*60 years earlier*
I sat on my bench smoking would my mother approve of my smoking? No but even though I was a respectable lady of the shire I enjoyed the small rebellion. I blew a ring and the smoke bounced back at me. I opened my eyes to see a older man in a hat.
"Good morning."
"What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or, perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning. Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?" He asked.
"All of them at once, I suppose. Can I help you?"
"That remains to be seen. I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure."
"An adventure? Now, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things. Make you late for dinner, hm, mm. Good morning."
"To think that I should have lived to be good-morninged by Belladonna Took's daughter, as if I were selling buttons at the door."
"Beg your pardon?"
"You've changed, and not entirely for the better, Bella Baggins."
"I'm sorry, do I know you?"
"Well, you know my name, although you don't remember I belong to it. I'm Gandalf! And Gandalf means … me."
"Gandalf...not Gandalf, the wandering Wizard, who made such excellent fireworks! Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve. Ha, ha! Well. Hmm, I had no idea you were still in business."
"And where else should I be?"
"Ha, ha! Hm, hmm..."
"Well, I'm pleased to find your remember something about me, even if it's only my fireworks. Well that's decided. It will be very good for you, and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others."
"Inform the who? What? No. No. No! Wait. We do not want any adventures here, thank you. Not today, not-mm. I suggest you try over the Hill or across the Water. Good morning!" I said and slammed the door I was through being polite and I did not need any sort of visitors. I made a cup of tea and the whole incident was forgotten. I went into the market and bought a fish for my dinner, tended to my garden and settled in for the night. I was wearing a nightgown and after a nice meal I would settle in with a book and fall asleep. Then as I was eating my fish I heard my doorbell ring. Who could possibly be calling at this hour? Not anyone reasonible or polite for that matter. I opened the door to see a dwarf of all things.
"Ah."I exclaimed
"Dwalin, at your service." The dwarf bowed.
"Bella Baggins, at yours. D-do we know each other?"
"No. Which way, lassie? Is it down here?"
"I-is what down where?" I was very confused. A dwarf was in my house.
"Supper. He said there'd be food, and lots of it." Dwalin said who said?
"H-He said? Who said?"
"Mmmm. … Very good, this. Any more?"
"What? Uh, oh, yes, yes." I was a lady I had to be polite so I showed him to my pantry.
"Ah."Dwalin said.
"Help yourself."I replied. "Mmmm. It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company." I heard the doorbell ring again.
"That'll be the door." I went to the door to see who it was. No surprise it was another Dwarf. This one had a long white beard.
"Balin, at your service."He said.
"Good evening."I replied.
"Yes, yes it is, though I think it might rain later. Am I late?"
"Late for what?"
"Oh, ha ha! Evening, brother. Heh, heh."
"Oh, by my beard, you are shorter and wider than last we met.'
"Wider, not shorter. Sharp enough for both of us." They were talking and I was just so confused. What were dwarves doing in my home?!
"Uh, excuse me; sorry, I hate to interrupt, ah, but the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house. It's not that I don't like visitors; I-I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit, but I do like to know them before they come visiting. The thing is, um, I, I don't know either of you, not in the slightest. I don't mean to be blunt, but I uh, but I had to speak my mind. I'm sorry." They both looked at me as though I was some strange lass they had never seen before.
"Hm. Apology accepted." Balin I think it was said.
"Mm!" I groaned and went to answer the door once again. I opened it to see two rather handsome dwarves and tied my robe a bit tighter.
"Fili." The blonde one said.
"And Kili." The dark haired one said.
"At your service."They said together and bowed.
"You must be Ms. Boggins." Kili said.
"Nope, you can't come in, you've come to the wrong house." began to shut the door tired of the dwarves pillaging my pantry.
"What? Has it been cancelled?" Kili put his foot in to stop the door.
"No one told us."Fili said.
"Can-? No-nothing's been cancelled." I exclaimed.
"Well, that's a relief." They walked in like they owned the place and Fili handed me his weapons.
"Careful with these, I just had 'em sharpened." He said and I was shocked by the large swords.
"It's nice, this place. D'you you do it yourself?" Kili asked and began wiping his boots on my mother's glory box.
"Ah, no, it's been in the family for years. That's my mother's glory box, can you please not do that?!"I shouted.
"Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Dwalin called them in and then the bell rang again.
"Oh no. No, no! There's nobody home. Go away, and bother somebody else. There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If- if- If this is some clotterd's idea of a joke, ha ha, I can only say, it is in very poor taste." I shouted and opened the door. Dwarves fell over in a pile. The wizard was behind them. I sighed in relief at Gandalf. "Gandalf." They ate their way through house and home. I was so angry at all of them. "Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!" I exclaimedthe redness in my face short dirrty blonde hair going awry as I shouted.
"My dear Bella, what on earth is the matter?"Gandalf asked finally concerned for me.
"What's the matter? I'm surrounded by dwarves. What are they doing here?" I asked almost on the verge of tears.
"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them."
"I don't want to get used to them. The state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet, they've pi-pillaged the pantry. I'm not even going to tell you what they've done in the bathroom; they've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in my house!" Then one of the dwarves that was younger approoached us.
"Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" He asked.
"Here you go, Ori, give it to me."Fili took it and threw it and then they started scraping my silverware.
"Ooh, d'hear that, lads? The lass says we'll blunt the knives." Then they sang about me.
Blunt the knives, bend the forks
Smash the bottles and burn the corks
Chip the glasses and crack the plates
That's what Bella Baggins hates!
Cut the cloth and tread on the fat
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat
Pour the milk on the pantry floor
Splash the wine on every door
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl
Pound them up with a thumping pole
When you've finished, if any are whole
Send them down the hall to roll
That's what Bella Baggins hates!
When they were done my dishes were clean I was kind of impressed and then I heard a knock at the door and everyone went silent.
"He is here." Gandalf said and that was when I knew my life was going to be forever changed.
