Amy does not have to pick up her phone to know who is calling her, it is Sheldon for the hundredth time that day. Amy does not want to talk to him, not after the events of last night where he ripped out her heart and stomped on it.
Amy had been filled with so much hope, it was their five year anniversary, she had planned a magical night. Well she was hoping he had planned a magical night after what she had seen in his desk drawer a few months earlier in January.
Amy had not been meaning to snoop, he had asked her to go in his upper right desk drawer and retrieve his lucky dry erase marker for him. He was at the university working late and she had been at Penny's for girls night. She did not mind taking it too him, anything to get him unstuck off this problem that had been consuming him for those last few weeks. When she opened up the desk drawer and saw the small black box she had to tell herself to calm down it was probably just the Lord of the Rings prop he and Leonard had fought over. Then she had made the mistake of opening it and seeing the gorgeous emerald cut diamond ring inside. Amy had replaced it and tried to place it in the exact same spot where he had it before.
For months she had been on tenterhooks waiting for the proposal that was coming, if he had the ring it meant that it was soon right? Only he made no move no indication he was ready to ask her to be his wife. Amy tried to hint to him that she was ready for a bigger commitment that is what the turtle talk had been about. What had started out as her trying to tell him they were ready to move on in their relationship to something bigger. Had ended up with them decided to get a turtle together. A turtle was no ring on her finger but she had still been so happy about it. The way he had taken her hand as he made the announcement to Leonard and Penny was like a tasty treat of what was to some. Amy could imagine what it would be like to stand hand in hand with him as they told their friends they were going to be husband and wife.
Only they had not even ended up with a turtle, somehow what should have been a perfect day ended up with Sheldon wanting to blast off o Mars without her.
"What I want is for us to be planning our future together." She had told him how big of a hint did he need?
Apparently a big one because things went on again unchanged and undiscussed between them. The months marched on and Amy began to think that she had just imagined the ring, that Penny had laced her wine with something and she had been hallucinating it.
Then came the night of the blanket fort, how willing he was , how eager he was for her to stay. This is it she thinks, what more could you want out of a proposal? How sweet a story would that be to tell her friends. That hey had built a fort out of sheets like a couple of kids and under the twinkle of the christmas lights inside he had gotten down on one knee and proposed.
Only he had't, it had been a wonderful night anyways, they stayed up late talking. He had allowed her to sleep curled against his chest cradling her in his arms. They had talked about their first cuddle, Sheldon admitting how much he had secretly liked it. They had kissed, not a full one make out, but he had initiated it. Kissing her lightly on the lips when she turned around to face him and say goodnight. When he had fallen asleep Amy had wriggled out of his arms and looked back into the desk drawer. The ring still there, unmoved from where it had been last, she strokes the velvet box lightly with her forefinger and sighs. Was he ever going to ask her the four little words she so desperately wanted to hear? She snuck back inside the fort and snuggled against his chest again looking up at his beautiful face. Marveling at how it had been almost five years since she had met the man of her dreams. Then he had hit her, in May it would be five years since she walked into that coffee shop and met the man who would change her life.
"That's what he is waiting for!" Amy says out loud and then covers her mouth as Sheldon sleepily says I love you too and rolls over.
So then the fateful day came there five year anniversary Amy was on pins and needles all day. She tried to tell herself not to get her hopes up to high but it was so hard. It had been five years he had to be planning something special. She had bought a new dress for the occasion, pink his favorite color on her even though she liked blue better. Sheldon always seemed to complement her more when she wore pink.
She met him at the restaurant that he had suggested, the same one Raj had taken them too on their second anniversary. Only this time he was an attentive and wonderful boyfriend, asking about her day, laughing at her jokes. Taking her hand over the table and placing a kiss on her ring finger. This is it Amy thinks as he strokes her hand lightly he looks over at her his blue eyes soulful and glowing softly in the candlelight. Amy has to stop herself from yelping yes before the words have left his mouth.
"You changed your hand lotion, I like this scent much better." He tells her smiling and then dropping her hand.
"Yes, it was sweet pea and now it is ocean breeze." Amy says lamely the disappointment ripping through her stomach.
There meal continues pleasantly and when the check comes he swoops it up and pays without hesitation. Maybe she has taught him a few things over the over Amy thinks smiling at him as he tucks his wallet back into his pants.
"Shall we go back to my place for a night cap?" he says winking causing her heart to flutter there was something about a boyish flirtatious Sheldon that got her motor running .
"But Dr. Cooper you don't drink? Do you have yoo-hoo?" Amy says winking back.
"Hmmm, I was thinking of something sweeter than any chocolate beverage," Sheldon says smiling at her and rising from his chair.
"Sweeter than yoo-hoo? It is not possible!" Amy giggles as he pulls her chair out for her and she gets up. Then he leans in close as the walk out the door whispering in her ear.
"Oh, and Amy? Dessert is served."
When they get back to the apartment her stomach is full of butterflies the possibilities for what he has planned are endless. Will tonight be the night that she loses her virginity to the man that she loves? Will tonight be the night she finally gets that little ring on her finger, maybe tonight will be the night for both. Amy sits on the couch as he busies himself with the dimmer switch on the lights turning it down to a romantic setting. Then he sits down beside her not quite in his spot and it is jarring to her to see him sitting almost in the middle of the couch.
"Amy, as you know we have been dating for quite some time." He begins and her heart pounds against her chest this is it she thinks.. "Durning those five years our relationship has evolved from one of the mind to a more physical one than either of us was ever anticipating." Amy tries to mask her surprise it is going in a slightly different direction than she thought but she is still excited. "So I am proposing that, just for tonight we try something we have never done before."
Yes." Amy says breathlessly
"I propose that we kiss, for longer than the relationship agreement approved 13 seconds and that mouths are allowed to be open." He stumbles out looking at her hopefully.
"You mean you want to make out with me?" Amy says a bit shocked, not what she was expecting but still very good.
"Yes, I suppose that is the popular vernacular." He says shaking his head.
"I would love nothing more than to make out with you Sheldon." Amy says wrapping her arms around his neck and tugging him closer. He places his hand on her thigh and leans in wrapping his other arm around her back. Then tentatively he places his mouth on hers, causing her body to erupt in its usual shivers. Then he begins to move his mouth opening his mouth slightly and Amy mirrors him. Then his soft tongue darts in her mouth and massages her own, the sensation his foreign but wonderful. Amy moans agains his mouth and she feels him grip her leg tighter as he explores her mouth further with his own. A moan of pleasure emitting from him as she nips his bottom lip lightly before breaking away. It is all to amazing , even if it is the first in five years the kiss is so wonderful that Amy has to tell him how she feels.
"Can you believe it has been five years since our first date?" she asks him wanting him to say something profound like a'and I have loved you more and more everyday since' or 'I will never be able to repay Raj and Howard enough for bringing you to me.' Instead she gets:
"I know, Do you think I should start watching the Flash?"it feels like old water has been splashed all over her head. How he could be thinking about some super hero TV show with the love of his life's tongue down his throat. Then with sickening realization she thinks this is how it will always be. No matter how fat they come he will never feel about her the way that she feels about him. While her body is burning with desire at his mere touch, he is flippant more worried about men in colorful tights.
The kiss was not what he wanted, it was just to placate her, he had probably discussed it with his friends. How do I keep Amy happy on our anniversary without actually having to do much. Maybe he was thinking about how unsanitary and gross it had been and the Flash was his whole years of her life she had spent patiently waiting for him to be ready for her. It was just now dawning on her that he would never been ready. Even as he moves back in to kiss her again her mind is made up she is done forcing him to love her on her terms. Amy storms out of the apartment after he accuses her of ruining the mood of dare he.
"Don"t you see I am wrestling with a big commitment issue here?" he had the audacity to ask her. The commitment issue being the TV show, not the ring that has been tucked away in his desk for god knows how long. God knows how long it would stay there before he decided he was ready, maybe it was not even meant for her. Maybe it was just another silly movie prop he had tucked away for some asinine reason, even if it sure did look real.
Amy goes home soaks in her tub drinks a glass of wine and cries her eyes out. When she gets into to bed she stares at the photo of Sheldon sitting on Santa's lap and flips it down. Even that can't cheer her up right now.
In the morning she wakes up and does not even bother getting dressed she sits on her couch and watches every single romantic movie she owns until she has gone through two bowes of Kleenex crying her eyes out. Her phone beeps with messages all day long, Sheldon desperately trying to get a hold of her, it is not like h er to keep him waiting this long. Usually she sends him a morning' I love you' text and an afternoon 'Hope your day is going well' text. The radio silence must be killing him she things smugly, good let him sweat it out.
Finally after a whole day of listening to her phone and computer beep she decided to give in. His face pops up on her screen and she is still to upset to enjoy it.
"Amy, I have been thinking a lot about relationships and how difficult they can be." No, he is not doing this Amy thinks desperately. He is either going to break up with her or propose to her during a Skype call and neither one are acceptable to her. That is it she thinks she needs sometime to think some time longer than a day to gather her thoughts and really evaluate what this relationship means to her. She she loves him more than anything in the world but is love alone enough to sustain her. Could she spend her while life with a man who may never reciprocate her feelings for him with the same ferocity?.
"Sheldon I have been thinking too, and this is hard to say because I love you…" she begins and after she hangs up with him she collapses in a heap on her couch. Sobs wracking her entire body, god but she loved him. Loved him more than she ever thought possible. Amy thinks of the ring in his drawer and hopes that maybe one day he will love her the same way she loves him and they can be together again.
