Warning: Fan fictions may cause fan girl squeals, fainting, sexiness, laughing, crying, and fawning.
Caution: my fan fictions may contain Moe, smut, yaoi, violence, rape, yaoi, sexual or adult content, swearing, and/ or yaoi. Did I mention yaoi?
Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man or there would be more yaoi A LOT MORE YOAI
Summary: When two boys can't seem to get their feelings straight it will send both their lives into chaos. How will either of them survive?
A/N: Gomen a sai! Please don't hate me for my late updates! I just have a lot going on, I'm trying very hard though! I promise for the late update I will make this chapter long and I'll write a Christmas one-shot for a different couple and I'll even through in a Lemon later on for this story!
Chapter 5: My fault
Neither of us moved we stared at each other, shock echted into both of our face. At the moment I wasn't sure if I should hug him or beat him into a pulp. I really wanted to do both right now, I mean he just left with no warning, made me hunt him down, and be worried sick about him but yet I just wanted to pick him up and hug him until he couldn't feel his ribs anymore. The debate raged on in my mind as I stared at him shock being my only expression.
"Wh-what are you doing here," He was first to break the silence and although he stuttered I could hear the anger laced in his voice.
I didn't like him being mad, I mean I'm the one who should be mad! "I came to get you what does it look like you baka Moyashi," I laced all the anger I could into my words trying to hide my excitement to see him.
"Well it was a wasted effort just go back to Lavi," He sounded mad but a lingering sound of heart break held and all I could do was wonder why he was so upset and what that baka Usagi had to do with anything.
"Don't fight me on this, I'm tired and hungry and I'd rather not drag you back by your hair," I wanted to tell him I missed him, that I was worried sick the whole time, I wanted to hug him, I wanted to ask him why he'd bring up that baka Usagi but his eyes looked so betrayed and mad, not to mention there's my pride wouldn't let me even if I tried.
"I'm not going back BaKanda, just go home," He turned to walk away. I did the only thing I could think of... I grabbed him by the ponytail and drug him away.
I kept walking even as he squirmed, yelled, kicked, and screamed. What he said next made me stop in my tracks though.
"Let go! I hate you! Leave me alone you god foresaken Usagi-lover! I fucking hate you!"
I whipped around and pulled him up by his wrist. I saw tears that were welled up in his eyes, he tried to look stern and angry but a heart broken expression broke through his facade.
"Let go of me.. Please just go home... I can't stand to look at you any longer.. not when I know he's won.."
"What the fuck are you babbling on about," It wasn't a loving comforting thing but it's all I could think of after such a thing.
He sniffled as each word seemed to choke him. "You know damn well what I'm fucking babbling about! I know what you and that damn red head are up to!"
If I was pissed before, i don't remember cause now I'm just confused.
"I've seen the way you two are with each other, acting like you hate each other but the moment you're alone you get straight to fucking."
I had to force down the bile that threated to come up at that moment, he thought me and Usagi did... THAT! "Are you fucking stupid or something," I know I'm not the most.. emotional person especially when it comes to my words or understanding others, but I really hoped this was some sort of sick joke.
"I saw you leaving Lavi's room the night I left, you were holding you're ass saying next time he should be more gentle, even an "idiot" like me knows what that means! That's why I left you idoit! I couldn't sit back and watch as that pervert had his way with the person I..." He looked down, his voice dropped I almost didn't catch the last bit of it. The last word shocked me, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like an idoit as the word escaped from his lips, "love..."
I let go as he crumpled to the ground and cried. He what?! I what!? i was frozen in shock, so this whole thing was my fault. I was blind and couldn't see what I was doing hurt him. This whole thing could've been stopped if I had just taken that baka Usuagi's advice in the first place. If I had just said something, the Moyashi I love wouldn't be infront of me, broken, sobbing, and god knows how many miles from home... It was my fault, all my fault...
He'll never forgive me for this.. I'll never be able to forgive myself.. I can't face him anymore... I could feel a weird substance falling down my cheeks, it was warm not cold like the rain... I was crying... I can't let him see me cry... I bowed my head quickly and muttered, trying to keep the sobs from wrecking my calm façade, "I'm sorry... forgive me... Allen..." With that I ran. I ran till I couldn't run anymore and even then I pushed myself and ran faster
A/N: Please excuse my sudden change in writing, I feel like I went from my normal, morbid writing to suddenly cracky... I'll do better I promise!
