tone to it but you could easily hear the worry in her voice, even if it was hidden, probably from herself.

"You know that I have to take care of my grandma." Mumbled the brunette, almost inaudible. "Actually, the nurse has cancelled and I have to stay at hers tonight. Gotta be there by eight, that okay?"

Lexie nodded and pressed her lips to Effy's temple, trying not to realise how she stiffened. "Of course. I could come with you."

"No. She wouldn't understand."

Emily laughed and turned to Naomi. "I doubt she would, but luckily I'm only for her, plus I'm sure my twin would rip my tits off, and I'm rather attached to them."

Soft brown eyes turned to the quiet brunette. "I'd offer to watch her for you Eff, so you could spend time with your girlfriend, but I've got some things to take care of tonight. My girl is going to be over, you know, and I've got quite the plan in store for her. Might bring her out to dinner, something cheesy, you know, I'd offer a film, but there's no way that I'd last all throughout it before hopping on her lap, right there in the theatre." Emily said with a light-hearted laugh.

Pretty sure Emily deserved an award for her show, quite the actress she was, especially when her insides were still cringing painfully. Even if she did now know the truth, the way that Lexie was touching her made her more than a little uncomfortable.

She seriously wanted to just lick up Effy's neck and growl out 'MINE'. Of course that would completely fuck everything up, and she'd already done enough of that.

"Yeah, our Eff doesn't sleep a lot, between the bakery and grandma, and then spending her spare time with you, we don't even get to see her all that often, do we Naoms?"

The blonde chuckled, absolutely loving this. Effy was to blame herself, she should have fucking told them and not let them run into it like that. "I know, fucking rare to see her face. Sometimes I wonder if I've imagined her, you know? Like a product of my lonely childhood."

"Very funny." Mumbled Effy before turning to Emily, a light smile on her face. "It's fine, wouldn't want to steal you for the night. Who knows what danger would wait for me then if she didn't get to spend the night with you and have you watch my grandma instead. I know you can't either, Naomi, so it's fine."

"Oh but I could. Want me to watch her? Then you could be with your girlfriend, doesn't seem like you're doing a lot of that." Blue eyes were twinkling, curious as to how Effy would play it now.

Instead of responding Effy only shrugged, not biting. "She doesn't like you, you're a bitch and you creep her out with your gay ways. Besides, I promised we'd have a nice night in, she likes me better."

Emily smiled, laughing gently at Effy's quick comeback, looking from Naomi, then to Effy, then to the ignorant Lexie. "Did you two love-birds want to have a pint before you go? I'm sure I've taken enough of your time with my overly protective ways. Don't want to ruin any alone time you might have before you have to go to your grandma's Eff."

"I'm actually really tired and..."

"We'd love to." Smiled Lexie, her eyes finally stopped to be red and teary. She liked Effy's mates, her family, even if it obviously made Effy a bit uncomfortable. "Only if it's okay for you. You're very quiet baby, and you're looking like you're about to throw up if I touch you more."

Effy's eyes rolled and she took a deep breath before turning her head and shrugging, shy smile on her lips. "I just... they're not used to seeing me with another girl, it's a bit weird."

"But they're gay."

"Yeah, well but I am not."

Something flashed across Lexie's face and her jaw set tightly, briskly nodding. "I know. So what, it's fine when you grope me everywhere we are but I cant even touch you fucking innocently without you having a melt-down? Just because your family is here? So what, want me to sit opposite of you at dinner tomorrow too, perhaps? Out of reach?"

Effy shook her head and breathed deeply, calming down her anger. "Let's just go, okay?"

Emily reached out, across the bar, to softly grasp Lexie's biceps, turning the girl toward her. "She's kind of shy when it comes to PDA's babe especially when it's in front of people she knows, it's nothing against you, yeah? I'm usually the same way. Naomi and my twin used to be that way too, but then all of a sudden they just couldn't stop touching each other and snogging all over the place. It was disgusting seeing that happen."

Her grip squeezed the green-eyed girl's arm. "Extra pints when we go out then, yeah? Make up for missing them today." Her smile was soft and she went around the counter and pulled Lexie into a hug, almost gagging on the stifling odour of her perfume. She pulled the girl away and nodded. "You two have a lovely rest of the day, yeah?" The twin then moved to Effy and gave her the same hug that she had given the other girl. "If you're tired, maybe take a nap, yeah? You know grandma stays up all hours of the night to talk to you."

Emily let go of Effy and turned back to Lexie. "It was nice meeting you, hun, and look forward to seeing you."

"Tell your girlfriend she's a bitch and to take good care of you, yeah Emily? Think she forgets sometimes." Smiled Effy and reached out, brushing some hair from Emily's eyes before retreating her hand and turning her head to Lexie. "Can we go now?"

"Sure." With a bright smile Lexie pulled Naomi into a hug, telling her how great it was to meet them. "See you tomorrow then." She waved before reaching for Effy's hand but then pulling away before she could make contact with it, remembering the bit about PDA Emily has told her.

Effy's eyes closed again and she smiled, taking the now limply hanging hand, squeezing it softly. "Let's go. Echo?!" But Echo was busy sitting by Emily's feet, expectantly staring at her. "Come on girl, we're leaving." The dog's tail was going crazy, arse gliding along the ground with enthusiastic excitement when she looked up at Emily, obviously waiting for the twin.

Shit, of course Echo would be waiting for Emily, because they usually walked out together. Brown eyes glanced down at the dog who was happily looking up at her. "Go on girl, Eff will drop you off at mine later, okay?" She knelt down and scratched Echo's ears and gave the top of her head a brief smooch before giving the dog a little shove towards Effy.

Echo's head snapped up to Effy and it looked like she was glaring. And she barked once, blatantly not liking this and showing it when she marched to the door, not caring if Effy followed or not. "Oh believe me, I know." Mumbled Effy when she pulled on Lexie's hand, walking behind the dog that didn't wait for her now.

As soon as they were out of sight Naomi turned to Emily, her eyes wide. "What the fuck?"

Emily watched the girls walk out and she finally let a shuddered breath out, her head shaking as she grabbed onto the bar with both hands. She couldn't even answer the blonde, couldn't start to make any kind of noise that resembled speaking.

Naomi shook her head and fell to her knees, opening the tiny refrigerator. She pulled out the vodka they always drank, filled up four shots and slid two towards Emily, downing two herself. "Tell me that she's not lost her mind."

Emily didn't answer at first, simply drained the two shots in rapid succession. "She hasn't... that's her new fish."

"But that's not right. Effy cant do long-term arrangements, that's why she's still fucking fishing. She can't keep it up, she fucking can't behave around the drugs and now she's what, trying to make the girl an addict? Or, I don't get it. Who's authorized this?"

"Her mother." Emily responded flatly.

Naomi's eyes narrowed when she fished her phone out of her jeans, already dialling. "Anthea? What the fuck?!"

A: "Good day to you too, sunshine. How's life, then? Hope Katie is doing well, her studies still up and good? Lovely to hear from you too, you don't ring as often as I'd like."

N: "Cut the crap. Really, really? Lexie? What the fuck?"

A: "She was not supposed to tell you."

N: "Well she didn't. Guess how that made her girlfriend feel when she was suddenly facing her other girlfriend, who, obviously, has no fucking idea what, who or how Effy is. How long is this going on? The girl doesn't look like she's taking anything."

A: "I'm sorry love, but I really don't have to explain myself to you."

Naomi's teeth grit and she looked like a fuming teenager, ready to strangle her aunt, her whole body trembling.

A: "And I don't think that she has a girlfriend, at least not the way she should. I've had to grab the chance, Naomi you understand this. I couldn't ask you, you'd have been perfect but I know that you'd never do it."

N: "Why not whore-out your own daughter, then, eh?" She hung up, her expression slowly changing when she tried to wrap her head around all of this. Her eyes flew to Emily's. "And you really think taking them out for dinner is a good idea, Em? This will be fucking hell."

Emily looked away, could hear Anthea through the phone even though it wasn't on speaker and was pressed against Naomi' ear. She swallowed a lump in her throat. "Please tell me you'll be there? Or... how much does Millie know... about everything?"

"Millie knows enough, she's been in since she moved here. I met her and got her the job, we became friends pretty quickly. She needed more money though, you know how shitty they pay here. Talked with the boss, with Anthea and Effy and we decided to have Millie store our stuff. We can't have much of it home, you know that, not more than for self-using, so it's here. Millie's packing and wrapping it, lacing the coke." With a shrug Naomi leaned on the counter, knowing what Emily would ask.

Maybe it would be better if Millie went with her. As her girlfriend. She works nights, it'd fit and Emily wouldn't have to be that tense. She could have her fun and Millie would probably dish it pretty good, if she remembered correctly from that one time. "You should ask her, I could take her shift. You'll be more comfortable, and you could have a bit of fun while dying on the inside."

Emily was reflective, her mind moving a zillion miles an hour whilst her face and body completely contrasted that as she stood there calmly leaning on the bar-top. "Are you sure Naomi? I mean, with Katie working and going to school, you two barely see each other. I don't want you to miss out on time together, you know?" Emily nodded. "So now the question, do I consult with Eff or just make the decision myself?"

Before she could hear the answer the blokes at the end of the bar were asking for more drinks to go with their newly delivered food. "What am I suppose to do?" Emily asked Naomi before turning and walking toward them, filling up two more pints and setting the drinks in front of them.

Naomi waited until Emily was back, then she answered. "You tell her, of course you do. And I tell Katie that I'm working Millie's shift, it's fine. The girl has covered for me countless of times. Don't worry, okay?"

She shook her head and went to grab her bag, knowing that if she wouldn't leave in the next fifteen minutes she'd be late to pick Katie up. "But Em, I think what you really need to do is think things through, change them."

Emily looked over to Naomi sadly as she went to leave. "I'm not the one who is resisting change, Naoms, and I can't ask Effy to change for me. I meant what I said to Lexie earlier. If someone thinks you're worth it, they will change for you. Guess I'm just not worth the potential monetary gain."

"What do you mean?" Blue eyes looked confused at the twin, brows furrowed when Naomi got her fags out and offered one to Emily's as well.

"I mean I'm not worth it for her to stop what she's doing, fucking fishes." Emily said softly, hesitating before grabbing the offered cigarette. Emily put it between her lips and then waited for Naomi to give her the lighter so she could light her own. She inhaled deeply, still feeling like she was going to vom. Her stomach was so tight and unsettled that it was actually starting to hurt.

"She loves you Emily, sometimes you can see how it's hurting her. I think...Effy doesn't like change, you know. But she hates hurting you more. If she knew, I don't know, I think that you need to step up and stop things. She needs boundaries, as long as she doesn't have them she'll never change. She won't need to, you know? She'll think it's okay and as long as it's okay, it's no reason to change." Naomi shrugged then, she had always wondered how the girls were managing to be with each other. "If you want her for yourself, you need to make her see that she only needs you."

"How do I do that? Make her see that I'm all she needs? What more could I possibly do? Did you not see what I just did for her? To keep her safe?" Emily whispered, her voice breaking and becoming raspy with emotion.

"But that's just it Em," Whispered Naomi and took the order of a regular that raised his finger, not wanting to disturb the girls. She started on his drinks, her voice low so only Emily would hear. "As long as she sees that she can do everything, absolutely everything and you'll still be there, waiting for her, worshipping her then she wont change." With a shrug she brought the bloke his drinks and made her way back. "Make her want to only have you. I don't know, show her what's it like, how you feel, show her that she needs you to breath. She knows it, she'll never allow anything to even come close enough to you, pure jealousy. Show her that you feel the same and give her some rules, boundaries. I don't know."

"I don't know if I can do this tomorrow, Naoms. I don't know if I can sit back and watch it happen in front of my eyes." The redhead admitted. "We already kind of started on that type of conversation this morning. She first thought that I wanted to have the same rules as hers, or freedoms, and be able to fuck whoever. I told her that I had no need for that. She had told me she was glad because she'd go after anyone who tried to touch me. I let her know that that, what she would be feeling, is what I feel every time she goes out to fish."

"It didn't do much, eh?" Whispered the blonde with a sad expression, already knowing the answer to that. She had no idea how Emily was able to do this, sure, Effy had her reasons, some pretty fucking huge ones, but the twin didn't know any of them. She just...loved Effy. And to keep her she had to set her free, which was not making it any less painful to watch.

"I know she loves me, she started to panic a bit before we came in, had to make sure we were okay." Emily started. "... but I can't possibly tell her to stop, or ask it of her. Really, Naoms, why do you think I haven't moved in? Obviously you know how I feel about her."

"I think she's had enough of freedom, don't you? I mean honestly, Ems, how much do you know about what she's doing? Have you been watching her fishing at least once? She's kept stalking your trips for months, but you have no idea. I don't either, doesn't allow me to come any-more. I just think... if you want to have a future with her, like fucking Lexie said, then you'll both will have to work on that. And Eff will need to see that this is not the way to have you, to keep you. How long will you keep going through this? You'll snap at some point, you'll leave or jump off a building. There's only so much a heart can take, you know." She kissed Emily's forehead and sighed when pulling away. "Gotta go, you have to talk with her. If you don't I will, okay?"

Brown eyes widened. "Please don't say anything, Naomi. I beg you. She'll feel betrayed that I spoke to you about it. I will. I'll try tonight whilst she's at grandma's house. I must be a pretty spry grandma." She said, trying to add a bit of humour and lightness in the conversation, but even that fell flat. "Give Kay a hug for me, yeah?"

With a shrug and a hug Naomi left to get Katie.

Emily had handed over the reins to Millie nearly half an hour ago. She sat at the end the bar, talking to another set of regular patrons, trying to keep her mind occupied. She hadn't asked Millie yet to stand in as her girlfriend, she wanted to speak to Effy about it first before doing so. It was Effy's operation, after all.

xxxxx

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