So the first chapter was just an errant "what if... "Thought I had that kept me up until two in the morning writing. then I got another one about Sheldon and his place in it. Hope you enjoy! I just have so many feelings I have to get them out.

As Sheldon closes the laptop he feels like he has been punched in the gut. Hurt and fear raced through his brain, of all the things he had been expecting from that call this was the last thing he expected. He had been so relived to see her face after the radio silence he had been put through all day. Shocked by how sad and strained she looked, it had not been that big of a fight, it had barely been a disagreement.

He had been getting ready to tell her that relationships were difficult. That he had seen his parents struggle through one and fail. That he had to watch Leonard and Penny muddle through their ill conceived romance and still try. How he thought they were stronger than either of those two pairs. That even though at times he found being pair bonded with her difficult and tedious he was glad he had her. That he loved her very much, and was happy they had the strength to overcome their difficulties. Apparently he was wrong, Amy was done trying too overcome how difficult being in a relationship with him could be.

They were still a couple weren't they? Amy knew that to officially break up she would have o terminate the relationship agreement. Amy had no mention of the relationship agreement only that she needed space to reevaluate their situation. What did that mean though? How long away did she need, what if she decided that it was best to terminate their relationship.

"So Gollum, you are the master of the rings what should I do with this one." He asks his statue as he takes the small velvet box out of his desk drawer.

Sheldon strokes the soft velvet of the box with his thumb and finds the action soothing. The box has been in his desk for months, almost a year. This is the first time he had picked it up since the day he placed it there. The drawer it was in used to contain paychecks saved for when they invented something he desperately wanted. Every single one had been cashed in and used to purchase this ring. When he had finally figured out that the only thing he desperately wanted he already had.

Now he did not have her anymore, he should have given her this ring sooner. It just never seemed like the right time. There were mile markers he had wanted crossed off before he asked her. In his head he pictured Leonard and Penny already married before he asked her. When he had purchased the ring he thought that that date was in the not so distant future. However Leonard and Penny were dragging their feet and had been no closer to setting a date then they had been a year ago when they got engaged. It had started to make him antsy, which is why he had pushed so hard for them to set a date tonight. So he could finally ask Amy when the time was right, but now it seems he had waited too long.

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Sheldon thinks about the day he bought the ring, how he gone to the bank and they had looked at him oddly as he placed the stack of paychecks on the counter and asked them to be cashed.

"Are large bills acceptable sir?" the teller had asked.

"They are all going to be spent in the same place so the denominations in which they are presented hardly matter." Sheldon told the woman.

"Making a big purchase?" The teller asked her round face smiling at him as she counted out the money. Normally he did not care for chit chat but he was nervous and the nerves were loosing his lips.

"Oh yes, I am buying a ring, and I read that an appropriate amount to spend on a ring is eight thousand dollars."

"An engagement ring?" The woman asks and he fought the urge to roll his eyes the statement of the obvious.

"Yes."

"My, what a lucky girl, so when are you going propose?" She asked him handing him an envelope with the money.

"Oh, I have no idea." He told her and took the envelope and walked away heading out the door and down the street to the jewelry store. He walked in and was greeted by a salesperson eager to make a commission.

"Hello, may I help you find something." Hopefully.

"Yes, I am looking for an engagement ring." Sheldon told the man walking towards a display of rings.

"We have a wonderful selection here, What are you looking for exactly? " The man asks stepping behind the counter and pulling out a display of rings.

"A gold ring with a diamond in which to place on my girlfriends finger." Confused by what he meant, he had already told him what he was looking for.

"Well of course what I meant traditional, princess cut, emerald cut, silver, gold, platinum?" The man asked pointing out examples of each.

"I guess, I had't given it that much thought can you show me a few." Sheldon had the salesmen tied up for hours as he looked at the various rings. Nothing to big Amy had small hands he did not want a diamond to overwhelm them. Nothing to small, as he did not want to appear cheap, so he finally settled on a five carat princess cut with a row of six diamonds. The salesmen was relieved when he finally made his selection.

"Would you like to apply for a line of credit?" He asks as he rang up the sale

"Not necessary, I will be paying cash." He said pulling out the envelope from his satchel and counting out the bills.

"Looks like you have been planning this for quite sometime. Saving for years for this day am I right?"

"Not really, I only really decided on it about a month ago. Although I have been saving this money for years, although I must admit it was originally earmarked for robot eyes"

"So you are going to be popping the question soon?" Changing the subject quickly.

"I have no idea when I will, but I want to be prepared for when I do. " Sheldon told the man as he handed him the small paper bag containing the ring. Which he placed in his satchel along with the few remaining bills from the envelope.

When was he going to ask her? He knew when he had decided to ask her. It was on his train trip that he had decided to ask her to marry him. It was not a decision he had come to lightly. He had been thinking about her constant queries as to when they would live together. Her gentle nagging that their relationship move forward somehow.

At first he was furious with her, she knew how hard all this was one him yet she still chose to push him. Why did she insist on these relationship mile markers, wasn't what they had enough? Why did they have to complicate a perfect arrangement with the messiness of a normal relationship. Couldn't they just continue on like they always had, enjoying each other for each others minds,sharing a mutual admiration of their work. Then he thought about something Penny had said to him awhile ago.

"What exactly are you doing?" In regards to his relationship with Amy. Like their relationship was not worth having if he did not move it forward physically. Couldn't they just retain their relationship with out the physical stuff?

No they could't he could see that, they had shared too much he had allowed himself to get too close to her. The chance to go back to the way they had been had been destroyed by him on the train. He would curse himself for altering the paradigm so direly if he had not enjoyed it so greatly. Still enjoyed the way her lips felt against his, the way it made him feel like he was teetering on a ledge. That if he let himself fall he would enjoy it the whole way down.

No there was no turning back the page now. If he was going with book metaphors then there were three logical solutions to his Amy debacle. They could stay on the same page and stare at the same print forever. That was is favorite choice but Amy had made it clear she was not content with that option. He could move forward a page and finish out the story, see what happened next. Or he could close the book, put on the shelf and choose a new story one without Amy in it.

A chapter without Amy in it, he allowed himself to think about it and found the mere thought of it was horrible. Amy was the only person who had ever loved him beside his mother and Memaw. Amy was is anchor in a world of craziness she was his saving grace. Amy was kind, patient, brilliant, funny, and beautiful she was everything that he never knew he wanted. He tried to picture a universe without her in it, where he was back to eating dinners with just Leonard and Penny, without Amy to offset their tediousness.

Where Thursday nights no longer included Amy forcing him on some romantic date. Who was he kidding she was not forcing him to do anything, he loved date nights now. He looked forward to them all week, loved when she cooked for him, loved when they sat together on the couch and she would hold out her hand and he would roll his eyes and grab it. He loved her, it was the first time he allowed himself to admit it. Amy was his everything, the bright spot in his life and imagining his life without her was inconceivable.

So if he you could not turn back the pages, and you did not want to close the book, then the only thing to do was to see how the story ends. He thought about what he said to her in anger about getting married and living out their sunset years together. After picturing his life without her that description did not seem half bad. In fact it seemed like the only conclusion , he loved Amy, and Amy loved him back. When you loved someone and never wanted them out of your life you asked them to marry you.

So after he returned home from his trip and patched things up with Amy about his sudden departure. He made the final decision and went out and bought the ring, not sure about when he would give it to her only knowing that it was the only logical conclusion.

Only now it looked like he would not get to see how the story ended after all. The roles had reversed from a year ago and she has closed the book on him. He had taken too long to make his move and now she was lost to him forever. After all they had been through together their story concluded with him blurting out something stupid to keep himself from falling of the ledge. Then her finally having enough of him holding himself back.

"I reject that conclusion." He says out loud placing the ring box in his pocket and heading out the door.

Thank you for the reviews and follows on this story!