"We have got to stop doing this." Daryl mumbled. Rick moaned clearly ignoring Daryl. The hunter resisted the urge to roll his eyes when Rick slid his leg in-between Daryl's locking him against the tree. Rick's hands started to trace his hips and back slowly moving in sync with his lips which kept sucking at tender spots on Daryl's neck. Daryl could barely keep his eyes open. He couldn't process the onslaught of sensations he was getting from Rick's attention.

It was only when Rick moved to start undoing his pants that Daryl's eyes snapped open. "Rick." He growled. The officer again ignored him moving to attack his ear with gusto. "We're supposed to be huntin'." Daryl reminded pushing the other man back. "Remember we told the group we'd look for some fresh meat?" He managed to stop himself and keep distance from Rick even though the blood in his body was screaming at him to let Rick continue, Daryl found the strength to stop himself from begging Rick to finish what he had started.

"I thought that was our code." Rick said licking his lips. His eyes had that glazed and heated look they got lately whenever they were alone together. Big surprise considering what they had been doing together the last few times they were alone.

"Code for what?" Daryl wanted to keep Rick talking. Remind the man where they were and what they were supposed to be doing. But it was mostly for himself, so he wouldn't get any stupid ideas like trying to get Rick to drop his pants again in the middle of the woods. Though the idea of them under the trees moving together… Stop! Daryl hissed mentally, wanting to shut down that part of his brain. Though looking at Rick he seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"Meaning we say 'let's go hunting' when really we mean 'let's find a nice spot to make out.'" Rick moved closer. His hands automatically rubbing against Daryl's hips. Rick's tongue snaked out to run a line across Daryl's throat.

"What like 'that bush over there looks good? Let's make out there,' that kind of code?" Daryl scoffed.

"Exactly. Something like 'Daryl let's hunt aka let's make out in the woods for an hour.'"

"I don' remember comin' up with that code." Daryl mumbled. His hands balled into fists as Rick started to suck on his earlobe.

"Hm." Rick whispered in his ear. "Must have been me who came up with the code then."

"Clearly." Daryl grumbled trying to find the will power to push Rick off him again.

"Don't be a poor sport. You ruined my fun last time." Rick breathed his hands already wrapping around Daryl's waist.

"If I remember correctly ya had no idea what to do. So I wouldn' exactly call that ruinin' anythin'."

"I would have figured it out." Rick defended quickly. "Why don't you let me prove it?" He responded even quicker.

"Still not inspirin' total confidence." Rick huffed against Daryl's throat.

"Maybe I'll take charge this time." Daryl almost rolled his eyes but he realized that if he did Rick would probably take it the wrong way. Daryl wasn't doubting that Rick could take charge. Nor did he doubt Rick's ability to give pleasure as good as he was able to receive it. It was just the way he was proposing it, that made Daryl wanted to gag himself with a spoon. It felt so forced like a bad porno line.

"Didn' ya say that last time?"

"Yeah I did." Rick said biting his lip before sliding even closer. "All the more reason why I should be in charge this time." Rick grinned feeling like he had won. He pushed Daryl back against the trunk of a nearby tree. "Just let me do the work this time okay?" Daryl swallowed trying to calm down. He wasn't sure he would be able to go along with this but Rick clearly wouldn't be deterred.

Rick moved Daryl's shirt up slightly, Daryl made sure to hold part of it down so he wouldn't be left shirtless and worse in a position where Rick could clearly see the scars on his chest. Rick dropped to his knees and pressed forward working Daryl's belt off. Daryl bit his lip trying to stop the trembling rolling in his gut. It felt like a boat tossed about in rough seas. Rick glanced up at Daryl checking to see if he could continue. The hunter kept his face carefully neutral not wanting to let Rick realize his apprehension towards the whole situation. Rick tugged his jeans down, the urge to cover himself was almost too much for Daryl to bear. Rick licked his lips as he rubbed the bones on Daryl's hips. More pronounced from their lack of food.

The warmth created from his fingers helped Daryl to relax slightly. As the man stroked easily not moving beyond his hips. After nearly a minute Daryl opened his eyes and glanced down at Rick. He was expecting Rick to be busy trying to work his boxers off or something along those lines. To his surprise Rick was staring at him with an unwavering gaze. Daryl tried to figure out what the man was waiting for, before the realization hit him like a lead brick. Rick was waiting for Daryl to say it was okay to continue.

It wasn't something the hunter was used to He was used to barely being able to see through a haze of alcohol. Barely aware of anyone near him, let alone sucking him off. Daryl swallowed as Rick blinked slowly waiting patiently. He gave a small nod, which caused a huge smile to form on Rick's lips. Rick quickly worked Daryl's boxers down. Daryl pressed his head back into the tree trunk not sure, if he could watch this. It was one thing to have some drunken floosy doing this to him. But it was a completely different thing to have Rick doing it. The simple fact that it was Rick changed the whole nature of the act. It left Daryl feeling like a virgin barely able to get the courage together to talk to his crush, let alone ask them to do something sexual with him. A drink could go a long way, he thought as Rick touched his thighs. Working his way up slowly. He traced around Daryl's body never touching where the blood was pounding and screaming for attention.

"Tease." Daryl hissed as Rick trailed his fingers less than an inch from Daryl's cock. He could feel it twitch as blood continued to rush into his lower half.

"Sorry." Rick mumbled. "It's just cute." Daryl's cheeks flushed at Rick's words. He suddenly wanted to pull away. The one thing no man ever wanted to hear his dick be called was cute. Rick glanced up quickly when he realized what he had said. "Not like that." He whispered. "I didn't mean it like that."

"How did ya mean it exactly?" Daryl spat out hotly. Anger rushing to his mind. His self-defense mechanism kicking in.

"Your dick, it twitches when I touch near it. Like its bobbing or something."

"And that's cute?" Daryl asked not buying the man's story.

"Yeah, it's kind of like it's waving at me. It's cute and let's be honest probably a lot easier to read than you are most of the time." Daryl huffed. "Next time I don't know how you're feeling maybe I'll just tear your pants off." Daryl coughed nearly choking. Rick smiled as he looked at the hunter before him. "So any tips?" Rick asked finally taking Daryl in his fist. The man stroked lightly helping Daryl's length stiffen completely.

"Don' bite?"

"Damn and here I thought all men liked to be bitten." Rick rolled his eyes. "Of course don't bite. I know that. I've had had blowjobs before you know. I meant was there anything in particular you liked?" Rick waggled his eyebrows. "Or do you want me to figure it out myself?" Daryl shrugged unable to talk as Rick started rubbing small circles on the vein causing his whole body to stiffen. "I'll take that as a figure it out." Rick grinned triumphantly. He increased the pressure of his hand. Rick leaned forward and gave a tentative lick to the shaft. Daryl's whole body went ramrod straight at the heat of his tongue. Rick licked slowly at first laving Daryl's whole cock like it was a lollipop.

He smirked at Daryl before plunging his mouth down. The heat of Rick's mouth set Daryl's legs trembling. He braced himself against the tree. Hoping he'd be able to remain standing. Rick sucked slowly. His eyes dark as he kept Daryl's gaze not letting the man look away. It was the look in Rick's eyes that had Daryl panting. He looked like he was so in control. Like the only thing that Rick wanted was to see Daryl lose control and let go. He flicked his tongue on the underside of Daryl's cock. Licking the vein and sucking the head deeply.

Rick ran his hands around Daryl's hips. Stroking the line of his spine as he sucked. Daryl had to bite his lips to stop himself from crying out as Rick worked his tongue over the head before moving back to the vein that made Daryl throw his head back. A groan escaped his lips. Rick attacked that spot relentlessly. Despite what he said earlier, Daryl felt Rick's teeth lightly nibbling the side of his cock whenever Rick paused for a breath. Rick moved all around Daryl's dick but he kept coming back to that vein sucking, licking, and nibbling it like his life depended on it. Daryl wanted to kick himself for thinking that Rick would chicken out of this and Daryl would be able to walk away without hassel. But no Rick didn't back down. He never did. That just wasn't in his nature.

"Shit." Daryl hissed through his teeth. The tightening in his gut made Daryl clench his fist trying to keep the moment going on a little longer. It had been far too long since he'd felt pleasure like this. He didn't want it to end just yet. He tried to control his body to force the orgasm back down but it fought against him fiercely trying to break free.

"Close?" Rick whispered running his tongue around the head and lapping at Daryl's slit.

"No." He growled. Rick smiled and shook his head.

"Just can't be honest with me can you?" He stroked Daryl's cock. It twitched in response.

"Just… don' stop." The hunter panted giving Rick a look that was the closest he could muster to pleading. Rick sucked on his head lightly, fisting the shaft with one hand. The other he drew small circles into Daryl's hip with his nail. Daryl gripped Rick's hair wanting to push himself in deeper. To feel more of the warmth enveloping his dick. But at the same time he didn't want to hurt the man in front of him. He settled for thrusting his hips forward with barely any force behind the movement. Rick smiled and his licking turned fierce before bobbing his head and hollowing out his cheeks to suck in as much of Daryl as he could.

Daryl couldn't stop his hips from moving forward in time with Rick's bobbing. His body seeking to stay inside of the heat surrounding him. Rick pressed the flat of his tongue against Daryl's vein as he pulled his cock in deep. Daryl's hands tightened in Rick's hair. He moaned lowly trying to warn Rick that he was coming. Rick dipped his head quickly and moved his tongue around the underside with increasing speed.

The tightening in Daryl's balls warned him as his eyes rolled up. Light exploded behind his lids. His whole body going rigid as his orgasm hit him like a punch to the gut. Daryl's legs trembled struggling to keep him upright and not collapse into a heap. Daryl was distantly aware that Rick's hand was moving helping him finish the orgasm as his mouth remained tight around his dick. Daryl panted struggling to open his eyes. Rick was staring up at him from the ground. His lips in a slight pout as they were wrapped around Daryl's softening member.

"Ya okay?" He mumbled. His whole body quaking from the comedown. Rick pulled back and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. He swallowed deeply and grinned.

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"Did ya just swallow?" Daryl asked torn between horror and a heat that burned in his chest. He didn't want to outright admit it but knowing Rick had just swallowed…was actually turning him on. Most of Daryl's partners had run to the bathroom to spit it out almost immediately saying they didn't want any hick cum in them.

"Yeah? Did you want me to gurgle it first?" Rick raised an eyebrow. "Cause I know some people like that. Personally I consider it showing off." Daryl pulled Rick up by his shirt and crashed their lips together. Tangling his tongue with Rick's fiercely, the heat still burning hot in his belly. Rick moaned pressing closer to Daryl. He ground his hips against Daryl's rubbing his own hardness against Daryl trying to create some sort of friction to diminish some of the ache. Daryl pulled back and started to reach down to help Rick before he could even get close Rick had his wrist tightly in his hand. "Don't."

"But-"

"It's okay. I'll be okay." Daryl stared hard not believing him. "I told you today was about you. If you liked it then I'm satisfied."

"Maybe mentally but physically?" Daryl glanced down at the bulge in Rick's pants.

"It'll go down."

"But…" Daryl trailed off biting his lip. He didn't like the feeling like he was allowed to have pleasure. It didn't sit right with him. The physical stuff was supposed to be 'I do something nice so you'll do something even nicer for me' …wasn't it?

"It's okay. It doesn't have to be a give or take with us. You can just enjoy yourself." Daryl worried his lip. Still not satisfied with the answer. "If you have to think about it as a give or take remember I owed you one." Daryl's brow furrowed trying to think if Rick was right, it felt like he could never pay the man back. So in reality he should be the one doing all this for Rick not having Rick do things for him at all. Wouldn't that just increase how much he had to repay him in the end otherwise?

Rick sighed and gave Daryl's hand a sharp tug pulling him down to the ground. "Stop thinking." He mumbled kissing Daryl chastely. He helped pull Daryl's pants back up before the man could respond. "There now we can rest relax. Do that whole cuddly thing."

"I'm not very good at that." Daryl mumbled resting against Rick's side. Trying to stop his body from twitching with nerves.

"That's okay. I'm not either but we can try it until it gets weird or until you get bored." He laughed deeply into Daryl's hair. Daryl felt his eyes slowly closing as Rick continued running his fingers through Daryl's hair.

"Are ya sure yer okay?" Daryl mumbled his words slurred with content exhaustion. Rick nodded against his head as he ran his fingers down the hunter's throat. Rick trailed his hands down and started stroking Daryl's hips. Moving slowly up and down leaving the hunter in a content and blissful state.

"Hey what's this?" Rick asked suddenly running his hand over the raised flesh on Daryl's hips. The ugly violent scar that started at the tip of his hipbone and wrapped around to the lower part of his back where it curved upward running up close to the longer painful sets on his spine. He tried to shy away from Rick's hand, trying to move his shirt down and over his hips before Rick realized how far the scar went on his body. But Rick was faster and pushed Daryl's hands away. He grabbed both of the hunter's wrists holding them tightly in one hand. Daryl growled and struggled to get free from Rick's hands.

The sensation of being trapped made his throat tighten. Rick's free hand traced the scar as fire broke out across Daryl's body. He twisted and jerked trying desperately to escape. Rick tightened his hand in response crushing the bones together. Daryl's mind started panicking as the feeling of being trapped and the burning sensation increased. He couldn't think straight enough to tell Rick what was happening or to beg him to stop. Daryl tasted blood on his tongue, he'd bitten it to stop himself from screaming. Though how sound could work around the tightened esophagus was a mystery. Daryl shut his eyes, clenching them so no light could get at him.

"Keep quiet don' move and it'll hurt less." Daryl couldn't remember if this was something Merle had told him when he was a child or if Daryl had made the rule himself. But at the moment he clung to it like a drowning man. He tried to shut off his senses. Make himself empty but he couldn't move beyond the burning agony. Rick started to trace the torn and broken flesh towards his back. Daryl thought for certain he'd faint when he reached the apex. When his hand started curling around his back. That he'd die with this burning in his veins and the screams strangling his mind.

"Hey Daryl?" Rick whispered. A soft moan escaped Daryl's lips. "Hey hey." Rick retreated quickly his hands touching Daryl's throat. "Jesus, Daryl breathe!" Rick hissed touching the hunter's forehead. He kept a hand on Daryl's throat feeling his racing pulse. "Daryl! Listen to me, breathe in and out slowly." Rick squeezed Daryl's hand. The hunter moaned lowly trying to remember how to breathe. How did that work again, he wondered. He felt a mile from his body like he couldn't move because he wasn't inside of it. It was someone else's body not breathing. "Daryl it's alright. Breathe." Rick said pressing his head against Daryl's. Daryl took small gasping breathes. "Good. Now deeper and slower." Rick whispered, Daryl centered himself around Rick's voice. His hands. Using them as an anchor back to himself.

He slowed his breathing and forced his body to stop trembling. "That's it." Rick continued to guide him. His voice steady and unwavering. Daryl clung to his voice. After a solid minute he was able to shakily open his eyes. His vision was clear and his breathing had returned to an almost normal rate. Rick continued his steady pressure on Daryl's throat and hand. He watched the hunter closely, his eyes worried and overly concerned. Rick looked like he was ready to rush Daryl straight to Hershel though his voice and hands were completely stable and controlled. The training he'd had at the police academy coming out in full effect. He might be worried but he had enough sense to stay calm and help Daryl.

"Sorry." Daryl mumbled, moving from resting against the tree to sliding down where he could press his cheek to the dirt below him. He curled against the stability of the ground under him. He pulled his hand from Rick's and closed his eyes, listening to the sounds of life around them. Little birds singing, bugs and worms moving slowly through the dirt. Daryl let the sounds and the coolness below his cheek help him finish his return to normal. However he still felt quivery and weak. A headache was building behind his eyes. He could already tell he'd have a fever later tonight.

Daryl had almost thought Rick had left him until his head rested next to Daryl's on the ground. The man's blue eyes watching him closely as the dirt started to twist in his hair. The concern was still evident and guilt had started to swim in the emotional pool that was Rick's eyes. Daryl couldn't stand the way his eyes seemed to be trying to reach out to him. Begging him to give Rick a hint, anything to explain what had just happened. Daryl's stomach knotted at the look. He didn't want to see the hurt he'd caused reflected back at him. But at the same time Daryl wanted the comfort Rick was offering. So he compromised, he closed his eyes hiding from the gaze he couldn't escape from but reached his hand out and took Rick's again. He pressed his fingers in-between Rick's. The warmth was comforting on his chilled body. "Sorry to ruin the fun." Daryl mumbled his words coming out slurred.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I pushed you." Rick mumbled he was biting his lip. The soft chewing sound reaching Daryl's overly sensitive ears. "Is this the first panic attack you've had?" Daryl cracked an eye open.

"Is that what it's called?" Rick nodded. "How'd ya know I was havin' one?"

"I didn't until I noticed you weren't breathing right. Your heartbeat was racing too. Those are some of the main symptoms." Daryl slid his eyes closed again not being able to handle the look of pain in Rick's eyes any longer. "I should have realized sooner. I'm sorry." Rick whispered.

"How do ya know so much about panic attacks?" Daryl questioned wanting to keep hearing Rick's voice as his mind collected itself. But he didn't think he could handle Rick blaming himself anymore. It wasn't his fault Daryl was so screwed up. It was Daryl's fault for not letting him know the extent to his brokenness.

"I worked with a girl early in my career. She used to have panic attacks when we were called to the scenes of really violent crimes. She had a bad blood phobia. I learned quickly how to help her through them. Though to be honest, it's been a long time since I've had to help someone through that. I'm not very good anymore, I'm afraid." Daryl squeezed Rick's hand at the low defeated tone-echoing deep in his throat.

"Ya did fine. I should have had better control over myself." Daryl chuckled in a self-deprecating manner. "Not a very good Dixon if I can' even hold myself together." Rick squeezed Daryl's hand hard, it almost hurt.

"Don't say that! It's not something you can just 'control!' It's not about being strong or weak! People suffer from PTSD and panic attacks but that doesn't mean that they're weak. Don't ever think you're weak." Rick gripped the back of Daryl's neck. The hunter opened his eyes. Rick forced him to meet gazes with him. "Do you hear me? You're not weak." Rick stared hard waiting for him to agree. Daryl nodded but he didn't feel Rick's words inside of him. Merle never had panic attacks. His father definitely didn't have them. It wasn't a Dixon thing. Just a Daryl thing apparently. Like all of his other failures.

"I don' have PTSD." Daryl grumbled closing his eyes again.

"I never said you did. But you did have a panic attack just now." Daryl shrugged, he was beyond caring at this point. Too busy thinking how his father would have beaten him black and blue had he seen Daryl having a childish panic attack. "It's because I was touching your scar wasn't it?" Rick murmured. Daryl tightened his jaw and forced his eyes to open. Rick was looking at him with an almost heartbroken look on his face. His eyes openly hurt and devastated.

The look made Daryl's gut tighten in sympathetic pain. But more than that annoyance. Not at Rick, at himself. Other people could stand having their scars touched, hell Rick himself had said that it felt good to have Daryl touch his. So what the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he respond the same way? "I didn't mean to hurt you or cause a panic attack. God I just…" Rick gripped his hair struggling to speak. Rick looked crushed by his own actions. "I wasn't thinking. It's a shitty reason, I know it is. But I just…" Rick sighed shaking his head. "Just got so caught up in things. I always do that around you don't I?" Rick looked disgusted with himself. "You're always the one who ends up paying for my thoughtlessness. I can't apologize enough." He worried his lip. "I got scared when I first felt it, like maybe you'd been hurt or scratched during our escape." Rick rambled his voice growing scratchy. His blue eyes were watery and fragile in a way Daryl wasn't used to.

"It's alright." Daryl mumbled.

"Not it's not!" Rick growled forcefully. "It probably hurt and scared you being held and touched like that."

"Wasn' scared." Daryl huffed angrily.

"Look just, I'm sorry." Rick blew out a breath composing himself. "I shouldn't have touched it. That's your business and if you don't ever want to talk about it I'll understand." It felt like Rick was retreating, pulling away from Daryl. Daryl licked his lips and squeezed Rick's hand. Rick had done more for him than most of his family ever had. Rick had been beyond patient with him even before he'd known anything about him. Hell Rick had gone back to look for Merle with him, despite the objections of Shane and Lori. Despite just being reunited with his family after so long.

"Being close to someone is a two way street Daryl." His mother had told him after his best friend had said he hated him at the age of seven. "You can't expect them to share so much about themselves and you share nothing in response. That's not friendship. Being friends means you open up and let them know things, about your thoughts and feelings. Things you wouldn't normally tell others." Daryl sighed and closed his eyes. He nodded to himself collecting his courage. It felt like he was trying to catch the air in his lungs. But he forced himself forward regardless.

"I'll tell ya 'bout some of them. If ya want." He said quickly his voice cracking towards the end. Nerves made him jittery but he'd said just yesterday that he'd try to start sharing more. Of course he'd thought Rick would be asking things like, his favorite color or if he liked long walks on the beach. Not where his scars came from. if he was going to start there how the hell did Rick zero in on some of the worse and most painful ones marking his body?

"You don't have to." Rick said quickly, eyes downcast.

"Do ya want to know?" Daryl asked again. Rick hesitated clearly torn between wanting to know more and not wanting to cause Daryl anymore psychological harm. "It's okay if ya do." Daryl murmured. His mother's voice clearly ringing in his head.

"If you're okay with sharing, I won't say no to hearing more about you. But if you don't want to share I won't take it personally. We all have stuff that needs to stay with just ourselves." Rick said slowly his words carrying the weight of his feelings.

"I told ya I'd try sharin' more if that's what ya wanted."

"I don't want you to feel pressured or forced."

"Trust me ya can' force or pressure a Dixon." Daryl gave a soft smirk. Rick didn't look convinced and worried his lip.

"Dixon oath?" Daryl chuckled lowly, Rick was one of the only people left in this world (hell even before) who used the oath so often and for such silly unimportant reasons. Before Daryl could open his mouth Rick continued. "You have to give me your Dixon oath that you're okay with talking about this! And that you'll tell me if you don't want to talk about this!" Daryl opened his mouth but Rick steamrolled ahead. "If it ever hurts you have to let me know, so I can stop immediately." Rick said wracking his brain trying to figure out if he missed any sort of loophole in the Dixon rules. Daryl found it both cute and frustrating. Mostly frustrating because Rick seemed to regard him like he was an expensive microwave that had all the instructions in German. And cute because well, it was Rick doing his normal overly concerned thing he did. (Still never ever going to admit that it was cute.)

"Are ya done?" Daryl grinned. Rick huffed and ran a finger in a slow circle turning up dirt.

"Yeah I guess." He grumbled.

"I give ya my oath as a Dixon to all yer long winded rules." Daryl teased.

"Wait!" Rick cried interrupting him again. "Start with a simple scar something that you've shared with other people before." Daryl shrugged. He didn't care, so long as Rick didn't ask him to explain where the ones on his chest and back came from or worse who caused them, he was willing to share. It surprised Daryl a little. He'd always thought he'd die before telling anyone the truth about his scars.

But this was Rick and as much as it worried and scared him to even consider opening up to another person, he wanted to try. At the very least to show Rick that he could never repay his honesty, generosity, and so many other things the man had shown towards him. But more than that he wanted to show Rick how much he meant to him. Daryl didn't have much to offer the man besides himself but he would give him anything he could. If that meant talking about his scars to prove that than that's what it would take.

Rick was watching him intently probably trying to figure out if Daryl was going to put a stop to this. It was a tempting idea but he licked his lips and pulled the left corner of his shirt up. The scar there was a little smaller than the others were and the story behind it was not nearly as bad as some of the others. He shifted the shirt trying to hide the bigger scars on the rest of his chest while simultaneously showing the majority of the scar on his lower abdomen to Rick.

Rick's eyes widened and he made a choking sound in the back of his throat. Daryl realized too late that Rick had seen some of the scars around his pectoral muscles but he didn't issue any questions. For which Daryl was extremely grateful. He licked his lips and swallowed, this was worth it he reminded himself. This matters to Rick. Daryl wished he could tell Rick he could touch the scar but he knew he couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't suffer from another panic attack or something worse.

"This one came from one of Merle's biker gang friend, Bobby. He decided one night at the bar that we should learn how to fight in a knife fight. Sadly Bobby's idea of learnin' and teachin' was to show what would happen if ya lost." Daryl smirked. "I learned really fast."

"Jesus. Did he do this because you asked or something?"

"Sorta. Too much beer and nothin' to do gives ya ideas ya wouldn' normally have. Well maybe Bobby would have, he was a messed up dude. He liked runnin' over animals for fun. He and Merle got into a fight, it was then that they decided they needed to try their hands at knife fightin'. Well I had the sharpest knife so they decided it would be me and Bobby then Merle would fight the winner." Rick's eyes were huge as he listened closely. Rick seemed almost horrified by the story from Daryl's childhood but at the same time he was morbidly fascinated.

"So what happened? Did you win?" Rick asked, despite he reservations he was genuinely interested in Daryl's story. That made Daryl feel a tiny bit better about sharing. He couldn't help but think his mother was right about the nature of friendship. It made it easier for the hunter to continue.

"I did actually. Bobby was a hard fighter but he was drunker than me which is probably why I ended up with this." He touched the tiny corner of the long jagged scar. It didn't hurt nearly as bad as he thought it would. The pain didn't flare as quickly as the one on his hip had. Instead it slowly sluggishly woke up. Daryl pulled away before the pain got too intense. "I like to think he normally wouldn' have done somethin' like that. So he gave me this which instead of frightenin' me, it just pissed me off."

"How drunk were you?" Rick asked, Daryl shrugged.

"Enough to not feel the pain but not enough to pass out instead of doin' dumb stuff." Rick scoffed.

"So what did you do?" Daryl grimaced.

"Um well. He nearly lost an eye." Rick's face paled and his eyes got even bigger if possible. He didn't seem to know what to say or do with the information Daryl had just given him. This is why Daryl didn't want to share. His life was too harsh and painful for most people to deal with. Rick especially wouldn't understand or really accept (let alone process) the thoughts and actions Daryl had had and made throughout his life. It was part of why Merle had said Dixon's were destined to be alone.

"People just don' get us. Not long term anyway. Better to realize that sooner rather than later." Merle had mumbled drunkenly one night after his girlfriend left him. Would this be the thing that caused Rick to leave? Daryl repressed the slight shudder at the thought. He knew Rick would be leaving him eventually. A part of him just didn't want it to be so soon. Daryl steeled himself for the moment Rick pushed him away.

"What did Merle do?" Rick asked softly. Daryl stared hard into the eyes of the man in front of him. Rick didn't look like he was going to bolt. He looked uncomfortable certainly but his expressive face wasn't contorted with hate or disgust like Daryl had feared it would be. He seemed to be carefully controlling his emotions and not showing anything at all.

"Merle." Daryl chuckled softly. "He convinced some drunk chick to go home with him and took off. Not that Bobby and I noticed until later."

"So you didn't have to fight him?"

"Nah probably would have walked away with worse if he and I tried to fight each other. Merle's a damn dirty fighter when he's drunk. He gets too focused on winnin' the fight and doesn' think about the damage he can cause in the meantime."

"What did you do? After Bobby slashed you I mean?"

"Before or after I nearly carved his eye out?"

"After." Rick whispered his face pale.

"We broke apart from our knife fight. He started guzzlin' down whiskey tryin' to kill the pain I imagine. Me, I tried to find Merle. I ran all over the place lookin' for him. I kept bleedin' all over the floor and swearin' up a storm tryin' to find him. But he was already long gone. I wasn' old enough to technically be drinkin' so I couldn' really take Bobby to the hospital without gettin' busted myself." Daryl touched the scar with a fingertip remembering how he'd pressed one shaky hand against his hip to try and staunch the flow of blood. He hadn't been thinking clearly enough to stop and actually bandage the wound up. Instead he ran around losing blood like crazy as he tried to get help.

"What did you end up doing then?" Daryl grinned slightly.

"I took him to my truck and drove him straight to my uncle's place." Daryl chewed a nail. "By then Bobby had passed out and I was left to drag him up the stairs. I was half out myself from blood loss. But I got lucky that night and my uncle Jess was home for once. He pulled me and Bobby in and demanded an explanation later after he patched us up."

"Did he have any medical training?" Daryl laughed at the thought. Jess as a medic was the last thing he could ever see the grizzled old man working as.

"Nah. He was a mechanic. Stitchin' up wounds is just somethin' ya tend to learn pretty fast in the Dixon family. I know how to stitch a basic injury. Nothin' like Hershel mind ya but I can handle some of the minor stuff just fine. In fact I've done it for both Merle and myself when we were kids."

"You've stitched up your own wounds?" He gasped. Rick looked positively horrified at this fact. Daryl shifted his left knee, bring the hole in his jeans a little lower and to the right where a deep scar ran down the edge.

"I stitched this one when I fell on a piece of glass once. It went right through. Merle was off in Juvie. My pa wasn' interested in takin' a dumb kid to the doctors. So I took care of it myself." Rick's fingers twitched as he stared at the scar. Daryl gulped and moved his jeans to reveal more of the scar. "Ya can touch it if ya want." Rick pulled his twitching hands away quickly.

"I'd better not."

"Ya were willin' to suck me off but now ya don' want to touch my knee?" Rick huffed through his nose.

"It's different."

"If it starts to hurt I'll tell ya. Okay?" Daryl mumbled. He swallowed. He told Rick that he was fine with him touching his scar but he could still feel the nerves rolling around his gut. Rick slowly tentatively reached forward. He glanced up at Daryl checking that it was okay for him to continue. The hunter nodded slightly.

Rick pressed the softest of feather light touches to his knee. Daryl almost jerked back from the electric sensation that went straight to his gut. Rick shot his gaze up. Daryl kept his face completely neutral giving Rick the confidence to continue. He felt the raised flesh and slightly serrated marks from the places that Daryl had put the stiches in haphazardly.

Rick then traced the edge where smooth skin met scar tissue. That sent little tingling feelings to the hunter's jaw and his stomach twisted. Every time Rick hit the scar tissue Daryl couldn't tell if he liked it or if he wanted to throw up. Daryl breathed slowly as Rick traced around the edges again. He suddenly pulled away leaving Daryl confused if he wanted Rick to continue or if he was relieved that he'd stopped.

"I can't believe you stitched your own wounds." Rick shook his head. "That's like something you would see in a movie." Daryl chuckled.

"If ya say so."

"I believe I just did." Rick replied cheekily.

"Did ya get the answers ya wanted?" Daryl mumbled pulling his shirt and pants back into place.

"Yeah but you didn't finish telling me about what happened to Bobby." Daryl shrugged.

"Jess saved his eye, then he took care of my side. The next day Merle made fun of us sayin' we were dumb idiots to get hurt like that. Bobby was pretty pissed and said he never wanted to talk to us again."

"So you never saw him again?"

"Nah he wasn' really that mad just annoyed. I saw him plenty of times after that. Though he avoided drinkin' around me. He was also pretty skittish around knives for a long time."

"I don't blame him."

"Yeah I didn' either. Though a few years later he ended up gettin' arrested anyway. Not really sure what for but I kinda doubt he ever got out before the world went to hell. So who knows, maybe he's safe in some goddamn prison eatin' prime rib while we're starvin'." Rick chuckled at his joke.

"Wouldn't that be just perfect."

"Ironic certainly."

"So how much trouble did you get into?"

"With Jess?"

"Yeah."

"None actually." Daryl smiled thinking of his uncle. "Jess wasn' the type to rat me out. Even though I did somethin' stupid he probably figured I'd done the right thin' by draggin' Bobby to his place and that there was no reason to let anyone know. That or he got drunk and completely forgot about what happened earlier that night. Hard to tell with my uncle."

"Thanks Daryl." Rick mumbled taking Daryl's hand. A smile was forming on his lips.

"For what?" He asked softly turning away from Rick's intense gaze.

"For showing me and talking to me about your past, for letting me touch your scar. I'm sure you didn't feel very comfortable doing that." Daryl shrugged he wasn't going to admit that Rick was right but it was nice to know that he realized what it meant for Daryl to open up like he did. That he didn't do it often and would only consider sharing something like that with someone he trusted. "Really that couldn't have been easy for you." Rick squeezed Daryl's hand.

"Yer welcome." His cheeks flushed.

"So what shall we do now?"

"Don' we have to be headin' back soon? We've been out here a while."

"Don't we need to go hunting?" Daryl quirked an eyebrow.

"Pretty sure we already did that and then some." Rick chuckled lowly his eyes delighted.

"Yeah I meant actually hunting."

"Ah. We should make another code word for actual huntin' then." Daryl grinned. "Cause it's goin' to get confusin' fast otherwise."

"Let's go make out?" Rick suggested with a waggle of his eyebrows. He reached down and helped pull Daryl up. The hunter brushed the dirt off his jeans before turning to face Rick.

"Like that won' cause some major questions." Rick laughed. Daryl smirked taking the sound in deep where he could remember it forever. Rick shook his head.

"Well let's do the thing that we need to do."

"Ya sound so dirty when ya talk. Ya know that right?" Rick blanched.

"Shut up." He nudged Daryl's shoulder. Daryl pushed back not giving an inch. "So where-" Before Rick could even finish his sentence an arrow whizzed past his face. He glanced behind him and saw a squirrel pinned to the tree.

"How's that for fresh meat?" Daryl smirked confidence rolling off him in waves.

"Ass." Rick grinned drawing the arrow and squirrel out of the tree. "Nice shot by the way." Daryl shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, sliding the squirrel under his belt and wiping the arrow on some leaves. "Gross! Give that to me." Rick said holding his hand out a furrow creasing his brow.

"Why? I skin the squirrels anyway."

"Yeah but when was the last time you washed your jeans?"

"When I fell down a ravine with an arrow impaled in my side?" Daryl half grinned.

"And now you've made it worse." Rick groaned. "What if the smell of blood attracts walkers?"

"Then I'll take my pants off?"

"No you won't. You're too attached to your jeans, knife, and bandana. Besides running around half naked in front of the group isn't your style." Daryl had to agree with Rick on his points as he starting working the squirrel out of the belt. "Though it would be pretty hot to see you kill walkers naked." Daryl barked out a laugh.

"Ya have really weird fantasies, and no." He shot Rick a harsh look. "I won' fight walkers naked."

"Damn." Rick complained putting the squirrel in his bag. "Well then shall we see if you can impress me by getting some more meat instead?"

"I think I could do that." Daryl murmured pulling his knife out of its sheath. He dragged Rick close to him and whispered in his ear. "Don' move." Rick froze, even his breathing stopped. Daryl was glad at least something was sticking from their training. He pulled his arm back and chucked the knife straight at the other squirrel that had come out of its hole. It didn't even have a moment to react before the blade ended its life. "Good job on holdin' yer breath." Daryl said kissing the side of Rick's cheek. His stubble tickled the hunter's lips. "Yer gettin' better." Rick smiled easily his cheeks slightly red.

"I have a great teacher."

"And don' ya forget it." Daryl smirked moving to the tree. He gave the handle a hard tug.

"Holy shit." Rick whispered his eyes wide and filled with amazement. "You really are a movie star."

"Yeah maybe in a horror flick." Daryl joked handing the body to Rick and giving his knife a quick wipe, making a mental note to give it a better cleaning later.

"No way. You're like James Bond." Daryl shook his head.

"Come on. Let's start headin' back. This'll be enough for now."

"Squirrel stew tonight?"

"Maybe." Daryl shrugged.

"You know I never thought I'd enjoy squirrel stew, the first time I saw it I wanted nothing to do with it." Rick laughed glancing at Daryl.

"Ya city folk always judge food prematurely."

"You have to admit that the way it looks leaves a bit to be desired. When you first gave it to us, Carl said it looked a lot like vomit… He's not entirely wrong." Daryl shrugged, he wouldn't admit that squirrel stew always looked a little…unappetizing. Mostly because the last thing he needed, was the group getting all picky with their food. They reached the side of the house.

"Well it's not on fire so that's good." Daryl mumbled more to himself than to Rick as he gave the house a once over.

"Were you expecting it to be?"

"No I just like to be prepared for the worst case scenario." Rick chuckled as he held the door open. "Thanks." Daryl grunted grabbing a towel from the counter and wiping down his tools. "Besides we haven't been able to set up in a place for very long lately. Keep havin' to run off." Daryl mumbled looking out the window like he was expecting a horde to come through at any moment.

"Yeah. Maybe the walkers are starting to move back up now that the winter is passing?"

"I don' really think they have that much intelligence." Daryl murmured. At least the hoped they didn't. The last thing they needed was walkers who could think for themselves and track down their group.

"So do you want me to start the stew?" Daryl glanced up at Rick. Despite his completely confident voice, he looked ill at ease. Staring at his bag like it was going to bite him at any second.

"Maybe ya should let me take care of that." Rick smiled as Daryl took the bag. His thumb quickly brushing Daryl's wrist.

"Probably a good call." Rick whispered his eyes dark. Daryl rolled his eyes and started working on skinning the squirrels. Rick leaned causally against the counter watching the hunter work. "Want me to get a book? I could read to you."

"Oh yeah?" What book?"

"Snuggie sutra." Daryl scoffed.

"I think I'll pass."

"No fun." They worked in silence though Daryl kept twitching as he felt Rick's intense gaze on him the whole time. Daryl flushed feeling like Rick was trying to probe inside of his mind. "So what shall we do tonight?" Rick asked a sly grin on his face. "Another sleep over?"

"Are ya sure ya don' just want to go huntin' again?" Daryl teased in response.

"Now that's an enticing idea." Rick slid closer. "I'm sure we could find somewhere to hunt in this house." Rick whispered hotly. The flush that rolled through Daryl warmed him to his core.

"We could do that." Daryl mumbled back.

"It's a date then." Rick smiled, he looked like he was dying to touch Daryl. Like he wanted to pin him up against the wall right now. "How about we-"

"Daryl?" Lori's voice called out loudly. Daryl jerked away from Rick. His heart pounding. Rick however didn't move, he just stared coldly at the doorway as Lori entered the room. It felt like the temperature dropped ten degrees. "Rick." She whispered taking a step towards him.

"Lori." Rick responded coldly. "What do you need?" Lori looked upset like she was ready to cry at any moment. Rick either didn't notice or didn't care. Daryl worried his lip wondering if he should interfere. Lori stared at Rick practically pleading with him. Rick returned a steely gaze. Neither of them bending to the others will. Lori took a long shaky breath and turned to face Daryl.

"I need to talk to Daryl." Rick's eyes flicked over to the hunter before returning his dark gaze back to Lori.

"You can talk to him here." He growled. Lori's eyes narrowed as her body straightened in anger.

"No. I will talk to him wherever I want." There was no negotiation in her voice. "You may think you're in charge of this dictatorship but I'm your wife." She planted her hands on her hips. Rick balled his fists. Anger forcing its way out of his pores. "I'll do what I want and you as my husband and the father of my children will support me in my decisions." Rick's jaw clenched so hard it was a wonder it didn't snap. His eyes pinpricks of rage. He was nearly shaking with all the wrath in his bones. Daryl licked his lips and quickly wiped the blood from his hands. He clasped Rick on the shoulder forcing him to meet his eyes.

"I got it started. Just cut the pieces up okay?" Daryl said with a nod towards the counter. Rick stared long and hard like he was trying to stop himself from saying or doing something stupid. Finally he nodded slowly, shot Lori another angry glare and turned his back on them completely. "Lead the way." Daryl mumbled to Lori. She stomped off clearly pissed off. Daryl followed her into the bedroom, his mind filled with concerns for the baby. Could getting mad make a baby sick? Surely they weren't that fragile. But stress was hard on adults, wouldn't it be worse for a newborn? Daryl turned to ask Lori if she needed to lie down.

He was too preoccupied that he didn't see the hand flying at him. However the heavy stinging and ringing in his ears, he couldn't avoid those. Daryl groaned touching his ringing ear trying to stop the insistent scream. He was stunned and unsure what had happened. Water blurred his eyes just enough that he wasn't ready for the second slap to the same cheek. Daryl moaned lowly dropping to the ground. His arms automatically rising to cover his head. The ringing in his left ear intensified painfully as blood rushed to the surface.

"Bastard." Lori growled somewhere above him. He cracked his eyes open, seeing through a misty haze. "You son of a bitch." She hissed pure venom in her voice. Daryl's stomach dropped. He didn't need to ask what she was talking about. It was obvious. The woman before him was a vision of rage and hate. Daryl was a little surprised she wasn't related to the Dixon's the way she was staring him down. "We let you and your good for nothing brother into this group." Daryl repressed a growl at the dive directed towards his brother. "We keep you safe. Hell my, my!" Lori yelled pointing to her chest. "husband goes off on some damn suicide mission because your brother was too goddamn stupid to listen to Rick from the start. He even risks his life for you! Countless times! And this is how you repay us? Repay me?! We've all had to put up with your pissed off attitude, your inability to cooperate, your attempts to take over the group!" Daryl dropped his hands and stared defiantly up.

"I'm not tryin' to take over anythin'!" He insisted.

"Liar." Lori spat. "You took Shane's position!"

"That's 'cause he tried to kill yer husband!"

"Don't you talk about him! You didn't know Shane!" Lori screeched her eyes huge as her anger increased.

"I know he was a liar and a murderer. I know he would have killed Rick so he could be in charge!" Daryl returned his eyes bright. Lori responded with a solid kick to his stomach. She managed more force than a woman her size should ever be capable of mustering. Daryl coughed all the air rushing out of his lungs, as he struggled to breathe.

"You're wrong! Wrong!" She yelled. "Shane would never do that! It's because you started muscling in on his spot in the group. You forced him into a corner!" Daryl shook his head, water building in his eyes. "Everything went wrong the moment you showed up. It would have been better if you stayed lost in that ravine. If you had just died there instead of dragging your destructive ass back to camp." Daryl could hear his father's voice echoing through Lori's words. He swallowed trying to get himself to stop whimpering. He gulped trying to bury the sounds deep in his chest where no one could hear them. He could hear his whole family yelling at him, through Lori.

"I'm sorry." He whispered hoarsely.

"You don't get to be sorry. Not after all you've done." Lori snarled, her voice growing low. "You've ruined everything! Rick is my husband! But then you come along and you just destroy everything!"

"Lori I…" Daryl tried to explain himself. But how could he? There was nothing he could say that would make this better, nothing. Daryl's gut clenched. He didn't know what to do. He felt his insides rebelling like they wanted to puke up everything he'd ever eaten in his whole life.

"The fact that you thought I wouldn't find out?" Lori huffed as she rubbed her eyes. They were burning from unshed tears. "Did you laugh at me behind my back, after you lied to my face?!"

"No." Daryl whispered.

"There you go lying again."

"I didn' mean to hurt anyone." He breathed. Lori brought her heel down on Daryl's hand. He gasped clenching his teeth.

"Your very existence causes harm to everyone." She said grinding her heel into the bones. Daryl panted keeping his voice locked up tight so he couldn't cry out. "You've only ever brought ruin to us. Had you not gone off after your idiot brother, Amy and the others would still be alive."

Daryl felt his throat tighten. The thoughts he'd tried to lock deep in the back of his mind, she was dragging out of him. Like she was pulling his teeth out while forcing lemon juice down his throat. The real reason he never truly told Andrea off after she shot him, was because a part of him felt like he deserved the injury and the resulting scar. That he deserved being shot after letting Amy die. "If you had killed Randall like we expected you to, Dale wouldn't have died."

Daryl's eyes widened as the water burned in his eyes. Dale's death had hit him hard. He did blame himself for it. He'd been close to killing Randall when he heard Dale scream. If he had just killed him in the shed on the first day, Dale would have lived. "So many deaths that could have been avoided if you had only done as we expected you to."

Daryl wanted to ask what was expected of him but he knew from experience that it would only make things worse. Lori ground her foot one final time before pulling back with a sigh. Daryl resisted the urge to rub his raw nearly bleeding hand. "The problem is we're at an impasse." Lori sighed settling on the bed. Her voice deceptively calm. "I can't force you to leave the group, as much as I'd like to. We need the food you bring in and the extra manpower." Lori shook her head. "Don't be mistaken though, we could get along fine without you."

Daryl gave a hollow nod. He couldn't bring himself to look right into Lori's eyes. He knew he wasn't good enough and he couldn't stop the angry whispers from his father telling him how worthless he was. "But like I said, I can't make you leave. That's fine we'll just have to reach an understanding."

"Like what?" Daryl whispered.

"Like you never touch Rick again. I don't know what you blackmailed him with to force him to indulge your perversions but he's nothing like you. Never touch him again. You're not even worthy of the ground he stands on, you redneck freak."

Daryl tried to breath but he couldn't. It felt like he was dying. The mist in his eyes wouldn't clear. He couldn't seem to blink them away no matter how much he tried. His chest hurt like it was being stepped on, it hurt more than the slaps, kick, and hand stomping combined. "But there's one thing about never touching him. An addition to the rule, you could say. Since you ruined my life I think it's only fair for you to offer up your own life in return." Daryl stared at her wondering if she was asking him to die right in front of her.

"Ya want me to kill myself?" He whispered.

"No." Lori said firmly. "I want you to die… for Rick."

"What?" He could barely get the words out of his mouth.

"People die every day in this hell. So should Rick find himself in danger it is your job to save his life. Even if it's at the cost of your own." Daryl blinked trying to hear his own thoughts outside of the roaring in his mind. "You are Rick's sword and shield. As long as he's safe you're safe. But should he be in danger, like he's surrounded by walkers, I expect you to slit your wrist and run into them saving Rick even if it's by your own death." Lori glared down at him, her eyes dark daggers. "It's only fair isn't it? A life for a life." Daryl shakily nodded. "Carl and this baby are also yours to protect. The same rules extend to them." Daryl licked his lips.

"What about ya?"

"I'm Rick's wife, he would never let anything happen to me." She grinned viciously. "Besides you'd be there to die for Rick should he get into trouble trying to save me. It's the same basic thing isn't it?" Lori reached down and pulled Daryl up by his hair. "Do you understand me?" He nodded. "Say it!" She screamed her eyes wild.

"I give ya my Dixon oath." He whispered feeling like he'd been sentenced to the gallows.

"Whatever that means." Lori sneered releasing Daryl's hair. The words 'Dixon oath' kept spinning in his head over and over. "Now get out. I can't stand the sight of you." Daryl rose automatically. His body not under his control. "Remember your life for his." Lori hissed. Daryl nodded as he fumbled with the knob. The haze in front of his eyes getting worse and worse. He was nearly deaf from the screaming inside of his head. "Don't forgot, you aren't worth the ground he stands on."

The door closed on her parting words. Daryl stumbled to his room where he opened the tiny closet and crammed inside. He locked the door trying to hide from the world. The cold mist embraced him as he buried his head in his hands. Daryl knew he ruined everything, he had just hoped that for once he could be happy. But like everything in his life, happiness slipped through his fingers like broken glass leaving him bleeding and asking why.


So first off thank you to everyone who reviewed (seriously makes my day! Especially during the grind of finals.), favorited, and followed this story! Like I said I can't thank you enough. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please if you have the time let me know what you guys thought of this chapter. (it'll be a nice break from studying!) So like I said let me know if you guys liked this chapter or not.

Also I felt like I should quickly explain Lori in this scene. I hopefully didn't make anyone mad, I wrote her as I figured a woman would feel finding out her husband was cheating on her (especially when she's pregnant and the world's gone to hell!) So if it bothered anyone I apologize I felt like the scene really called for it. (and secretly it was a lot of fun to write a character who acted a little sadistic. It's not something I normally get to write! and totally honest Daryl in pain = a perfect opportunity for Rick to comfort him!)

I hope everyone enjoyed the mid season finale! Man was that crazy! I can't wait for February! But the good news is I can work on this story in the meantime! So hopefully I'll see you all in chapter 17! Next chapter I believe will officially start season 3 in the timeline of this story! Goodie goodie!