Daryl's lips felt chapped and cracked to the point of bleeding. He'd tried to run his tongue over the painful broken surface but that only seemed to dry his lips out more. The constant nervous chewing wrecked further havoc on his mouth. Rick had tried to help by finding him some chap stick a few days ago. Only the flavor Rick gave him was one called berry blushing sweet sugar. Daryl responded by chucking it at Rick's head. Yelling that he wasn't a goddamn girl before storming off.
It had been nearly a week and a half since he and Rick entered their whatever they were in. The warm feeling had worn off only to be replaced with worry, annoyance, and an ever persistent sense of dread that boiled low in Daryl's gut. Rick had become almost exceedingly attached, no it was more like he was overly concerned with Daryl's wellbeing. If he had a sore muscle, Rick would notice and waste precious medical supplies on him. If he had trouble sleeping Rick noticed and would keep him at the house so he could get his 'rest.' If he didn't eat enough (according to Rick) he'd find almost double portions on his plate at the next meal.
The whole thing was driving Daryl up the wall. He wasn't used to the extra attention or the concern. The obvious consideration Rick paid him was almost killing him. He was used to spending a few pleasant nights with someone but having them give less than two shits about him the next morning. He and Rick hadn't really done anything either. Outside of a make out and talk (lots of talking) yet Rick kept treating Daryl like he was married to him. He couldn't comprehend whatever thoughts were going around in Rick's head. Daryl felt like he was suffocating at times with the way Rick's smoldering gaze would follow him. It felt like constantly being under a microscope. Daryl couldn't stand it. He almost started resorting to hiding in the woods, but couldn't quite bring himself to run off.
The situation left Daryl feeling irritable and confused. But every time he thought about bringing it up with Rick the man would give him this simple easy, almost blindingly happy smile. It made it impossible to talk to Rick about the things that was bothering him. The one time Daryl almost managed to tell Rick he got so tongue tied he could barely say his own name. Daryl couldn't figure out if it was the constant watching, or the overly considerate nature of Rick that bothered him the most. But perhaps it was the relentless physical contact between them that was really starting to bother him. It made Daryl's whole body overly sensitive like it had been washed in acid leaving fresh skin that had no callous to protect against the roughness of the world.
The more Rick touched him the more Daryl realized he couldn't escape the knowledge that Rick could do so much better than him. The knowledge that he had no right to be at Rick's side ate away at him. He wanted to pull away from the whole thing but Rick was oblivious to his feelings and wouldn't let him go.
Daryl closed his eyes. He was resting against a rock near a stream he'd found a few miles away from the house. Though if he was honest it was hardly worthy of the name stream. The tiny trickle of water looked like someone had left their sprinklers on overnight and created this running water. But regardless of the size it was enough to settle his nerves and allow him to not think of anything. It was working to clear his mind of all the annoyances, worries, fears, and multitude of other emotions Rick had set ablaze in him. A twig snapped behind him jerking Daryl from his feeling of nothingness. He gripped the knife at his hip listening to the sounds around him. He ignored the stream and could hear the soft footsteps and even breathing getting closer to his hiding spot. When the person was a few feet from him Daryl slowly unclenched the blade and slid it back into its sheath.
"Daryl?" Rick smiled as he stepped around the rock. Rick automatically took a seat besides the hunter. Without thinking, Daryl moved his hand closer to Rick's side. Rick reached for it and smiled as he weaved their fingers together. It was only after Daryl felt Rick give him a light squeeze that he realized what he'd done. He'd not given any thought about giving Rick his hand, he hadn't considered the dangers that could come with allowing anyone to touch him. This disturbed Daryl deeply. He felt like he was unable to defend himself against Rick, should the man decide to put Daryl in his place. If Rick decided the only response to Daryl was violence (like most people eventually realized), he would never see it coming.
"Would be easier than shootin' fish in a barrel." Merle whispered pointing out his blind spots when it came to Rick. Rick wouldn't even have to work at putting Daryl down, not with the way he'd been acting around Rick lately.
"I had a feeling I'd find you out here." Rick titled his head to look at Daryl out of the corner of his eye. Daryl grunted in response. Not really trusting himself to speak just yet. "The weather's getting nicer huh?" Rick mused staring at the world around them. The trees were slowly starting to bud and the sun finally started to warm the ground enough that Daryl could easily sleep outside with only the added warmth his poncho provided.
Silence filled the air between them. Which Daryl was fine with, he still hadn't gotten used to talking to Rick at length. He tended to get lost in his own head. While Rick seemed to have no problem filling the air between them. He seemed almost uncomfortable with the silence at times. The complete opposite of Daryl. But unlike Daryl Rick never got tongue tied, lost, or confused with his own words. He had a way of speaking that Daryl could listen to for hours. The man had a way with words and stories that felt like he was trying to drag Daryl into the memories of his past. Almost like he was trying to bring Daryl back in time by giving him the feelings and thoughts Rick had had at the time.
Daryl found it strangely relaxing to just sit and listen. But often Rick wanted to know more about Daryl himself after he had finished whatever particular story he wanted to share with the hunter. Daryl realized quickly he wasn't able to compete with Rick's memories. Hell even their memories had such vast differences in their nature. Rick's memories were often filled with joy, wonder, excitement, and love. Daryl in contrast found himself constantly changing or editing his memories. He realized that his life was closer to a child living in the poverty-stricken Depression era when compared to Rick's idyllic life. "You okay?" Rick asked interrupting Daryl's thoughts. He nodded. "You seem really quiet today." Rick whispered running his thumb in small circles on the back of Daryl's hand. A small shiver went through Daryl at the electric feeling Rick created. "Do you want to talk?" Rick's blue eyes turned to him trying to read his emotions. Daryl turned away quickly not wanting Rick to read anything in his face.
"Nah." Daryl mumbled. "Just need to work through some stuff." He couldn't bring himself to ruin Rick's obvious good mood. The man had enough stress in his life. The last thing he needed was Daryl complaining about something he agreed to in the first place.
"You sure?" Rick pressed he wasn't staring at Daryl anymore but he sounded uncertain like he wanted to press the subject but didn't know how. When Daryl didn't respond Rick gave a nervous low chuckle. "Want to make out?" He half smirked in Daryl's direction. "God I sound like a horny teenager." Rick laughed. "It seems like that's all we do lately." Rick wasn't wrong. That's part of where Daryl's sore and chapped lips came from. The excessive biting was all him but the being constantly pushed against the nearest surface to find his lips claimed by Rick's possessive ones probably wasn't helping much.
Daryl worried the middle of his lip that had split open rather viciously the other night. The coppery taste of blood still fresh in the painful rip. Every movement of his tongue against his lip made the wound throb but he couldn't leave it alone. The disastrous state of his mind wouldn't allow him to focus on such minor concerns.
Rick however did seem to be able to worry about such petty concerns instead of the larger problems facing them on a daily basis. "Don't do that." He mumbled taking Daryl's chin in his large hand. Rick's thumb traced over Daryl's lip gently. He eased the pressure the pad of his thumb created on Daryl's lips, every time he came across an open cut. "Have you been using any chap stick?" Rick asked his eyes shifting away from the steady gaze he held on Daryl's lips earlier. Daryl shrugged his shoulders but Rick wouldn't let him pull his jaw away from him. "It must hurt." Rick murmured looking back to Daryl's cracked lips. "Have you been worried about something?" Rick continued to run his thumb across Daryl's lips leaving Daryl to struggle and try to suppress the shivers Rick's touch caused to run through his body. Daryl barely managed to give a shrug when Rick looked hard at him clearly waiting for an answer from the hunter.
"No. Nothin' outside the normal stuff." Daryl mumbled, a lie but he didn't want a repeat of the last time he tried to explain himself. Rick didn't seem satisfied with the answer but didn't quite know how to push the issue farther. He released Daryl's jaw finally (which Daryl resisted massaging the blood back into circulation) and sighed deeply before he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Want to do something?" Daryl scoffed through his nose. Rick chuckled softly. "That came out dirtier than I meant. Honestly. I was talking about hunting or going on a run." Daryl closed his eyes for a moment taking a mental count of their supplies. The last few days had been pretty boring due to the well-stocked mom and pop store they'd come across.
Guess people weren't thinking of small stores as having enough to provide for them long term when the world was dying around them. The meat was still keeping pretty well thanks to the drying they'd done on it. Leaving Daryl with little to do. There was actually a thing as having too much food in this world. Without fridges or freezers the shelf life of their meals was significantly less.
Maybe that's why Rick had spent the last few days attacking Daryl every chance he got, he was bored. No attacking wasn't the right word, Daryl thought. Attacking felt like Daryl didn't want it too, which wasn't accurate. He enjoyed the times they had together, just the two of them. Despite all the emotional noise he got after they separated for the night.
"No need." Daryl mumbled when he felt Rick's eyes on him. "We're good on food for a while." Rick nodded but he looked a little disappointed. Maybe boredom really was eating away at the man. Daryl would be lying if he said he wasn't bored too but on the flip side he'd rather he bored than have the group starving to death or worse under attack from walkers.
"Well I guess I could make my question earlier dirty again." Rick chuckled. Daryl's lips ached at the thought but his heart skipped with excitement.
"Is that what ya want? To do stuff?" Daryl almost rolled his eyes at the euphemism. Talk about awkward foreplay.
"We have been doing nothing but make out for a while now."
"How long do ya usually consider a while?" Daryl grumbled under his breath.
"Okay that's fair. I've been too busy thinking about how easy it is to die now to really think about taking things slowly." Rick sighed, Daryl wanted to smash his head against a wall. Things felt so reversed. Daryl was struggling to keep up. Normally it was Daryl who was telling his one nightstand to take their clothes off. Of course normally he was in a shitty hotel room where the lock didn't work completely and a full bottle (or three) of whiskey slushing through his blood.
God what he wouldn't do for a drink now. Daryl thought rubbing his temple. Alcohol would make this whole….whatever easier. Or at least it would make these awkward moments they seemed perpetually stuck in move by faster.
What the hell, Daryl decided. Rick was right, the possibility of them dying was high, too high. Why wait at this point? Daryl knew he was avoiding the things that were bothering him about their relationship. But he could deal with that later.
"Like ya haven' said that before." Merle hissed in his ear. Daryl grabbed a handful of Rick's shirt and pulled him forward. Daryl crushed his lips against Rick's. Rick moaned happily as he pressed closer to Daryl.
Rick ran his hand over Daryl's back. He trembled every time the man's warm fingers brushed against his scars. The damaged skin instantly growing sensitive and almost like it was burning under Rick's touch. The skin felt like it had just been freshly broken and was still bloody and raw. But when Rick traced the parts of his skin that wasn't covered in scars it sent bolts of electricity to his toes. Daryl couldn't breathe as Rick's tongue pressed against his throat. Daryl's lip split in another area as he bit down sharply to stop himself from moaning aloud. Rick held onto Daryl tightly like he was scared the hunter would flee if he let go. Daryl doubted he could even remember how to stand let alone run. Rick nipped at Daryl's ear.
"Maybe I should talk dirty more often." Rick whispered hotly in Daryl's ear.
"When did ya talk dirty, exactly?" Daryl growled back his hands pushing Rick's shirt up, giving him access to the strong muscles on Rick's stomach. He ran his fingers lightly across Rick's chest, who shivered in response.
"Please. You know, the whole weather's getting better, that was total dirty talk." Daryl rolled his eyes and snorted.
"Oh yeah, warm weather gets me all hot and bothered. But actually talking about it? Oh man you might have done the dirtiest talk ever. Might as well throw me down on the ground because I'm way too horny to think when you talk about the weather." Rick laughed breathlessly.
"I'll work on my weather related dirty talk for next time."
"I'll get ya a book." Daryl teased back as Rick worked his hands to Daryl's hips. His warm calloused fingers ran over the hunter's hipbones excitedly.
"You have books on dirty talk?"
"I have a book called The Snuggie Sutra." Rick laughed in Daryl's ear. He decided he loved the sound of Rick happy. It sent his head spinning. Any problems always seemed to faded in the face of Rick's joy. Everything was replaced with a simple bliss that made Daryl's whole chest warm and melt. The man's glee was almost infectious.
"I want that book. You'll have to lend it to me." Daryl smiled and held Rick tightly. He whispered in the man's ear.
"How 'bout I give it to ya? It'll be a present." Daryl followed his words with a quick suck on the man's earlobe. Rick trembled.
"You're too good to me." He moaned hotly. "So you said we've only been making out lately huh?" Daryl nodded but couldn't find his voice too busy listening to the pounding in his chest. "How's this for a change?" Rick grinned. Daryl glared and opened his mouth to respond. Rick cut him short by latching his teeth onto Daryl's neck. At the same time his hands drifted down Daryl's chest, slowly tracing his legs and stroking the inner part of Daryl's thighs. Even through his jeans Daryl could feel Rick's hands moving in painfully slow circles, teasing him. Rick refused to put his hands anywhere near where Daryl really wanted them to go. Rick's lips formed a smile on his throat.
"Asshole." Daryl hissed as his pulse raced around Rick's mouth and tongue. He sucked air in as Rick continued to move his hands and bit on Daryl's throat before licking the same spot. Rick chuckled deep and throatily. Daryl growing tired of feeling like he was the only one out of control grabbed a handful of Rick's hair and yanked him back. Rick quirked an eyebrow. His eyes bright with lust. He was panting slightly, matching Daryl's own harsh breathing. Daryl needing a moment to catch his breath, moved his hand over Rick's cheek. The man smiled gently and pressed his face into Daryl's warm palm. The stubble ticked him slightly. Strange, whenever their lips were locked Daryl never noticed the stubble on Rick's cheeks even though it should be all the more obvious.
He pondered the difference between the situations as his thumb wandered the officer's cheek. Rick's eyes drifted shut as Daryl continued moving his thumb absentmindedly. Daryl brought his left hand up and ran it through Rick's hair. It had grown longer than it had been the first time they met The vast differences in losing simple little things like haircuts was still surprising to Daryl.
He knew his own hair was growing longer and darker as he spent more time outside. But Rick's hair had started to grow out with a natural curl to it. Despite their infrequent bathing habits Rick's hair still looked pretty clean and overall well maintained. In a strong contrast to Daryl's which was unruly even before the world ended. Either that or he never had the patience to fuss with it long enough to figure out how to make it obey him.
"Having fun?" Rick mumbled, his breathing had returned to normal and he seemed relaxed. The switch between the biting and sucking to content didn't seem to bother the officer one bit. Daryl however could still feel his heart pounding and his blood was racing in a direction he wished it wouldn't. Rick had a small smirk that matched the mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes. He continued to run his hands around Daryl's thighs but slower and less aggressive than before.
"Hm." Daryl murmured. Rick's hands weren't helping him much but they weren't hurting either. In fact he seemed to be trying to rub blood back into his legs rather than redirecting the flow of his blood like before. "Upset ya aren' in control?" He teased trying to distract himself from the heat low in his belly. Rick shrugged in response.
"I don't mind letting you be in control." Rick looked up at him through his eyelashes. The look of utter trust and absolute respect reflected in his eyes made Daryl's heart tremble. The look shook him to his core. Rick's hand rested on top of Daryl's. He locked his gaze with the man in front of him. He waited a moment before pressing their foreheads together. Rick's free hand moved to the back of Daryl's neck. He started to run his fingers through the thin strands of hair. Daryl shivered slightly at the sensation.
"Never thought ya would give up control. Sorta the point ya made after the farm wasn' it?"
"Mm." Rick mumbled as he worked the tense muscles on the hunter's neck. "Only for you. If you were in charge, I wouldn't have to worry. You'd make sure everyone was safe."
"I'd rather not run stuff, thanks." Daryl managed to find his brain long enough to say that. Rick's hands had a way of melting all conscious thought from his mind.
"Then just with me?" Rick whispered against his temple. Daryl didn't know how to answer that. Did he want to be in control? Honestly, he'd never been comfortable being in charge of anyone outside of himself. He'd never been trusted to be in charge even as a child.
"I…" Daryl paused and worried his lip. Rick gripped the back of Daryl's neck tightly.
"Don't. You'll make it worse." Rick scolded. Daryl quirked an eyebrow at the man's expression.
"Why? Worried about not bein' able to make out?" Rick gave a soft laugh.
"Nah I'd probably make out with you anyway. I'd just prefer your lips to not be in pain after." Daryl snorted. Rick moved his fingers back to Daryl's hair. "Your hair is so soft."
"What?" Daryl gave an awkward laugh.
"Your hair. It's soft."
"Are yer fingers numb?"
"What no. Is that a joke?" Rick asked perplexed.
"My hair is anythin' but soft. Greasy, dirty, grimy would be better ways to describe it." Rick shook his head.
"No way. Lori's hair is getting greasy. Yours is soft." Rick ran his hand over the sides of Daryl's head; he entangled his fingers in the hunter's hair. "See? Soft." Rick smiled gently.
"Yer nuts." Daryl shook his head.
"Maybe." Rick sighed deeply after he ran his fingers through Daryl's hair a few more times. "We should probably start heading back." Daryl shrugged, things were going well today he didn't see the point in ruining such a rare and peaceful day just yet. Rick however seemed to think otherwise, he gave Daryl's leg a quick pat before standing and facing the hunter still seated on the ground.
"We could just stay out here if ya want." Rick smiled sadly. He looked like he wanted to just spend the day with Daryl but the way his eyes had changed colors alerted Daryl to Rick's feelings of obligation to the group.
"I wish we could, but Lori was looking for me a while ago and Hershel had a question for you."
"What? Why didn' ya say somethin' earlier?"
"Cause Hershel said he could wait until you got back." Daryl stared up at Rick incredulously.
"That's not what I'm talkin' 'bout. Yer wife was lookin' for ya, yet yer out here?" Rick looked completely unfazed by Daryl's words. He had the look that said Lori wasn't his wife but instead some lady in town he'd met once at a soccer game. Like he knew who she was but didn't care about her one way other another.
"I'd rather be out here with you, than in the house with her." Rick said softly. His eyes were full of longing and pain. Daryl wanted to feel bad for Rick and he did but at the same time Daryl knew that if he let Rick spend the rest of the day out here instead of with is family they would both regret it later. Rick especially. Plus the fact that Daryl was technically allowing Rick to cheat on Lori with him still bothered the hunter.
It seemed so unfair to Lori. Even though Rick said several times they weren't really together anymore and that did seem to be true. Rick didn't let Lori touch him. Hell he barely seemed to be capable of being in the same room as her. But still Daryl couldn't help but feel like he was creating a wedge between Rick and his family. That was something Daryl never wanted to do.
He stood up and started to walk towards the house.
"Come on. We're going back." Daryl said harshly, leaving no room for discussion. Rick's eyes reflected his disappointment and sadness at Daryl's harsh words but he obediently followed behind though rather slowly. When the house was in view on the horizon Rick finally spoke up.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled. Daryl paused and glanced behind him. "I put you in an awkward position didn't I?" Daryl sighed. Rick had the look like a child did when they realized they'd done wrong and had upset their parents. It wasn't a look Daryl usually had when he was a child, but plenty of children had that same expression when they told their parents that they weren't really friends with him.
"Look…Let's just drop it and get back." Rick didn't seem very pleased with Daryl's compromise. In fact he looked even more upset. Daryl didn't know how to explain to Rick that he couldn't just let the man run away from his responsibilities especially if it was to spend time with him. It just wasn't in Daryl. Daryl started moving back towards the house until Rick's hand grabbed his wrist tightly. The hunter turned prepared to tell the man off but he wasn't prepared for Rick's lips to slam into his.
Daryl froze uncertain how to react while Rick pressed closer. He moved to deepen their kiss. Rick's tongue pressed against Daryl's lips. He knew he should be forcing Rick into the house but Daryl decided one more minute wouldn't kill them. Even better it might get Rick in the house without fuss. Daryl gripped the back of Rick's neck and opened his mouth slightly. Rick squeezed his wrist before slipping his tongue inside of Daryl's mouth. Daryl had no intention of letting Rick control this and he pushed his tongue against Rick's, fighting him for dominance. At first Rick seemed surprised by the move but judging by the tightening of his hand he quickly grew to enjoy their little fight. The wrestled their tongues together each fighting for control neither giving an inch to the other. It was Daryl's kind of kiss none of that soft chaste shit you see in movies. This was how real kisses felt powerful and passionate.
Daryl wanted to keep this going but he knew Rick wouldn't separate first and despite the pleasurable bubble in his brain, Daryl had a responsibility to the group and so did Rick. Daryl pushed against Rick's shoulders making the man take a step back. Rick groaned softly clearly displeased that they'd finished so quickly. "We have stuff to do." He reminded Rick.
"Yeah." Rick sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry." Daryl shrugged.
"It's fine."
"No really I am. You shouldn't have to be reminding me to act like an adult." Rick looked embarrassed at his own words. Daryl grinned.
"As long as I don' have to read ya a bedtime story and get ya a teddy bear I think we're good." Rick laughed deeply.
"The only book I'd have you read me is that Snuggie Sutra you were talking about." Rick teased and grinned back.
"Somethin' tells me it probably doesn' make the best bedtime story."
"Depends on the kind of bedtime you're intending on having." Rick shrugged.
"I'll give you that." Daryl smirked.
"Seriously though." Rick said growing sober his eyes clear and focused on the goals ahead of him. "Thanks for reminding me I can't just shirk my duties."
"That's what I'm here for, keepin' ya in line and bein' the resident badass."
"Well then mission accomplished." Rick's amusement reached his eyes again as they finished their walk towards the house. At the door to the house they both paused for a moment glancing at each other. They both knew they had to go in and deal with whatever issues arose in their absence but neither wanted to open the door just yet. Rick didn't want to deal with Lori while Daryl just wanted to spend more time in the woods. Rick sighed and slowly opened the door. "Might as well deal with whatever problems arose huh?"
"Yep." Daryl nodded following Rick into the house. Rick paused before leaving the entryway.
"I'll see you later?"
"Sure. I'm not goin' anywhere." Daryl agreed. Rick seemed pleased with this response for he left with a slight smile on his lips. Daryl scratched the side of his neck before heading towards the living room. It wasn't a huge house there was only so many places Hershel could be. Maggie and Glenn were in the room making doe eyes at each other. Daryl grinned slightly watching them trying to organize supplies but kept getting distracted by the presence of the other in the room. The fact that they hadn't already stripped down was impressive. Daryl considered sliding out of the room to allow them to make their 'love you' faces at each other in peace unfortunately Maggie noticed him.
"Daryl!" She cried flushing red.
"Hi!" Glenn said overly excited trying to cover his embarrassment.
"Hey." Daryl mumbled, realizing he'd clearly interrupted their plans to sneak off later. That explained their embarrassment. He cracked his neck hoping to find a good reason to escape from this.
"Oh! My dad was looking for you." Maggie suddenly realized.
"Do ya know where he is?" Daryl figured there couldn't be a better reason to get out of the hormones that the air was practically burning with.
"He went out with T-Dog to check the gas in the cars."
"He needed something from me I think." Daryl said starting for the door.
"Actually he just wanted to ask if you needed these." Maggie redirected him to the table, that had several novels set up neatly. Daryl picked each one up carefully and inspected their spines and the blurbs on the back.
"Where'd he find these?"
"In some of the boxes in the attic. Before we threw them out figured we'd ask our resident bibliophile if they were worth saving." Glenn grinned watching Daryl look at the books.
"A what?"
"And you've just ruined the illusion I created about you." Glenn groaned before sharing a soft laugh with Maggie.
"A bibliophile is a fancy way of saying book collector." Maggie said taking pity on the hunter.
"Couldn' ya have just said a book collector." He grumbled grabbing three of the six books. "Those three are in pretty bad condition and I already have those two. Use them if we need to start a fire."
"Thanks for checking them out!" Maggie called as Daryl left the room. He waved a hand behind him letting them enjoy their time together. Daryl was almost on the way to his room and bag but noticed that Carol was in the kitchen preparing their dinner.
"Need any help?" He asked shifting the books to one hand. Carol looked up her blue eyes were huge and bright with unshed tears. "Ya okay?" Concern filling him at her expression. She looked fragile like she was going to break at any second. It was like the Carol he'd met almost a year ago decided to return, it unsettled the hunter greatly.
"Yeah." She whispered staring out the window. Daryl set the books down and leaned his hip against the counter. He tilted his head towards her, willing to wait until she was ready to talk. Carol laughed softly and sadly. "You're not going to leave are you?"
"Not until yer ready to talk."
"The old you wouldn't even care if something was bothering me." Carol murmured looking at Daryl.
"The old me didn' care 'bout havin' friends. Or 'bout people's problems." Daryl explained feeling like the person he was when they first met wasn't really someone he wanted to be associated with anymore.
"I like the person you are now." Carol whispered taking Daryl's hand gently. She ran her palm over the back of his hand. "You've come a long way from where you started. Don't forget that." Daryl smiled slightly.
"Ya sayin' I wasn' charmin' before?"
"Charming and a little insulting." Carol smiled and Daryl chuckled.
"Ya might be right about that. But only a little." Carol squeezed Daryl's hand before releasing it.
"Thanks for cheering me up." She whispered moving her attention back to the dinner. Daryl nodded and moved to help her. A few minutes passed in silence as they worked. Daryl noticed that Carol kept glancing at him. Finally she sighed and stared determinedly at the trees outside the house. "If I say something will you promise to tell you the truth?"
"Sure unless yer are askin' me what I did before all this." Daryl tried to joke, Carol didn't seem amused by his attempt.
"Daryl promise me?" Her eyes were solemn. Daryl nodded, knowing Carol wasn't in the mood for more jokes. "I'm not sure how to go about this gently. So I'll just come out and ask." Daryl chewed on his lip. It wasn't like Carol to act like this, whatever was bothering her was clearly a big deal. "Daryl…" She locked eyes with him watching his whole face closely. "Are you and Rick in a relationship?" Daryl felt his stomach drop down. His whole body broke in a cold sweat. How?! How did she know? Daryl felt like he was tunneling out. "Daryl?" Carol asked again. "Will you answer the question, please?" Carol wasn't leaving him with an out and no way to escape the room.
"What?" Daryl asked his eyes wide as he continued to search for a way out.
"I saw you two." Carol sighed and turned to him. She put her hands on her hips. She stood in front of Daryl and cut off his access to the exits.
"You what?" He asked shock killing any quick thought process, he may have had earlier.
"Earlier. I saw you two together." When? His mind panicked at the stream or in front of the house? He didn't know which was worse… No the stream would be worse but either way he couldn't hear much outside of the terror screaming in his ears.
"I…" Daryl couldn't find his voice. He couldn't think.
"You're together right?" Carol sighed she seemed to curl in on herself.
"I'm not sure."
"So you just make out with anyone?" Carol asked getting angry. Her eyes slits as her face darkened.
"No!"
"Then you're either together or not!" Carol was fronting on Daryl trying to force him to answer her.
"I think we are. I mean…yeah I guess so." Daryl admitted feeling his face flush. This was the last thing he wanted to be talking about, especially with Carol.
"I think a part of me knew that…I just hoped…" Carol whispered biting her thumb. "I hoped that maybe there would be a possibility that we could…" She trailed off as her eyes got misty. Daryl felt even worse if possible.
"I'm sorry…" He whispered. He'd considered a relationship with Carol at one time. But he realized quickly that Carol was his best friend and he never wanted to do anything that could risk hurting her or her trust. Something that always seemed inevitable to whoever dared to try and date him. But in the end he managed to hurt her anyway. "I…God Carol I'm sorry." Daryl tried to explain himself but failed. Everyone around him seemed to suffer from being around him. Carol shook her head and wiped quickly across her eyes.
"No it's okay. I mean I never said anything…" Carol gave a small forced smile. "It's okay really Daryl." She whispered touching his arm gently. "Don't look like that. You didn't do anything wrong." Daryl looked down still feeling like he'd hurt her again. "Daryl?" She said taking his chin in her hands. "It's okay really. I mean he makes you happy right?" Daryl thought about that. Did Rick make him happy? Sure but the whole group made him happier than he'd been in most of his life.
But did Rick alone make him happy? He made Daryl stressed, worried, scared, and nervous. But he also made him excited and relaxed. Being with Rick made his chest feel like it was breaking. Like his whole body was being broken slowly starting from the edges and working into his core. However Rick also made Daryl feel like he was being repaired. Like Rick was healing the wounds Daryl had lived with his whole life. Rick made him feel whole but still broken all at the same time.
Was that happiness? He wasn't sure but he was sure he didn't want to end their relationship at least not yet. He suspected they're relationship would end eventually but just for a little longer Daryl wanted to be selfish and continue having a small piece of Rick all to himself. Just for a little longer.
"…yes. I mean… I think so. Yeah. Yeah he does." Daryl felt his cheeks flush as he stumbled over his words. How could he explain Rick and how he made him feel? He was still trying to work through that himself.
"Then that's all that matters." Carol moved forward and wrapped her thin arms around Daryl's back. "You're my friend. You deserve to be happy, really you do." Carol hugged him tightly. "If he makes you happy then that's all that matters."
"Ya sure?" Daryl mumbled nervously putting his arms around her too. Carol nodded.
"Yes, though if he hurts you I'll kill him." Daryl chuckled at Carol's words. "I wasn't kidding." She said softly, Daryl chuckled even more.
"Remind me not to get on yer bad side." Carol released him and smiled broadly.
"So let's talk, when did it start?" Daryl sighed and rested against the counter.
"Goin' to be like that is it?" Carol nodded. "Alright fine. I guess, as long as you don' write to some walker tabloid." The pair shared a laugh before Daryl started explaining everything that had happened the last few weeks. For once Daryl felt like things would actually be okay. Carol's soft smile and accepting nods to him, helped Daryl feel like maybe it was alright for him to be happy.
For him to be with Rick. The hope that maybe it was okay started to grow in his chest. Daryl allowed the feeling to take root inside of him while he ignored the voice in the back of his mind whispering that he could never be happy. That happiness and Dixon just didn't mix. Like oil and fire. Explosive mixture with Daryl right in the middle.
Wow! It has been forever since I've posted anything. I feel terrible about that. I'm sorry. Life got in the way and if I were really superstitious I'd say 13 is my unlucky number. But if I'm honest it was cause I've been stressing over the parts of this chapter that is getting closer to smut. I did my best to get it just right. Still not sure if it's perfect. I hope it's okay...*crosses fingers* I'm working my way towards the smut. Promise but I'm still super nervous about posting it. It'll be the first time I've ever put something like that up publicly. So like I said...nervous.
Anyway I wanted to get this up before episode 2 comes out! Very exciting! Hopefully everyone has been enjoying it! Thanks for reading! If you have time review let me know what you think! It really helps me know if I'm doing a good job with this story or not. See you next chapter!
