The next day when we rode out it was a major downpour.
"Here, Mr. Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori asked as we rode out.
"It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard." Gandalf said and that got me thinking.
"Are there any?"I asked.
"What?"Gandalf asked me.
"Other wizards?"
"There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman, the White. Then there are the two Blue Wizards; you know, I've quite forgotten their names."
"And who is the fifth?"
"Well, that would be Radagast, the Brown."
"Is he a great Wizard or is he...more like you?" Gandlaf looked slightly offended.
"I think he's a very great wizard, in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the East, and a good thing too, for always Evil will look to find a foothold in this world." The sun suddenly started to shine and we found a place to camp by a ruined farmhouse.
"We'll camp here for the night. Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them."Thorin said and his nephews began to walk with the ponies.
"A farmer and his family used to live here."Gandalf said and I began to tune them out helping with Bombur. Then I heard Gandalf shout and he began to walk away.
"Everything alright? Gandalf, where are you going?" I asked concerned.
"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense."He replied.
"Who's that?"
"Myself, Ms. Baggins! I've had enough of dwarves for one day." He growled and walked off to god knows where. I decided to help Bombur with the soup. But it was getting dark and I was worried.
"He's been a long time." I said concerned.
"Who?"Bofur asked.
"Gandalf."
"He's a wizard! He does as he chooses. Here, do us a favor: take this to the lads." I was handed to bowls and wlaked over to Kili and Fili. They looked worried.
"What's the matter?" I asked concerned.
"We're supposed to be looking out for the ponies." Kili said.
"Only we've encountered a slight problem."Fili said.
"We had sixteen."
"Now there's fourteen."
"Daisy and Bungo are missing."
"Well, that's not good. That is not good at all. Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"I asked.
"Uhh, no. Let's not worry him. As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it."Fili replied.
"Well, uh...look, some-something big uprooted these trees." I pointed out.
"That was our thinking."Kili replied.
"Something very big, and possibly quite dangerous." I said.
"Hey! There's a light. Over here! Stay down."Fili said and we followed it to see a rather large mountain trolls.
"He's got Myrtle and Minty! I think they're going to eat them, we have to do something." I said.
"Yes; you should. Mountain trolls are slow and stupid, and you're so small." Kili said.
"N-n-no-" I fought the two dwarves tooth and nail.
"They'll never see you."
"No, no, no..."
"It's perfectly safe! We'll be right behind you."
"If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a barn owl, once like a brown owl."Fili said and they began to push me closer.
"Twice like a barn owl, twice like a brown-once like a brown? Are you sure this is a good idea?"I asked but they were gone. I approached the trolls.
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow." One of the trolls complained and I tried my plan of attack. the ponies were right there and I neededto get their knife to cut the rope but he grabbed me instead of his handkerchief when one sneezed.
"Argh! Blimey! Bert! Bert! Look what's come out of me 'ooter! It's got arms and legs and everything." The one who grabbed me said.
"What is it?"Another asked.
"I don't know, but I don't like the way it wriggles around!"
"What are you then? An oversized squirrel?" One asked me.
"I'm a burglar- uhh, Hobbit." I replied scared but I wouldn't let trolls see me cry.
"A Burgla-Hobbit?" Another asked.
"Can we cook `er?
"We can try!"
"She wouldn't make more than a mouthful, not when she's skinned and boned!"
"Perhaps there's more Burglar-Hobbits around these parts. Might be enough for a pie." Suddenly I got free of the troll's grasp.
"Grab her!" They all crashed looking trying to catch me.
"It's too quick!"
"Come here, you little... Gotcha! Are there any more of you little fellas `iding where you shouldn't?" One asked.
"Nope."I replied.
"She's lying."
"No I'm not!"
"Hold her toes over the fire. Make her squeal." Suddenly Kili and Fili appeared and began to fight the trolls.
"Drop her!"Kili exclaimed his sword at the ready.
"You what?"One of the trolls asked.
"I said, drop her."The other dwarves came in and started to fight but then they had my arms and legs.
"Bella!"
"No!"Thorin protested looking up at me.
"Lay down your arms, or we'll rip hers off." The troll said and I just kept looking at Thorin he laid his arms down and then we were bound in sacks.
"Don't bother cooking them. Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly." The trolls were deciding how to cook us.
"They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage."The other said.
"Is this really necessary?" They kept arguing and the dwarves were arguing for them to let us go.
"Wait! You are making a terrible mistake." I said trying to buy for time.
"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits!"Dori said.
"Half-wits? What does that make us?"Bofur asked him
"Uh, I meant with the, uh, with, uh, with the seasoning." I said.
"What about the seasoning?"The trolls asked.
"Well have you smelt them? You're going to need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up."
"What do you know about cooking dwarf?"
"Shut up, and let the, uh, flurgaburburrahobbit talk."
"Uh, th-the secret to cooking dwarf is, um-"
"Yes? Come on.
"It's, uh-" I had to think of something.
"Tell us the secret."A troll said.
"Ye-yes, I'm telling you, the secret is … to skin them first!"The dwarves groaned angry at me.
"If I get you, you little-" Gloin cursed.
"I won't forget that!" Oin said and I just looked at them trying to really apologize without ruining it.
"What a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scuff them, I say, boots and all."A troll said.
"`e's right! Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf! Nice and crunchy."Another picked up Bombur.
"Not-not that one, he-he's infected!" I said trying to play for time
"You what?"They asked.
"Yeah, He's got worms in his … tubes. In-in fact they all have, they're in-infested with parasites. It's a terrible business; I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't." I replied.
"Parasites, did he say parasites?" Oin asked.
"We don't have parasites! You have parasites!"Kili shouted.
"What are you talking about, lassie?" Gloin asked. And then Torin looked at me and realized what I was doing and the rest of them did too.
"I've got parasites as big as my arm."Oin said.
"Mine are the biggest parasites, I've got huge parasites!"Kili said.
"We're riddled." Nori said.
"Yes, I'm riddled." Ori said.
"Yes we are. Badly!" Dori said.
"What would you have us do, then, let 'em all go?"One of trolls asked.
"Well..."I replied.
"You think I don't know what you're up to? This little ferret is taking us for fools!"
"Ferret?"
"Fools?"
"The dawn will take you all!"Gandalf exclaimed and then the rock split and they all turned to stone. I didn't know where they weree from but the dwarves except for Thorin congratulated me for my quick thinking. But there was a cave nearby so we went to survey it.
