DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters and, especially, none of the songs. No infringement intended.

This is meant to be a series in several episodes. Each will begin with an intro meant to reflect the general tone of that particular episode.

The story is set in present day in the amazing prairies of Canada. One final word of warning: some of the dialogue is in Spanish, there is always a translation following so don't despair if you do not understand, just keep your eyes open and you will find the translation. The script formatting is slightly off but try not to hold that against me, most word processors don't allow for easy exact editing of scripts.

Enjoy!

EXT. PARK. DAY.

Start "Closer" by Teegan and Sara. CLAUDIO, HERO, BENEDICT and BEATRICE.

HERO

All I want to get is a little bit closer

All I want to know is, can you come a little closer?

BEATRICE

Here comes the breath before we get a little bit closer

Here comes the rush before we touch, come a little closer

CLAUDIO

The doors are open, the wind is really blowing

The night sky is changing overhead

BENEDICT

It's not just all physical

I'm the type who won't get oh so critical

So let's make things physical

I won't treat you like you're oh so typical

I won't treat you like you're oh so typical

BEATRICE

All you think of lately is getting underneath me

BENEDICT

All I dream of lately is how to get you underneath me

HERO

Here comes the heat before we meet a little bit closer

CLAUDIO

Here comes the spark before the dark, come a little closer

ALL

The lights are off and the sun is finally setting

The night sky is changing overhead

It's not just all physical

I'm the type who won't get oh so critical

So let's make things physical

I won't treat you like you're oh so typical

BENEDICT/CLAUDIO

I want you close, I want you

HERO/BEATRICE

I won't treat you like you're typical

BENEDICT/CLAUDIO

I want you close, I want you

HERO/BEATRICE

I won't treat you like you're typical

CLAUDIO

Here come the dreams of you and me

Here come the dreams

Here come the dreams of you and me

Here come the dreams

BEATRICE

It's not just all physical

I'm the type who won't get oh so critical

So let's make things physical

I won't treat you like you're oh so typical

HERO/BEATRICE

I want you close, I want you

BENEDICT/CLAUDIO

I won't treat you like you're typical

HERO/BEATRICE

I want you close, I want you

BENEDICT/CLAUDIO

I won't treat you like you're typical

ALL

I won't treat you like you're typical

I won't treat you like you're typical

All I want to get is a little bit closer

All I want to know is, can you come a little closer?

INT. HOTEL. DAY.

The HOTEL is where the company is staying for the moment. There is a room that is being used for a welcome party LEONATO has organized for the men. BEATRICE and HERO are busy helping to set up, while LEONATO and ANTONIO are sitting in a corner having a drink. They are wearing costumes, which will consist mostly of masks.

LEONATO

Wasn't John at supper?

ANTONIO

I didn't see him.

BEATRICE

I can never see him without feeling like I've got…heartburn.

HERO

He is of a very…melancholy… disposition.

BEATRICE

That's putting it mildly…you know, if there were a way to combine John and Benedict, the result would be a nice enough man: one is like a pet rock: just there; the other, too much like a little boy: always talking.

LEONATO

So you would have half of Benedict's tongue in John's mouth and half of John's moodiness in Benedict's face—

BEATRICE

And he should be a good dancer, and rich; such a man would win any woman in the world, if he could convince her of it, of course.

LEONATO

Christ, Beatrice, you'll never find a man if you keep talking like that.

BEATRICE

A blessing for which I give thanks morning, noon and night. In any case, I could not possibly endure a man with a beard, I'd rather sleep in the barn!

LEONATO

You could find a man with no beard.

BEATRICE

What should I do with him? Dress him up in one of my dresses and call him my girlfriend? No, uncle: a man with a beard is beyond youth, and one with no beard is less than a man. A man that is beyond youth is not for me, and one that is less than a man, I am not for him.

ANTONIO

Well, Hero, I hope at least you'll listen to your father.

BEATRICE

Oh sure, it's my cousin's job to say "Father, as it please you." But, Hero, let him be good looking, or else go back to your father and say "Father, as it please me."

LEONATO

Well, Beatrice, I hope to see you married one day.

BEATRICE

Not until God makes men of some other material other than earth. Wouldn't it be tragic to be handed off to a piece of dust? No thank you, uncle, I'll have none of that.

LEONATO

In any case, Hero: remember what I've told you about who you should and should not be with.

HERO smiles at her father, but gives BEATRICE a look that shows she needs help out of this situation. BEATRICE steps forward and leads HERO a little ways away, but still close enough for LEONATO to hear.

BEATRICE

Your father is right, Hero: he does know men better than you. And still, remember this: "wooing, wedding and then comes repenting". Make sure you know what you want before you get carried off in the heat of the moment.

LEONATO

And you think you can see everything clearly, Beatrice?

BEATRICE

I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by daylight.

LEONATO shakes his head and walks away. HERO looks relieved and thanks BEATRICE, who goes back to setting out plates and glasses. ANTONIO laughs at the scene.

BEATRICE heads toward a window. She looks outside at the pool, where BENEDICT and CLAUDIO are sitting and drinking. For once, she doesn't roll her eyes, but actually looks sad. As she turns away, BENEDICT looks up at the window and sees her. He keeps his eyes on her for a few moments before turning back to look at CLAUDIO, who is completely oblivious to anything.

EXT. lake. DAY. 11 years earlier.

The pool changes into a lake and 19 year old BENEDICT and BEATRICE enter from the right. It's early morning and they're walking along the shoreline, both of them holding cups of coffee.

BENEDICT

You know, I am going to miss this.

BEATRICE

The humidity, the mosquitoes or the half sand, half mud?

BENEDICT

You know what I mean.

BEATRICE

I know. I'm going to miss this too.

BENEDICT

I suppose promising I'll come back to visit doesn't make much sense.

BEATRICE

Well, why would you? What could possibly keep you coming back to Messina?

BENEDICT

Maybe I'll miss the mosquitoes.

BEATRICE

Or the incredibly flat view.

BENEDICT

Nah, it's the mosquitoes. It's just not an adventure unless you're risking all your blood being sucked out of you anytime you step out the door.

BEATRICE

Don't forget the winter. I'm sure you'll miss it starting in October and ending in May.

BENEDICT

I can always sleep in a freezer, I suppose, just to keep me used to the climate.

BEATRICE

Benedict?

BENEDICT

Yeah?

BEATRICE

I'm going to miss you.

BENEDICT

Come on, let's head back to town. I think we should get good and properly wasted, one last time.

EXT. TOWN. DAY. continuous.

They head back and drive back to town. They stop and buy some beer and liquor. The LIQUOR ATTENDANT gives them a look, but BENEDICT promptly pulls out an ID. They get back in the car and drive out to the park. They sit in the swings and pop open their drinks. They talk (inaudible) and the drinks quickly disappear. They are clearly drunk as BEATRICE starts swinging, and is not very stable.

Ext. park. day. continuous

BEATRICE

(in sing song)

We should go soon, Hero will be out of school soon…soon…

BENEDICT

Well I can't drive…I don't think I can even find the car at this point…soon…

BEATRICE

Come on…we can go back to my place, my uncle is very generous with his basement.

BENEDICT

Not sure he'll apprecitate our state of either one of us now.

BEATRICE

It's early enough he's at work though…Hero will be out of school soon, soon…she won't be home for…a while.

BENEDICT

Oh…does she got a date or somefin?

BEATRICE

Somefin…dunno…some…project or…somefin

They get up and amble the few blocks to LEONATO'S house.

INT. LEONATO'S HOUSE. DAY. CONTINUOUS.

BENEDICT and BEATRICE walk in and plop down on the couch, more out of a lack of coordination than anything else. BENEDICT grabs on to BEATRICE'S hand.

BENEDICT

I'll miss you too.

BEATRICE

(Trying to sound sarcastic but not quite able to get there)

Well, thank you, took you long 'nough.

BENEDICT

I'm no good with words…you know…

BEATRICE

You're good with words, you just lose your nerve when you get…nervous…

BENEDICT

You always have something to say, don't you?

BEATRICE

Maybe...maybe I've just never met a comment I can't shut up and talk to...

BENEDICT

You're drunk.

BEATRICE

You're stupid.

BENEDICT

I know.

The silence that ensues becomes awkward. BEATRICE leans over BENEDICT. They stare at each other.

BENEDICT

Not to sound like an ass but...can we just get to the part where we move this to a more...private part of the house?

BEATRICE

God yes, I thought you'd never ask.

Begin "Can't Keep My Hands Off You" by Simple Plan. BEATRICE and BENEDICT are trying to move toward the basement. They don't make it past the kitchen as clothes start flying off. It should be clear this is happening over a number of days.

BENEDICT

Oh oh oh

BEATRICE

Let's go

BENEDICT

My Fender Strat sits all alone

Collecting dust in the corner

BEATRICE

I haven't called any of my friends

I've been MIA since last December

BOTH

My blackberry's filled up with E-mail

My phone calls go straight through to voice mail

BENEDICT

'Cause on the street, or under the covers

We're stuck like two pieces of Velcro

BEATRICE

At the park, in the back of my car

It don't matter what I do,

BENEDICT

No, I can't keep my hands off you

BEATRICE

Can't keep my, can't keep my

BENEDICT

Can't keep my hands off you

BEATRICE

Can't keep my, can't keep my

BENEDICT

There's fungus growing in the icebox

All I got left are Fruit Roll-Ups

BEATRICE

My clothes are six months old

But I don't care, no, no, no, I don't notice

BOTH

My bills pile is so high, it is shocking

The repo man just keeps on knocking

BENEDICT

'Cause on the street, or under the covers

We're stuck like two pieces of Velcro

BEATRICE

At the park, in the back of my car

It don't matter what I do,

BENEDICT

No, I can't keep my hands off you

BEATRICE

Can't keep my, can't keep my

BENEDICT

Can't keep my hands off you

BEATRICE

Can't keep my, can't keep my

BOTH

Sorry to all my friends and to anyone I offend

But I can't help it, no, I can't help it

BENEDICT

No, I can't keep my hands off you

BEATRICE

Can't keep my, can't keep my

BENEDICT

Can't keep my hands off you

BEATRICE

Can't keep my, can't keep my

BOTH

'Cause on the street, or under the covers

We're stuck like two pieces of Velcro (stuck like two pieces of Velcro)

At the park, in the back of my car

It don't matter what I do,

BENEDICT

No, I can't keep my hands off you

BEATRICE

Can't keep my, can't keep my

BENEDICT

Can't keep my hands off you

BEATRICE

Can't keep my, can't keep my

As music fades, BEATRICE and BENEDICT fall asleep.

Cut to

An alarm goes off. BEATRICE opens her eyes and rolls over. She is in her own bed, alone.

Cut to

BENEDICT who is trying (and failing) to find the origin of the alarm. He is back in his own bed and alone as well. BENEDICT finds his phone and shuts off the alarm and drops back to bed.

Cut to

BEATRICE sitting up. They both look severely pleased with each other and they smile.

INT. HOTEL. DUSK. PRESENT DAY.

BEATRICE walks out of the room where she is done setting up. She looks around and spots HERO, sitting at the reception, looking lost in thought. BEATRICE approaches her. HERO doesn't notice.

BEATRICE

Nervous?

HERO

(Jumping out of her skin)

Jesus, Beatrice!

BEATRICE

That's for a guilty conscience to say, Hero.

HERO

Sorry, sorry. I was just, thinking, I guess.

BEATRICE

You guess you were thinking? I would guess you were thinking about something from the look on your face or maybe, someone?

HERO

(Embarrassed)

I just spaced out there for a second.

BEATRICE

Oh, God...next you'll be singing to yourself and doodling little hearts on any poor piece of paper within reach!

HERO

It's just been...well, I feel so...different, from the last time I saw him, you know?

BEATRICE

One: you have to give me a name, Hero; otherwise you might be talking about any Tom, Dick or Harry. Second: you have nothing to worry about! That boy has been after you since he started pulling on your hair in grade school.

HERO

Grade school?

BEATRICE

Yes...grade school. We are talking about Claudio, correct?

HERO

Oh, yeah. I just...I can't remember him from grade school very well.

BEATRICE

Well, from what I remember: he pulled your hair, then took to ignoring you, then took to trying to talk to you but never succeeded. After that...well, I guess he kind of faded into the background a little because I can't remember you mentioning him much during high school.

HERO

Oh, he was there, it was just by then you'd gone and come back...you know...you didn't really want to talk about that stuff anymore.

BEATRICE

(Stiffly)

Oh right. That stuff.

HERO

Beatrice? I now you don't like to talk about it but...what did happen between you and—

BEATRICE

(Harshly)

If you know I don't like talking about it why do you ask?

HERO doesn't answer, just looks down and bites her lips. BEATRICE rolls her eyes.

BEATRICE

It was just...stupid. It was amazing and I was so happy and then...well, he went for training and-it went wrong, Hero. Something always goes wrong where men are involved.

HERO

I don't believe that.

BEATRICE

Yes but, you are a much sweeter kid than I ever was.

HERO

You always say that. I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean.

BEATRICE

It just means that you are a sweet kid.

INT. HOTEL. NIGHT.

The party is well under way and there are many people. Most are wearing masks, although you can see JOHN is sitting in a corner, drinking, without any sort of costume on. BORACHIO is sitting with JOHN, drinking and looking over at MARGARET; CONRAD sits next to JOHN, very committed to his drinking. JOHN is staring intently where PEDRO sits, talking to HERO. She keeps blushing and looking slyly at CLAUDIO, who is by the bar, drinking heavily and looking nervous. BORACHIO takes one long swing from his drink and gets up to go toward MARGARET, they start dancing, which LEONATO, at the far end of the room, clearly does not approve. BEATRICE and BENEDICT are keeping their distance from each other, but they both keep looking for each other. JOHN finishes his drink, and gets up to get another, he runs into CLAUDIO, who is looking a little drunk and still pounding back the drinks.

JOHN

Having fun? I'm sure my brother is.

CLAUDIO

(Looking toward PEDRO and HERO)

Uhm… I suppose it's…

JOHN

Well, I can't really blame him.

CLAUDIO

Whadya mean?

JOHN

It's not every day you get such a…rare prize, as Hero. I gather she's quite the catch.

CLAUDIO

How do you…? I mean, why do you..?

JOHN

I heard him talking about her earlier today. It's one of those things that sound like a good idea but then when you're sober...

He shrugs and pretends not to notice CLAUDIO is raging mad.

CLAUDIO finishes off his drink and storms out, punching a column and flipping over a chair as he steps out. PEDRO looks toward JOHN, who shrugs innocently. PEDRO excuses himself and walks over to BENEDICT and says something to him. BENEDICT nods and heads after CLAUDIO. Once he is outside, he turns right, at which point he runs into BEATRICE. His mask is on and despite the fact that BEATRICE recognizes him, she pretends not too and is extra nice to him.

BEATRICE

Need any help?

BENEDICT

No, I was just looking for…did you see anyone run past here?

BEATRICE

No. This hallway doesn't really lead anyway, just to the storage room.

BENEDICT begins walking away.

BEATRICE (CONT)

So, are you enjoying yourself?

BENEDICT

(Confused)

You're asking me?

BEATRICE

You're the only one here, Claudio, who else would I be asking?

BENEDICT thinks she doesn't recognize him.

BENEDICT

Oh, right...uhm...yeah, this is fun.

BEATRICE

It's a shame about Benedict, though. Just standing around in the corner, like a creep. I wonder if he's finished off the dessert table yet, or worse, if he's dried up the bar! He was always good at getting the stuff down but keeping it down...well...never was his strong suit.

BENEDICT

He's not as bad as all of that—

BEATRICE

Well, you haven't known him for long. I'll give you some advice: just remember he may look and sound pretty good from afar, but he's just a dressed up clown. He'll make you laugh, I'm sure, but he'll never be more than a child, and an annoying one at that.

BENEDICT becomes upset. BEATRICE smiles.

BEATRICE (CONT)

Oh, but never mind...just don't let him talk your ear off, or give you advice on dressing, or give him any money and never, ever, say you're buying lunch; and especially, just keep him away from Tim's...you'll see your entire pay check disappear faster than he can pack the crullers.

BENEDICT

Well I'll watch out for that...good bye.

BENEDICT walks away, tearing his mask off and muttering under his breath.

BEATRICE

What? Have I said something to upset you?

BEATRICE laughs to herself and turns to go back to the party.

EXT. PARKING LOT. NIGHT. CONTINUOUS.

BENEDICT steps outside, crushing his mask in anger. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. As he does he hears someone smashing something, he turns the corner and finds CLAUDIO, throwing empty bottles against a tree.

BENEDICT

Claudio! Come with me, Pedro would like to talk to you.

CLAUDIO

If he wants to talk to me he can come and get me himself!

BENEDICT

Aw...come on! Don't play the part of the angry puppy! Stop hiding and abusing the local forestry and come back. Pedro has Hero...

CLAUDIO

(Incensed)

Well, I wish him joy of her!

BENEDICT doesn't leave. CLAUDIO smashes one last bottle and takes off. BENEDICT starts by following him but thinks twice about it and stops. He goes back to crushing the mask.

BENEDICT

Packing crullers. "Oh, don't lend him any money" Well...she..stupid piece of-of a woman! She's one to talk, always prancing around like she owns the town. Selfish, self-centred, conceited, self-serving, jealous, manipulative, whiny...well, I'll have my revenge.

BENEDICT is about to continue when PEDRO rounds the corner and catches him talking to himself. BENEDICT becomes quiet, but keeps muttering under his breath occasionally.

PEDRO

Where's Claudio? I thought I asked you to go and bring him back.

BENEDICT

Well, you only said to go look for him.

PEDRO

You're going to be like that?

BENEDICT

Sorry, no. I found him here, abusing this poor tree with bottles and I did tell him that you had helped him out with Hero and he just...

Makes and explosion sound.

BENEDICT(CONT)

-And walked away. As "melancholy as a lodge in a warren", as the saying goes.

PEDRO

Well, did he say why he was so upset?

BENEDICT

Well, truth be told...I think he might've gotten the impression that you well...you know, "stole his birds' nest", as it were.

PEDRO

Are you drunk or upset?

BENEDICT looks confused.

PEDRO(CONT)

I know you well enough to know, you speak like my grandmother when you're either upset or drunk, which are usually the same thing so, out with it.

BENEDICT

(Defiantly)

I thought we were talking about you.

PEDRO

Beatrice had quite a lot to say about you.

BENEDICT

Agh! She has quite a lot to say about me? Well, I've got quite a bit more to say about her! She told me, not realizing it was me she was talking to, that I was well...an idiot! And good for nothing but for clearing tables! She kept going on and on and on and on and on for so long that even a dead man would have risen from the grave and answered her. She-the nerve-she-agh! Every time she opens her mouth just-

He makes a stabbing motion.

BENEDICT (CONT)

With words! Every time! I wish you would just stop talking about her!

PEDRO is quiet.

BENEDICT (CONT)

I swear, as long as she is here a man can live as quiet in Hell as in the middle of the prairies. All she needs do is come near you and it's like...it's like she's been conjured! Not even the devil would take her and that's why he's thrown her back into the world! If her breath were as bad as what she says she would be truly unbearable. I would not marry her even if she had well-I would not marry her, no matter what. I swear, as long as she's around all horror follows her and well...like...meanness and...evil, just...evil.

PEDRO is amused.

PEDRO

Oh, look, here she comes.

BENEDICT turns to see that BEATRICE is, indeed coming. He kicks a tree when he does. CLAUDIO is following BEATRICE, looking sullen and defeated.

BENEDICT

Sir, do you have any errands to send me on now? I will go wherever you wish me to go. Would you like me to bring you a hair of Saskquatch's coat? How about the antlers of a moose? How about a beer? A drink? Pop? A snack? Anything you want, anything at all, so long as I don't have to spend one single second in the vicinity of this...harpy!

BEATRICE attempts to look amused, but is clearly hurt. She makes a face at BENEDICT, while PEDRO laughs.

PEDRO

Thank you, Ben, but I can't really think of anything.

BENEDICT

Well then, you'll excuse me, I cannot endure "my Lady Tongue".

BENEDICT storms off, making sure to glare at BEATRICE as they pass each other. She glares right back, before turning to PEDRO, all traces of anger gone.

PEDRO

Beatrice, I do believe you have fallen out of Benedict's good graces.

BEATRICE

So I have. I was in his good graces for a while but..well, I fell out of them. Not so much from my doing but because he made a point to throw me off the balcony. Anyway...I brought you Claudio.

PEDRO

What's wrong with you? You look absolutely awful. Sick?

CLAUDIO

Not particularly.

PEDRO

Angry?

CLAUDIO

Not really.

BEATRICE

He's just silent. Silent and fuming, and looking a little bit green for it.

PEDRO

Well, I think you might just be right. Claudio! Stop being such an ass! All I've done is what I said I would. Hero is in there now, waiting for you.

CLAUDIO

Hero? She's...mine?

PEDRO

Well, time will tell if that's true but, for now you could at least go talk to her.

CLAUDIO laughs and turns to go back inside. PEDRO shares a look with BEATRICE but they both shrug and roll their eyes.

PEDRO (CONT)

Well, then, back to Benedict-

BEATRICE

Nothing but a dark spot in the distant past.

PEDRO

You upset him more than any other person living, I think. You put him down.

BEATRICE

If that were true, I would risk becoming the mother of fools. I would not take Benedict, not at this point anyway, and so all is well. But what about you? You don't happen to have a brother like you, would you?

PEDRO

Well, no. Just the one.

BEATRICE

A shame...unless you would-

PEDRO

Oh...well, I couldn't...you don't want someone like me, trust me. I'm-the polite term is "damaged goods".

BEATRICE

Aren't we all?

Start "Caraluna" by Bacilos. PEDRO and BEATRICE in Spanish singing throughout.

PEDRO

Quien dice que no duelen

Las huellas en la arena?

Tu huella el mar se la llevo

Pero la luna sigue ahí

Pero esa luna es mi condena

Despacio en la mañana

A gritos por la noche

Las voces vivas del recuerdo se disfrazan de intuición

Y en una voz tu voz se esconde

Y en una voz tu voz se esconde

Y yo se que tal vez tu nunca escuches mi canción yo se

Y yo se que tal vez te siga usando así robandote mi inspiración

Mientras siga viendo tu cara en la cara de la luna

Mientras siga escuchando tu voz entre las olas entre la espuma

Mientras tenga que cambiar la radio de estación

Por que cada canción me hable de ti de ti de ti

Me hable de ti

La vida se me esconde

Detrás de una promesa sin cumplir

De donde nace alguna inspiración

De donde nace otra canción

Y ya no se bien quien se esconde

Y ya no se lo que se esconde

PEDRO/BEATRICE

Y yo se que tal vez tu nunca escuches mi canción yo se

Y yo se que tal vez te siga usando así robandote mi inspiración

Mientras siga viendo tu cara en la cara de la luna

Mientras siga escuchando tu voz entre las olas entre la espuma

Mientras tenga que cambiar la radio de estación

Por que cada canción me hable de ti de ti de ti

Me hable de ti

Mientras siga viendo tu cara en la cara de la luna

Mientras siga escuchando tu voz entre las olas entre la espuma

Mientras tenga que cambiar la radio de estación

Por que cada canción me hable de ti de ti de ti

Me hable de ti

PEDRO

Yo seguiré buscando

BEATRICE

Yo seguiré escapando

Tal vez de ti tal vez de mi

PEDRO

Yo seguiré buscandole una explicación a esta canción tambien

BOTH Change to empty room. PEDRO and BEATRICE appear to face each other and dance, as camera pans to side we see they are actually dancing alone. Camera circles to show that BEATRICE is dancing around a static BENEDICT, PEDRO is dancing around a static ANONYMOUS MAN.

PEDRO/BEATRICE

Mientras siga viendo tu cara en la cara de la luna

Mientras siga escuchando tu voz entre las olas entre la espuma

Mientras tenga que cambiar la radio de estación

Por que cada canción me hable de ti de ti de ti

Mientras siga viendo tu cara en la cara de la luna

Mientras siga escuchando tu voz entre las olas entre la espuma

Mientras tenga que cambiar la radio de estación

Por que cada canción me hable de ti de ti de ti

Me hable de ti

Me hablé de ti

De ti

Me hablé de ti ay ay ay

"Caraluna" translation:

Who says footprints in the sand

never hurt?

Your print was taken by the sea

But the moon remains

But that moon is my sentence

In the morning, slowly

At night, screaming

The voices of remembrance are

disguised as intuition

And in someone's voice your voice hides (x2)

chorus

And I know that you might never her my song

And I know that I might still use you, stealing my inspiration

While I can still see your face in the face of the Moon

While I can still hear your voice in the waves

While I still need to change the radio station

Because every song reminds me of you

Life hides from me

Behind a broken promise

And from it there comes inspiration

There comes another song

And I don't know who is hiding (x2)

CHORUS (X3)

The static BENEDICT and MAN disappear into the shadows. PEDRO and BEATRICE begin walking back around the building. An awkward silence ensues.

Int. Hotel. Night. Continuous.

As they near the entrance they can see BENEDICT in the lobby, talking to himself, evidently still upset. BEATRICE rolls her eyes but is decidedly more dejected than angry. PEDRO is clearly amused and is about to say something when LEONATO walks out the door, startling all three of them. BENEDICT glares at BEATRICE and disappears up a set of stairs, stumbling as he does so.

LEONATO

Beatrice, there you are! I've been looking for you, we need the key to the back room, we need some more clean glasses. And while you're there would you mind—

He stops as he realizes he might have of interrupted something.

leonato

Am I interrupting something?

BEATRICE

No. Nothing important anyway.

BEATRICE walks inside and heads toward the back, under the stairs. PEDRO looks after her, which LEONATO takes the wrong way.

LEONATO

If you two were busy or up to something I can always go back and ask Hero for a key, she has one as well, or should have so long as she hasn't lost it.

PEDRO

You would rather interrupt your daughter during her first grown up date…sort off…than your niece who was doing nothing important?

LEONATO

I wouldn't want to come between you—

PEDRO

(Holding up a hand to quiet LEONATO)

You got the wrong idea, Leonato. There is nothing of the sort between your niece and myself.

LEONATO seems upset about this.

PEDRO (CONT)

God! She cannot hear tell of a husband!

LEONATO

It is a shame. She can be quite a nice young lady, when she tries.

PEDRO

She would be an excellent match for Benedict.

LEONATO

Oh well...ha...that ship has sailed, from what I understand. In any case, they would talk each other mad before the week was out.

PEDRO

Well, it's true they might try to kill each other a bit but, I bet I can get them together. We have one month holidays before we each take up our posts, correct? Well, I'll make sure the time won't be wasted. I'll show you how we can "teach" Benedict to fall in love with Beatrice, we'll get Claudio and Hero to help us out as well. What do you say? Do you feel like taking on that bet?

LEONATO

Well...I'm not sure I like the odds but I suppose I have nothing to lose, except for Beatrice's "colorful" side. I'll take that bet.

PEDRO

Great! Come, let's go back to the party, I'll tell you my plan and we'll start tomorrow.

They walk back inside.

Ext. Pool. Day.

BENEDICT, still half in his clothes from the night previous, lies on the side of the pool, feet in the water, looking all around hung over and unconscious. A young EMPLOYEE is straightening up the loungers when he notices BENEDICT. He goes to him and kicks him, lightly. BENEDICT doesn't respond. He nudges him again, and he moans. The EMPLOYEE then shakes him, hard. BENEDICT opens his eyes and signals he is fine. He sits up, slowly, the hangover clearly hitting him. The EMPLOYEE goes back to the loungers. BENEDICT splashes some water on his face, then splashes at the pool with his legs idly for a bit. He looks around, bored already.

BENEDICT

You there! Uhm...boy!

EMPLOYEE

Sir?

BENEDICT

In my room, by the window there is a book, bring it here.

EMPLOYEE

But...I'm here already.

BENEDICT

I know that; but I would have you go and come here again.

EMPLOYEE, not too amused, starts toward the hotel. BENEDICT keeps splashing the water with his legs, trying to amuse himself.

BENEDICT (CONT)

Well, I do wonder how when one sees that a man can be such an idiot in love, one could turn around and become an idiot oneself! Yeah...that man is Claudio. I remember when he would do nothing but speak plain and to the point; when he would live for his work and working was his life. And now? Oh, Lord! One can hardly get one word in with him if it's not about loving and romancing and...all that stuff. I wonder, would I, could I, behave like such an ass? I'm not sure, I think not. I won't swear my life on it but love could make me an oyster...in any case, even if I am made an oyster I will never be such a moron. I have eyes: I see good looking women, but I am good; I see smart women, but I am good; I see virtuous women, and still, I'm good. Well, until I meet one smart, virtuous and good looking woman, no woman will ever have a hold on me. Rich she should be, obviously; smart, that's for sure; with a good reputation, or I'll never take that from her; attractive, or I'll never look at her; mild, or she won't be allowed near me; she should be able to speak well, have good taste in music, be well educated and her hair…well, that'll be whatever colour it please God.

Int. Hotel. Continuous.

PEDRO, CLAUDIO and LEONATO are looking out the window at BENEDICT. They watch him keep talking to himself, emphasizing his words with the occasional splash of his legs. They laugh.

PEDRO

He does love the sound of his own voice, doesn't he? Well, let's hope he's well enough to hear us coming.

EXT. POOL. CONTINUOUS.

PEDRO, CLAUDIO and LEONATO step outside and begin laughing loudly, BENEDICT rises and tries to find a place to hide. He stumbles over a few loungers, which the rest pretend not to see, and finally settles behind a few crates of beer stacked up next to the bar. The others move to the bar.

PEDRO

Come, should we hear some of this music?

CLAUDIO

(Awkward and forced)

For sure, it's still fairly quiet out here, as if the morning wants us to hear this music.

PEDRO

Well then, let's hear it.

They plug in an Ipod and fall to ridiculously hearing the music with rapt attention. CLAUDIO is the worst of them as actors.

Start "Oh Love" Green Day. BENEDICT will sing, mockingly. All the others sing along the song in earnest. PEDRO looks serious throughout.

CLAUDIO

Oh Love, oh love

Won't you rain on me tonight?

Oh life, oh life

Please don't pass me by

Don't stop, don't stop

Don't stop when the red lights flash

Oh ride, free ride

Won't you take me close to you

ALL

Far away, far away

Waste away tonight

I'm wearing my heart on a noose

Far away, far away

Waste away tonight

Tonight my heart's on the loose

PEDRO

Oh lights and action

I just can't be satisfied

Oh losers and choosers

Won't you please hold on my life

Oh hours and hours

Like the dog years of the day

Old story, same old story

Won't you see the light of day

ALL

Far away, far away

Waste away tonight

I'm wearing my heart on a noose

Far away, far away

Waste away tonight

Tonight my heart's on the loose

PEDRO

Talk myself out of feeling

CLAUDIO

Talk my way out of control

BENEDICT

Talk myself out of falling in love

Falling in love with you

Oh love, Oh love

Won't you rain on me tonight

Oh ride, free ride

Won't you take me close to you

ALL

Far away, far away

Waste away tonight

I'm wearing my heart on a noose

Far away, far away

Waste away tonight

Tonight my heart's on the loose

Far away, far away

Waste away tonight

I'm wearing my heart on a noose

Far away, far away

Waste away tonight

Tonight my heart's on the loose

Tonight my heart's on the loose...

Tonight my heart's on the loose...

The song ends. There is an awkward silence as no one moves or makes a sound. BENEDICT is about to try to sneak off when PEDRO stands up and blocks his only escape route.

PEDRO

Well, that was a good song.

BENEDICT

If it had been a dog that had howled like that, they would've kicked it.

PEDRO

Anyway...so, come here Leonato, you were telling me how Beatrice is in love with Benedict?

BENEDICT slips and falls flat on his ass when he hears this. He hurts himself and attempts to not make a noise, a task at which he fails miserably. As he struggles to get back up, the others try not to laugh at BENEDICT.

CLAUDIO

I did never think Beatrice would have loved any man.

LEONATO

No, nor I; but it's most wonderful that she should feel this way about Benedict. I always thought she just hated him.

BENEDICT

(Louder than he should)

Is this possible? Seriously?

LEONATO

(Faltering)

Well, I for one can't really explain it..except that she loves him with an..uhm...angry passion.

PEDRO

Maybe it's a joke.

CLAUDIO

I would not put it past her.

LEONATO

(Unconvincing)

Oh God no! A joke! There was never enough passion in any to make a joke out of this passion that she has shown...with...uhm...passion!

PEDRO

(Annoyed)

Why? How does she act?

LEONATO

How does she act? Well..she will...sit you...you heard my daughter tell you how.

PEDRO

(Forceful)

How?

The silence becomes awkward. BENEDICT begins to rise by this point, almost forgetting himself. PEDRO sees him, pretends not to and turns the others around.

PEDRO (CONT)

You amaze me! I would have thought she was invincible against such-"assaults of affection".

LEONATO

I would have sworn it, especially against Benedict.

BENEDICT

I would think this was a trick but Leonato is saying as much. He would never lie.

CLAUDIO

(Looking back at BENEDICT. Making fun of him and almost too loud)

He's infected for sure!

PEDRO drags CLAUDIO away a little. BENEDICT is forced to try to sneak closer, which does not go well. There is nowhere for him to hide, he chooses the back of a lounger, even though it does very little to hide him.

PEDRO

Has Beatrice told Benedict about how she feels?

LEONATO

No; and swears she never will.

CLAUDIO

It's true...how could she tell him of her feelings when she herself has made such fun of them, and him, in the past?

LEONATO

She says even more! "I would not tell him how I feel", she says, "and even if he felt the same I would not treat him well, I would still insult him."

CLAUDIO

Yes! And that's when she falls on her knees, cries, sobs, tears her hair, prays, curses "Oh, sweet Benedict! God give me patience!"

BENEDICT stands at this point, clearly in plain sight. The others make a desperate attempt to pretend he is not there. The rest is spoken in a forced attempt to ignore BENEDICT, who does not crouch down again, but looks completely dumbstruck.

LEONATO

She does, so my daughter says. With so much force sometimes Hero is afraid Beatrice will do...something stupid.

PEDRO

It would be good that we told Benedict of this.

CLAUDIO

What for? He'll only make fun of her.

PEDRO

That's true, and it's a shame for, in reality, she is nothing to sneeze at.

CLAUDIO

And she's so very smart.

PEDRO

In everything but in loving Benedict.

LEONATO

Well, in any case I do feel sorry for her, she is my niece after all.

PEDRO

I think it would be good if we told Benedict, see what he would say.

LEONATO

Do you really think it's such a good idea?

CLAUDIO

Well, it might be just as well. And Hero says she will die, for she'll die if she lets him know, and she'll die if she does not; and she'll die if he likes her, and she'll die if he won't. Well...she would rather die than show even one less ounce of meanness than she usually does.

PEDRO

I can't blame her for that because Benedict would probably mock her, as you know, that man has quite a mean streak in him.

BENEDICT makes a noise, at which point he remembers he should crouch down. He does so, and the rest pretend not to see him. The dialogue continues to be awkward.

CLAUDIO

He is a very proper man.

PEDRO

He does seem that way on the outside.

CLAUDIO

And also very smart.

PEDRO

Occasionally, it does look like there is a light on between his ears.

CLAUDIO

And he is brave.

PEDRO

I suppose so, he is at least discreet: he'll either look to avoid conflict all together or face it well enough. Well I am sorry for your niece. Shall we go see Benedict, and tell him?

CLAUDIO

On second thought, better not. Let it wear down with time.

LEONATO

No, that's impossible: she may wear her heart out first.

PEDRO

In that case, we'll wait, and hear more of this from Hero. I do love Benedict but I wish he would examine his conscience and see how unworthy he is of Beatrice.

Awkward silence. After a few seconds, LEONATO motions toward the hotel.

LEONATO

Should we go in? Breakfast must be ready.

CLAUDIO

If Benedict doesn't change his tune with this, I'll never trust myself again.

PEDRO

All that is good but now, the same bait must be dangled for Beatrice, but that'll be up to Hero and Margaret. I know! Let's send Beatrice to call Benedict in for breakfast!

The three go back inside the hotel. BENEDICT rises and wanders out. He is limping from his fall but is also in shock. He keeps making toward the hotel and then stops, eventually he oversteps the edge of the pool and falls in. He quickly crawls out when the EMPLOYEE comes back, his book in hand. The EMPLOYEE is very uncomfortable and just drops the book on a lounger and goes back inside.

BENEDICT

This can't be a trick! They were very serious, when talking about it. They say they heard if from Hero, she would never lie! They seem to feel sorry for Beatrice. In love with me? Why? Never mind that, I must respond in kind! I have heard what they think of me: they say I'll make fun of her and let my pride get the best of me, they also say that she'd rather die than show any affection. Well, I never thought about marr- Well, but I can't seem proud of this: "happy are they who hear their detractions and can put them to mending." They say that Beatrice is "nothing to sneeze at", I can agree with that: she's smart, attractive, etc. Well then, I know what I must do: I must be horribly in love with her. It's true that I may have some sarcastic comments thrown my way but, well, men are allowed to change their minds, right? Love is something you kind of...grow into, you can't just jump in without testing the waters first. Will I let bad jokes written on cheap paper beat me? No! Besides, the world must be peopled! When I said I would die a bachelor, I just never thought I'd live long enough to get marr-well...anyway... Here she comes! I do believe I see some "marks of love" in her.

BEATRICE approaches BENEDICT, evidently not amused at the prospect. She's not looking her best, her uniform doesn't look at tidy as it has before and she clearly looks, at the very least, tired, if not hung over as well. BENEDICT, realizing he is soaked in last night's clothes, makes a run for the back of the bar, where at least some of himself is hidden. BEATRICE gives him a look and a roll of the eyes because she now has to walk even further to talk to him. She impatiently drums her fingers on the bar as BENEDICT looks all stupid, trying to put on a friendly smile.

BEATRICE

They sent me to get you for breakfast.

BENEDICT

Beatrice, you didn't have to go through all that trouble just for me.

BEATRICE

It wasn't any trouble. If it had been I would not be here.

BENEDICT

You take pleasure then in the message?

BEATRICE

Oh sure! Just as much pleasure as you would take on the point of a knife.

She is expecting a comeback. BENEDICT only keeps smiling stupidly.

BEATRICE (CONT)

You're not hungry? Fine by me, see you later.

BEATRICE walks away and goes back indoors.

BENEDICT

Ha! "They sent me to get you for breakfast"...there's a double meaning in there somewhere. "It wasn't any trouble. If it had been I would not be here." Well, that's as much as to say "anything to do with you is never any trouble", am I right? Well, whatever...if I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not love her, I am a dog. Yes! A dog! An ugly one! With the fleas and the ticks and the—

Forcing himself to stop.

BENEDICT(CONT)

I will go...get her picture.

BENEDICT goes back inside the hotel and heads back to his room.

Int. Hotel. Continuous.

BEATRICE stalks back to the front desk. She turns a corner to the stairs when she runs into HERO and MARGARET. Their backs are turned and they pretend not to see her, but of course they have.

HERO

(Making sure BEATRICE can hear every word)

No, Meg, she is too disdainful. I don't think she'd be happy about this at all.

BEATRICE is about to let them know she is there but stops when MARGARET speaks.

MARGARET

But are you sure that Benedict is so much in love with Beatrice?

BEATRICE runs back around the corner at this point, as she does so she slams straight into a door.

HERO

That's what Claudio told me, why would he lie?

MARGARET

I think you should talk to her, see what she says about it.

HERO

I thought so too, at first, but then I was thinking how harsh she's been with him in the past. I know they've had their history, but I can't imagine what was so terrible about it. In truth, I think it's Beatrice: she cannot love.

MARGARET

That could be true. She might not even be able to recognize love if it bit her in the ass.

HERO

Well, it might not all be her fault...she...she is quite...rough.

MARGARET

Rough indeed...and those types of attitudes should be left for the bedroom! Well, but I would assume even Beatrice could see how attractive Benedict is? She can't be that blind or dumb, can she?

HERO

That's what I have said for years but I'm not sure. How can she not see what she does to Benedict?

MARGARET

How can she not want to do something else to him? Anyway, what does Benedict intend to do about his feelings? Is he going to tell Beatrice?

HERO

Oh, no! Never! Claudio and Pedro did ask me to speak to Beatrice, but I told them that I think it would be best to tell Benedict to fight against his feelings, bury them deep and forget about them: Beatrice is too proud and too stubborn to ever come off her high horse about love.

MARGARET

That's true. You won't talk to her about it?

HERO

What? And be mocked to death? I'll talk to her about anything else but never about love, she'll make a bad joke of it and think it's the smartest thing that has ever escaped anybody's mouth!

MARGARET

She does go around thinking she's better than everyone else, doesn't she?

HERO

Yes, she does! And that is her greatest flaw. I mean, she's smart enough, and knows everything about everything but, none of that is any good if all you do is brag about it. No, I won't say anything to Beatrice and I'll speak to Benedict, make sure he doesn't get any ideas either.

MARGARET

Well, that's a shame but, if you think that's best.

Awkward silence ensues.

MARGARET (CONT)

Well...should we go and do that...thing?

HERO nods and they head upstairs. BEATRICE rounds the corner, making sure they are gone. She looks in shock and speechless and basically stumbles around the reception as she tries to make sense of what she just heard. She is a lot more reluctant to accept what she's heard at face value than BENEDICT was.

BEATRICE

Wha— What the—Do they really think I'm such an awful person? Well, I'll show them! I don't act better than everyone else! True, I did actually go to University, and it was actually in another country but...I...I never thought that was a flaw. Well, I'll show them. No more bragging, no more joking, no more pride. As for Benedict...well, once I thought he was—maybe I have been harsh on him, it's been well a decade, maybe he has changed. In any case, others seem to think he's "well off" maybe, I suppose—

BEATRICE stops dead in her tracks as BENEDICT walks into the reception. He is also caught off guard when he looks up to see BEATRICE standing in the middle of the room. Neither know what to say. They try to smile at each other but it doesn't work and the effect is more creepy than anything else. They both look down at the floor as the tension in the room keeps growing. BEATRICE finally makes a signal that she should go, BENEDICT opens his mouth, as if to say something but nothing comes out. BEATRICE begins to back away, slowly, as if escaping a dangerous animal.

Begin "Stay the Night" by Green Day. BENEDICT hardly moves as BEATRICE continues to back away. When lyrics start, BEATRICE freezes in place and BENEDICT jumps forward as all his lines are directed at her. He circles her throughout.

BENEDICT

Well I ain't got much time so I'll get to the point

Do you wanna share a ride and get the fuck out of this joint?

I've got an impulse so repulsive that it burns

I wanna break your heart until it makes your stomach turn

I got to know if you're the one that got away

Even though it was never meant to be

Say you'll stay the night

'Cause we're running out of time

So stay the night

I don't wanna say goodbye

Say you'll stay the night

'Cause we're running out of time

So stay the night

Well I don't wanna say goodbye

BENEDICT freezes in position as BEATRICE moves again. She circles BENEDICT as she directs all of her lines to him.

BEATRICE

Well you're so sick and tired of feeling so alone

Well I don't understand the point if you have to go home

So won't you stay and count the circles 'round my eyes?

And we can watch the stars until the sun begins to rise

I got to know if you're the one that got away

Even though it was never meant to be

Say you'll stay the night

'Cause we're running out of time

So stay the night

I don't wanna say goodbye

Say you'll stay the night

'Cause we're running out of time

So stay the night

I don't wanna say goodbye

BENEDICT begins to move again as they acknowledge each other's presence.

BENEDICT

I gotta know if you're the one that got away

BEATRICE

Even though it was never meant to be

BOTH

Say you'll stay the night

'Cause we're running out of time

So stay the night

I don't wanna say goodbye

Say you'll stay the night

'Cause we're running out of time

So stay the night

I don't wanna say goodbye.

As song winds down they move back to their original positions. With the last beat of the song BEATRICE has reached the lobby desk and is startled when she hits it. This prompts both BEATRICE and BENEDICT to jump up. BENEDICT nods, takes a deep breath and bolts up the stairs, presumably to his room. BEATRICE, scurries behind the desk, sits and attempts to look busy, without much luck. After a few seconds someone clears their throat. BEATRICE looks up to find a GUEST looking down on her impatiently, attempting to hand her their room key. She smiles sheepishly and takes the key. GUEST walks away, shaking their head and muttering about the terrible service.