Well, as I regard this section as 'author notes', I will give my thoughts on stuff now. I think cheese is great, but sometimes it's bad. My loyalty to bacon is without question though.

Yeah. Alright, onto my main points. My reviewers so far (as I was writing this, feel no offence future/past reader).

Invader Johnny; as my first reviewer, I thank you good sir, I needed the acknowledgement to feed my pride.

Constellation Temptation; I like your name, it's fun to say.

And to Guest; you're suspicious, I've got my eye on you. Seriously though Guest, I loved your review, very informative (hence this). I read JTHM years ago, only recently have I started reading Squee and I Feel Sick, loved them by the way. (I love Pepito and Squee too much). Great, now I have to write a Squee and Pepito fic after this... Pairings. Pairings. Pairings. Well, sadly there will be some serious Gir and Pig Romance going on.

Thank you, reviewers and fellow lurkers.

I would like to apologize for the slow pacing this story seems to have, it'll pick up soon, I think.


"I can't do this anymore! What's the point? My reputation is ruined! I'll never have anything else. NOBODY cares about this dumb show! But... I can still make things better, make it all clearer."

The room shook with an alarmed progression as the profaned chuckles echoed down the hall after he who made them. Vision blurred, heart hammered, teeth gritted, hands trembled. Into the room he went, straight for the cluttered desk below his reflection. It was there he found his lover's remains; though years of neglect had not damaged her beauty. He embraced her, and pressed his forehead to hers.

Endearingly, he smiled and held her tightly as he lamented. "This is the only truth we can ever know."

Bang.

Dib stared profusely at the white screen of his laptop. The glare of the screen tore at his sockets so that he may not close them again.

"They can't show this! This is insane, it's cruel! It's only rated 15!"

"The special features on this really do fulfill expectations."

Dib stared behind him widely as he acknowledged the foreign entity. There was a boy standing in the doorway dressed just as darkly as his sister. His eyes were red and twisted and beamed in his direction. From his head a small pair of pointed horns greeted the thin, unkempt strip of black hair. In his hands was the box set of Mysterious Mysteries with the face of the host printed on the cover (the dead face with a bullet through it's skull, and little aliens in spaceships flew out of the hole).

"Who are you?! And what are you doing in my house?"

The boy bowed his head with deafening resolution as he announced himself. "I am known by many names..."

Dib blinked, and glanced away momentarily.

"... Son of the dark prince, child of darkness, some call me the alter boy of doom, others will know me as the second coming of damnation... My mom calls me Pepito."

"..."

"Behind me, wandering around aimlessly in your hallway is my dear friend Squee."

"What are you doing here?" Asked Dib with a suspicious hint of curiosity.

"Your delightful sister invited us over to play Call of Battlepig 9: Zombie Hogfare this evening. I should hope you express no protest," a seemingly demonic glow emitted from the strange boy.

"I uh..."

A nervous voice squeaked down the hallway. "Where am I?... I was just walking home when something grabbed me... Hello?"

"I'm coming, amigo! Just wanted to see my dad's work!" Pepito turned a glare at Dib and raised a brow, allowing one eye to appear far bigger than the other. "He works with everybody."

The boy left the room in a cloud of evil smoke, mumbling a cheerful little tune. "Toddy McToddTodd~"

Dib watched as his box set floated over to his bed and landed on his pillow. The face of the dead host faced up.

"... That was weird."

As he turned back to his laptop to eject the disc inside. With a great and hesitant stare he readied to put the disc into it's case. However, a feeling returned to him. An old feeling. He glanced about his empty room, void of all that he loved. The walls were stripped bare, the collections of haunted gummy bears and fossilized chocolate flavoured dragon saliva were all gone. All of it gone.

He didn't know what was real anymore, not after the accident. Which was an accident, because he regretted it now.

With a silent sigh, he broke the disc in his hand and threw all of the remains into the trash can beside his bed. Strange deformed ghosts manifested, and floated up from the wreckage.

Dib sat there with his legs dangling over the edge of his bed, he swung them as he acknowledged the void, and then the sounds of gunfire and screeching hogs, and yelling became apparent down the hallway.

"Here I am again," he spoke in the empty room.

It didn't work, which was why he regretted it now. He was still alive, and everyone seemed to take pleasure in reminding him.

...

In the vast space that was space, a single irken voot cruiser lurked around in search of whatever it might happen to come across.

Zim had been attempting to activate the stupid little robot for weeks now, and nothing. Absolutely nothing. A groan escaped him easily for the thousandth time, "that little...! Agh! This thing is useless!"

Zim threw the robot at the other side of the smallish ship and stared out of the window in frustration. "That horrible little creature... If I weren't so busy I would destroy him."

Zim continued to do nothing but stare out the window at the stupid universe.

A yawn was heard, the sound came from an area outwith his sight. With his antennae perked and he looked around in confusion. "Computer, stop yawning, it's annoying."

"What you sayeee?"

Zim's eyes widened as he scanned the ship, which to his frustration appeared empty of life, except of course himself. "Whose there?!"

"Ohhhhhh AHAHAHA."

Zim looked up and gaped, staring at that stupid little robot that had been bugging him for weeks on end. "You! You've activated! But how?!"

The robot smiled and fell in onto Zim's lap giggling.

"Answer your master!"

The robot stood on the control board and saluted, "Gir, reporting for duty," it announced with sudden red eyes.

"Gir?" Zim frowned, tilting his head. "What does the G stand for?"

Gir returned to a stagnant blue and shrugged, "Iuhuh."

Zim paused for a moment, frowning with a silent edge to his thoughtful expression.

Gir hummed, rubbing his hand under his chin in an attempt to mimic Zim's analytic posture. All of a sudden, his head opened and a small, fat irken was launched out and into the back of the ship, whose massive body barely missed Zim.

"AHH!" Screamed Zim.

"AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AHHHHHH AAAAAHH AHA AHA AHAHHH..."

"What happened?!... I'm alive? I survived!" The irken spoke with esteemed joy as he wiped the molten candy sticks from his stained shirt.

Meanwhile, Gir continued to scream in the background.

"Wait a minute... Skoodge! What are you doing?! This is my mission!" Zim screamed, jumping up from his seat.

"What? Mission?" He scratched his head and stared in confusion.

Zim growled and threw the still screaming Gir at Skoodge, which hit the poor sick Skoodge like the piece of robotic metal it was. "Get out!"

"OW!" Skoodge yelled as he lifted himself up, while Gir hung onto his antennae, pulling his weight down in front of him. "Make it stop!"

"I said get out of my ship!"

"I can't, lemme go, ahhh!" Skoodge tried to reach the robot to pull him off, but the little abomination already let go, and fell to the floor. "Oh wow... That thing... Is insane!" He panted, holding his antennae painfully.

Zim growled once more, and pushed a button on the flashing screen in front of him, removing the window of the voot cruiser. After grabbing the happy smiley Gir, he pushed Skoodge out into the cold vacuum of space, screaming horribly as he flew. The window returned to normal, and Zim let go of Gir, who admittedly still held onto Zim.

"Get off of Zim."

"No!"

"..."

"Okay!" Gir cheered and pushed his metallic face against the window. "Woohooo! Look at dat! And dat! And dat! Ohhhh... And DAT!"

Zim sighed, and stared lazily out of the window. Part of him preferred the little robot deactivated. Part of him however, appreciated less silence.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! WAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

To an extent.

...

Skoodge sighed, and hovered around through the lack of atmosphere complacently. "Well, it can't get much worse. At least I'm alive again."

Immediately after he spoke, he was hit by another spaceship, similar to the last three who refused to pick up a hitchhiker. Especially him to be honest; irkens conquering the universe and all that. Then again, wouldn't that make them more likely to be like 'hey, he'll track us down and kill us if we don't help'? Oh well.

"AHHH! Let me in!" He screamed, face rippling against the window of the ship. "Come on, please!"

"Remove yourself from the front of my ship," said she.

"I can't! I just need a lift somewhere, anywhere! I'm useful, come on! I could help with stuff!"

"..."

A pair of window wipers ran across the window, moving Skoodge back and forth.

"This is tiresome, get off and continue your aimless drifting through space."

Skoodge mumbled, still being swept back and forth.

"... Wait a second," she said suddenly, as if realizing something somewhat important.

The window opened and Skoodge fell into the ship, which was quite similar to Zim's, and any irken ship really.

"Thanks!" He cheered. "I owe you big time! You have no idea how long I was wandering out there!"

"Yes, well, what is your name?"

"Uh? Invader Skoodge?"

She nodded slowly in acknowledgement and thought. "Why were you... Out there?" She gestured outside with a hint of confusion.

"... Well, uh... Some stuff happened..."

She nodded again, "go on."

"Well, I got shot out of a cannon onto Blorch, which was pretty bad, and then got onto some sort of ship. There was this creepy little guy... He was gonna do horrible things..." Skoodge shuddered.

She looked even more confused, only this time, she was starting to lose her patience.

...

"Okay Scampy! Snack time!" What'shisface cheered, looking into a box near the back of the room, only to find some snapped rope and a note which said; Thanku for da yum yums, love sir chickenlegs! Bye!

What'shisface stared widely at the slip of paper for minutes, before screaming out. "Great! Just great!"

What'shisface threw the box, and several other random objects across the room.

Scampy, the slaughtering rat person baby, imitated the destructive frustration, only she was smacking her head against some broken machinery.

"Now I have to find some other rejected creature to harvest your snack meats from..." What'shisface groaned and left the garbage bay with a mop and bucket.

...

"I got eaten by this freakish little robot... Then got shot outa that, then Zim turned up, and shot me out of his ship... Again."

"Zim?" She perked hesitantly.

"Yeah, he's kinda always been trouble, you know? Blowing things up and shooting me outa stuff." He stood there, scratching his head, surprised he hadn't been shot out of her ship.

"Hmm..."

"..." He looked left and right about the ship awkwardly.

"Well then, as the conqueror of Blorch, I imagine you're quite busy," she spoke, looking out the window.

One of his antennae perked, "... Not really."

"Oh, how fortunate... I would like to make an offer to you then."

"Oh? Offer?" His head tilted.

"Yes, an offer. I could use your talents... Whatever they might be."

"Not really much of 'em, but okay!"

"Alright, so then it's a deal?"

"I don't really know what I'm agreeing to..."

"That's the point," she noted, lifting a finger as a metaphorical point.

"Well... So long as I don't get shot out of anything, or shot at, or blown up, I guess it's a deal," he nodded.

"Very well, then."

"... So uh..."

"Tak, it's Tak."

"Oh, okay, Tak!"