Hello everyone! I'm very sorry for making you wait this long! I answered to a review this week, from Arathelia. I promised her I'd update this week. I work much better with a deadline.. otherwise I could take forever!

I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing, favoring and/or following! In this chapter there will be a lot of progress. (Because I decided to not make this story very long. ) but you can probably guess that from the title :P I hope you will all like this chapter, and that I won't disappoint you.

Discaimer: I do not own -man!


Chapter 7 – Confessions

"Kanda, wake up" Allen said as he tried to stir the samurai awake. "The train leaves in half an hour, we should hurry" He tried once more.

Kanda slowly started to open his eyes, and awareness came to him. Allen noticed he had awakened and went to the bathroom to freshen up. It was quite unusual for Kanda to oversleep. The samurai was usually up before the sun was. He hadn't slept much this night. He kept going over to Allen to check his temperature and re-wet the towel al through the night. Then Kanda remembered. He had kissed Allen. Kanda's fingers ghosted over his lips. The memory still sweet, yet painfull. He had stolen a kiss from the boy. Without him being aware of it. That was cruel Kanda thought.

His thoughts were interrupted by the boy re-entering the room. The boy went about his business. Packing his suitcase and putting on his jacket. When he suddenly stopped and turned to Kanda. "ehm Kanda, I'm not really sure what happened last night, when we got up the stairway It suddenly went dark, but uhm.. I guess you helped me. So thank you" He said before he turned around again, embarrassed. The boy didn't seem to remember he had already thanked Kanda last night in quite the cute manner.

"You mean you don't remember what you did last night?" Kanda said as Allen continued rummaging through the room. He looked up at that "What do you mean?" He asked back. Should Kanda say it? He didn't know.. "You already thanked me last night. You don't remember?" Allen blushed at that. Did he remember what he had done? "I'm sorry" the boy said, "I don't remember" It seems the boy blushed not because of what he had forgotten, but because of the fact that he had forgotten at all. "So he doesn't remember.." Kanda stood up and went to the bathroom.

"Kanda-dono, Walker-dono, We have to go." Sai said as he entered the room.

"ah Sai-san, good morning. I'm ready, Kanda's just freshening up. He should be ready in a few." As if on cue, Kanda emerged from the bathroom and strode to the bed to put on his coat. He put everything in his suitcase, closed it and walked towards the door. "let's go" He said before leaving the room.

As they left the inn, Allen put on his hood again. Kanda noticed this but didn't say anything of it.


A few days later, after an annoyed samurai left a "very annoying scientist's" office Kanda found himself in the lounge. Together with a nice cup of green tea and a book. He had placed himself near the fire place on a nice couch. What the book was about, Kanda didn't really know. Because as soon as he had opened it, his mind drifted off. He remembered his last mission. The one he shared with his secret crush. He really couldn't make out what happened that night. Why had the boy kissed him? Was it because of the fever? Or did the boy secretly have feelings for him too? "no, that's just wishful thinking" The fever was really high. Allen's whole face was covered in beads of sweat, making his bangs stick together. And there was this nice pink shine covering the boys cheeks. "He really did look adorable that night.."

"Well that's the face of a man in love." Came a voice suddenly. Kanda suddenly came back to earth. A bit disorientated at first. He'd been so deep in thought, he hadn't noticed that person entering the lounge. Then something else dawned on him. Had that person just said he looked like he was in love?

"che, your imagining things." He tried to say normally, while pretending to continue reading his book. However the female general did not buy it. "you can say what you want hun', but your eyes betray you. So who is the lucky girl? It's not Lenalee is it? you know how Komui will react! Hahahah"

"Off course it's not her!" "shit!" "Che damnnit.."

"I knew it. So then who is it? I hope it's not some girl you met on a mission?" Klaud asked

"It's.. not.." Kanda blushed "..it's a-an Exorcist.."

"An exorcist hm.. That means me or that young lady, Miranda was it? hn.. didn't think she was your type. Or that you're a masochist.. " referring to liking someone like herself.

"I'm not a masochist! And I can't stand that woman. God If she apologizes on more time..!"

"But there aren't any other female exorcist.. What ..you don't mean?"

"oh god here it comes.." Kanda blushed

"She died?!"

"Ye- wait. What? No. no he's still alive!" And then there was a very, VERY awkward silence. Kanda blushed and covered his head in his book.

"And suddenly it all clicks" Klaud said manner-of-factly. You are in love with that cursed boy, Allen Walker, aren't you. He's the person that always makes you lose your cool. That I didn't notice before.." She awaited a response from Kanda, but he was too embarrassed to answer. "So.. is it mutual?"

Kanda looking in the opposite direction was a good enough answer for her. "does he even know?"

"off course not! What should I say; 'Hey moyashi sorry for always being such a jerk, now will you condemn yourself to hell by becoming my lover?!' Kanda yelled. Then he noticed he was yelling and looked down again, ashamed. "fuck!"

"Well maybe not like that but yes, you should." she sighed "Listen. We are exorcists. Our lives are short and devoted to god, well.. most of the time. The only thing we have is our family, the order. We have to live and strengthen the bond with our family. We have to protect them, love them. Because our family is all we have. And even more than that, I think that after all we've done for this world, we deserve to have one person to love above all else. To cherish, to hold, to make love to.." Her eyes trailed to Kanda. "Yuu," She placed her hand on his cheek "our lives are too short to have regrets. If you love this boy, let him know. Make him feel cherished, protected, loved. Even if you are also male, he will accept it. for he too, yearns for love. No, he especially yearns for it. That boy, abandoned, orphaned twice, cursed and now forsaken by god. He needs to feel. He needs the strength to fight. To fight the evil within him, and you can give him that, Yuu. It's a beautiful gift. It gives both of you a reason to live. Take this chance, Yuu." She said looking deep in his eyes.

Kanda didn't know how to answer. Klaud Nine had hit him deep. She was right. Who cared what would happen afterward. He should just let the boy know, he deserved to know.

"well. That got me thinking. I should follow my own advice and make that man clear of my feelings!" She saw the confused look on Kanda's face and told him with her index finger in front of her lips "Alistair is quite the gentleman is he not? I think I'm going to pay him a little visit~" she rose up from her seat and headed to the door. She gave one final "Good luck, Yuu. You, too, deserve a happy ending"

Klaud's words lingered in his mind. She was absolutely right. What could happen. The moyashi would hate him even more? That didn't matter. As long as he protected him. He did not need anything else in return. He stood up and headed to the cafeteria.


'KNOCK KNOCK'

"just a minute!" came a muffled voice. A few seconds later the door opened and a shock of white came through. The boy stared at him not sure what to say.

"well will you let me in moyashi?"

"It's Allen, BaKanda! ..but ehm I guess?" He said as he stepped aside to let the samurai in. Kanda walked in and went for the bed. He put down the tray he had with him. On it were two cups of tea and plate full of what looked like Mitarashii Dango. Allen stood by the door still, as he looked how Kanda made himself comfortable.

"Ehm Kanda? Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here?" He asked

"Come sit down moyashi, I have to talk to you. " Allen stared at him for a few seconds. But then figured he might as well sit down and listen to what Kanda had to say. So that's what he did. Kanda shoved a cup of tea over the tray towards the boy. And motioned for him to take a dango. Allen couldn't say no to that! He happily took a dango and ate it up. When he wanted to take the last bite of his Dango he caught Kanda staring at him. He had a strange look in his eyes.

"ehm.. Kanda? What did you want to talk about?" he asked.

Kanda looked at him a bit more before he answered. "There is something I have to tell you. And I want you to listen. You don't have to answer, not until the end." He got a nod from Allen and continued.

"I never intended to let you know. I even denied it myself at first. But I have to tell you. I had a talk today, with general Klaud Nine. She told me that the life of an exorcist is too short. That we should treasure and enjoy what little time we have to ourselves. And that most of all we should treasure our family. That all of us exorcists want to care for and protect our family here in the order." Kanda stopped. "damn I'm not sure how to say this!.. Look ..I just want to tell you that I do, you know. I do care for you. In fact I care to much for you. That night when you had been taken by that fever. I did something. Something that I am ashamed of. I took your lips that night. I robbed you of your free will. And I am sorry for that. I know that this may all sound really weird and probably disgusting. But you need to know. I love you. And I'll keep loving you until the day I die, and maybe even beyond that. I will never touch you again, unless it is to protect you from harm. Your safety is all that matters to me now. I will stand alongside you in this war. And I will help with the war with your other self. So please.. let me stay by your side." Kanda said, looking straight into Allen's eyes.

Allen was speechless, the dango fell on the bed. He had found it weird that Kanda had come to his room, with snacks, and that he wanted to talk with him. He thought Kanda probably wanted to discuss the mission report or complain about Allen's fighting skills. But never in his life did he imagine Kanda saying ..well that. There must be something wrong with the man. Is he sick? Or.. no wait he's probably just joking. Maybe he lost a bet to Lavi or something?

Allen had been staring at Kanda for a long time now, with an unreadable expression on his face. Kanda started to realize what he had said and a small blush formed on his cheeks, barely noticeable.

"ehm.. Kanda are you sick?" Allen went to place his hand on Kanda's forehead. That made the samurai snap. "What do you mean am I sick?! I'm talking to you seriously here!" On which Allen answered with a slightly lifted voice "Well what do you expect?! That I believe you? Kanda you hate my guts! Just tell me the truth, did Lavi put you up to this?! Because it's not nice Kanda!" Allen said with a bit of a frown on his face.

Kanda wanted to yell back. But he saw the hurt in the boys eyes and forced himself to calm down. "Look moyashi, I swear to you that no one put me up to this. Do you think I'd embarrass myself like this for the sake of Lavi's "humor"? Listen I don't expect you to believe me, or answer my feelings for that matter. I just wanted to tell you. Because you deserve to know it. You deserve to be loved."

With that Kanda stood up and left the room.

Allen still sat there. Looking in the same direction Kanda just sat. His face as red as a tomato, he couldn't for the life of him comprehend what just happened. Kanda loved him? His mind trailed off to what Kanda said, "I did something. Something that I am ashamed of. I took your lips that night. I robbed you of your free will. And I am sorry for that." Allen's fingers ghosted over his lips. Kanda had kissed him? His mind couldn't help but wonder what it would have felt like. That made Allen's blush increase even more. He decided he'd take a shower to cool off and then head for bed. Tomorrow when he wakes up, he'll discover it had all been a dream. A very nice dream..


Well that's it! I hope you all enjoyed! That part with Klaud was unexpected wasn't it? ahahaha that idea had been in my mind for a while now, I had to put it in.

Uhmm.. o yeah, I promise the next update won't take so long!

Please review! I love to hear your criticism, good or bad! I also want to know if I took things to fast..

Well byebye! See you next time!