The impact of something hard and heavy smashing against Rick's face left a ringing in his ears and spots jumping around his eyes. Rick nearly collapsed but he landed against the shelf behind him and managed to steady his legs for a moment. He felt dazed like he'd gone a round with a brick wall using only his head as a weapon. Rick shakily raised a hand to his temple. It came away crimson as blood trickled down his cheeks and started to drip down his chin onto the dirty ground below. The spots started to clear slightly but the ringing persisted. "Daryl?" He called hoarsely. Rick's eyes were locked on his fingers and the blood trickling towards his wrist. "Daryl did I fall?"
Rick couldn't understand how he ended up hurt. He wondered if he'd been shot. His ears hurt like he was back in the tank in Atlanta. "Daryl?" He called again sliding down the shelf to rest on the ground. The ground was crunchy and full of dirty and shards of pottery. "I think I hit my head." Rick mumbled. He looked up to where Daryl was standing. Or where he should have been standing. "Daryl?" Rick called out again. He turned his head slowly from side to side but couldn't see the hunter anywhere. He peeled his jacket off and pressed it to his temple. "Slow the blood flow." Rick mumbled remembering Hershel's words about bleeding wounds. He waited a moment until the ringing stopped and the room didn't spin as badly before standing up.
When Rick was at his full height, he breathed slowly trying to control the wave of nausea that hit his stomach like a metal bat. He gripped his bag and pulled in onto his shoulder. "Daryl." He whispered. He moved to the door and nearly tripped over Daryl's bags. He shrugged them on and drew his Python. Rick cautiously moved to the entrance. If Daryl wasn't here but his bags were then he might have been attacked. This fact sobered Rick up almost instantly. He dropped his jacket on the ground; a minor wound wasn't going to stop him, especially with a member of his group in danger. The pain in his head was forgotten as he moved outside. Rick couldn't see or hear any walkers but that didn't mean the place was safe. He eased the back door to the house open with his foot. No sounds came from within. "Daryl?" Rick called as loud as he dared. Nothing returned to him, no voices calling back nor shuffling of walkers hungry for a bite. Rick checked each room but the house looked the same as it had when they first entered it. No signs of a fight or a struggle either.
Rick stood in the driveway, he couldn't pick out any tire marks, and no smell of gasoline. "Daryl." Rick gripped the shoulder strap of the hunter's bag tighter. The urge to search the surrounding area was almost overwhelming. The fear that coiled in Rick's gut caused a shimmer of sweat to bead along his temple. Daryl's the tracker, Rick reminded himself. It would better to have everyone help, he decided making his way to the neighborhood the rest of the group was at.
Rick entered through the cellar door and knocked four times signaling that it was him. A moment later and Glenn opened the door.
"Hey did you make any oh Jesus!" Glenn rushed forward to help Rick inside the house. "What happened?!" Rick shook his head.
"Daryl's…need." He mumbled the ringing was back and his mouth felt like it was full of cotton.
"Hershel! Come quick!" Glenn yelled supporting Rick. He helped half-leading half-dragging Rick into the living room. Rick collapsed on the couch; the bags slid down his shoulders and thunked to the floor at his feet.
"What's going on?" Hershel asked rushing down the stairs.
"Rick?!" Lori wailed moving to his side.
"Dad?" Carl shouted from up the stairs. The room was a flurry of movement as everyone started to crowd around their leader.
"Let me look." Hershel said moving Rick's hair from his temple and the wound. His hair clung together in chunks, dyed red from blood. "Carol get my kit."
"What happened?!" Maggie cried her voice rising with fear. "Were you attacked?"
"We need to leave!"
"It's not safe anymore." Maggie said fiercely.
"Stop it!" Lori yelled in Maggie's face. "Rick is hurt! We are not going anywhere!"
"My dad can patch him up on the road. But if this place is about to be overrun we have to leave now!"
"We can't." Rick growled. "Daryl…"
"Daryl?" Carol whispered from the doorway. Her eyes were impossibly large. "Is he?"
"I don't know." Rick mumbled. "I got hit and when I realized what happened Daryl was gone." Carol trembled at his words.
"Carol! The kit now!" Hershel hissed. She set it down and breathed deeply composing herself.
"What do you need?" She asked Hershel. Her face a mask of calm control. Though Rick didn't doubt a storm of fear was churning in her chest just like one was brewing in his own chest.
"The gauze and bandages." While she got those together, he turned his attention back to Rick. "How long ago did this happen?"
"I'm not sure." Rick murmured.
"Have you been feeling lightheaded? Nausea or vomiting?" Hershel asked looking into Rick's eyes.
"A little lightheaded and nauseous but no vomiting."
"What about passing out or seizures?"
"I don't think so." Hershel nodded and pressed the gauze that Carol handed him to Rick's head.
"The good news is it looks like it's only a mild concussion."
"You call that mild?!" Lori cried her eyes wide and hysteria overtaking her voice.
"It's a head wound. They bleed a lot. If Rick's pupils were dilated or he had had a seizure then that's different. But right now he's alert and able to talk to us. He'll have a headache from the wound and blood loss but otherwise he should be okay." Hershel said in a calm voice trying to relax Lori. Carol gently touched Lori's arm and nodded at her.
"He'll be okay don't worry." She said softly. Carol's words didn't seem to console Lori much. She still stared up at Rick with huge terrified eyes like she expected him to drop dead at any moment.
"Though I will insist that you don't sleep for a little while, that way I can keep my eye on you and make sure it doesn't get worse." Rick nodded at Hershel's words. Hershel tied the bandages around Rick's head tightly so they could hold the gauze in place. "I'd say you got lucky though. Could have been a hell of a lot worse."
"Is the area secure?" Maggie asked softly from the windows. She kept glancing out like she expected a herd to come knocking on the door at any moment.
"I wasn't attacked by walkers. I didn't see any on the way in." Rick mumbled prodding the fresh bandages. "But we'll keep watch to make sure." He assured her. Maggie calmed down almost immediately at his words. Rick looked up at Carol who was still staring at him with eyes that were close to tears. "We'll find him. We will." He told her. Carol gave a halfhearted smile that didn't reach her eyes. She touched Rick's hand.
"I know." She agreed squeezing his hand.
"Not tonight you won't." Lori hissed angrily. Her face was twisted with rage at the idea of Rick leaving. "You're hurt! You can't go anywhere!"
"Daryl is out there!" Rick snarled. "This isn't a discussion. I'm going out there."
"Rick I understand your good intentions but Lori is right. You're hurt. If you go out there and push yourself, you could make it worse easily. That could kill you." Hershel said softly, his wise eyes watching Rick. Trying to talk sense into him.
"It's going to be dark soon anyway." Maggie added. "We can't go out there at night. It's too hard to see and we'd just get lost. That wouldn't help anyone." Carol looked as crushed as Rick felt. He knew the same thing was flashing through her mind, as it was his, Sophia. It's just like it was with Sophia.
"We'll keep watch." Glenn said gently. "If we see him while on watch we could go after him right?" This felt like losing a war. Rick wanted to press forward to argue that they couldn't leave Daryl out there alone. Carol's hand on his made him pause.
"Daryl will be okay." She said softly there was no doubt in her voice. "He's survived days on his own before and at night. He'll be back. I know it." Rick looked for any lies in her eyes. But he couldn't see any, the only thing he saw in her eyes was the same thing he felt inside of himself. An unshakable trust that if anyone could survive it was Daryl. If anyone would make it back to the group, it was him.
It was that trust that allowed Rick to nod. Carol smiled gently and helped Rick to stand. Lori rushed to his side to help as well but Rick yanked his arm back. He didn't want anything to do with her. He wanted to go after Daryl. He wanted the sinking dark feeling in his gut to vanish with the hunter's return. Until then he couldn't tolerate Lori's eyes judging him, constantly questioning his every move.
Carol helped lead Rick up the stairs. "Come on." She whispered. "You can keep watch for a while with Carl." Rick nodded.
"He'll be okay." It wasn't a question. Carol nodded.
"He will." She agreed as she eased the door open.
"Dad? Are you okay?" Carl asked from by the window. He obviously had wanted to rush down the stairs at the commotion Rick's return caused but he took his duty to keep the group safe seriously and didn't leave his post.
"Fine, slight bump on the head." Carol helped put Rick in one of the chairs near the window.
"I'll go help Hershel clean up. Carl make sure he doesn't sleep. He needs to stay awake for a while." Carl nodded at her words and turned back to the window.
"I was going to ask you how training went but obviously not well." Carl joked awkwardly. Rick groaned.
"God training. Almost forgot about that." Rick rubbed his temple slightly hoping the ache would leave.
"So did Daryl get tired of you and push you off a cliff?"
"No. He keeps trying to teach me. I'm…just not very good." Rick sighed leaning back in his chair.
"Takes time. Carol wasn't very good at shooting but she's getting better." Carl pointed out. He kept glancing at his father but no longer than a second or two. He didn't want to risk leaving the group exposed because his father was injured.
"That she is. I just… should be better than I am. I can't stay quiet and I can't track." Rick licked his lips. "It's discouraging."
"Keep trying. I'm sure it'll click." Rick smiled at his son. He sounded so mature. Older than he was, part of the problem with growing up in this world. No childhood left for Carl to enjoy. It seemed cruel at times but Carl had continued to surprise him with his adaptability and strength. Silence filled the room as Rick stared at his son. He could remember a time when Carl was afraid of the dark. Now there were genuine reasons to be afraid of the dark. It just seemed so backwards. His son was doing things that Rick himself hadn't learned until he was an adult. But Carl never complained he pushed forward not just for himself but for everyone. "Are you okay? Is talking making your head hurt?" Carl asked his eyes sliding over to his father.
"I'm fine. Just thinking." Rick mumbled. "I should probably keep talking huh? Make sure I don't fall asleep."
"Yeah." Carl nodded. "Tell me more about practice."
"God. Why?"
"Cause it's funny to hear about. Daryl still tells me how you nearly fell into the creek trying to chase down a squirrel." Carl chuckled at the memory. Rick however felt his body grow cold at the mention of Daryl. They'd left him out there and this wasn't one of his 'I'm going hunting for the good of the group' things. This was a 'I have no idea where Daryl went and if he's even alive' deals. Rick closed his eyes and composed himself. Carol was right, Daryl was alive. He wouldn't die so easily. The man was too stubborn to die. Though knowing Daryl he'd say his Dixon blood was too stubborn to die. Rick let a breath out slowly. Daryl's alive. He said mentally, leaving no room for second thoughts. "Dad?" Carl asked concerned.
"Sorry lost in thought." Rick smiled softly at his son who calmed considerably at his words.
"You're not supposed to sleep so talk. It'll keep you awake. People can't sleep and talk at the same time."
"Are you sure about that? You've held full conversations with me when you were asleep." Rick laughed at Carl's horrified expression.
"No I didn't! Did I?" Rick nodded and Carl looked even more terrified. "Oh god did I say anything bad?"
"Not to me." Rick laughed. "But you did tell your mother that a dress she was wearing made her look like a two legged purple elephant." Carl groaned and put his head in his hand. Rick chuckled. "Don't worry it wasn't a very nice dress anyway." He reassured his son.
"Now you've embarrassed me. So embarrass yourself and tell me about your training." Carl glared at Rick.
"Ouch when did you get to be so harsh?"
"Since you didn't buy me a pony for my birthday." Carl deadpanned. Rick snickered.
"Maybe next year. I'll find you a unicorn."
"You had better." Carl agreed smiling at his father. It suited him, Rick decided. It had been too long since he'd seen his son smile.
"So where should I start?" Rick sighed. Putting his arms against his knees.
"From the beginning?"
"Now you're just being mean." He looked pointedly at Carl.
"Just a little."
"We started off with that 'dumb be as still and quiet as possible exercise.'" Rick sighed.
"You mean the hide and seek one? Jeez dad thought you'd have graduated to at least middle school games." Carl grinned widely at his father.
"You know just because the world has ended doesn't mean I can't ground you."
"What are you going to do? Take my phone from me?" Carl quirked an eyebrow. Rick chuckled deeply.
"I guess it's a little harder to ground you now."
"So you played games. Did you learn anything?" Carl redirected not wanting to torture Rick too much, even though his son was good at it.
"That I breathe too loud? Or shift too much? I don't know how he always finds me. I could be underwater and Daryl would still be able to find me."
"It's what he's good at. Just like you're good at leading our group." Carl glanced sideways at his father. Rick smiled softly at his son. He reached forward and grasped his son's shoulder. Rick's eyes were gentle and filled with love for his boy, speaking volumes of his affection for his son. Carl smiled lightly back at his father. Rick nodded at Carl and gave a quick squeeze before releasing his shoulder.
"How have things been around here?"
"Quiet." Carl shrugged. "Not nearly as exciting as playing hide and seek."
"I bet."
"Do you think Daryl was popular as a kid? Cause he's so good at all those kinds of games. He must have had a lot of practice right?" Rick tried to imagine Daryl as a child. He couldn't do it. All he could do was see a smaller Daryl trying to hunt squirrels but his arms were too small for him to load his crossbow. Rick chuckled at the image. Carl glanced at Rick clearly confused.
"Um I have no idea."
"I bet he was more of a lone wolf as a teenager. You know those cool kids who don't follow the rules." Carl's eyes sparkled with his envisioned image of Daryl as a teenager.
"That's cool?" Rick asked. "Guess I wasn't very cool then."
"You didn't break the rules?" Rick shook his head.
"Not really. I played sports mostly. I didn't have time for any rule breaking." Shane was the rule breaker. Rick lived through Shane and his stories when they were younger. Sure Shane had managed to get Rick to go on some of his adventures, but most of the time Rick had to settle for listening to Shane retelling his grand adventures. He never really wanted to get into the kind of trouble Shane seemed to enjoy when they were younger. But then again that was before, when the dead rising seemed like a plot in a bad late night horror movie. "Guess the world's changed." Rick mumbled. Carl nodded in agreement.
"Yeah it has." Rick sighed and rubbed his temple. The ache in his head felt worse. All he wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep. Rick blinked his eyes trying to keep them open but they kept drooping. His head fell against the wall. Rick watched his son keeping watch on the outside world closely. Things were so wrong. This world was wrong but Rick had no idea how to fix it. The best he could do was keep his family alive. Keep his family safe. His family of nine was all that mattered in the end.
Rick closed his eyes. Just for a few minutes he thought. Just need to rest my eyes for a little while. Rick could hear whispers around him. But he couldn't figure out how to get the sleep off his eyelids. They stubbornly refused to move. The noise drifted away from him and he fell deeper into sleep.
Much later Rick shifted his fingers. He moved each body part slowly trying to wake up each limb fully yet his mind wanted nothing more than to roll over and sleep more.
Rick's fingers moved slowly across his lap mapping out his worn jeans. He knew every inch of his clothes (from being stuck in most of them for longer than he could ever wish) it was only when his fingers touched something velvety and fragile that alertness filtered back to him. Rick opened his eyes and felt the crusty dryness at his eyes. A few blinks and it cleared up somewhat. He gently lifted the thing that had woken him up, in his hands. It was a batch of four light blue hydrangeas. The color instantly reminded Rick of Daryl's eyes when he was excited.
Lori had often told Rick when they first started dating that she could tell how he was feeling by the emotion behind his eyes. Rick hadn't believed her (didn't really want to believe her. The idea of being so readable scared him.) until he met Daryl, the man was virtually unreadable when he wanted to be. But Rick had started to realize within the last few months of knowing the man that Daryl's eyes often showed how he was feeling. Not as much as Rick's own apparently but enough that he could usually guess. Daryl's eyes changed color according to his mood. It was part of why Rick liked to look Daryl in the eyes. So he could watch the changes from minute to minute. Though it sometimes seemed like his staring unnerved the hunter but that only made it more fun for Rick.
He ran his fingers over the petals stroking them gently. They weren't the waxy texture he associated with fake flowers that were at the dinner parties he'd attend a lifetime ago. Rick was about to stand to and rejoin the group to ask who gave the hydrangeas to him when a voice in the dark made him jump.
"Ya finally awake?" Rick's eyes widened as shock flittered in.
"Daryl?" He whispered almost not believing the man could be in front of him. Daryl shifted his blue eyes to Rick for a moment.
"Ya wasn' supposed to go to sleep. Isn' that what Hershel said?"
"Am I dreaming?" Rick asked reaching forward. He wanted to check, to make sure Daryl was really there. The hunter quickly batted his hand away.
"'Course not. Unless ya see that lion in the tutu too." Rick stared at Daryl then he realized what the hunter had said, a small chuckle brushed Rick's lips. Daryl didn't often make jokes unless he felt the situation really needed it. Sarcastic retorts were more his style.
"I thought…" Rick bit his lip. "I was going to look for you in the morning. I was worried you'd been hurt or attacked."
"Nah." Daryl mumbled, shifting his eyes away from Rick.
"Then where did you-" Rick started but Daryl seemed to curl away from him at his prompting. Rick sighed and settled back in his chair. The last thing he wanted was to make Daryl mad which would (probably) lead to him storming off. Instead, Rick busied himself by playing with the flowers. He kept his eyes on Daryl while his fingers touched each petal delicately. Unlike the rest of the group who used the chairs to rest on during the watch, Daryl seemed to prefer cramming himself into the window frames and resting his body against the window. It looked terribly uncomfortable especially considering how tall Daryl was. Somehow, he managed to make his large frame fit into the little squares.
"I brought the bags back." Rick said trying to get Daryl to talk to him. He was dying to ask where the hunter had been but the slightly dark look in Daryl's eyes warned him against asking anything about that subject just yet. His eyes weren't sky blue like normal instead they were a dark almost cobalt blue, which meant he was upset or at the very least feeling uncomfortable.
"I saw." Daryl mumbled cutting any chance of a conversation short.
"Your stuff should still be in there." Rick tried again. He had dealt with Daryl's standoffish personality for long enough to know when pushing his luck might actually get Daryl to open up. But only if he did it correctly. Rick always thought of Daryl like a feral cat. A cat that would eat the food you offer and maybe (if you're really lucky) let you pet it but this wasn't a tame cat you pick up. Relentless effort and patience became Rick's best tools when trying to crack through the tough shell that is Daryl Dixon.
"I already sorted everythin'. It's all handled." The conversation died between them uncomfortably. Rick brought one of the hydrangeas to his nose it smelled like a world lost to him now. A world where he could just go to the store and buy flowers easily. Rick realized with sadness that he didn't take any time to notice things like flowers and beauty anymore. Hershel had mentioned on the farm that taking moments to pause and reflect on the world around him was important. Rick had already started to shut that part of his mind down. No time for beauty when everything could go to hell so quickly.
Rick noticed that Daryl was watching him from the corner of his eye. "Where did you find them?" He asked Daryl. Rick didn't have to ask if Daryl had gotten them for him or not. It was obvious by the way the hunter was staring at him interacting with the flowers. He was a little too interested. The way Daryl watched him reminded Rick of a teenager giving a gift to his girlfriend for the first time.
Rick knew how Daryl had brought Carol a rose to lift her spirits after Sophia's disappearance. Daryl even knew the story behind the flower. It was one of the worse kept secrets on the farm at the time besides Maggie and Glenn hooking up of course. And if Rick was completely honest Daryl was the only one who considered giving gifts still something they all deserved from time to time.
"Around." Daryl grunted.
"Well thank you." Rick smiled at him. "Do they mean anything? Do you know?" Daryl nodded.
"They mean perseverance in adversity…" Rick almost felt like laughing. Of course Daryl would give him something that means perseverance. "They're also an apology." Daryl ducked his head. He didn't look Rick in the eyes as he spoke. Daryl looked like a dog that had been beaten and was cowering in the corner. It upset Rick deeply to see such a broken look on the man.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean… I'm sorry." He mumbled. Daryl looked completely ashamed and unhappy.
"You don't have anything to apologize for." Rick tried to reassure Daryl but that seemed to bother him more.
"Yah I do." Daryl insisted. "For leavin' ya alone." He bit his lip. "And for this." Daryl whispered running one long slender finger against the bandage on Rick's temple. He seemed completely uncomfortable touching Rick but Daryl didn't pull away despite the slight tremor that ran through his body.
"I don't get it." Rick murmured he on the other hand enjoyed the feeling of Daryl touching him. The ache in his head seemed to be lessened with Daryl stroking lightly. It felt like Daryl was treating the wound as if it would break Rick if he touched too hard.
"I was the one who did this to ya." Daryl elaborated.
"Oh. Um..." Rick blinked watching Daryl closely. He still wasn't sure he understood what was going on completely. "Guess I should be glad you didn't shoot me." Daryl's lips perked ever so slightly at his joke.
"I'm sorry." He said sobering almost instantly as he slowly ran the same finger over the bandage.
"It's fine." Rick smiled back. "But um... Could you at least tell me why?" Daryl recoiled at this. His hand flying back to his body quicker than Rick could blink. "Daryl?"
The man looked at him with wide eyes. His eyes had a scared look that didn't fit the hunter at all Rick decided.
"I didn' mean to. I swear. I just…" Daryl sighed and looked down at his hands like they had the answers. "By the time I came to I was miles away. I didn' realize what happened until I got back." Daryl mumbled his explanation. Rick wanted to tell the man that unfortunately his explanation made no sense. But at the same time he knew he was getting more out of Daryl than he normally would be able to. Therefore, he kept quiet as the man struggled with his words.
"Daryl?" Rick asked. The hunter looked up at him. His eyes were guarded like he expected something bad to happen to him. "It's okay. I understand...sort of. But I made it out okay so did you. That's all that matters right now." Rick smiled warmly. Hoping that Daryl realized he held no ill will towards him.
"Yer supposed to say 'do it again and ya best pray I'm dead.'"
"And I would say that because?"
"Cause it's what I told Andrea." He said with a shrug. Rick chuckled.
"Wow no wonder she was always on edge around you."
"She did shoot me in the head, remember?"
"That she did." Rick agreed. He remembered the terror that had shot through his body when Daryl had collapsed in front of him. Rick hadn't said anything to Andrea but he had felt intense rage towards her at that moment. She could have killed him so easily. But that was in the past, Rick reminded himself. He looked back to the hydrangeas. "You said these are for perseverance right?" Rick asked holding the hydrangeas up. Daryl nodded. "Why did you give them to me?"
"'Cause ya were feelin' pretty low after trainin'. Didn' want ya to give up." Daryl scratched the back of his neck. "I know I'm not the best teacher out there but ya really are learnin' a lot. And ya've gotten tons better." Daryl glanced shyly over at Rick.
"Thanks Daryl." He grinned. "Not sure I agree with you but thanks anyway."
Let me just say when it comes to the meaning of flowers every single site I checked gave different meanings. So if I'm wrong I'm sorry! Let me know and I'll change them. I'm hoping to use the meaning of flowers again so hopefully the site I'm using isn't too far off. (and realized that I'm probably the only one who worries about something like this...) Oh well! Thank you for reading! If you have the time please review. I really am so happy every time I get a review makes my freaking day! Hopefully I'll see everyone in Ch 9. Until next time!
