Emma bursted through Reginas office door slamming the door shut behind her, making the brunette siting behind her table jump up from her seat as the loud bang of the door pulled her away from her paper work. She stood up in shock and leaned onto her table realizing it was Emma that entered.
"Emma? What are you doing? What … ?" Regina observed her with wide eyes as the blond paced around the office nervously, clenching her fists.
"I can't pretend anymore Regina, I just can't " Its now or never Emma. You came here for a reason, and there is no way in hell that you are leaving this place before you tell Regina how you feel.
Regina couldn't keep her eyes off Emma, as the later was obviously having a inner conversation with herself by the way her lips kept moving slightly. Something was going on, something happened and Reginas mind instantly went to Henry.
"What are you talking about? You are making no sense. And where is Henry? Weren't you supposed to pick him up after school?"
"Henry is fine, he is at Granny's with Ruby. Regina, you and I need to talk." Emma finally stooped pacing around and turned to face the brunette that was looking at her with confusion written all over her face.
"Talk about what? And why do you look like you ran a marathon?" She gave Emma a once over before she looked back up into her eyes, trying to read her, but there was too many emotions running around Emmas mind that she had absolutely no chance to read her, to figure out what has happened.
Emma took a deep breath, gathering the last bit of courage that was left somewhere inside her as she uttered the next words silently.
"I can't do this."
"Do what? I don't … "
"Us." She spoke in a whisper.
"Us?" Regina wasn't sure if she heard her correctly. Us? What about us? I had no idea there even was an us. I hoped there might be an us sooner or later, but … this can't be, she can't possibly be talking about …
"What ever this is, this back and forth, I can't do it anymore. I am tired Regina. I am so tired, tired of falling for you and I just can't stop. And you are so blind, Regina, that you don't even see what's right in front of you. You don't see that I … " Emmas words flew out of her mouth before her mind had time to process if what she was doing was actually a good or bad idea. She just had to tell her, she had to get this over with before …
"Emma..." Regina was left speechless. She is falling for me?! She is falling … for me. Emma is …
"I am in love with you Regina." Emma interrupted her thoughts and took a step closer to the table, facing Regina, catching her eyes. "I have been in love with you for a very long time and you don't even know it, you don't know how hard it is to be around you when all I wanna do is kiss you and hold you and protect you, but you just kept pushing me away every time I felt that we were getting closer to each other, having excuse after lame excuse for doing that." She took a deep breath before continuing. "You chose Robin, Regina. A complete stranger, just because some fairy dust told you you were meant to be together. You pushed me away and you chose him."
It all made sense now to Regina. She knew that Emma liked her, but she could have never had imagined that she loved her. She never thought that anyone can really love her, the messed up, crazy, tortured ice queen of a woman that she was. Not even Robin Hood, the man she was destined to be with. She tried, she truly did, to be happy with him, but deep down she knew she will never have her happiness with him. It wasn't her choice, he was not what she wanted. What her heart told her she wanted. That is why she chose the two of them should go their separate ways. It wouldn't have been fair to her, nor him if they staid together any longer. And Emma was right,every time she saw the blond move closer to her, trying to get to know her, trying to touch her, trying to see her, Regina moved away. She was too afraid to let anyone get close, but Emma was under her skin, she managed to crawl under her skin and if all that Emma is saying is true, then she had the same effect on her.
"Emma, please stop." Regina rounded the table and stood in front of Emma, trying to find the right words to comfort her, to show her that she felt the same. But all the words in the world appeared to float away from her mind and she was left speechless once more as she looked into Emmas tears ful emerald eyes.
"I am crazy about you Regina. I am so head over heals in love with you that it actually hurts me when you aren't close to me. And it has to stop, because I can't take it anymore. I can't keep watching you be with him, I can't watch you push me away any more." Tears started rolling down her cheeks, but Emma didn't care, she had to get this over with. She had to break what ever spell she was under, what ever painful curse it was that was eating her alive.
"Emma." Regina closed the distance between them, hesitatingly moving her hand to cup her cheek and swipe away a tear that was falling from those beautiful emerald greens.
"Please stop, stop hurting me. I just want to love you, please let me love you." Emma looked up at Regina and saw that her own chocolate eyes were now glassy from unsheathed tears. She felt her other hand move up to her cheek and her thumb lightly brushing away her tears, but she didn't move her hand away after, she just rested it there, and Emma couldn't help but lean into her palm, lean into the felling of her hands touching her, the closeness between them, the warmth of Reginas body next to hers.
Regina forgot how to breath, she forgot how to move, how to speak, all she knew, all she felt, was Emma. She leaned her forehead onto hers and felt her heart skip a beat as Emmas hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer to her, so dangerously close, but it felt so right. Everything she ever did in the last few weeks, few months, even since she chose to give a chance to the blond and to herself to be friends, felt to incredibly right. It felt so right, but there was always something missing, something both of them secretly knew they wanted, but were too afraid to show it.
Regina let the tears that were gathered in her eyes fall freely down her face as she hesitatingly brushed her lips against Emmas. She felt Emmas hands slowly move up her torso and she broke the small contact of their lips to look into her eyes. She had no doubt that she mirrored her expression, the fear, the hope, the need, the pain. It was all too much to think about, there was too much to talk about, and this moment was not right for it. All she wanted to do now is to kiss her, to feel her, to love her.
She took one last breath before she captured Emmas lips in a hungry kiss. It was much too intense, too fast, too possessive, but there was so much hidden feelings that just ached to come out in the open, and she put all her emotions, all her needs into that one kiss. A kiss, that neither one of them wanted to break.
Emma felt her knees wobble as Reginas tongue darted out of her mouth and ran a wet line over her bottom lip, seeking entrance that the blond willingly gave. Regina slowly turned them around and walked Emma back, towards the office table, without breaking their heated kiss. When Emmas legs reached the table, she got her sense of reality back and opened her eyes in surprise as her mind went full speed ahead trying to get an answer to a million questions at the same time. Regina is kissing me! Regina is really really kissing me! ME!
Regina felt Emmas hands travel over had abdomen and a light push from her side. She opened her eyes and broke the kiss but still holding onto Emmas hips, having no intention on letting her go. It took her a moment to catch her breath and she licked her lip, the taste of Emmas mouth still lingering on her tongue, before she found the strength to speak.
"I, this is not going to be easy Emma. I am not used to, to … " She didn't know what she was trying to say, her mind was blurry and her entire body was still shivering from the kiss she just shared with Emma. Emma, the woman that kept surprising her over and over again and giving her hope.
"To what?"
"Love." She finally found the word she was looking for. "I am not used to feeling loved, and I am not very good at loving Emma. I … "
Emma saw that Regina was struggling to come up with the right thing to say, and she knew that even if Reginas next words end up a lie, end up hurtful, she felt her kiss, she felt her need, she knows there is more to it then Regina will probably admit. She knew that after that kiss, she wont give up on her no matter what. She won't just let her go.
"You what, Regina?"
"I love you. I really love you Emma, but I don't know, I don't know how to love you. I am not very good with this. Love doesn't come easy with me. I am complicated and broken and I don't want to hurt you Emma, I really don't want to be the one hurting you."
Emmas heart broke a little with every word that left her lips. She didn't expect to ever see Regina open up so much to her, to hear those words, to feel her. She smiled softly at her before she intertwined their fingers together and she pulled the brunette even closer to her, so that their noses were almost touching.
"Love is never easy. And you might be a complicated woman Madam Mayor, and a million other things, but you have the kindest, sweetest, most generous heart, filled with so much love, you are just afraid to show it. As for the broken part, let me be there for you, let me love you and take care of you for once. Give me a chance to make love a little bit easier for you. Give us a chance Regina."
Regina felt her heart swell from how full of love each word Emma spoke was. The only reply she could give her in that moment was a soft kiss, a barest brush of lips against lips as her hands moved around her waist, holding her close, as if she were a life saver. She truly was her saviour, the one her heart wanted. And the one she will never again let go of.
