AN-After my chapter about Jacob, I got a lot of questions and comments. I decided to put my view on the subject on the net, but it was too big to fit in an AN, so if you're curious, you can find my thoughts through my profile page, posted as a story called, "Is it possible?"


Edward's Turmoil

As soon as Bella opened the door to Charlie's house, I was speeding home. I left strict instructions for Alice to call me the instant she could see Bella again. Then I announced to a confused family that I was going hunting and left again. Let Alice explain my sudden change of mood if she wanted to. I needed to get out.

I hunted for about and hour, but all I found were rabbits. Even though I wasn't all that thirsty, they whet my appetite and left me looking for something bigger. Maybe I could find a wolf. I rolled my eyes. That kind of thinking would only lead to trouble. I gave up on hunting and just began to run.

Usually running made me feel better. It gave me a release, letting me feel as if I could almost take flight. Tonight I just felt like I was fleeing. I was trying to run from something I could never escape. My mistakes would haunt me for eternity.

And so I found myself at our meadow. I thought I'd be able to relax once I got here. Instead I was sitting up with my legs tucked to my chest, my forehead on my knees. I wished I had stayed to listen. No, Bella deserved more respect than that. My imagination began to torture me with images of what could be happening between them. Charlie and Billy were there, but neither of them had much cared for me. I wondered if Charlie would let Jake go up to Bella's room.

I raised my head to the stars and let out a roar that woke the birds in the trees, making them take flight. I was being foolish. I knew that. I had no doubt of Bella. For hell's sake, in two days she would be my wife! As I thought the word, I felt a slight easing in the constriction of my chest. My wife, I thought again. Again, it helped. I decided to try it out loud.

"My wife." I was able to take a deep breath and sigh. I started thinking of the things that word meant. My wife, my mate, my lover.

I sighed again and lay back on the grass, remembering the kiss she had given me in the car. I had been panicked, desperate. She had very clearly reminded me how much she loved me. I smiled. I let myself drift back through the last few weeks, reviewing the time we spent together. Images of her sleeping, sighing, and laughing passed before my eyes. She had been so happy. I sighed again. Then my mind began to replay our 'practicing' sessions. A familiar and pleasant warmth spread through me.

I heard her voice whisper, "Do you trust me?" Yes, I had answered.

"Do you want to know what I see?" Yes.

"I see a sparkling, magnificent, diamond skinned creature. Who has done horrible, monstrous, and ugly things. And who repents of those things everyday by the life choices he makes."
"And I see a
man," I smiled again in remembrance, "Whose unconditional love of a weak, foolish, danger magnet like me makes him truly beautiful."

I opened my eyes and watched the stars. Bella truly loves me. She knows me, and loves me still. I have made terrible mistakes, caused her unbearable pain. She forgives me and loves me still. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing will ever change Bella. I smiled, picturing the look she got on her face when she was being particularly stubborn. Let Jacob Black give her anything he wants. Bella was constant as the North Star.

My phone rang and I answered it calmly, "Hello?"

"Edward, she's back." It was Alice.

"Alice," I said smiling, "She never left." I hung up and headed straight for Charlie's. He wouldn't be sleeping yet, but I didn't care. I wanted to see my Bella.


AN- I never know when I'm going to get a chance to post, so when I get a chance I do. Hence the short chapter. The next will be in EPOV as well, when Edward gets to Charlie's house. For those of you missing the steamy, there will be some at the end of the next chapter. That's the plan anywho.