Daryl woke up to the feeling of sunshine on his face and an ache in his body. It took a minute or two before the previous night returned to him. He'd passed out like a little bitch. Then whined at Rick to stay in the room with him.
"Pathetic." Daryl spat out hatefully. Merle would have beaten him black and blue if he saw how soft he had been acting.
"What is?" Carol asked glimpsing her head into the room.
"Nothin'." Daryl mumbled. Carol smiled gently and pushed the door open fully.
"I brought you some food. Thought you might be hungry." Daryl shrugged.
"Did ever'one eat already?" He deflected.
"Yes. You slept in so you missed breakfast and lunch."
"Hm."
"Must have been tired huh?" Daryl grunted. "You know it's okay to take a break every now and then right?"
"Ain' got time for that." Daryl grumbled.
"Yeah tireless warrior Daryl."
"Hunter." He corrected.
"That's right." Carol smiled and put the food on the side table before pulling a chair up to the bed.
"Gonna watch me eat?" He quirked an eyebrow.
"More like make sure you actually eat and don't try to break out of here."
"What am I under house arrest?"
"No. But Hershel arrest yes. He reminded Rick and I what you were like back on the farm."
"Don' know what yer talkin' 'bout."
"You tried to escape that night. You refused to sit still for longer than an hour. Eventually Hershel had to agree to let you rest in your tent otherwise I think you would have driven him crazy. Do you remember any of that?"
"It was borin'." Daryl shrugged.
"Exactly. So instead of risking you jumping out the window I thought I'd watch over you for a while." Carol smiled gently at him.
"Ain' a kid."
"Never said you were."
"Yer just tryin' to get out of work or somethin'." Daryl glared at her.
"No, we've already done everything that needs to be done today." Carol sighed. "Rick and Lori are arguing."
"Again?" Daryl asked taking a bite of the canned corn in his bowl. It had been mixed with some of the deer meat then boiled to make a pretty good stew.
"Yeah she was really upset last night."
"'Bout what?" He mumbled around a mouthful of food.
"You actually." Daryl raised an eyebrow. "Fainting to be specific. She went off. She was convinced you were bit. Really stirred people up. Rick got angry that she would even suggest that. Basically told her he didn't want anything to do with her for the rest of the night. But now they're busy arguing again."
"Sound like paranoia is settin' in. That happen often with pregnancy?" Carol shrugged.
"Each woman is different but things aren't ideal for having a baby as it is. A little paranoia is probably natural for her." Daryl nodded. "I'm worried…" Carol whispered looking right at him. "Can we really raise a baby in this world with the way that it is now? I mean it was hard enough before all this…but now?"
"Hm. Not like we can do anythin' 'bout it now."
"I know. I just…" Carol blew out a breath.
"Just think it would be easier to not have to worry 'bout it?" Carol nodded.
"It sounds so horrible. I feel horrible for thinking it."
"Ya shouldn'. I'm sure we've all thought the same thing, even Lori. But we can' give up cause it's difficult ya know? The kid is going to have a hard enough time in this world. So we'll have to help anyway we can yah?" Carol nodded.
"Yeah I know. I do really. I just… get so worried and scared sometimes."
"S'ok ever'one does. Just have to conquer that fear. Don' let it control you." Daryl watched Carol closely. She nodded at his words but she still seemed upset.
"Lori told Hershel she had Carl by C-section. I'm worried she'll need to do the same with this baby."
"My ma had Merle through C-sec. But she didn' have me that way."
"How come?"
"Born small." Daryl shrugged. "Merle said the doc didn' think I'd make it."
"But you did." Daryl shrugged again.
"Dixon blood. Hard to kill."
"It must be." Carol smiled. "You know how Hershel's been teaching me some medical techniques and stuff?" Daryl nodded. Hershel had been showing Carol and Maggie some basic medical first aid for the last few weeks. Half of the group at one point or another sat in on the lessons. Daryl often found himself working on making new bolts while Hershel held his lessons. Couldn't hurt to know some things he figured. The group seemed to share his sentiment for the originally small classes usually ended up pretty large by the time they finished. "I've been thinking of having him teach me how to perform a C-section as well." Carol shifted nervously. "Right now Hershel's the only one who knows how and…" She trailed off.
"Be dumb to not know." Daryl said helping her along. He didn't want anyone else to die but the reality of it was there was no guarantee that any of them would be around tomorrow. "I mean that way Hershel will have help if he needs it right?" Daryl said taking pity on Carol. The idea of Hershel dying clearly bothered her. The idea of delivering the baby alone troubled her even more.
"Yeah." She agreed nodding vigorously. "You're right. It would be better with two people to help Lori through the pregnancy."
"The whole more the marrier thing?"
"Something like that." Carol said standing up. She looked determined now that she had a game plan in her head, Daryl noticed.
"Just so ya know I ain' deliverin' no baby." Daryl called to Carol as she reached the door.
"Aw really? I was hoping you'd be my nurse." Daryl snorted.
"Only if I get to wear the little hat."
"Well if I find one I'll make sure you're made my one and only nurse." Carol joked back. "Get some rest Daryl. But finish your food too!"
"Yah yah." He waved her off, the door closed quietly behind her. There was still half a bowl of stew left. Instead, Daryl went straight for the glass of water and chugged it down. The burning in his throat lessened considerably. Too much talking, he thought. He just wasn't used to it.
Daryl closed his eyes and drifted in between the sleeping state and the waking state for a while. Things were quiet in the house meaning Glenn and Maggie had probably left on a run or they sneaked out to the shed for some alone time. The two of them were attached to each other at the hips. Always making doe eyes at each other. If Daryl had a deer for every time he'd either heard them getting it on or interrupted them (not his choice mind you) he'd have enough deer to feed the group for five years (at the very least.)
He didn't hear Lori's high pitched voice that she used when she was angry. Daryl also didn't hear Rick's emotionally locked down voice either. Whenever the two of them fought, Lori got louder but Rick seemed to become detached. He got quieter and calmer. The man had a far better control on his tempter than Daryl himself did. But for some reason it always seemed to make Lori angrier. Almost like she wanted Rick to blow up at her.
The house wasn't completely quiet. It sounded like Carl and Beth were talking softly to each other downstairs. While Carol was reporting to Hershel on his health and talking to him about her, plan to learn how to perform a C-section herself. Meaning T-Dog was probably on watch. With most, everyone accounted for Daryl strained his ears for Rick. He couldn't hear the man's distinctive footsteps around the house. Nor could he hear his soft-spoken voice. Was he outside then? Or did he go on a supply run with Glenn and Maggie? Daryl was about to get up to investigate himself when another knock on his door interrupted him.
"Yah?" He called. The door opened and Lori glanced in. She looked all around the room before settling on Daryl still in the bed. She was not the person he expected to see that was for sure. Daryl sat up fully leaning against the headboard. With Carol he had felt comfortable enough to slouch and lean back into a comfortable position that didn't strain the worn out muscles in his back. But with Lori he was never certain how she really felt about him. At times, she seemed to share Shane's sentiment that he was only good for doing the dirty work. Other times she seemed to be okay with his presence but to changed from moment to moment. Daryl didn't honestly care one way or another. But he did prefer to be around people that let him know where he stood in comparison to them. It was a way to keep himself safe, Merle had taught him that when they were still young.
"Don' let yerself be backed into a corner." Merle's voice whispered.
"May I?" Lori asked motioning to the chair that Carol had been in minutes before. Daryl nodded. She glanced around the room nervously before settling her eyes on Daryl. "I thought Rick might be here…" She started.
"Ain' seen him since last night." Daryl replied. Lori looked tired, he noticed. There were bags under her eyes and she seemed smaller than usual. "Ya okay?" Daryl asked watching her closely.
"Yeah. Well no…" Lori bit her lip. "I wanted to thank you again for getting the food. I know it must have been hard." Daryl shrugged. "And I wanted to apologize. When you fainted, I assumed the worse. I thought… feared that well…" Lori trailed off again.
"If I'd been bit I wouldn' come back here ya know." Daryl couldn't believe he had to explain this yet again. It just seemed so obvious to him but apparently everyone else assumed he'd rush back to put them all in danger.
"I'm sorry… I freaked out. I mean… we've been through so much."
"I don' blame ya. It's only natural to be worried." Daryl told her. Lori half smiled but she still seemed troubled.
"Rick was furious. He didn't even want to hear me explain how I felt."
"I was mostly blacked out in the hall so I didn' hear." Daryl mumbled. It felt weird to remind someone that he wasn't all there last night thus wasn't aware of what happened during the night.
"No this was after. He put you in here then he wouldn't even talk to me. I tried to explain my fears this morning and he got even angrier." Daryl glanced at the window behind Lori. Would it be rude to jump out he wondered. He just wasn't any good at this kind of stuff. The problems and drama that the group seemed to feed off of were of little concern to him. He preferred to focus on the bigger picture such as safety and the need for food. Why Lori felt he was the best person to talk to was beyond him. Or maybe he was just a convenient audience for her. Lori sighed and looked Daryl hard in the eyes. "It was nothing personal you know? I was just scared." Daryl nodded.
"Sure. I got ya. Don' need to be apologizin' to me." Lori shook her head.
"No I needed to tell you and apologize to you. Because you do so much for us. I didn't want you to feel like I was ungrateful." Daryl nodded again.
"Sure we're good, no worries." He said. Lori smiled gently.
"I'm glad you're feeling better. Really I am. Call if you need something okay?" She said taking the tray from his side table. Daryl watched as Lori deftly opened the door without letting the tray shift in the slightest. Even pregnancy hadn't dulled the woman's nimble movements he realized.
After the door shut Daryl slide back down to rest completely on the bed. His body ached more after forcing it to sit up like he had. He let his eyes slide close. Just for a moment he told himself.
When Daryl opened his eyes again it was morning, he could hear the Brown Thrasher outside his window singing. He'd slept through the night without realizing it.
"Damn." He muttered. There was some energy bars and another glass of water by his bed. He ate them quickly before sitting up on the bed. He took one step and his legs wobbled. Daryl ignored it. His body might still be tired but he could feel his mind itching to do something. He was restless. It was spreading throughout his body like a fire. The idea of spending another day sleeping and resting sounded awful to him. He wanted to be doing something productive. Being idle didn't suit Daryl at all.
He opened the door and nearly ran into Beth. She smiled pleasantly up at him.
"You look like you're feeling better."
"Yeah." He mumbled.
"Do you need something?"
"Nah just thought I'd get back to work."
"My dad said to get him once you were back on your feet. I'll go find him. Could you wait in your room for him?" Beth smiled cheerfully and went on her way. Daryl had half the urge to sneak out through the back of the house but he'd seen Hershel's anger when he'd tried to escape back at the farm. The man didn't like his 'patients' to have the freedom to decide when they were fit to get back to work. Apparently Daryl overestimated himself according to Hershel. Glumly Daryl sat down on the bed. A moment later Hershel opened the door.
"I'm a little surprised. I was convinced that I would have to hunt you down like last time."
"Learned my lesson last time." Daryl grumbled.
"Good." Hershel said reaching forward to check Daryl's pulse. He flinched slightly at the contact. "Pulse is a little high. You still have dark shadows under the eyes. Speaking of they're really red. How much sleep would you say you've gotten?"
"Enough." Daryl grumbled annoyed at Hershel's prodding.
"You passed out and slept part of yesterday too."
"Yeah so I can get out of here right?"
"No I'd actually like you to rest today too. By dinner tonight you can get out of here. Though it would probably be better for you to rest until tomorrow."
"Are ya serious?! That's borin'. Come on I'm better! Let me out of here!" Hershel stared hard at Daryl.
"You need rest. You won't help anyone if you pass out again."
"We don' have the time or luxury for me to take it easy."
"Daryl things are going okay, you can take some time to rest. We all want you to get the rest you need. We're all worried about you."
"If ya'll were ya'd let me out of here." He grumbled.
"So you can run off hunting and run yourself ragged? I think I'll wait and make sure you're feeling better. We're not being mean." Hershel said when Daryl glared at him. "I'm making sure you won't faint again. It really is for your benefit. What if you fainted while hunting? Or while there were walkers around? That would be bad for all of us."
"This sucks." Daryl grumbled.
"Well maybe you'll remember to take a break next time?" Daryl rolled his eyes at Hershel's words. "Some lessons have to be taught the hard way I guess." Daryl groaned.
"Fine I'll rest if ya stop lecturin' me. Ain' yer kid."
"No but you are my patient." Hershel patted Daryl's shoulder. "Rest up. Then tomorrow you can do whatever you want." Daryl glared at Hershel's retreating form as he left the room. The hunter ran his fingers down the sheets on the bed. They were too light to support his weight so he couldn't make a rope out of them and go through the window. Daryl rose to his feet and hobbled over to the window. The nearest tree was too far for him to jump to and the roof too high to climb. He could try jumping down but the chance of spraining his ankle or worse breaking a leg was a risk he didn't want to run. Mostly because that would mean being Hershel's 'patient' for an even longer time and that meant being locked up in this awful room and going even more stir crazy (if that was possible.) But he especially didn't want to put the group in danger by taking a stupid chance by jumping because he was bored and tired of being locked up in the house. Daryl's eyes slid to the door, the door there wasn't a lock on it from the outside so he could just walk out. Go hunting and be back before anyone even realized he was missing.
Daryl was about to sneak out when the door opened. Beth smiled at him.
"My dad told me to give you this. He said if you can't sleep anymore maybe you should try reading something. Carl said he'd bring some wood so you can make some more arrows. Hopefully that will keep you busy for a while?" Beth handed him a book and continued to smile her sweet and cheerful smile. Daryl couldn't help but feel like Hershel sent her in on purpose knowing he'd unable to get mad at her. Never mind pushing her aside so he could escape. Daryl felt like a trapped animal.
"Um… Thanks." Daryl murmured.
"Do you need anything else? Food? Water?"
"Nah... just the wood."
"I'll go help Carl bring it upstairs then." Beth excused herself and smiled again before she shut the door. Daryl turned the book over. It was a medical textbook, first aid and different medical treatments.
"Great." Daryl sighed under his breath. He tossed the book onto the bed without a second thought. Beth and Carl opened the door later with sturdy branches in their arms.
"Hopefully these will work." Carl said setting them down.
"Yah that'll work fine." Carl looked like he wanted to stay and talk but Beth tugged on his arm.
"Come on. Let him rest." She whispered. The pair waved and told him to call them if he needed anything.
"Bunch of busybodies." Daryl blew out a deep breath and started working on the branches. He had a good two dozen done by the time his mind started to wander. Daryl then turned his attention to the book Hershel had given him. There was a book mark in the book on the chapter about exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and sun stroke. Daryl rolled his eyes and purposely picked a chapter that had nothing to do with those subjects. He picked burns and obsessed over the awful pictures and vicious boils. The images helped keep Daryl occupied and engaged enough that by the time there was another knock at his door, he was on the last chapter of the fourth medical textbook.
Daryl had forced Hershel to give him more of the textbooks agreeing he'd stay put if he could read more. The pictures entertained him and the text wasn't too terrible as far as textbooks went anyway. Even learned a few things not that he was volunteering to help with the medical stuff. Too much touching involved for the hunter to be comfortable. But at least if someone broke a leg he'd know what to do.
He also learned the medically approved way to treat a snake bite. Though when they'd been kids Merle had sucked out more than a few snake bites from them both. He often told Daryl that if he didn't sit still while he was working he'd just have to cut the limb off. It wasn't until years later that Daryl realized neither of them had ever been bitten by any poisonous snakes, he could never tell if Merle knew that and was just trying to scare him or if he really did think there was a chance they could die from the bites.
"Yah?" Daryl called glancing up from his book, the sun was setting outside his window. He'd managed to avoid going crazy through the day, barely.
"How are you feeling?" Daryl's face reddened behind his book. He didn't need to look up to know it was Rick. Judging by the smell that entered the room with him, he had dinner.
"I'm fine." Daryl mumbled. The last thing he really wanted was to be around Rick. He'd acted like such a little bitch in front of him. The man was probably disappointed in his pathetic behavior. Daryl's father would have beaten him black and blue if he had acted like that in front of him. But Rick wouldn't do that right? Daryl's hands clenched tightly around the book. Maybe he'll just set the food down and leave. Daryl thought desperately.
"Looks like you've gone a little stir crazy in here." The officer chuckled. Daryl glanced around the room quickly. He'd thrown the pillows off the bed and kicked the sheets to the floor. They were too soft and plushy for his taste. There were half finished arrows scattered around the room and several of the medical textbooks were set haphazardly on the side table.
"Looks fine to me." Daryl shrugged.
"I brought you some food." Rick smiled warmly. Daryl ducked his head, not wanting to see any anger or disappointment reflected in the man's blue eyes. "I was hoping I could eat in here. Keep you company?"
"Don' need any company." Daryl barked back, it felt like Rick was reminding Daryl how pathetic he had acted when he fainted. This made his automatic responses of aggression and withdrawal stronger than normal.
"Okay, then maybe you could keep me company while I eat?" Rick pressed not being deferred by Daryl's attitude. "If you really want me gone I'll leave. But I'd prefer to stay here if possible." Daryl gulped, would he be a sissy to say that Rick could stay? The man was asking Daryl to let him stay. Not the other way around. So… maybe just this once it would be okay? Daryl glanced up at Rick who was waiting for his reply. The hunter noticed there were two bowls in his hands, one for him and the other for Daryl. Obviously, the man didn't want to eat with the others (probably due to the fight he and Lori had, if Daryl had to guess.) Daryl bit the side of his thumb but he put his book down and nodded slightly to the chair. Rick smiled widely at him and took a seat before handing one of the bowls to Daryl. "Maggie, Glenn, and I went on a supply run today. So there's plenty of food."
"Did ya'll eat all the deer meet?" Daryl asked trying to keep himself busy and not focused on Rick.
"Nah Hershel helped us preserve some of it. So there's still some left. We wouldn't eat it all without you."
"Ya could have if ya wanted to." Daryl shrugged. Rick had a disappointed look in his eyes when Daryl said that but it passed quickly.
"Looks like you've had fun today."
"Wouldn' call it fun exactly." Daryl grumbled shifting uncomfortably in his bed.
"You made a lot of arrows."
"Didn' have nothin' better to do." He turned his eyes to the pile of arrows. At least he wouldn't run out for a little while.
Silence trailed between them. Daryl didn't normally mind silence however it felt like Rick was trying to talk about something but couldn't figure out how to say it. That set Daryl on edge. It made him worried that it was about him. That despite everyone's words he really was putting a strain on the group and their survival.
"Did you enjoy the books?" Rick looked up from his food that he'd been poking at for a while.
"They weren' terrible." Daryl huffed. "Hershel tryin' to keep me busy I'd guess."
"That sounds like him." Rick smiled openly. "I'm glad you're feeling better." Daryl shrugged at his words. "Every time I checked in on you, you were completely out."
"Ya checked up on me?" Daryl asked incredulously.
"Yeah." Rick's blue eyes sparkled with camaraderie. Daryl wanted to recoil from that look but he had nowhere to escape to. "During the breaks when I was on the night watch, I've sat in here. It's quieter than the other rooms and I figured you could use the company. Know that you weren't alone." Daryl turn slightly away from Rick to hide the color that rushed to his cheeks.
"Didn' even know ya were here." Daryl grunted.
"Well it's the thought that counts right?" Rick shrugged. "If I were in your position I wouldn't want to be left completely alone. I always hated being left alone when I was sick when I was little."
Daryl thought about the image of Rick being little sick in bed with his mother and father watching over him and giving him hugs and soup with little happy smiles in the crackers. At least that's how families acted on the Hallmark specials that Daryl saw when his father was too drunk to realize what he was watching. In fact, his father probably thought they were pornos judging by the fact that any time there was a special on he'd yell about everyone needing to take their clothes off. Daryl could see that in Rick's life, in a cookie cutter sort of world where everything was perfect.
But Daryl himself couldn't see that at all for him. Whenever he was sick as a child his father would beat him when he cough too much and interrupt whatever floozy he was banging. There was only a few times that Merle was actually around and able to help Daryl when he was sick or injured. Usually his brother was either in juvie or avoiding home by staying at the bar with his gang. Daryl has some very pale memories of his mother taking care of him when he had a fever. But those were faded and dull with all the years between them. He could barely see his mother in his head but he could remember feeling her cold fingers on his head as she tried to rub his frequent fevers out. He could still smell the same smoky Virginia Slims that clung to her fingers and hair but he couldn't remember what her eyes looked like when she was happy. Or even what her voice sounded like when she called his name.
"Daryl?" Rick's voice whispered close to his ear. "Are you feeling ill?" Concern was laced in the man's eyes. "Do you want me to get Hershel?"
"Hell no." Daryl growled. "Last thin' I need is to be stuck in here longer."
"You had a faraway look in your eyes."
"Yer imaginin' it." Daryl denied.
"Well regardless you have to tell me if you get sick or feel bad again remember? You made an oath with me." Rick looked him hard in the eyes. Daryl couldn't lie to those eyes. It felt like the man would know the instant he lied.
"I shouldn' have told ya." Daryl hissed under his breath.
"You keep saying that." Rick sighed. He rested his arms on his legs after moving his bowl to the table. Rick's whole body seemed heavy with wariness. "Why did you tell me about it? You keep talking about how you shouldn't have told me. So why did you?" Daryl put his head against the headboard and stared at the wall anywhere but Rick.
"'Cause we need to be able to trust each other. 'Cause ya needed a way to trust me and it's the only thin' I have that means anythin'."
"Trust you?" Rick whispered. Daryl glanced at Rick from the corner of his eyes. The man looked shocked and upset. His eyes were wide and almost watery as they gazed at Daryl. "Daryl you…" Daryl turned towards Rick waiting for the man to tell him how there was no way for him to ever trust the hunter. That redneck trash wasn't worthy of trust. Rick licked his lips and opened his mouth, the man hadn't uttered a single syllable before a knock interrupted him.
"Dad?" Carl poked his head into the room. Rick jerked back in his seat like he'd been bitten by a walker and turned quickly to Carl.
"Yeah?"
"Mom wants to talk to you and it's about time to switch the watch soon." Rick sighed deeply and nodded at his son.
"Thanks Carl. I'll be right there." Carl closed the door but not before he shot Daryl a quick shy smile. He seemed to be in good spirits, Rick on the other hand deflated the moment the door shut. "Listen Daryl now's not the time, but we need to talk about this. We need to talk about a lot of things." Rick rubbed his temples. "We just… I mean." He sighed. "Need to work things out." He muttered. Daryl bit his lip as his father's and Merle's voices nipped at the back of his mind. "We'll talk later… Once we have the time." Daryl nodded but he couldn't really hear Rick anymore, the voices in his ears were louder than Rick's voice. They were louder than Daryl's own thoughts. "Well I'd better go." Rick groaned standing up wearily. "Sleep well Daryl."
Daryl nodded automatically his eyes locked on the wall. The door shut leaving Daryl alone with his demons for the rest of the night.
Man I'm sorry this took so long to get out! I've been on vacation for a while and haven't had an internet connection the whole time. But I'm back and good news is the next chapter is basically done too (just need to edit it) so that should be up soon. Thank you for waiting! Also thank you everyone who reviewed, favorites, and follows this story. I can't express how happy it makes me! It makes me excited for all the different places I'm planning on taking this story. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and are willing to keep following me as slowly bring them together! Thanks again and see you next time!
