A/N: phew, over 200 reviews... what can I say? this is going to be my longest fic yet and you guys (you know who you are) have been so amazing, I cannot thank you enough. keep 'em reviews and favs coming and I'll keep writing!


18.

Emma pushed Regina back against the desk in her study, causing the mountain of folders to slide down and clatter to the floor.

"I was working on these," Regina protested quietly, but Emma's mouth on her neck silenced her effectively.

Hands were pushing her blazer off her shoulders until it slid noiselessly to the floor.

"My mother and Henry –"

"They won't be back for a while," Emma mumbled, gently biting at the revealed skin over her collarbone.

Regina groaned quietly and tilted her head back, hands sliding through silky blonde hair. How had they gotten to this so quickly?

Emma hooked her fingers into her blouse and pulled it out of her pants until it was bunched around her waist. How she hated crinkles.

Warm hands came to rest on her stomach, pressing her even harder into the edge of the desk. Instead of moving upward, one of the hands sneakily found its way into her slacks while the other began popping one button after the other, steadily moving until it tangled into her collar and Emma raised her head to pull her into a kiss.

A tongue stroked her bottom lip just as Emma's hand moved southward. Regina gasped against Emma's smiling lips.

"Miss Swan."

A small chuckle caused soft lips to move against hers.

"I like it when you call me that. But," a small kiss, "you never told me," another kiss, this time deeper, "how you knew my last name?"

Regina gasped and pushed Emma back by her shoulders before she could kiss her again. She blinked several times, realizing that she was doing exactly what she'd promised herself not to do.

"I can't do this, I can't."

She untangled herself from Emma and stepped away from her and the desk, furiously working on tucking her blouse back into her pants. She picked her jacket up from the floor and held in front of her torso like a shield. The look on Emma's face spelled complete confusion.

"What…?"

"No, don't, I… you have to go please."

Regina turned away from Emma and curled trembling hands into the blazer. She heard no movement from behind her and Emma released a shaky breath.

After that wonderful picnic Emma had prepared the day before Regina had allowed herself to become careless. She had given into the illusion that there was nothing wrong, that they could make it work. But that was a lie. Everything was a huge lie she herself had constructed. With the question about her last name, Emma had only scratched the surface.

She squeezed her eyes shut when Emma spoke again.

"Regina. I don't know what you want from me. I understand you're afraid, but I told I would do nothing to hurt you or Henry. Both of you are so important to me, and I'm usually not the kind of person to just jump headlong into a relationship. Hell, commitment is like a red flag, but with you… everything has been so different and for the first time I just feel like maybe –"

"No," Regina interrupted, turning on her heels and marching toward Emma. "You just don't understand. You don't know what I'm going through, you have no idea. You think you know what I am afraid of? Not even close."

She was breathing heavily, her jacket now dangling from one of her hands beside her.

"Then tell me, because I am running out of ideas here. If this isn't about me hurting Henry, then what? Because believe me, it was not part of my life plan to fall for a woman I happened to meet by the side of the road."

"How can you… what?"

"What?"

"Did you just…? Oh god Emma you don't even know… how can you…?" Regina clenched her jaw, trying to ignore the burning behind her eyes. How had this gotten so emotional so quickly?

A watery smile stole itself onto Emma's features and she stepped closer, holding her hands out like she was approaching a cornered animal.

"Listen, you don't have to tell me okay? I can wait, until you're ready but I won't leave. And believe me that that means something coming from me. I don't like to settle and get cozy, I never wanted to really, but now it feels like I might be," Emma whispered, closing the distance between them and carefully wrapping her arms around Regina.

All of her anger and fear dissipated as Emma held her tightly. The smell, the warmth and the feeling of not being pressured caused all fight to leave Regina's body. She rested her forehead against Emma's shoulder and took a deep breath. She raised her arms and rested her hands against Emma's shoulder blades to pull her closer. Regina wasn't sure how had it had come to this. From picking up a stranger by the side of the road to being held by a woman she was falling for, risking everything she held dear in her life.

Lips pressed against her temple and she closed her eyes, taking another deep breath. Emma's hand traveled up and down the expanse of her back, soothing her frayed nerves. This couldn't go on much longer. She was driving herself mad, too afraid of telling the truth because it could not only cost her Emma's trust but so much more.

"Hey what's going on?" Henry's voiced came from the door and Regina immediately took a step back, holding her blazer in front of her still open shirt.

Her mouth fell open and she looked past Emma to where Henry was standing in the doorway with Cora right behind him, one hand securely clamped over his eyes. "Grandma you don't have to cover my eyes if mom and Emma are kissing."

Cora raised an eyebrow at her grandson and pursed her lips. "How do you know that's why I'm doing it?"

"Why else would you? Mom does the same when there is kissing and stuff in movies."

Emma made a choked little sound and stared straight ahead, refusing to turn around at all. Regina was still staring at Henry when Cora caught her eyes.

"Let's just go put away the groceries, alright sweetheart?"

Cora turned Henry around and steered him in the direction of the kitchen with one hand resting against his shoulder. He glanced up at her and said something Regina couldn't hear. Cora smiled and nodded before she let go and Henry hurried back toward Regina and Emma. "I just want you to know that it's cool and that you don't have to hide or anything. I mean not like you should kiss right in front of me, but I'm okay with it."

A smile spread across Regina's features as she took in the innocent little frown on Henry's face. She fought the urge to pull him into a hug because her shirt was still unbuttoned. Instead she nodded, feeling moisture gathering in her eyes. "Thank you dear."

Emma finally turned and grinned at Henry. She reached out and ruffled his hair. "Good to hear kid, now go help your Gran."

He turned right back around and joined Cora who smiled down at him but turned sad eyes to Regina and gave a small barely perceptible nod.

Regina knew she had to do it. At least her mother was here to gather the pieces and help her put them back together afterward.

She wasn't ready for it, but then again she never would be. Not in a week, not in a month. And now that Henry knew something was happening between them, she had to put an end to the lies now. Or never.

"He's awesome," Emma said with a grin as she watched Cora and Henry disappear into the hallway.

Regina threw her blazer onto the couch to her right and buttoned her dress shirt while she walked over to the door of her study before closing it with a quiet 'click'.

She took a moment to get her thoughts into order while her back was turned to Emma and took a breath in an attempt to calm the beating of her heart. She straightened her shoulders and raised her chin, fluffing her hair with both hands. She needed the mayor for this because all Regina Mills, the woman, wanted was to hold on to Emma and everything that was slowly slipping through her fingers.

She turned around and leveled a calm gaze onto Emma.

"Are you alright? What are you -?"

"I need to tell you something," Regina said, her voice steadier than she felt, "and it will be difficult to hear."

"Regina, you sound like you're about to tell me I have only a month left to live," Emma said with a small chuckle that died quickly.

"It concerns Henry, and you," Regina continued unfazed.

She walked several steps into the center of the room where she crossed her arms, her eyes not leaving Emma's face for a single second.

"I knew your last name because I had lawyer investigate you," she said, fully expecting Emma to react with anger to the revelation but instead she only shrugged.

"I kinda suspected you did something like that. I mean I wanted to see you again after that night in the hotel and you didn't seem like the person to leave anything to chance, so I guessed that you had someone dig up my identity, just so you could feel safer."

Regina's arms dropped her arms to her sides again and shook her head.

"And once I came to Storybrooke you probably tried to find out even more than just my name because you wanted to be sure Henry wasn't hanging out with some crook. And it's okay, I'm not mad, I get it. I wouldn't want my kids to be around someone I knew nothing about, sometimes it seems like I feel just as protective of Henry as you do. And yes I do want to take care of him like that, I mean I never thought I would, but it just seems so inevitable and I can't find it in me to fight it."

Regina's throat closed up and she tried to hold on to the last shred of composure she had still left. She dug her nails into the palms of her hands and clenched her jaw.

"He's yours," she choked out.

Emma smiled and inclined her head. "Thank you, for saying that and –"

"No," Regina interrupted, a sneer stealing itself onto her features as she forced the mayor to the forefront to keep her protected from the blow she knew would follow, "he is the child you gave up for adoption eleven years ago."

It seemed to take Emma several seconds to actually understand her words and Regina watched a myriad of emotions wash over her face until she stumbled back as if physically struck. She pressed both palms against her stomach and gaped at Regina.

"How… what… why would you…?"

"It's the truth. I've known since I saw you in the parking lot of the hotel that day, and there was just no way I could tell you."

"You… you lied to me?"

"Yes."

Emma's skin took on a very pale hue and she gasped for air. She looked on the verge of fainting and Regina could almost tell the moment when all of her defenses rose and slammed together like the gates of a fortress.

With a few quick strides she was right in Regina's face, eyes ablaze. "How dare you do this to me?" she hissed between clenched teeth.

"I didn't want this to happen, how was I supposed to know you would actually come to Storybrooke? I tried to make you leave, but you just –"

The tears that had been gathering in her eyes started to slip down her cheeks, but Regina kept her face stoically calm, "you just wouldn't go."

A frustrated groan escaped Emma's throat and she turned away from Regina as if she couldn't even stand the sight of her. She buried both hands in her hair and shook her head. "This is fucking impossible, how can this be real? God I can't…"

Emma turned on her heel and brushed past Regina on her way to the door. The blonde's name was on the tip of her tongue, but calling out to her wouldn't stop Emma from leaving anyway. So Regina let her go. She needed to regroup and think about what she was going to do next. It was for the best.

The front door opened and slammed shut. Regina closed her eyes, more tears escaping through her lashes and making their way down her face.

She sniffled quietly as the smell of Cora's perfume invaded her senses and a moment later her mother's hand came to rest against the small of her back.

"I'm here, I will take care of Henry and you just do what you have to," she said quietly and pressed a kiss against the side of her head before leaving the study again.

Regina wrapped her arms around herself and tried to breathe through the pain in her chest. "So much for figuring it out together," she whispered into the silence that was only interrupted by the ticking of the old clock in the corner of the room.

She chanced a glance at the clock-face and realized that she'd been standing like this for a good fifteen minutes.

She slowly placed one foot in front of the other until she sat down behind her desk and leaned back into the chair. She swiveled around so she could gaze at the clock again.

"I have to tell Henry."