The group ate the owl quickly, they all devoured the small amount of food so rapidly it was almost startling. But Daryl was glad. Everyone looked happier just a little meat in their bellies caused a dramatic change. The peace was again shattered when they caught sight of walkers. They were all forced from the rest stop.
The group eventually came to a stop thirty minutes later on a deserted road. They looked over a map, going over the location of the herds they knew of and the towns they'd already worked through. Daryl sighed and listened closely, the small towns were starting to become unsafe from herds. They didn't have many places left for them to run to, danger seemed to be closing in on them constantly. He felt a pang of longing for the house they'd spent the winter in, it had been stable and felt almost normal for a time. Daryl heard T-Dog mentioning getting water while they were stopped.
"Let's go huntin'." Daryl glanced at Rick who shot him a small hopeful smirk. Daryl felt like punching himself in the face. He'd forgotten what Rick had said about them hunting. He didn't know how he could have forgotten what those words meant to Rick. But they'd agreed that they were partners, nothing more right? He's only happy because we're working together, Daryl decided gripping his crossbow trying desperately to convince himself of that.
However Daryl would be lying if he said the idea didn't send a rush of excitement through his chest. Like a tiny seed taking root in his body, it started to spread slowly hope foolishly taking root. But Lori's angry gaze stopped that feeling from growing into anything more. Like weed killer she stomped out any feelings in Daryl's chest, leaving that tight painful sensation in its place. He ducked his head trying to bury his feelings deep as he led them towards the woods.
Daryl tried to keep himself calm as he felt Rick pressed up close, his presence almost touching his back. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd made a mistake suggesting they go together. The memories of what the words used to mean stuck in Daryl's head where they spiraled around uncomfortably constricting his mind. He could feel the heat from Rick's chest on his back. Daryl knew they needed to work together especially with the focus of keeping everyone alive. He knew that, it was just convincing his heart of the same thing. His mind was already aware of their new relationship or the lack thereof. But his heart didn't, and that was the problem.
"You don't have to be so tense." Rick's voice cut through his muddled and disruptive thoughts. Daryl clenched his bow. A retort and denial formed on his tongue before Rick continued. "If this is too much for you I can head back. I just don't like the idea of you being." Daryl scoffed.
"I'm better on my own." Rick came to a stop and stared at Daryl long and hard. The hunter shifted awkwardly and averted his gaze. He didn't want to look into Rick's soul searching eyes. The sense that the man would be able to read into his mind unnerved him.
"I thought we agreed to work this out." Rick breathed.
"We did." He mumbled.
"This." Rick took a step forward, and Daryl responded by flinching backwards. "Isn't working anything out." He finished eyes downcast.
"Ya can' just snap yer fingers and expect this to work out for ya." Daryl mumbled trying to explain why he couldn't just pretend what had happened between them suddenly hadn't.
"You're right." Rick agreed quietly. "But we can't keep this up it…" He paused struggling to speak. "It's affecting everyone." Daryl licked his lips and glanced up at his leader.
"What do ya suggest?"
"We trust each other. I told you before that there's no one I trust at my back more than you. Can you maybe try to trust me again? Even if it's just a little?" Rick was on the edge of pleading. His eyes nearly desperate.
"I do trust ya." Daryl said sharply, annoyance at Rick's words licked at his tone. The very fact that Rick didn't think he trusted him bothered the hunter greatly. "I never stopped." He continued firmly. Rick peered at Daryl his eyes bright. He opened his mouth before shaking his head and thinking better of his words.
"I'm sorry." Rick exhaled. "I just…" He shook his head again. "We said we'd work together didn't we?" Daryl nodded. "We shook on it right?" He nodded again. "Then can you stop treating me like you're expecting an attack?" Daryl twitched, his eyes wide. "Every time you look at me it's like you're waiting for me to snap, like you're waiting for me to start blaming you for something." Daryl jerked slightly pulling away from the man as much as he could. "You look like a wounded dog who thinks he's done something wrong and is expecting a beating." Rick sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I don't know what's going on in your head. But I want you to know I don't blame you for anything."
"Ya said that before." Rick nodded.
"I know but I don't think you heard me. I mean really heard me. Because I know, you don't believe me, even now." Daryl worried his lip. Rick was right, he trusted him certainly but the blame was a shard of glass in his gut, constantly twisting where he could feel it with every movement, every time Rick looked at him, he was waiting for the man's eyes to grow dark and violent, for the blame to descend like fire raining from the sky. The fact that it never came worried the hunter all the more. It didn't feel right for Rick not to beat his anger and blame into Daryl's flesh. Daryl kept waiting for Rick to scar him with his hate. "Daryl." Rick whispered, the hunter raised his eyes to meet the deep blue before him. "We're in this together. We're all we've got."
Rick took a step forward. His hand reaching for the hunter's. Daryl tried to pull away from the contact but Rick tightened his grip. He quickly entwined their fingers. "You said you trust me?" Daryl nodded hesitatingly, his eyes caught on their fingers wrapped together. His heart trembled at the heat between them. "Then trust me when I say I'll fix this."
Daryl worried his lip. He couldn't take his eyes off their hands. Their hands looked so different just like they were. He'd been longing to feel this again but did he really have the right to delude himself into believing he could have it? Daryl felt at war with himself, did what he want really matter in the face of his oaths? Did his desires matter after everything he'd already screwed up? Was it right for him to even desire after all the harm and pain he'd caused?
Rick could be happier with Lori but the man seemed incapable of realizing it. "Daryl please." Rick whispered close to his ear. "Trust me." Rick's warm hand squeezed tightly trying to convey his emotions through their hands. He could feel the trust and fragile hope the man had placed between their palms. It sat there waiting for Daryl to return the same feelings.
Daryl swallowed and did the only thing that came to his mind. He would obey his leader and he follow his wishes. Daryl nodded barely able to move his head. Rick had his trust and loyalty for as long as he wanted it. He could find a way to make Rick pleased with him and keep true to his oaths.
Rick's face broke into a full happy grin, his eyes alight with mirth. Daryl felt a small smile tug at his own lips in response. Rick pressed closer and Daryl worried that he would try to kiss him. He trusted the man but they couldn't just pretend things were normal again. He wasn't ready, they weren't, and everything that happened with Lori still haunted his mind. But Rick didn't try anything instead he brought him into a brief but firm hug. Daryl suspected it would have lasted longer had he not started squirming, feeling completely uncomfortable. His body needed to get used to being touched again, it had been long enough that the hunter felt skittish about letting anyone close to him. Rick pulled back quickly still smiling despite the hunter's nerves that had forced them apart.
"This is too much like crappy romance movie for me." Daryl grumbled looking away his cheeks feeling warm on his face. Rick hummed but stepped next to Daryl as the hunter started leading them away. "Ya know we can' just do what we were doin' before anymore, right?" He shot a glance at Rick whose face was still bright.
"Yeah." Rick said but his face didn't show any concern at his words, in fact he was smiling and couldn't look more pleased with himself. Daryl was worried the man didn't understand what he meant at all. He tried to understand the man standing beside him but Rick was a mystery to the hunter at this moment. The only thing he could come up with was that his leader was pleased they were working together again. That reason left a bitter taste in Daryl's mouth, the taste of something left unfinished, like he wasn't grasping the situation he was in fully.
Daryl would be lying if he said he wasn't pleased that they had worked some of their problems out too. He felt like Rick in that regard. He liked working with the man at his side, they worked well together. Probably better than most of the group did and knowing he could trust that his back was safe was a peace of mind that only Rick could provide him. They walked in silence for a moment before Rick glanced over at him.
"What?" The hunter grunted.
"Nothing…Just thinking."
"'Bout?"
"This." Rick motioned between them. "It feels nice huh? Almost like old times." Daryl smiled softly.
"Yeah I guess it does." He agreed. "Though the way you say it makes us sound like old men." Rick chuckled. They walked in silence again until Rick spoke up once more.
"Carl's been talking about trying to find a new comic. Maggie said we need some new books too." Daryl snickered under his breath.
"Maybe we should try takin' over a bookstore next. I imagine book worm walkers wouldn' be nearly as bad as the supermarket walkers have been." Rick chuckled at his bad joke.
"I don't know, I know a certain hunter to be pretty overprotective about his books. How do we know they wouldn't be the same way?"
"Maybe they'd want to start a book club with me?" Rick nodded in agreement.
"It would be like Oprah, we could sit around sipping wine and talking about the classics."
"Could I get somethin' stronger? Moonshine at least?" Rick laughed his eyes bright as he looked at the hunter besides him. If it were anyone else Daryl would assume they were making fun of him with the way Rick was looking at him, but he knew the man would never do that to him. It just wasn't in his nature to make fun of people. If he was laughing it was because Daryl had honestly amused him.
"Not really the book club kind of drink, but it suits you strangely enough. I like the idea of you there with a jar of moonshine while all those uppity narcissistic people drink their wine."
"I've never been to a book club before." Daryl shrugged not sure if he should apologize for the fact that he didn't know what went on at book clubs (much less what one was supposed to drink at them) or not but Rick continued before he could ponder it more.
"I got dragged to a couple by Lori. It's basically all these people standing around drinking wine and talking about how much money so and so makes or who's sleeping around with who and all sorts of other chatty gossip."
"Doesn' sound like much of a book meetin', sounds like a bunch of egotistical rich jerks talkin' about how great they think they are. I thought the point of book clubs was to talk about, I dunno the books?"
"That about sums it up." Rick laughed at Daryl's blunt way of talking. "In fact I'm pretty sure I was the only one who read the book." Daryl shot him a questioning look. "Yep Lori said it was important that I actually read the novel so I wouldn't be 'that guy' who just stands awkwardly in the corner with nothing to say. So I brought it with me everywhere. I read it on my lunch break, when we were waiting for speeders. Shane and the whole force mercilessly teased me about reading a book with a cover of a trashy romance novel full of sobbing girls and sexy men. But I finished it regardless, I was the only one apparently." Rick chuckled. "But you know I really ended up enjoying it. It was a surprisingly good read. I'm glad I read it in the end, despite all the questions over my manhood while I was reading it."
Daryl could actually see Rick brining the book with him everywhere. He was serious enough to do things like that. The image of Rick in his uniform with a flowery book in hand cracked Daryl up. He could see Rick's knee in the middle of a suspect's back with one hand working on tightening the handcuffs, the other hand held a flowery book with a hunky guy, his shirt torn open as he held a pretty girl in his big strong arms. Daryl chuckled at the mental image. "What?" Rick asked a smile on his lips.
"Nothin'." He murmured feeling like telling Rick might lead the man into getting embarrassed and clamming up. That was the last thing Daryl wanted, he liked hearing Rick talk too much to risk that by sharing his mental image of Rick book officer.
They came to some train tracks. Daryl sighed and got to a knee he checked the animal tracks. There were enough fresh animal prints mixed in with the old that could lead to some actual food.
"Hershel said we need a place to stay." Rick started gently, trying to ease into the topic. He didn't need to. Daryl knew where he was trying to lead the conversation. Hell they all did. All this moving around was bad for Lori and the baby. Hershel was right, they needed somewhere to rest for a few weeks where she could safely have the child and recover without constant stress from walkers.
Daryl heard walkers from his right. He scanned the area quickly already on edge and preparing to attack any danger that might be heading their way. He immediately noticed the large building a good distance away from them. It took Daryl less than a second to realize what he was looking at. A prison. A rather large one too. He could see the walkers in jumpsuits slowly shifting across the yard, it reminded Daryl of his numerous visits to the prison he'd made when Merle had been incarcerated. The way the men slowly walked around just waiting for something to happen, it was exactly what the walkers were doing. A rather horrible parody of his old life.
The hunter worried his lip as he watched the scene before him. He remembered wondering why Merle kept making mistakes that landed him back in that cage. After only his second visit to see Merle, Daryl made a mental promise to himself that he would never allow himself to end up in the same place. He vowed to be better than his brother, even if it was only in that one small way. He had made that vow to himself and actually managed to keep it. One of the few, all the rest he was forced to break some way or another though usually it was in order to protect those he cared about.
Though Merle had teased him constantly saying they could have ruled the prison had they gone in together. That no killer or rapist could ever stand up against the Dixon brothers and their rage. Daryl had spent most of his life following his brother around and doing whatever he wanted them to do but that was the one thing he refused to follow along his brother's path. Just looking at the prison gave Daryl a sick feeling in his stomach. His organs and stomach felt stuck together like glue. It felt like a bad omen. He wondered how many prisoners had died without truly understanding what was happening around them? The idea of being locked in a cage while the inmates started dying and tearing each other about suffocated Daryl.
"It's perfect." Rick breathed at his side. Daryl slid his eyes to the side to see the wide almost erratic look in the man's eyes. A slightly strained smile graced his lips. Daryl looked back towards the prison trying to figure out what exactly Rick was talking about. His heart sunk when the realization hit him. He couldn't possibly be thinking of having them stay here. Rick started to walk back the way they came before Daryl's hand shot out and grabbed his arm forcing the man to slow down.
"Wait, wait what?" Daryl tried desperately to convey how he was feeling. His eyes wide but for a different reason than Rick's, he felt a tremble go down his spine at the way Rick kept glancing back to the prison almost like everything had already been decided. Rick was looking at the prison like it was a sanctuary for them. Daryl only saw it as a trap, a cage. It wasn't a home! It was a greater hell than anything they'd ever known so far. "Ya can' be serious… right?" Daryl felt the tremble in his voice at the thought of even considering this place as a possibility.
"Why not?" Rick asked as he looked over at the prison again. "Strong walls, fences around the perimeter, guard towers, and it doesn't look like anyone other than prisoners are in that pen. Meaning it's probably untouched, safe." Rick started counting off all the benefits the place had going for it. Daryl felt like the ground was falling out from under his boots.
"It's a big prison!" He cried. "That means a lot of inmates, lots of walkers! More than we could handle. We run from walkers when there's more than fifteen of them! That prison probably has over a hundred walkers! All of them jammed together in those dark narrow hallways!" Daryl tried to remind the man of the reality of the place, that the prison wasn't safe. To even attempt to make it safe risked everything they had. "I mean look at it! How would ya get inside? How do ya know there isn' a huge hole in the side?"
"It's a prison Daryl it takes more than a few walkers to bring it down. It was built to withstand riots, unless the walkers have bombs or a tank I doubt they'll have made that much of a dent in the structure." Rick narrowed his eyes as he looked at the layout before him. "There would be beds and supplies. Maybe even some food left in a long term storage." The man sounded like it had already been decided.
"No ya think there will be supplies. Ya don' know that! It's a huge risk. We have no idea how long that place stayed operational. They could have used everythin' up tryin' to survive!" Daryl's body was breaking out in a cold sweat as the claws of the prison seemed to be sinking into his chest. He could practically see Merle's gleeful eyes as he whispered.
"All Dixon's end up here. Can' escape it little brother." Daryl shook his head forcing the thoughts from his mind. No! He thought forcefully. He avoided ever going to prison before. He would be damned if he had go to one now. Not when hell was roaming Earth already. He would never be able to live in a prison not after everything that had happened to his family. Not after all the work he'd done to rip free from that life.
"It's the best chance we've had in a long time." Rick whispered. Daryl felt like he'd been slapped. He realized what he'd been missing the whole time he'd been arguing with Rick, the man hadn't once looked at him. His eyes had been locked on the prison only. Rick couldn't see Daryl before him, he couldn't see the man's discomfort, fear, or pain. He couldn't hear it in his voice. Couldn't see how the very suggestion was reaching in deep and tearing the hunter's guts out.
"Can' see or refuses to?" Merle hissed softly. Daryl took a step back as his trembling got worse. Rick wasn't the man standing before him. It was someone else. Someone who looked and talked like his leader but wasn't. This person before him, Daryl didn't know. This man in front of him looked possessed like there was nothing but his goal in his mind. Daryl wondered if the man had even heard his voice at all.
This man in front of him didn't feel like Rick. There was no resolute calmness, no rational leadership. Only a consuming maddening fire burning deep in the man's eyes. Daryl couldn't sense his Rick anywhere in the man standing before him. It felt like he'd been stolen away and replaced by this barely contained insanity and that didn't see reality or safety.
"Rick…" Daryl breathed giving everything he could to break through to the man in front of him. To make him understand why he couldn't ask the hunter to go there. Why it would be the cruelest thing he could do to him. He almost begged Rick to pick somewhere, anywhere else. Almost begged him to listen to him, that he couldn't do this and remain sane. He almost did, but the words died on his lips when Rick spoke.
"There's no time…" Rick whispered his eyes huge as he stared insanely at the giant walls. Daryl knew instantly what he was talking about. There was no time to search for a new safe haven. There was no time to try and look for alternatives. Lori had no time left and the pressure, the need to keep his wife and children safe left him without his normal rational mind. There was no time for him to see the hunter standing before him.
Daryl clenched his fists and closed his eyes. He breathed through his mouth shutting down all the screams and cries in his head. He clamped down the choking sensation, the desperation, and the panic. He buried them deep in his chest where no one would be able to see them. Daryl gathered his frail armor around his trembling mental sanity and opened his eyes.
"Then let's make it happen." He said. Rick finally, finally turned his eyes to the hunter. A smile made Rick look like his old self again, the manic look in his eyes had pulled back slightly.
"This'll work." Rick smile widened as he nodded his resolve firm. Daryl didn't share his elation. He only felt the pain in his gut. He realized that Merle was right like always, Dixon's can't ever escape this fate. He wondered if it was destiny or just the world's ironic sense of justice that the last Dixon alive would be forced into the very cage he'd spent his whole life trying to claw away from.
Rick led them back to the group, a bounce in his step. Daryl kept his gaze down as Rick explained what they had found. The group responded about as well as Daryl thought they would. Half fear and half excitement, they were all wary of trying to take a place they'd never seen. But desperation made them easy to convince. Everyone trusted Rick and his good luck that had led them to safely so far. Daryl pressed against the car kicking some dirt around with his toe. He blocked out the details of the plan. He knew he should be listening but the hunter kept hoping he could put off the reality of their situation for a while longer.
"So that's the plan?" Glenn's voice cut into Daryl's head. He opened his eyes and looked up at the group. They were all looking at Rick who nodded. Daryl couldn't tell if they were more relieved by this find or scared. All he knew was that Rick wanted to get inside the prison, and Daryl would make that happen. One way or another he would get the group into the prison regardless of how he felt about the situation.
The group gathered weapons and light supplies. Stuff they would need regardless of how the whole thing turned out. Daryl grabbed the one thing he knew they'd need, bolt cutters. He led the group back towards the tracks when they were ready. He didn't say anything, couldn't force the words from his mouth. Everyone is more or less silent as well. The only voice he hears was Lori whispering harshly to Carl.
"Stay close to me." She hissed, Daryl wondered if she said that because she wanted to keep him safe or because she wanted him to protect his soon to be born sibling. The hunter came to a stop at the overlook where he and Rick first noticed the prison. Daryl does a quick count of the walkers in the fence and there's at least twenty-five probably more that he can't see from this angle. Too many. That's closer to a herd than to a group.
He examined the whole area trying to work out the best approach for them all. It looked like there was a fence that separated the inner yard from the outside. It made sense the prison guards would probably walk that strip between the two fences to get between the towers and to keep their eyes on the prisoners. He then counted the guard towers, enough to make decent vantage points to see the whole yard and even a good distance away from the prison.
Daryl noticed the biggest problem was the open gate leading from the inner courtyard to the field. The slow trickle of walkers that wandered through that gate could rapidly spiral into a large number that would quickly overwhelm them. Rick was suddenly at his side as the hunter tried to think of a way around this particular problem.
"Well?" He whispered, Daryl glanced sideways knowing Rick was asking for his advice on how to take over the prison not his opinions that they should just turn around and find something easier and safer.
"The fence, if we can get through, it would put us half way into the yard. As long as there's no holes we could stay there and figure out our next move." Daryl pointed out the two fences and the walkway between them. Rick nodded his eyes moving along the path Daryl's fingers made. "The problem is that fence." He led Rick's eye to the big fence and open gate. "It would be risky to have anyone run to the gate and try to close it." Rick bit his lip but his eyes were firm. "Might not be a bad idea to keep some of us back at the cars." The hunter suggested gently. Rick's eyes hardened slightly.
"No if we're going to do this we're all going to do it. Let's get in that fence first. Then we'll worry about the rest. I think I have an idea to get us to the gate anyway." Rick said sharply walking away. He left no room for discussion. Daryl breathed deep and collected himself. Reality was knocking at his door and he couldn't just hide in the closet waiting for it to go away. He stepped up to Rick's side and handed him the bolt cutter.
"Should help." He murmured, holding his crossbow tight. With a nod from Rick, Daryl started leading everyone down the hill. They moved swiftly and quietly, all the months of moving from place to place made the journey almost automatic on their part. Daryl couldn't say he was glad they had such a harsh winter but he did acknowledge that they wouldn't have been able to even attempt this before the farm. They would have all died. Hell the idea of staying in a prison would have never crossed any of their minds at the quarry or the farm.
When the group reached the fence Daryl moved back and let Rick take the lead and start his work on opening the fence. Daryl covered the flank watching each wandering zombie warily making split decisions if they were going to be a danger to them or if Rick would open the fence first.
At Rick's hiss, Daryl moved in and held the chain links apart for the rest of the group to squeeze through. He and Glenn worked rapidly to secure the hole, once it was secure he moved back towards the front ready to bring them in deeper. As they rushed along the walkway, Daryl made rapid counts of how many walkers lined up against the fence. He had hoped that he'd counted wrong and there was less than he originally thought. But luck wasn't on their side and there seemed to be more than he had feared. The hunter pushed those thoughts from his mind, keeping the goal firmly planted in his head.
At the gate which had an overturned bus blocking half of the entry, Rick paced trying to decide the best course of action. Glenn was quick to suggest that he make the run for the fence. Maggie's face turned pale at his words as she tried to convince her lover to reconsider. Daryl took a step forward ready to suggest that he go instead, that he'd be the best one suited for making the run. That it was not only his duty to take the risk for them, but that his death would also have the least of an impact on their group. But before he could open his mouth Rick had made his game plan. He directed Carl and Hershel to one of the towers and Carol and Daryl, himself to the other. He told the rest to pop the walkers through the fence while trying to draw them away from him.
Lori's eyes grew large as she turned to Daryl, blame in her eyes, clearly telling him that he should have volunteered for this mission. Daryl didn't need to be told that, he agreed with her that he should go instead. Daryl licked his lips and took a step towards his leader.
"Rick." He whispered trying to talk sense to the man. "Ya should stay here. I'll go." Rick's impossibly blue eyes cut over to him for a second. His eyes darkened for a brief moment before the emotion passed.
"I need you in the tower."
"But-"
"Daryl." Rick hissed. The hunter recoiled from the angry tone which caused Rick to sigh softly. "There's no one I trust more to have my back." He whispered so soft that even Daryl nearly missed his words. The hunter clenched his fist, knowing what Rick was trying to say to him. He felt that Daryl could keep him safe even from afar, that his back would be protected under the hunter's keen eyes. That Daryl would allow nothing to reach him.
"Run fast. I won' let them touch ya." Daryl murmured quickly but firmly.
"I know." Rick smiled gently not turning his eyes away from the gate before him. Daryl moved quickly to the guard tower. He didn't want to risk being unprepared when Rick started his run. Daryl opened the door which squealed loudly like a stuck pig. The hunter ripped his knife free and plunged it into the eye socket of the walker that had slammed its face against the fence in response to the noise. The delightful pop sound of the eyeball crunching under the pressure gave Daryl a twisted sort of giddiness. He knew it was nerves at the situation but it took his mind off of the reality. At least for a little while.
He moved into the small cramped room which had a metal ladder stuffed against the wall and a worn chair in front of a tiny desk. A locked cabinet sat in the corner. Daryl hoped it was full of guns. He pulled his crossbow over his shoulder and started clambering up the ladder. The hatch in the roof was already open and Carol was standing with her hip pressed against the guardrail. She was shifting nervously holding the gun tight against her body.
"Ya okay?" Daryl asked pulling his bow off his back. He braced a foot against the railing as he leaned over the metal. He checked the number again and made a mental tally of all the walkers that would be in Rick's path. The hunter tried to figure out which walkers he should put down first while simultaneously trying to guess which ones Carl, Hershel, Carol, and Rick himself would bring down on their own.
"Yeah nervous." Carol shrugged holding the rifle with white knuckles. Daryl nodded as he continued to run his mental estimations on how quickly Rick would be able to move and how long it would take him to reload after each shot. The only downside with his crossbow was the reload after every shot. He'd gotten really good at reloading quickly but there was always that fear that he'd be too slow and would make a mistake. "Are you okay?" Carol asked suddenly. She was glancing over at Daryl but her body was ready for the moment Rick would start his sprint. Daryl noticed that Carl and Hershel were still getting ready in the other tower and that was probably what the distraction team was waiting for. This had to go off flawlessly if it was going to work. Rick was a great shot but even he'd be screwed against that many if they decided to go after him instead of the members around the fence.
"I'm fine." Daryl mumbled not looking at her.
"You don't look fine." Carol insisted. Daryl clenched his fists around his crossbow not daring to take his eye off the grounds below him.
"Is now really the time to talk about stuff?"
"Seems like a good time to me. You won't be able to lie while you're trying to keep Rick alive."
"I'm not lyin'." Daryl growled back. He sighed realizing that she wouldn't give up until he answered her. "We worked everythin' out." He mumbled finally.
"Did you?" She questioned, the doubt in her voice clear as the sun.
"Well yeah… Sorta." Daryl shrugged uncertain how to answer the question.
"Lori found out didn't she?" The hunter nodded his cheeks flushing slightly. "I thought so. She's been glaring at you every time you're around." Carol sighed and touched his arm lightly. "It's not fair that she's mad at you."
"Why not? I messed up her marriage."
"It was messed up before you showed up." Carol murmured.
"They got along just fine before I started screwin' them up with my emotions." Carol shook her head, her eyes bright with unshed tears.
"Didn't Rick make the move on you first?" Daryl bit his lip thinking back to that kiss during sunset. Yeah Rick did make the first move, but that was only because Daryl had messed things up in the first place…right? He was to blame, he always was. "Your nature of blaming yourself for everything is both your cutest trait and at the same time the most infuriating." Carol huffed forcing Daryl to look at her. "You can't be blamed for their marriage falling apart. It was on its way well before this hell broke loose."
"How do ya know that?" He pointedly ignored what she said about his habit of blaming himself. He didn't want to hear her words on that subject. He knew it was his fault, his father always made certain that Daryl knew that. Ever since his childhood he knew he was to blame, always.
"It's easy to see a breaking marriage when you've already been in a broken one." Carol's face grew dark. The memories of Ed clearly clouding her mind.
"Ya got away. Ya did better than he ever could have." Carol smiled her eyes returning to their normal bright kind color at the hunter's words.
"Thank you. I guess I did get away didn't I? Not the way I thought I would have back then but…" She exhaled all the pain. "What matters is becoming better and stronger right?" The hunter nodded. "You got better too you know." She smiled her kind all knowing smile. "You got away too." Daryl opened his mouth to respond but he heard banging on the fence.
The run was going to start. Daryl's razor focus returned and he watched the gate open. Rick started off at a slow cautious pace before he broke into a sprint. Daryl felt the explosion of sound from Carol at his side but the sound was dull and muted. He took aim and pierced the eye of a walker that made a grab for Rick's back. He pulled the bow back and reloaded rapidly. He aimed again and shot a walker right through the head before Rick could even raise his gun. The man gave a slight smile and nod before he sprinted off again.
"I didn'." Daryl mumbled reloading again.
"What?" Carol called loudly her hearing a wreck from the sound of the gunfire.
"I didn' get away. I'm still trapped." Daryl told her not pausing in his duty of killing walkers. "Especially being here." His eyes flicked to the prison buildings.
"What do you mean?" Carol paused in her shooting for a second before remembering what was on the line and resuming her careful aim.
"This place… I feel like I'm goin' insane just standin' here."
"Did you tell Rick?"
"I tried he… didn' hear. He…" Daryl hesitated remembering the look in the man's eyes. How he felt like someone Daryl had never met. "Didn' act like himself. Didn' listen. Didn' want to listen to me." Carol's body was shaking slightly and she squeezed the trigger too tight. The shot went wide and struck the ground less than an inch in front of Rick's foot. The hunter jumped, his eyes huge as fear squeezed his lungs. Rick paused and glared their direction.
"Sorry." Carol called but her face was still dark and the apology didn't reach her eyes. Daryl checked for blood in Rick's step. Fear that he'd been hit and was bleeding drawing all walkers to him filled the hunter's veins. But Rick started off again without a limp or a trail of red following his every footstep. Daryl exhaled softly, relief holding him tight. He shot another arrow and started to reload.
"Don' blame him." Daryl mumbled to which Carol responded with a sigh.
"Sorry. I just… He should listen to you at least. You've gotten us through this just as much as he has."
"He's the leader." Daryl replied delicately.
"That doesn't mean he's always right."
"I trust him." Daryl said firmly staring directly into Carol's eyes. Not backing down. She searched his face for a way to argue but when she found no hesitation in his eyes she gave in.
"Okay. I trust you and you trust him. So I have to trust him too." She agreed. Daryl nodded and watched Rick run into the guard tower office. Cupping his mouth Daryl hollered.
"Light it up!" The explosion of bullets rained all around them. The yard filled with walkers as they collapsed to the ground. Finally silence rose after the last body fell. Daryl leaned against the railing and sighed deeply relief filling his chest. Carol leaned next to him.
"I'm sorry. It was dumb of me. I just…" She exhaled. "Lost myself for a moment. I didn't mean to shoot near him." Daryl nodded. He believed her on that but the fact that her anger made her miss so badly worried him.
"Ya need more practice." Carol nodded her head hanging low. "Ya can' let emotions effect yer aim. Especially with a gun. Bad stuff happens when ya lose control." Carol nodded again.
"I know, I'm sorry." Daryl gave her a quick bump on the shoulder.
"Be careful okay?" She hummed in agreement. "But Rick's right ya really have gotten better. Before ya never would have touched a gun. Now though yer aim has gotten real good." Carol's lip twitched.
"I'm sure Rick will take the gun from me after what happened today." Daryl shrugged.
"Maybe maybe not." He rolled his shoulder and eyed the yard below him. "Come on let's head down." She nodded following after the hunter. The warm excited look on everyone's face filled the hunter's whole body with heat. The drained look they all shared was pushed back slightly as everyone celebrated the victory.
"We did it." Beth smiled up at him. He nodded joining her in a grin.
"There's so much room." Hershel said glancing around. His eyes bright. "We could plant some food." He murmured.
"Need to get rid of the bodies first." Daryl mumbled next to the farmer, eyeing the rotting bodies.
"Yes you're absolutely right." His eyes crinkled at the corners. "Imagine having food. Not having to worry about every meal." Daryl nodded with crops they could actually make something of this life.
"We should stay here tonight." Rick said in front of them. "Instead of going back to the cars." Everyone agreed readily and started setting up in a small circle. Maggie and Beth got to work building a small fire. Daryl glanced above him and could see the sun starting to dip in the sky. Not enough time for hunting tonight.
"There should be some squirrel left." The hunter mumbled going through one of the food bags. He pulled out two plump squirrels by their tails.
"Here we can clean them." Beth smiled gently taking them from him. He allowed her to take them but suddenly felt uncertain what he should do now. He glanced at his remaining arrows and knew he'd either need to salvage the old ones or make new ones. Daryl started walking the path pulling arrows out of the squishy skulls. The occasional twitching walker he ended with a sharp stab to the temple. When he reached the bus he heard footsteps slowly trailing behind him. Daryl shifted his hand on his knife automatically. Tension rippled through his back.
"Any of them salvageable?" Rick asked still a good distance away. They'd all learned the hard way to announce themselves when behind the jumpy hunter. He didn't respond well to surprises. Daryl shrugged and leaned against the overturned bus. He watched his leader closely. Rick was smiling lightly. There was still some tension in his face but it had diminished considerably.
"Ya okay?" Rick chuckled.
"I was about to ask you the same thing."
"I'm good. This…" Daryl looked around them. "It feels good, like a real victory." Rick nodded his face warm.
"Exactly. It's been long time since we've had anything this good happen to us." Rick sighed and pressed his back against the bus next to Daryl. He closed his eyes and rested in the calm moment. "Thanks for watching my back." Rick mumbled contently almost sleepily.
"Always." The stillness of the air around them almost tricked Daryl into thinking time had stopped. He was content in this moment. Hope and happiness filled his chest and the sun warmed his face. He let his body relax slightly and allowed his eyelids fall shut. For a moment nothing moved. No sound reached his ears, no screams or panic. Things felt easy and tranquil for once.
Then Daryl felt a slight tugging at his hand. He could feel the heat worming around his pinkie and ring finger as Rick's hand closed around the fingers. He held his fingers with two of his own. Daryl questioned pushing him off and creating distance between them. But Rick didn't push for anything more and Daryl couldn't bring himself to pull away. He was too relaxed, too at peace. The man at his side half the reason he could feel so at ease.
Daryl would deny it if anyone asked but the reality was he felt as close as he could to things being good at this moment. The joy from the group and the warmth in his hand was enough happiness to fill Daryl completely.
The moment shattered like frozen glass as Glenn came sprinting down the hill. Rick broke their hands apart. His hand sliding back to his side of the bus. The heat evaporated so quickly Daryl almost wanted to grab Rick's fingers again in a vain attempt to prolong the moment. But he forced himself to focus.
"I was thinking we should get the cars and bring them here. So if worse comes to worse we can use them." Rick nodded along with Glenn's plan as Daryl shoved his hands under his arms. He was leaving it up to Rick to decide but if they did go back for the cars he knew he'd be the one to lead them back.
"Daryl?"
"Hm?"
"Are you willing to head back?" He nodded pushing off the car.
"Let's do it." Glenn grinned and waved over Maggie and T-Dog.
"So shall we get them?" T-Dog asked giving Daryl a broad grin. The hunter nodded.
"Let's go. We need to be back before nightfall." He told Rick. Rick agreed giving a firm look to each of them.
"Stay safe."
Daryl led the smaller group back through the wood towards the cars. They reached the vehicles quickly and followed Daryl's bike back to the prison road. As the sun started to set Daryl could see the outline of the prison against the horizon. He felt that heavy pit in his stomach again. The elation from earlier was a fleeting memory in his mind. Looking at the prison a cold sweat broke over Daryl's back. He struggled to breathe as the memory of seeing his brother trapped in a cell haunted behind his eyes. He couldn't share the joy in being at the prison. His brother's laugh echoed too deep in his mind.
"Good people don' survive in prison Daryl. They either die or they leave the same monsters they tried to kill on the outside. There is no salvation in prison. Only knives waiting to tear ya open." Daryl shivered against a chill and prayed that for once Merle was wrong. That the darkness looming in his mind meant nothing for their survival.
Well it has been a long time! Again sorry super super sorry. I've been really busy with classes and keeping things going in group projects. But every time I have a moment to breathe I'm working on this little story! I thank everyone for being patient with me and how long I've been taking. I also want to thank everyone who's reviewed (massive huge thank you!) and also thank you to everyone who's followed and favorited this story. It really makes me so happy and during these tough nights where I'm at school until close to 11pm it really helps give me an energy boost!
I'd love to hear what you all thought of this chapter. It's the first real look into season 3 that I've done. I'm excited to go into season 3! There's a ton of places I'd love to expand upon and really flush out Daryl and Rick's relationship. All the other relationships as well but mostly theirs... (isn't that why we're here? lol.) So please let me know what you guys think. I'm trying to stay away from doing too much rehashing of the actual episodes but pieces of it will still probably make it in just to give me the ability to look deeper at the moments we don't see in the season. (yeah I'm rambling.) Hopefully my explanation makes sense? Basically I'm excited!
Anyway! I hope to see you all in chapter 22! Please review if you have time! Thank you again and hopefully once finals are over I can start releasing chapters more often. Until next time!
Side note wasn't that season 4 finale awesome? Sooo many places I'd love to dig deeper in. Hopefully I'll be able to bring the story there soon!
