Night had fallen and the group retired around a small fire to relax and eat. The only ones not resting at the fire was Rick who was busy walking the perimeter looking for weaknesses in the fence. A deep concerned look cemented in his blue eyes. He seemed completely gone in his thoughts unaware of the world around him.
In a similar position was the only other man removed from the group. Daryl stood pacing atop the overturned bus. His focus on the vast forest before him. He refused to look behind him towards the prison. The dark looming presence oppressive and strangling him. He was lost in his own thoughts as he paced. Questions of could this really be a place for them to live in, swirled in his head. What about the walker inmate population? How many could they expect to kill before the place was empty? Would they really be safe here? Was there really supplies inside?
"Daryl a hand?" Carol asked from below him. It woke the hunter from his mental clutter. He reached down and helped pull the thin woman onto the bus. She handed him a small bowl of food. He munched the thin pieces of meat quickly finally bringing his eyes towards the fire for a quick moment. He could see Lori with almost double the amount of food as everyone else. The hunter made a soft tease about it and Carol chuckled giving him a look. "Rick's gotten us a lot farther than I ever thought he would I'll give him that." Daryl flicked his eyes towards the man pacing the fence. Rick's strong frame didn't waver as he walked. "Shane could never have done that." She continued.
"Shane would have gotten us all killed." Her worried blue eyes glanced up at him.
"What do you mean?" He shrugged.
"It's the different way they treat the group. Rick sees all of us as family. Ever'one is important to him. He would do anything to keep us all safe." The hunter rolled his shoulders trying to piece his words together in his mouth. "But Shane at the end he started treating ever'one like enemies, like we couldn' be trusted. Or worse like we were all just human shields."
"You don't really believe that do you?" Carol asked shock coloring her voice and face.
"No I know that's how he felt. His only goal was keepin' Lori and Carl safe. Ever'one who stood in his way was just an obstacle, even Rick. Especially Rick." Carol worried her lip deeply distressed.
"He always seemed so in control at the quarry."
"But he started to fall apart at the farm didn' he?" She nodded after a moment's hesitation. "He wanted to lead us into more danger by headin' to the fort. More than that he wanted us to give up on findin'…" Daryl trailed off, he remembered hearing Shane's angry voice trying to convince Rick they should stop looking for Sophia. Daring to use him and his injury as an excuse. Had he not been numb from the waist down Daryl would have jumped up to strangle the man and tell him to stop being such a pussy and to butt out of things that didn't concern him.
Daryl never liked Shane, didn't trust him. He imagined the guy was probably decent before the walkers, but after things slowly started to eat at the man, mentally. He wasn't sure if it was because of the stress of keeping everyone alive or the fact that Rick's return took Lori from him. It was probably a combination that lead to his downfall. But his fixation on Lori and Carl clearly held him together, the pseudo family he'd created around himself kept Shane sane.
But when Rick returned and took his family back Shane started to slip. Though Daryl suspected he was the only one who noticed, and it only really came to a head after Shane murdered Otis. Regardless Daryl didn't doubt that Shane would have kept them all around until he decided they were a liability for him and his little family. That was the big difference between him and Rick.
"Well regardless I'm glad Rick's in charge." Carol changed the subject quickly. "He's worked hard to keep us all alive." Daryl nodded again and watched Carol shift her shoulders. He realized it had to be the kickback from the rifle. He made a mental note to find a better weapon for her slender frame. Since she was smaller than most of them a melee weapon might be better, Daryl thought as he rubbed her shoulder trying to work the tension out of the stiff muscles. "Want to screw around?" She teased him after he let her go. Daryl scoffed quirking an eyebrow. Carol grinned impishly back at him.
The hunter realized that before all this he would have been embarrassed and would have reacted badly, aggressively in self-defense. But right now the chuckle shared between them felt natural and easy. Carol felt safe to him. A friend who had shared the same corner of darkness that he'd spent most of his life in. She was what he imagined having an older sister would be like. Teasing yet comforting, but he could see in her eyes that she meant nothing more than to tease him. The lack of expectation reassured him even more. It was a nice change, he was so used to people expecting him to act a certain way even if that way was only a bad way. As they started walking towards the fire he shot her a quick glance.
"I'll get ya back for that." He joked.
"Oh! I'm scared. You'll have to make a run to a party store for fake vomit and shocking pens." Carol's eyes were bright issuing him a challenge. Daryl grinned, liking the idea of actually having the time to rest long enough to be able to get some revenge pranks in. Once they reached the fire Beth's gentle voice reached Daryl's ears. He listened silently as Maggie joined her sister in song. Daryl wouldn't lie he enjoyed listening to the pair, it was a nice reminder of how things could still improve if they kept their hopes up. Carol smiled softly at him clearly feeling as he did. She nudged him slightly in the ribs a teasing look in her eyes. He raised his eyebrow just daring her to try and make fun of him. She shook her head agreeing that this was a time to enjoy their hard fought peace.
They settled at the fire with everyone once the song had finished, Rick started detailing his plan to overtake the inner courtyard of the prison. Daryl eyed the buildings wondering if they really held the treasures Rick suggested they would. The idea of weapons did appeal to the hunter though, especially with their dwindling ammo reserves.
He still felt that clenching in his gut when he stared at the buildings but he was working hard at overcoming his fears and accepting that this was the reality he was faced with. If Rick wanted them to take over the prison tomorrow, Daryl would be there leading the charge.
Everyone started to relax and slip into sleep after realizing there would be no rest for them tomorrow. The happy feeling was replaced with nervous whispers and worried looks. Everyone clearly wondering which of them would be going in and if it would be as smooth as taking over the yard had been.
Daryl stared at the Milky Way miles above him. He remembered how years ago he'd have to go into the middle of the woods to get even a glimpse of the sky looking like this, now though without power and city lights to drown the stars, every night was full of thousands of glittering lights. Daryl added it to his small list of things he enjoyed about the changed world. He figured it was important to remember that despite all things he actually found some things were better in this new world than the old. It helped him to stay in the here and now, rather than constantly lamenting over lost luxuries of the past.
Daryl closed his eyes, listening to the soft breathing of the group and groans from the walkers. A strange sort of lullaby that's for sure, he thought. But before sleep officially claimed him, he heard Lori and Rick talking in harsh whispers. He could hear the anger and annoyance in Rick's voice as he snapped out short clipped responses. Lori on the other hand held a desperate pleading tone. She suggested they wait to take the prison. Rick did not respond well to that suggestion. Their conversation ended with Rick storming off and Lori reluctantly returning to the group.
The hunter felt his back burn as she glared at him before settling behind Carl, who she tried to pull to her but the boy rebuffed his mother and moved closer to the hunter's feet. Daryl watched as Lori hugged herself looking utterly miserable and alone. That image stuck in his mind giving him a restless night full of angry hisses and hurt eyes caught behind indomitable iron bars of a cage.
Morning broke quickly and Daryl found himself one of the first awake. The night hadn't been particularly kind and he was glad to be awake and able to move his trembling limbs. The hunter preferred action to being trapped helpless in his merciless nightmares. He stepped away silently letting everyone sleep a little longer.
Daryl went to the parked cars figuring he could check on their ammo and food situation. Rick had mentioned they'd have to go in hand to hand. But Daryl was hoping he'd find a hidden box of ammo somewhere that could change the odds in their favor, if it really came down to that. When he opened the side door he saw pressed into the passenger seat was Rick. The hunter hadn't realized that the man had slept away from them. He didn't really blame him but the fact that Daryl had fallen asleep before he realized it made the hunter realize how exhausted he truly was. It wasn't like him to not be aware of stuff like that.
Daryl tried to quickly open the bag without waking Rick up but the man stirred after a second, his eyes flickered open. Rick blinked a few times to clear the exhaustion from his mind before he looked at Daryl with a small smile.
"Morning."
"Mornin'." Rick cracked his back and stretched. "Ya could sleep a little longer, it's still early."
"Nah its fine." Rick mumbled leaning his tall frame over the seat to watch Daryl rummage through the bag. "Whatcha looking for?"
"Ammo."
"Hm." Rick mumbled and suddenly a warm palm was touching Daryl's face. The hunter's cheeks flushed as Rick pushed his disheveled hair out of his eyes and behind his ears. "We don't have any ammo left." Rick said his fingers lingering on Daryl's face. He brushed his long digits against the hunter's red ears, teasing him lightly. Rick traced the shell of Daryl's ear slowly and ran a nail against the sensitive skin of his tender throat. Daryl froze not sure how to respond. His heart was pounding but he didn't want to pull away either.
"Then we need to consider who goes in with us." Daryl struggled to keep his voice steady.
"Yeah." He nodded as Rick traced Daryl's strong throat, running across the pulse points slowly. A shiver rocked through the embarrassed hunter. He almost expected Rick to try and lick his ears, Rick's deep lustful eyes hinted at the ideas that were less than clean spinning through his mind. Daryl swallowed torn between wanting to beg for more and trying to maintain his composure. "Any suggestions?" Rick asked pulling away suddenly. His eyes serious as he returned to the leader Rick mode, though Daryl noticed there was an obviously pleased look in the man's eyes as he took in Daryl's heated face and nearly trembling body.
"Glenn and Maggie?" Daryl suggested shaking his head as he returned to focusing on the moment. Now was not the time to think about stupid things especially whatever joke Rick thought he was making at the hunter's expense. It was definitely not the time to be wondering what Rick really got out of touching his ears and face like he did, and he certainly did not need to think about how he missed being alone with Rick when they could explore each other's bodies fully. Hell they didn't even have that kind of relationship anymore… right?
"I was thinking T-Dog too." Rick said cutting into Daryl's pondering of their relationship.
"If we're goin' to be goin' in without guns we might want to keep it small." The hunter suggested realizing with horror he was thinking like a horny teenager wanting to suddenly suggest they give each other some release consequences be demanded. He was an adult dammit he did not have time to let his emotions and dick rule over his actions.
"I agree. Tight formation covering each other's backs." Daryl leaned against the frame of the car door.
"Is this what ya were thinkin' last night while ya were checkin' the fences?" He asked the thing that had been bothering him since Rick gave his plan yesterday.
"Yeah, I was getting a count of the walkers and if there were any other open doors that could lead into the prison." Daryl nodded, he had no idea Rick was looking for a way to make this plan work before he even suggested it. But it sounded like him, though Daryl had wished he'd included him on the planning stage. They noticed things the other didn't. Daryl could look at things in a completely different way than Rick could. It helped them to cover as many of the dangers as they possibly could.
"So the five of us?"
"Yep."
"Do we have any more of those energy bars?"
"I think so." Rick handed him a small bag. Daryl pawed through it until he found a handful of energy bars.
"It'll make for a quick breakfast right?" Rick eyed them as Daryl noticed that there wasn't enough for all of them.
"It'll have to do." Rick sighed taking five of them from Daryl and pocketing them. The hunter shoved the extra two in his own pocket. He knew Rick was intending to give the food out himself. Daryl would rather be the one to do it, it felt right for everyone to stare at him with their painful longing eyes when he wasn't able to provide enough food for all of them. It helped the hunter to push himself to do better next time. Despite how badly those looks ripped him open on the inside. But for some reason, on those days where there just wasn't enough, Rick was usually the one who took the food from him and handed it out personally. Daryl couldn't understand why Rick wouldn't let them blame him like they should. For some reason Rick always tried to protect him from their upset hungry eyes.
"I guess." Daryl mumbled staring at the little food they still had left with sad eyes, the feeling of failure deep in his gut.
"Let's grab the weapons too. So that we can get started." Rick said taking one of the big bags in hand. Daryl followed taking the other one figuring everyone could pick their favorite while leaving enough for the group at the fence to kill the stragglers that got too close. The march back to the group was quick, both men were mentally preparing themselves for the mission. "Morning." Rick greeted everyone, they were all in various states of alertness. "Glenn, Maggie, T-Dog up for joining us?" He asked giving each of them a hard stare. He was giving them a chance to refuse but each nodded in turn without hesitation. The hunter wasn't surprised, they weren't the types to refuse just because it was dangerous. They'd proved that time and time again.
As the group psyched themselves up for the upcoming fight Daryl found himself looking at the large building before him. The sunlight hit off a window nearly blinding him. He saw a face peering at him. For a moment Daryl thought he saw Merle looking down on him.
Daryl saw the prison and all he could think of was his childhood. The trips to various prisons around the state. Seeing his brother locked behind bars. Some days his face looked so sunken and twisted, it felt like his brother had gone missing and someone was wearing a suit made out of his skin. Other times it looked like everything was perfectly normal almost like his brother belonged there. Like he was in charge and understood the nature of all things while he was trapped in that cage.
Daryl hated the prison. Hell he hated all prisons. They represented too much of his childhood for him not to hate them. He hated the twisting feeling that he really had end up there like his brother, father, uncles and all the other members of the Dixon clan. Staring at the prison now it felt like his past was reaching out trying to claim him and Daryl found he had nowhere to run. The claws of his past sinking into his back.
"Can' fight fate." Merle hissed in his ear. Daryl glanced sideways to see if the group reacted to the sudden arrival of his brother. No one had even looked their way. There was no shocked faces or even concern in the eyes of his group. He realized that this too must all be in his head. He wasn't sure if it should alarm or comfort him.
But Merle in any form would help him to man up and pull his 'nuts out of his purse' at the same time Merle didn't usually appear around others especially during the day. The question of if he was slipping more than he realized worried the hunter. Was he going to be able to hold it together if he was already falling apart? Could he trust himself? Could the group? He didn't feel crazy but isn't that how everyone who's crazy feels?
"Go away." Daryl growled desperately, hoping Merle would leave yet at the same time pathetically hoping his brother would stay just for a little longer. The sticky almost glue like feeling in his stomach made his insides recoil. It felt like the organs and stomach lining were sticking together, tied in one messy bow.
"Don' say that little brother." Merle teased his hand on Daryl's smaller shoulder. "Yer the one who wanted me here." Daryl shuddered at the thought. He couldn't remember having called for Merle. That wasn't a Dixon way of handling things. Calling for his brother like a bitch didn't sound like something he would do before or after he'd lost Merle in Atlanta. "Ya haven' explained what this place is doin' to ya, have ya?"
"Nothin' to explain." Daryl mumbled lowly trying to keep his voice caught in the air between him and Merle.
"Really?" Merle's hand tightened on his shoulder. The pressure reaching damn near painful. "Then why am I here? This place isn' a stabilizin' element for ya. How long do ya think ya will be able to last here?"
"Doesn' matter." Daryl returned firmly, realizing he was right. The group couldn't just turn away because he was having a pathetic memory induced mental break down. They needed this. Before it didn't seem possible to take the prison but standing on the grounds Daryl knew it was right in their grasp, they just needed to reach a little more. There was no reason for him to try and force them away, not now, not when it was the first real thing they could call their own. He would make it work. There were grounds and towers he could sleep in until he was ready to actually stay inside, to face his past. He would make it work.
"Welcome to the abyss." Merle mumbled softly.
"What do ya mean?" He shot back turning his head slightly towards his brother.
"Daryl?" The hunter jumped his heart racing at the firm hand on his right shoulder. The hand felt stronger and more real than Merle's but the pressure was much lighter than his brother's had been. Daryl felt like he'd been thrown out a window, reality smashed back into his body when he hit the ground. Rick looked at him, concern written in his deep blue eyes. Daryl couldn't feel Merle at his side anymore, he didn't hear his brother's whisper in his mind either. "You okay?" Rick asked staring at the hunter close trying to figure out what was wrong with him.
"'Course." He mumbled standing up straighter. He licked his lip at the unconvinced expression on his leader's face. "Are we ready to go?" The man nodded but Daryl could feel Rick's eyes on his back the whole time they walked toward the gate. Glenn, Maggie, and T-Dog were fingering their weapons adrenaline already working its way through them. Daryl pulled out his knife and held it in his free hand while keeping his crossbow ready on his back. Rick gave him one more quick look before deciding it was time to make their move.
The gate opened with a clatter and they moved in slowly as a unit. Daryl responded automatically when Rick called his name, knowing he meant for the hunter to kill the walker that reached for them. He did so with a quick jab of his knife. Rick didn't even have to explain what he wanted from Daryl. He could tell even without words what Rick desired from him and the hunter was always ready to do whatever his leader wanted him to. Merle would have called him nothing but a submissive dog obeying his master's every command. He could almost hear his brother's laugh on the wind. Daryl pushed the thoughts from his mind, and focused on the task at hand.
They moved cautiously each step forward from Rick was echoed by Daryl taking a step backward keeping tight together. They only broke off slightly to kill a walker that approached them. Daryl kept close to the back watching to make sure no walkers surrounded them. He heard T break from them to grab a riot shield, Rick hissed that they needed to stay close to each other. Daryl pressed closer, in response, not wanting to be the one who left them vulnerable.
A swear from Rick and suddenly they pressed against the wall. Daryl didn't need to see what Rick saw to know it was bad. He yanked his crossbow forward and inched a step guarding the group as best as he could. Daryl noticed in the far corner two walkers clad in riot gear. Perfect just perfect, he thought taking another step forward bracing his arm taking aim. He hoped he could snipe them from afar through the exposed part of their helmets and bring down at least one of the walkers.
Unexpectedly two more riot walkers lurched towards them changing the hunter's plan instantly. He took aim at the closer of the pair and shot hoping the pressure behind his arrow at such a close range would be able to break through the tough plastic or at the very least stun the beast. The dull thud as the arrow bounced off ruined that plan. Daryl clicked his tongue as he backed up to pull his knife out again. Rick and T tried to batter the heavy walkers back with their weapons but to no avail.
The hunter bashed a walker in the face with his crossbow before stabbing her. The cold sweat in his stomach grew when he realized what he'd just put down. He'd felt the long hair and knew instantly how bad this was. A female in a male prison, worse she was dressed in ordinary clothes. The prison wasn't secure he realized, their whole plan could fall apart instantly. They had gone in assuming it was just prisoners but if there were other walkers then they could be overrun in a matter of minutes. There was either an opening somewhere leading outside the prison or there were more walkers in the prison than they had originally guessed.
Rick's desperate panicked voice calling his name made the hunter move without thought. His body jumped to Rick's aid automatically. He sprinted to the man's side in time to see him tackle a riot walker and make for the open gate before them. Behind the gate was Daryl's very fear materialized before his own eyes. A horde of walkers just waiting to pounce on them. Adrenaline raced through the hunter's blood. They'd be screwed if they joined the other walkers. There would be no escape for any of them against that many.
Daryl stabbed a walker, dropping him without a second to spare as he moved to his leader's side. Rick kicked a walker back into the wall of corpses sending the others sprawling, like a rotting set of dominoes. Daryl didn't have a moment to be impressed, instead he slammed the gate shut and braced his body against it trying to keep the gate secure against the pressure of walkers trying to rip through to reach their meal. Rick fumbled with the clips struggling to seal the gate. The hunter hissed feeling the fingers of the dead brushing against his hands. He clenched his jaw putting more force on the gate, he tried not to think about what would happen if one of them decided to lean down and take a bite out of his digits.
Finally Rick clasped the clips tight, sailing the gate shut. Having no time to celebrate the hunter moved to help with the riot garbed walkers. By the time he rejoined Maggie, Glenn, and T had managed to kill one of them. Daryl half hopped on top of the tall walker in front of him forcing its head down where he could plunge his knife into the brain from the nape of the neck. He followed the beast down to the ground making double sure he had successfully killed the bastard. Ripping his knife out splattered blood on his hands. More to join his already black stained hands. Everything on him stunk of rotten eggs and the putrid blood scent that clung to the walkers. Maggie started to lead them back towards the gate before Rick called her to stop. The look of elation evaporated from Glenn, Maggie, and T's eyes.
Rick had realized as Daryl had that this place wasn't as secure as they had originally thought. Daryl stared at the female he'd killed thinking how things could never be easy for them.
"We have to push in." Rick said leading them to one of the block buildings. Daryl opened the doors at Rick's signal. They moved slowly and cautiously forward into the dark building, not taking any chances. The stale air almost suffocated Daryl. His eyes watered at the stench of death and desperation. It was a smell caked into the walls. From years of pain and fear before any of this happened. It was dark but enough light flooded in from the windows for them to see.
He checked the corners and the gates, which were all locked. Rick meanwhile checked the security box. Daryl glanced up to see Rick holding some keys up to him. Daryl nodded taking it as a sign that they would move in deeper and that Rick didn't need him to come crashing up the stairs to provide backup. The hunter led them to the gate with a giant C painted over it. He took the lead, keeping his bow at the ready, the last thing they needed was to get swarmed in such a small area with no room to maneuver.
There was crap thrown all over the hallway, it looked like a riot had broken out. The first few cells were open but the dead bodies inside had clearly been shot through the head. Though if it was before they turned to walkers or not, wasn't obvious. Daryl wasn't certain he wanted to know what happened first. He didn't want to think about how people would tear each other apart when things got bad enough. Had the guards shot the unturned prisoners as fear and desperation reached a boil? Or had they waited until it was already too late for the prisoners?
Daryl couldn't imagine which was worse being trapped in a cage as the guards prepared to kill you. Or would being trapped in a cage as the hungry growls of the dead surrounded you with no hopes of escape.
The hunter moved up the stairs making that his priority while Rick checked the gate on the other end of the hall. A clattering at his back told him that Rick had run up the stairs to cover him. Daryl couldn't suppress the smile on his lips at having Rick at his side, where he should be. They naturally moved to each other's back, like the only place either of them felt really comfortable was covering the other. It was just natural for them at this point. He never had to worry when Rick was at his side and Daryl suspected Rick felt the same way. They fit together, they didn't need words to help guide them to move in sync. A look was all Daryl and Rick needed to convey the plan between them.
The clang of walkers slamming against their locked cages grabbed the men's attention. Rick raised an eyebrow at him and Daryl responded by taking the one on the left. They dispatched them at the same time the knives sinking in together, completely in sync like a messed up Olympic sport. Their eyes brightened as they shared a smirk. The obvious relief from Rick allowed Daryl to share in the moment. His leader handed him a set of keys.
"What are these?" Daryl asked staring at all the jangling pieces of metal.
"Guard keys, they should open every door in this place. One set for me and one for my most trusted right hand man." Daryl clenched the ring, his heart pounding. He'd never ever heard anyone speak of him that way. He'd never been trusted enough to be a right hand man. He never thought he'd be anything of worth to anyone, especially to a man like Rick. Daryl swallowed the emotions he was feeling back down his throat where they boiled low in his gut.
"It looks like everything is clear." Rick said while Daryl continued staring at the keys. "Glenn. Maggie. Go let everyone know that we've cleared this block." They both jumped at the chance to not be the ones who would have to drag the bodies out of the rooms. "Make sure they bring some supplies!" Rick called after them. Daryl took the keys in his hand worked them into the keyhole, so he could drag the first walker out by its ankle. He hauled it over to the railing where it smashed into the ground below. T-Dog gave a quick yelp and glared at the hunter.
"Look out below?" Daryl gave a cheeky grin. T shook his head but there was a tiny smile on his lips.
"I should climb up there and smack you!"
"Please do, that means I could take a break right? But if ya do that means ya must really want to handle these walkers huh?" T chuckled.
"Oh no I wouldn't dare steal your fun. I know how much you love handing all the dead things!" He waved his hand moving back into one of the cells. The sound of a body being dragged reached Daryl's ears.
"There's plenty of rooms for all of us." Rick said looking around at all the free cells. Daryl paused his hands on the old pants of the walker in front of him. He had to bite back his response that these were cages not rooms. The hunter started pushing the body over the railing. Rick's hands quickly joined his and they shoved the body over the metal. The hard squish sound was completely satisfying. "We can make this work." Rick kept talking at the hunter. Key word at. Daryl wasn't voicing his feelings but Rick didn't seem to notice it at all.
"Rick." Daryl whispered trying to explain how he was feeling before Rick could even turn to him the door opened and the voices of the group reached them. Daryl bit his words back, clamping the emotions down in his chest. Rick smiled at him an almost peaceful expression on his features. Daryl couldn't bring himself to speak. The group questioned the safety of the cellblock. Rick explained how tomorrow they'd go after the cafeteria and armory. But the hunter was only half listening.
Everyone started moving towards the cells and Daryl felt a cold sweat break over his back at the thought of staying in those tiny claustrophobic cells. He had a sudden terrifying thought that maybe the group brought him here to abandon him. That they were just waiting for him to enter one so they could lock the door behind him. Daryl licked his lip knowing that he was being paranoid but the words left his mouth before he could stop them.
"I ain' sleepin' in no cage." No one gave him a second glance when he said he'd sleep on the walkway. He dragged a mattress to the perch and collapsed against it. The adrenaline from the day had left him and his body felt weary and weak. Daryl covered his eyes with his forearm but he knew he wouldn't be getting much sleep. The group was whispering amongst themselves at the luck and fortune they'd had with this place.
Daryl didn't want to think about the prison, the smell alone was enough to drive him half insane. As everyone started to settle Daryl shifted the stale smells and foreign sounds made the hunter uncomfortable and on edge. He moved restlessly the pad squeaking with each move. He turned onto his side and could see Rick collapsed on the floor his eyes vacant as he stared at the wall before him. The man barely appeared to be breathing, he was so lost in thought. Daryl stared at him for a minute wondering what Rick's touches on his face earlier in the car had really meant. He was just messing around with him right? Rick wouldn't do anything now that he and Lori were on the mend right?
Daryl found a small part of him almost hoping Rick did want to pick up where they'd left off. Daryl crushed those feelings down. He suddenly felt like he understood what all those singers and authors meant when they talked about love. That the mind might realize the love is impossible but the heart refuses to catch on.
The hunter sighed feeling like the walls were pressing in on him. There was no way he could stay here and hope to get any kind of rest. He sat up and moved quietly down the stairs. No one called out to him as he moved. He hoped everyone was asleep and wouldn't notice or question his departure. Daryl almost made it to the gate until Rick's hand snapped out and grabbed his pant leg. Daryl quirked an eyebrow at Rick when he didn't release him.
"Where are you going?" He asked after staring at the hunter in silence for nearly a minute.
"Out. Thought I'd grab some stuff." Daryl shrugged hoping he wouldn't have to explain how this place was making him feel. It was one thing to tell Rick alone it was a completely different thing to tell him within earshot of the whole group. The last thing they needed was to think he was coming unhinged. He couldn't bear the thought of them suddenly treating him like he didn't have their best interest at heart.
Rick stared at him hard for a moment his eyes probing the hunter's face. Daryl resisted the urge to shift realizing it would make him look guilty. Sure there wasn't much use for Rick's interrogation skills lately but that didn't mean he couldn't still recognize a liar when he saw one, something that Daryl was keenly aware of. Rick rose to his feet slowly and cracked his neck.
"I'll come with you." The hunter froze not expecting that response. He had hoped to spend some time on his own until he could resume his façade of normalcy. Daryl struggled to find a good way to let Rick know that he needed to be on his own. But before he could even work any words up his throat Rick was holding the door open for him. Daryl sighed and followed his leader out, they stepped into the cool evening air. One breathe in and Daryl felt like he could breathe again. The tension bled out of his muscles in an instant. Rick's smile in the corner of his eye caught his attention.
"What?" He growled suspiciously.
"Nothing." Rick hesitated before shaking his head. "This feels good. This victory."
"Hm." Daryl hummed not really agreeing or disagreeing.
"Tomorrow we'll secure more of the prison then start moving the bodies." Rick already said making a plan. Daryl felt his gaze being dragged over towards the forest. The woods looked so inviting and peaceful miles away from this stone prison. "If you wanted you could go." Rick's soft voice in his ear made the hunter jump slightly.
"W-what?" He stuttered struggling to calm his rapidly beating heart.
"You look like you want to go hunt. You've got that look in your eyes again." Rick smiled kindly. Daryl flushed under his gaze.
"What look?" He mumbled not enjoying the idea of someone being able to figure him out so easily. Rick rubbed his chin for a moment thinking.
"You get this sort of faraway longing in your eyes like you're here but you don't really want to be. But when you're out there, Daryl" Rick pointed at the trees "you seem so alive like you're truly happy and in your element." Rick chuckled. "Though you look pretty natural killing walkers too."
Daryl couldn't find the words to argue, he did feel better when he was doing the things he was used to. Killing walkers was like hunting only more dangerous. He had a natural aptitude for it. "Though…" Rick leveled his deep blue eyes at him. "You used to look similar when we talked together." Rick admitted quietly "You looked like you didn't mind spending time with me. Now though you just look like you can't wait for a reason to escape."
Daryl scuffed the ground with his foot. He didn't want to admit it but Rick was right, before it had felt natural to be around him but lately he just kept waiting for someone to tell him off. Daryl felt like he was always on edge just in case someone like Lori would get the wrong impression and he managed to make things terrible for everyone again. It made spending time with the man stressful. At one time he had felt relaxed, now he felt caught between this limbo of wanting things to be the way they were before and knowing they couldn't be. "Daryl?" Rick called him softly hesitation deep in his voice. "Could we talk for a moment?"
"That's what we're doin' now." The hunter shrugged. Rick looked almost frustrated with the hunter's indignant response. His eyebrows crinkled unhappily.
"I just…" Rick sighed deeply and covered his eyes. Daryl shifted uncomfortably uncertain what to do. He thought of going back inside thinking that maybe Rick would prefer to be on his own for a while. Suddenly Rick dropped his hand and took a step closer to the hunter. "I'm done trying to ease my way into this discussion. I keep hoping you'll understand what I've been trying to tell you but clearly you won't." Daryl startled by the man's sudden intense shift in mood tried to scramble backwards. He moved to stalk away but Rick's hand shot out like lighting and grabbed his whole arm in a vice lock. The hunter twisted struggling to wrench his arm free.
"Let go." He hissed his eyes narrowing dangerously.
"Only if you agree not to run." Rick stared hard, his whole body tense as he slowly released Daryl. There was no doubt in the hunter's mind that Rick would tackle him if he tried to escape. Daryl glared holes into the ground as he rubbed the throbbing limb. "Let's go talk up there." Rick said nodding towards one of the guard towers. He didn't pick the one closest to the buildings like the hunter thought he would have, instead he moved towards the one on the far right. It was as far away from the prison as it could possibly get without actually leaving the grounds. Daryl obediently (albeit grudgingly) followed his leader as he yanked the door open. "Doesn't smell too bad." Rick smiled trying to lighten the mood. "The last one smelt like an egg melted over a cesspool for a decade." He continued to try and improve the hunter's attitude. Daryl huffed softly.
"Ya sure have a way with words." Rick chuckled heading towards the ladder.
"How would you say it?"
"Smells like shit roastin' over vomit in a furnace of rotten walker guts mixed with piss water." Rick made a face scowling at the mental image.
"Thanks… really." Daryl shrugged but couldn't hide the small smile. He followed the man up the ladder. The tower was surprisingly empty. No corpses undead or otherwise. It was small but Daryl didn't mind much. It felt safer than the cages did anyway. The room smelt clean overall if not a little musty. Rick opened one of the doors and a pleasant breeze entered the area. Daryl inhaled feeling like he could actually enjoy sleeping in this room. He could smell the trees and stream on the wind, provided he ignored the ripe smell of rotting flesh that reached his nose first. "This is pretty nice." Rick mused. "We could probably turn it into a look out." He grinned at Daryl. "Once we finish cleaning of course."
"I'd say the two over lookin' the road would be better for lookouts." Daryl said pointing them out to his leader. "It's really the only way to get in here after all." Rick nodded and leaned against the railing next to him. A warm hand stroked a line down the hunter's throat. Daryl shivered at the sensation. He shot a glare Rick's direction but the man looked unapologetic as he ran another finger down the same line of sensitive tendons.
"Can you believe only a few days ago I was sucking right here?" Rick whispered drumming the especially sensitive part of Daryl's throat with a finger. Daryl swallowed trying to keep his body under control. It wasn't working very well.
"Rick." He warned shrugging his shoulders up and forcing the man's fingers away from his neck. Rick looked momentarily hurt by the action but he recovered quickly.
"I told you I wanted to talk remember?" The hunter nodded trying to guess what was on Rick's mind but he was a closed book as usual. "I want to continue where we were before." Daryl sighed and closed his eyes. He had hoped Rick would leave that topic alone. They couldn't just pretend things were normal anymore. Daryl knew it. Rick knew it. Daryl felt like it was just another part of being a Dixon. That he'd have to reject the man a second time. That he had to be the mature one and refuse even though he wanted to do nothing of the sort.
Daryl let the breeze take his mind for a moment. He wondered if things would have been different if he and Rick had met in a better time and place without all the dead, would things have changed for them? Would they have been friends? Would they still have worked the steps out to slowly reach a point where they could share a part of themselves with the other? Would Rick have agreed they fit together? Daryl imagined a life a world away where there was no pain and no death, where they could sit by a river holding hands and just let nature fill the silence between them. Would they have traveled together deciding it was better to explore the world at each other's side?
He let the breeze whisper of them sharing kisses under a night sky full of millions of stars. How they'd smile and say that life could never be more perfect than the moments that they could share together. Like a bad romance Daryl would fall for him so completely that he would struggle to remember what his life was like before Rick entered it.
Daryl wanted desperately to let that dream continue, to believe that sort of story was still possible. That even someone like him was allowed to be happy. But the hunter opened his eyes and the first thing reflected in his fragile blue pools was the countless dead bodies they'd slain to stand here. There was no dream, the hunter realized. Life couldn't be that easy, not for him. He sighed and turned to tell Rick that there was nothing to return to. To tell him they really were over.
Before he could even open his mouth to speak Rick's lips crashed upon his. Daryl struggled, his eyes wide but Rick held him close forcing the hunter to stop struggling. Small whimpers bubbled up Daryl's throat. Rick deepened the kiss stroking Daryl's shy tongue with his own. He pressed them together chest to chest. Daryl's clenched hands slowly released all the tension in them and sought out Rick's own palm. Their hand entwined as Rick's free hand stroked the small of Daryl's back. The hunter lifted his other hand and fisted Rick's hair. Their kiss continued until they almost couldn't breathe. Rick was the first to pull away slowly like he was reluctant to break the connection. Rick's eyes were alight with fire as he panted slightly. Daryl's own breathing was labored and his cheeks flushed.
"Asshole." He mumbled. Rick smiled and kissed his throat then both heated cheeks.
"I didn't want to listen to you try to push me away again." He murmured in his ear. "I want you to be honest with me for once." Daryl buried his face in Rick's neck and inhaled the heady scent of warm summer and cool rivers that was distinctly and uniquely Rick's.
"I want to…"
"What?" Rick prodded stroking the back of his neck soothingly.
"I want to be with ya… like before. I want to spend time with ya." Daryl breathed his body almost shaking with shame at his own words. He felt like he'd die from embarrassment. Rick squeezed him tightly, his whole body radiating warmth.
"Me too. Oh god me too. I miss you." He rested his cheek on the top of Daryl's head. "I hated having to watch you from afar. I need you." Rick admitted. Daryl's heart pounded in his chest as he burrowed deeper in Rick's embrace. "You're supposed to be at my side. No one else." Daryl nodded.
"And ya need to be at mine." He whispered almost feeling ashamed at saying something so needy and downright girly. Rick chuckled and held him tighter.
"Exactly. We're a team right?" Daryl nodded again and Rick gently moved his face up. He stroked the hunter's cheeks, looking at him lovingly. "There is no one else I need at my side. I just need you." Rick eyes were so blue and held no lies behind them. Only loyalty and affection. Daryl could feel the love and desire reflected for him in the deep blue seas. "I don't care what anyone says, I need you." Daryl gently placed his hand over Rick's.
"Are ya sure? I mean ya have Lori…" He trailed off trying to make sure Rick wasn't just doing something in the heat of the moment, something he'd end up regretting. Rick quickly silenced him with a kiss.
"I'm sure." He whispered.
"Then… it's okay if I stay here?" Daryl breathed. He licked his lips searching the man's eyes. "Can I stay with ya?" The smile on Rick's lips was so completely and utterly joyful. He looked happier than Daryl had ever seen him look before. Daryl couldn't help but smile shyly too.
"Of course. You have to stay at my side." Rick whispered running his thumbs down Daryl's heated cheeks. He pulled Daryl in for another strong caring hug. "I'd keep chasing you until you agreed to be mine anyway." Daryl chuckled shaking his head.
"Yer weird." He closed his eyes and mumbled. "Ya could have anyone. Why me?" Rick shook his head.
"No Daryl it could only be you." Something grew hot behind Daryl's eyes. His whole body felt like it was floating. Had he ever felt like this before? He never thought he'd hear words like that directed towards him. Dixon's weren't meant to be happy like this but maybe that rule didn't apply to him? Merle and his father always said he wasn't like a true Dixon. As Daryl clung to Rick he couldn't help but feel that maybe for once that wasn't a bad thing. To be needed by this man, Daryl wouldn't lie, he liked the sound of that. He liked the idea of being allowed to be in this place with Rick at his side forever.
Oh man oh man! It has been FOREVER! I am so so sorry about that. I got busy with end of term projects and other boring life stuff and before I knew it almost two months had passed! I can't believe it! Like I said so sorry! But I'm back and super excited to keep working on this story during my free time! I can't thank you all enough for your patience and the people who reviewed, favorited, and followed while I was gone you helped remind me that I needed to get this chapter out! So thank you so much! I can't thank you all enough for your support.
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. (I know I did! I love a cute moment when things finally work out. If only they'd actually say that on the show right? *squee*) Like always if you have the time please review and let me know what you think/how things have been since my absence ;P hopefully everyone is still enjoying the story! I'll see you all in chapter 23!
