Daryl still felt groggy as he and Rick moved through the woods checking the traps they had set the day before. It like his mind was still half asleep even though his body had been awake for hours. The air was still cold and felt slightly frosted but nothing he wasn't used to. Even Rick didn't seem too bothered by the weather. But maybe that was because he'd managed to escape from Hershel keeping him at the house all day. The white bandages were still visible under the man's hairline but they were clean and the wound had clotted during the night. Leaving Hershel with no choice but to give Rick a clean bill of health.
"Not much in the traps, is there?" Rick asked after a moment. His eyes watching Daryl closely as he checked each one thoroughly.
"Nah. Doesn' look like it."
"Too bad." Rick sighed.
They traveled deeper into the woods moving quietly to not startle any game along the way. After the third trap came up empty, Rick seemed to decide it was time to talk. He moved to Daryl's side and grinned at him with a mischievous look in his blue eyes.
"Almost feels like we're going on a date. You gave me the flowers yesterday and now we're alone on a romantic walk through the woods." Rick said with a chuckle. Daryl's cheeks flushed and he stumbled almost tripping over his own feet.
"What?!" His heart rate spiked at the man's words. Something about last night's dream almost reached back into Daryl's mind. Almost but he shoved it away, not wanting to get distracted by nightmares again. There wasn't time to get distracted right now.
"Relax I was kidding." Rick grinned. "You need to lighten up. You're always so serious Daryl." Daryl grunted and tried to calm the pounding in his chest and the fire that burned through his body. "What did you do for fun before all this?"
"'Bout the same actually." Daryl mumbled with a shrug. "Huntin' and survivin'."
"You didn't work?" Rick asked coming to a stop so he could better look at Daryl.
"Nah I did. Just nothing as impressive as being an officer of the law." Daryl came to a stop too. He scuffed the toes of his boots into the dirt. He glanced over at Rick. "It was mostly manual labor stuff or short term jobs. Sometimes I'd fix cars or bikes. Preferred workin' on bikes." Rick nodded leaning against a tree. "Even worked as a bartender for a little while."
"Really?" Rick seemed genuinely surprised.
"Nothin' like yer thinkin'." Daryl smirked. "It was a pretty shitty bar. Same one my brother and his gang went to all the time. Figured if I worked there, I could keep an eye on him. Maybe keep him out of trouble." Daryl scratched his neck. "Though lookin' back on it he got me into more trouble than I could keep him out of."
"That's still work though. What did you do for fun? To relax?" Rick pressed. Daryl shrugged. "Did you go dancing?" Daryl snorted at that idea. He wouldn't be caught dead on a dance floor. "Shop?" Kinda need money to shop, Daryl thought. "Date?" Rick asked softly. Daryl swallowed the lump in his throat. Rick was watching him so closely it made the hunter's skin itch. The space between them seemed to collapse to only a few inches. It had been a long long time since Daryl had dated anyone. Even before the end of the world. He just didn't have the time or skills to really get anyone interested in dating him. The few relationships he had tended to end badly for him.
"Sure every once in a while. Not often. Wasn' really my thin' you know?" He explained quickly, hoping Rick would move on as quickly as he spoke. He didn't want to admit that it had been a few good years since he'd seriously dated anyone. It was a stupid ego thing. He knew it but still the idea of letting Rick know how long it had been since he'd been laid was almost too embarrassing for him. Rick nodded.
"Yeah I've never been very good with that stuff either." Rick admitted as he scratched his bandages. "I dated maybe four girls before marrying Lori." Daryl gave him an odd look. "What?"
"Nothin' just always thought you dated lots of women. You seem the type." Rick scoffed
"I could say the same about you." He gave Daryl a pointed look.
"Nah Merle's good with women gives them honeyed lines and all that. Me, I get tongue tied and shit. Don' get the whole romance thin'. Huntin' always came easier to me than talkin'. Even as a child, I had a hard time talkin' to other kids. Reason why I had a hard time makin' friends. Somethin' I never really outgrew I guess." He shrugged.
"So you preferred being alone in the woods?"
"Yeah." Daryl chuckled. "In fact Merle used to say that if I wasn' any good with people than I shouldn' try and instead do what I'm good at and stay in the woods huntin'."
"Hm." Rick murmured looking at Daryl hard with his bright blue eyes. He seemed to be searching for an answer in Daryl's eyes. "It's an interesting idea, I'm just not sure I agree. If you aren't good with being around people the only way to change that is to be around them. You can't get good at something if you don't give yourself the chance to fail at it first."
"Hrn." Daryl grunted. He'd never thought of it that way. His father and Merle had always said that if he was such a failure he shouldn't even bother trying to get better at something. Merle was a little more tolerant of his failures than his father was. But failure wasn't something the Dixon's responded well to. Daryl was no exception.
Maybe that was why things felt different with the group. He was able to fail around them and learn from those failures. He wasn't on the same level as the group but they were willing to let him pretend he was for a little while. By being around them he was slowly learning what it meant to be a part of something bigger. To have people to rely on and people you wanted to protect.
Daryl wasn't sure how he felt about the way the group was starting to take up such a large place in his head and heart but he couldn't deny that he cared about them and their wellbeing. Merle would tell him the group was making him weak, and maybe he would be right. But Daryl was starting to enjoy having people around him (only a little though.) He started to like feeling like the group could rely on him and trust him to get the job done.
But more than that he liked that Rick trusted him. That if he needed help with something it was Daryl he turned to. Back on the farm it had always been Shane, (even though Shane was a traitorous backstabber, anyone who really watched him could see it) that Rick had at his side. But after Dale's death Rick started to rely more on Daryl than Shane. The hunter didn't tell anyone (especially not Rick) but he enjoyed that feeling. That he was trustworthy, more than Shane at least. It was a sense of worth that Daryl couldn't really associate with himself.
Because when it came down to it Daryl didn't have the same worth that the rest of the group did. But he proved his worth to Rick with the torture of Randall and the mercy killing of Dale. Hell if Rick had asked, he would have killed Randall himself. Save the man the trouble. But unlike Shane Daryl was willing to follow Rick's plan until the end. That, Daryl realized was the true difference between Shane and himself. Shane wanted to be in charge. Daryl didn't, he trusted Rick and knew he would do his best for the group. Shane… Shane was only in it for himself.
"Look Daryl I don't know if I'm overstepping any lines but sometimes the only way we grow is by figuring out the path we want to take by ourselves." Rick smiled slightly. "Despite their best intentions sometimes our families don't always know what's best for us." Daryl stared at Rick. He wanted to tell the man he clearly had never met his family. The Dixon family was only in it for themselves. The only one Daryl could ever trust was Merle. He was there for Daryl when he could be.
"Blood is blood." Merle whispered at the edge of his brain. "Blood can only ever count on blood."
"Well it's just my opinion." Rick shrugged and pushed off the tree he was leaning against. "Let's go." Daryl nodded and followed behind Rick. His mind still occupied with everything that had been said. It spun around in Daryl's head as he trailed after Rick.
"Hey Rick?" Daryl called to the officer who stopped and looked behind him.
"Yeah?"
"Well I was wonderin'-" Daryl started, he tried to get the words out of his mouth but they wouldn't come, he sighed. This wasn't important, he reminded himself. "Doesn' matter." He grumbled pushing past Rick.
"Hey! Wait!" Rick called loudly. He raced to catch up with Daryl as he stomped away purposely. "Daryl! Wait! What were you going to say?"
"Nothin'." Daryl growled. He tried to get free from Rick's piercing gaze by moving faster through the forest.
"No you were clearly going to say something, what was it?"
"Doesn' matter. Drop it!" Daryl pushed Rick away from him. Rick landed hard against the tree behind him.
"What the hell Daryl?!" Rick growled.
"Look let's just-" Daryl's eyes widened as he jumped forward. He shifted his body and shoved his left shoulder into Rick's chest sending him sprawling to the ground. At the same time Daryl struggled to shrug his crossbow off. He managed to get it halfway off before he moved to block the walker snarling and biting at Daryl. It was a big one. Larger than most they'd seen in a while. It was a head taller than Daryl and at least two hundred pounds behind the ravenous teeth and mouth. Daryl grunted trying to get the walker off him. It kept snapping hungrily at him, as it tried to get around the blockade he'd created with the butt of his crossbow. Daryl's legs struggled as he started shifting backwards under the weight above him.
The walker tried to claw at his stomach forcing the hunter to take several steps backwards. With a growl, the walker shoved its body against Daryl's. He tried to take another step back but the leaves on the ground shifted under his boot. Daryl found himself tumbling to the ground with the hungry walker on top of him. "Shit." He hissed barely brining his crossbow up in time to shield his face from the putrid dripping jaws.
Daryl braced his bow with his right arm while searching for his knife with the other. The walker pressed in on Daryl, shoving him into the soft ground. Daryl's hand kept missing the hilt of his knife as he struggled to keep some sort of a barrier between him and the walker. The beast managed to shift Daryl's crossbow enough so that it could reach his throat. Daryl hissed when a drop of drool splattered against his throat. The teeth were snapping and inching closer. Daryl couldn't believe it would end like this. Being killed by one goddamn walker all because he got lost in his head. Trying to figure out where he stood in the world. How he fit in the group. To think that stupid chain of thought would lead to his death. Daryl shut his eyes.
"Dixon's are supposed to die in a blaze of glory." His father had told him before he could walk like his own personal bedtime story. Daryl continued to try and reach his blade in a vain hope of being able to save himself. His fingers grasped nothing but air.
A boom roared over Daryl's head. The walker went limp and collapsed on top of Daryl. The smell of putrid dead flesh and blackened blood rushed to Daryl's nose. Almost making him sick by the sheer force of the smell.
"Daryl!" Rick's frantic voice yelled from somewhere behind him. Daryl shoved the walker off him and gave it a swift kick as he stood up.
"Son of a bitch!" He hissed feeling the ribs collapse under his boot when he kicked it a second time.
"Daryl!" Rick panted. "Oh god are you alright?" Rick's eyes were huge and watery as he looked Daryl over. Daryl however was searching the woods. His ears were still ringing from the explosive sound of a gun firing so close to his head. He couldn't see any walkers but his nose and ears were nearly useless from such a close encounter with the giant walker. "I'm sorry! I didn't notice it soon enough!" Daryl shook his head and grabbed Rick's arm.
"Come on we gotta get back. We're too close to the house. Could have drawn more of them. It's not safe here anymore." Rick got very pale as he nodded. The pair sprinted back to the house and smashed their hands on the door. They didn't even need to say anything, the group could see the panic in the two men's eyes. It was a whirlwind of activity as the group grabbed everything they could carry. Daryl turned his eyes towards the staircase where his bag of books were stashed in his room. Daryl growled under his breath and grabbed the food bag and weapon bag that was by the door instead. He wouldn't put the whole group at risk because he wanted to save a few books. That was the promise he'd made to himself and he wasn't about to break it.
Carol stumbled after Daryl carrying too many bags for her slender frame. He helped push her and her load through the door.
"Quick, get in the car." Daryl growled tossing her the bags to put in the truck, while he grabbed some from Carl. Everyone moved quickly handing each other bags and running to the cars. Daryl was about to lead the group out on Merle's bike. He had almost started the triumph when Rick rushed out the cellar door. In all the chaos Daryl hadn't even noticed that the man was missing. If there was time he would allow himself to feel disgusted that he didn't even check for his leader. After his oath and everything. The dangers however were pressing in and there was no time to think about anything else. Daryl started the triumph and pushed off leading the group as far away as they could get.
He drove for a few miles. Away from the neighborhoods that they had already gone through, over the last few months. The wind whipping across his body as he lead the caravan. Daryl zigzagged from neighborhood to neighborhood. He realized with horror that several of the streets were starting to clog with walkers. More than once he had to make a quick turn to lead the others away from the walkers before they traveled too deep into the streets.
Finally Daryl saw a sign for a camp site several miles away from any of the areas they'd been to in the last few months. He pushed his bike towards the road and the caravan followed closely behind him. He went slowly to make sure there were no walkers but he didn't see or hear any. In fact the whole place felt totally deserted as they moved further into the camp ground. Daryl didn't stop at the first site and instead drove towards the end of the grounds deciding it was removed from the main road in case there were survivors around and the back exit was closer as a secondary escape should they need it.
He noted a large outcrop looking over the forest floor that could probably serve as a look out post should they need more than one during the night. The cars filed in behind him. They all parked where they could easily escape if they needed to. Everyone hopped out of their cars and looked around the campground. Each face looked weary and nervous of this new place. It wasn't as nice as the last few houses they'd been in but it wasn't nearly as bad as that attic or the sewer.
Daryl got off his bike and started to unload his supplies where he could check over what he'd managed to get from the house. Everyone seemed to be doing similar actions. Everyone but Lori and Rick that is. Rick had gotten out of the car and his wife started in on him almost immediately. Daryl couldn't help but feel sorry for the other man.
"Rick why didn't you leave with me?" Lori asked. She was obviously trying to keep the conversation between her and Rick. Unfortunately the woman had no idea how loud her voice got when she was upset. Rick was leaning against the car but he didn't seem at all concerned with his wife in front of him. "What if you got left behind?!"
"It didn't happen, so why worry about it?" Rick responded nonchalantly.
"But why did you go back?" She screeched at him. Her eyes had that slightly insane look, they sometime got when she was mad.
"I had to get something." He dismissed. Rick looked up and his eyes caught Daryl's. A smile formed on his lips as he stared at the hunter. Realizing he'd been caught staring Daryl tried to busy himself with cleaning his arrows.
"Rick! I want to talk about this!" Rick sighed heavily in response.
"Why? What's done is done. There's no point in talking about it." The leader pushed off the car and slung his bag over his shoulder.
"Rick!" Lori hissed as she started to follow him. Rick strode purposely to Daryl and stood above him. Daryl glanced up showing he was listening.
"Want to go scouting with me? Make sure the area is secure?" Daryl blinked, Rick's face was carefully neutral but still something seemed off. Especially considering how they never really scouted out a place unless they were planning to stay for more than a day. The campsite was pretty far removed so Daryl couldn't tell what the other man was thinking. But he saw Lori glaring at Rick's back and Daryl had pretty much figured out what the man was thinking.
"Ya sure ya wanna do that?" Daryl questioned softly. He didn't think Lori would really appreciate Rick leaving in the middle of their conversation, if you could call it that.
"I could go alone if you would like." Rick's eyes sparkled at him, clearly challenging him.
"Nah I'll come." Daryl sighed heaving himself up. He pulled his crossbow on and led the way out of their temporary camp. The whole time he could feel Lori's heated gaze on their retreating figures. They walked in silence until Daryl couldn't hear the noise from the camp anymore. He didn't really want anyone (Lori especially) to overhear him when he asked Rick why he decided they had to get away from the camp so suddenly. "So…" Daryl started as he slowed their pace.
"Let's keep going until we get to that overlook that we passed on the way in." Rick said redirecting them to keep going. Daryl shrugged and continued their march onward. The outcropping looked down towards the road they used to reach the campground. It would be the perfect lookout if it didn't take so long to go between the two. Rick plopped down on the edge turning his head to watch the slowly setting sun. Daryl however checked the forest from their vantage point. He couldn't see, hear, or smell anything out of the ordinary but the campsite was on more of a hill than he'd initially realized. They wouldn't be able to light the main campfire tonight. It would be a cold long night that everyone might just end up sleeping in their cars, Daryl thought. "You can relax." Rick called from the ground.
"That's funny considerin' how we just barely got out of there." Daryl rolled his eyes at his leader. Rick sighed.
"We got out didn't we? Don't tell me how mad you are too."
"I'm not mad."
"But you aren't looking at me either." Daryl sighed and turned to face his leader. Rick smiled and patted the ground next to him. Daryl plunked down and cracked some of the tension out of his muscles. Rick kept glancing at Daryl as he twitched with nerves, which only made him twitch more. "I got something for you." Rick said pulling his bag closer. He set it between them. Daryl opened the top and peered inside. Looking up at him were books. His books. "I'm not sure I got them all." Daryl pulled one out and rapturously ran his fingers over the spine. "But I grabbed as many as I could. Lucky you hadn't really unpacked many of them." Rick smiled at the hunter's shocked expression.
"Is this why ya were late getting' in the car?" Daryl whispered. Rick nodded. "Ya risked yer life for books?" Daryl gasped which Rick returned with a puzzled look.
"A few seconds doesn't really matter."
"It does! If ya had died gettin' these!" Daryl gestured to the bag. "That woulda kill us! It woulda killed me!"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. But I had to get them."
"Ya don' look very apologetic." Rick glared stubbornly ahead. Daryl sighed realizing he'd upset the man. "Thanks for getting' them." Daryl whispered to which Rick brightened considerably. He grinned at Daryl openly as he looked at the hunter. "Though don' do anythin' so reckless again." Rick shrugged.
"No promises."
"Are ya tryin' to make my job harder?"
"Got to give you some reason to stay close to me." Daryl blushed at his words.
"Not goin' anywhere." He mumbled. "Why'd ya get them anyway?" Daryl shifted the subject before Rick could make a big deal on his words.
"Because they're yours." Daryl snorted.
"Seems like a stupid reason to go back for them."
"Haven't you ever done something because it mattered to someone else? Because you wanted to help someone even if it didn't gain you anything?" Daryl didn't respond and instead stared off into the orange and pink on the horizon. The sun starting to dip under the trees. "You helped us." Rick sighed.
"What?"
"In Atlanta, at the farm, this winter. You've helped this group out lots of times. Even though there wasn't anything in it for you. You put yourself in danger countless times to help the group. Don't act like you don't remember." Daryl shrugged.
"I think ya are over exaggeratin' my actions. I just do the stuff that needs to be done." Rick smiled softly, his eyes gentle as he stared at Daryl. He rested his cheek on his hand as he continued to talk to him.
"That's something I've always liked about you." Daryl quirked an eyebrow. "You don't do things with ulterior motives. So many people only do things with thoughts of how it will benefit them. How they can gain from the favors they do for others. But that's not the kind of man you are."
"My family would be disgusted to hear ya describe me like that." Daryl mumbled.
"I imagine your family would fit in this world very well." Daryl shrugged.
"Maybe."
"It's not a bad thing to help people in need you know."
"I don' think we can trust anyone who needs help anymore." Daryl bit his lip.
"Then you're ready to cut off anyone who needs help?" Rick seemed a little shocked by Daryl's blunt words.
"Don' know, maybe?" Daryl shifted his legs. "Remember Randall? His group probably needed help with food and such. But they also woulda killed us to get our supplies." Rick sighed. He closed his eyes, looking troubled and weary of the world.
"I know that things are different." Rick mumbled as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "That the next group we come across could very well want to kill us. But what if we can get along? What if we assume we can't work out an agreement and kill them only to find out we judged them wrong and could have gotten along? Wouldn't more people make our group stronger?" Daryl shrugged when Rick's blue eyes peeked up at him.
"Depends. Someone could be an asset but at the same time they could be a drain on resources."
Shane said it all comes down to math. That the individual members of the group only matter as long as they don't drag the rest of us down. It seemed so cruel and sociopathic to me at the time. But maybe he was right. Maybe he realized the reality of this world sooner." Rick's eyes were hollow and his body looked defeated.
"Ya shouldn' think like that." Rick turned his gaze to Daryl. There was a small spark of hope in his eyes. "Instead of how someone is costin' supplies ya should come up with solutions for providin' enough for ever'one. That kind of thinkin' cuts ya off from ever'one. I'd rather work harder than start decidin' who in our group doesn' fit the equation." Rick smiled.
"Yeah, I agree. I just…" Rick sighed. "Needed to hear you say it." Daryl gave a half smirk to Rick.
"Weirdo." He dug through his bags of books looking for one in particular. "Here maybe this will help ya." He handed the book to Rick.
"The success principles? Thanks." Rick rolled his eyes.
"Might help ya." Daryl chuckled.
"Wish I'd left this one behind." Rick grinned back.
"No way! How could ya know how to brin' positivity into yer life?"
"Well according to this I need to build and maintain relationships even if I don't have world class relationship skills." Rick said flipping through the book.
"That's the ticket. Wonder if we can think positively and will those walkers away." Rick chuckled.
"That's what this world needs, a self-help book that teaches you how to get rid of walkers."
"Sounds more like a bullet to me."
"Yeah well I'm glad that this gem will stay safe in your hands regardless." Rick handed the book back to Daryl.
"Yeah… me too. Thank you again." Daryl whispered. Rick nodded.
"I told they're yours. Which means they matter to me."
"Ha why? Cause I matter to you? Cause ya have a crush on me?" Daryl joked grinning at Rick. When the silence continued Daryl's smile faltered. Rick wasn't looking at him. Instead he was busying himself by playing with rocks on the ground. "Ya don' right?" Daryl chuckled halfheartedly.
"What do you care if I do or don't?" Rick mumbled. "Is it so hard to believe that I care about you?" Rick spat out.
"Um a little?" Daryl felt his face flush. "I mean we've known each other for less than a year." Daryl tried to explain the stupidity of caring about him, about a Dixon. Nothing good ever came to people who cared for Dixon's.
"So? That doesn't matter. Time doesn't matter when you care about people. Time just makes you care more about the people close to you." Rick turned his intense powerful blue gaze onto Daryl. "Do you not consider us friends? I mean don't you get worried about the group's safety?"
"Sure." Daryl nodded.
"Then why is it so hard for you to believe that we care for you in return? That I care about you?" Rick sighed his whole body sagging. "When I saw that walker on you… It felt like my heart stopped. That's why I used my gun. Because I couldn't think. I didn't think about the sound or other walkers. All I could see in front of me was you pinned under that walker. I was terrified you were dead or bitten. The thought of you dying…" Rick shook his head. His hands were trembling as he clutched his arms.
"Lucky you were there huh?" Daryl tried to smile to reassure the other man but Rick didn't seem consoled in the least by Daryl's words. "Look I'm okay. We got out alright didn' we?" Rick nodded. "Then there's no reason to beat yerself up." Daryl tried to smile but it fell off as soon as he saw Rick's eyes. They looked different than he'd ever seen them. They were darker not the light sky blue Daryl was used to, it was closer to the sky as night started to fall. More cobalt in color than light blue. Rick stood up suddenly making Daryl jump up in response. The feeling of someone towering over him never sat well with the hunter.
"That walker on you made me realize something. Or rather reminded me that this world is so unstable and uncertain." Rick licked his lips and took a step closer. Daryl held his ground despite the pounding in his heart. His blood was rushing through his body at an accelerated rate. "Daryl I don't know how to say this in a way that makes sense to you." Rick struggled with his words. Uncertainty laced with everything he said. "To be honest I'm not sure how to admit any of this to myself. This whole thing is completely new to me." Rick swallowed heavily.
He couldn't seem to keep his on Daryl. This made the nervous twitches come to Daryl tenfold. He had to exert real effort to keep his limbs from twitching or worse pace while Rick struggled with whatever he was trying to say. Rick took a deep breath and collected himself. "Daryl." He whispered opening his eyes. They were closer to his normal color, Daryl noted.
Rick didn't move his eyes from Daryl's when he reached forward and took the man's right hand with his left. Daryl glanced at their hands as Rick worked his fingers in-between Daryl's The contrast between their hands was almost startling to the hunter. Even after all the hardship of the last year, Rick's hands still felt smooth and were largely unmarred by scars. While Daryl's in contrast were severely calloused from the years of living in harsh conditions. They were equally scared by the painful life he had led, before and after the world's end.
Daryl felt the warmth created between their hands. Normally he thought his hands were too warm, almost burning in their heat but Rick didn't seem to mind at all. In fact the heat seemed to draw him in more. Rick squeezed Daryl's hand with his own. Daryl kept marveling at the differences between the two lives they had both lived. "Does this bother you?" Rick asked softly his eyes watching Daryl closely like he thought there was something to be decoded in his eyes. Daryl shook his head when his mouth refused to open.
Daryl could feel his cheeks burn but he didn't understand why. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion. He could feel each breath he took. Each subconscious squeeze from Rick's hand. Rick inched closer. They were so close Daryl could feel the breath coming from Rick. Daryl inhaled and could smell the scent that was distinctly Rick's.
He smelled like a warm summer day and the clean smell of a river deep in the woods near Daryl's childhood home. The scent was almost overwhelming. Rick smelled like the woods, like a mixture of safety and home. "Daryl?"
"Hm?" Daryl was too busy watching the way Rick's lips moved when he talked to really respond. The way Rick licked the top lip than the bottom one when he was nervous.
"I want you to know that I care about you. So please forgive me for this."
"For what?" Daryl started before he could get the t out of his mouth, his lips were sealed. Rick's hand squeezed tightly as his lips crashed over Daryl's. Daryl felt a full body tingle race through his body like had been struck by a bolt of lightning. His heart pounded and stuttered to a stop all at the same time. Daryl tried to catch up with the flow of time but he seemed out of sync. He didn't even feel connected to his body.
Rick's eyes were pinched shut. Daryl followed his lead and let his eyes drift shut. He let himself drift in the moment as he struggled to catch up. When Rick's right hand found his neck Daryl jumped slightly. His heart felt like it was burning up. He felt like he was burning. But he couldn't say he disliked the burning electric feeling racing through his body.
It had been too long since he felt any kind of physical attention like this and for the moment he was content to just exist in the physical feelings. Not dwelling on the mental or emotional blow back that was sure to follow this moment. He allowed himself to just feel the pressure of Rick's lips on his. The physical tingles that their proximity created in him.
Rick pressed closer, their bodies almost touching. Rick's fingers touched the back of Daryl's neck softly. Slowly moving through his hair. The soft pressure on his neck made Daryl's eyes flutter with a barely restrained moan. Daryl squeezed Rick's hand tightly in response. Not sure what else he could do. Not sure if he should be pulling, Rick closer or shove him away. Rick shifted his mouth to deepen their kiss when Daryl heard Merle's voice yell in his ears.
"You goddamn gay fag!"
"I'm gonna kill you now boy. No place in the Dixon's for an unnatural bitch like ya." His father's fingers dug into his mind. The yells and hisses of his father and brother grew until Daryl couldn't breathe. His eyes snapped open and he shoved Rick back with everything he had. The officer stumbled looking beyond confused and hurt. His blue eyes were flickering with betrayal and anguish.
Daryl's mind felt like it was swimming, like he was drowning and couldn't get enough air. His father's cold fingers wrapped around Daryl's throat and started to crush his windpipe.
"Daryl?" Rick whispered, his hands open trying to show him he meant no harm. Rick's eyes were concerned even scared.
"Him!" Merle hissed. "Kill him!" Daryl couldn't tell if Merle was talking to him or his father. Daryl's only thoughts was that of escape. From his father, brother, and Rick. He stumbled backwards once nearly tripping over his own feet before taking off sprinting as far from Rick as he could get.
"Daryl!" Rick yelled after him. "Daryl come back!" Rick's voice trialed after him. Long after the hunter left the range of the man's voice. Daryl only came to a stop when his muscle felt like they would collapse if he kept running. His body trembled from exhaustion and overexertion.
"Can' go back." Daryl murmured to himself. The voices of his father and brother were still howling in his mind. Until they quieted down he couldn't trust himself around the others. But more than that he didn't want to see Rick. Couldn't. His mind and body were still in major disconnect. Daryl's body was still tingling with the pleasure from physical contact. His mind suffering in misery from the voices of his family. His heart, Daryl didn't know what to focus on in his heart. Confusion, fear, excitement, hope, respect, sadness and so many other struggling emotions all fighting for the spotlight in his emotional breakdown. The whole thing left him feeling fatigued.
Daryl looked at the tree in front of him. A place to rest, to escape he thought, that's what he needed. Daryl quickly clambered up the limbs. By the time he settled he was over twenty feet off the ground. He curled up on the branch hoping the problems on the ground wouldn't follow him. He had no such lucky. The burning question of what had happened left a smoldering fire in his mind. What had suddenly changed between the two of them? More importantly, how did this change fit into Daryl's life now? How did he fit with this change? Could he even fit in some way or another besides Rick? Or was he going to be left behind again, like always?
So once again sorry this took so long. I've been working on this story during different classes (bad student) but it took longer than I thought it would. Mostly because the kiss scene! Took forever to get it just the way I wanted it. I mean it's been built up for so long I wanted it to really work. Hopefully it did! I'd love to hear what you guys think! Let me know if you enjoyed it!
In other news I don't usually suggest songs for stories (mostly because I feel each reader creates their own tone by their personal preferences towards stories) but I thought I'd at least mention this one because a huge part of this chapter was done while listening to the song. It's Tightrope by Walk the Moon. For some reason this song screams Rick and Daryl. (or maybe that's just me over romanticizing everything again.)
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Review if you have time. And a major thank you to everyone who's reviewed, followed, and added this story to their favorites! Makes my day! In fact that's why I stayed up pretty late to finish this chapter and edit it so it would be out first thing rather than late tomorrow. Anyway see you all next chapter! Thanks again!
