CHAPTER ONE : Limbo

Hisoka's fingers were wrapped so tightly around the red hard-cover of the book held in her hands that her knuckles had turned white. Her eyes were wide behind her glasses, appearing almost bug-like in that they were so huge. She hungrily drank every word, devouring every syllable as though she needed it to survive.

She looked out of place among the ornate book shelves of the Ouran High School's library. Her uniform had not made it out alive from her little trip into the pool, and thus she had to order a new one. It still hadn't come in. Currently she was simply wearing a sweater and jeans, and no one had said anything about it yet, so she assumed that it wasn't that big of a deal. She supposed if she had gone two days already without it, then it didn't really matter all that much to go a couple more.

Though while she was here she didn't care. Her eyes greedily soaked up every word on the page before her, her affinity for horror and suspense trapping her within the pages of the book. She almost felt as she were there with them, trapped in a limbo she didn't understand, or didn't want to understand.

Being punished for her sins.

"Oh! Mori-sempei!"

Hisoka's eyes snapped upwards, the spell ruined. She could have sworn only one second ago she was sitting on a plane with the Langoliers, but she suddenly found herself once again back in the library. Except now she was no longer alone.

She could see, just beyond the shelves filled to the brim with books hardly touched by the prestigious and well manicured fingers of the wealthy and incredibly lucky, two girls ran eagerly to two of the very esteemed Host Club members. They giggled, their hands drawn up to their chests endearingly, and the came to a sudden stop before them, their glamorous hair bouncing with each move they made.

The Host Club of Ouran High School was basically a group of seven, bored boys with too much time on their hands, who decided to entertain bored females who also had too much time on their hands. The basics of it was that a young girl would go to the third music room, where the club resides, and choose the host they liked the best, and then they would pay the Host Club to be entertained for an hour, usually by sitting and eating cake and enjoying some tea while the member did their shtick.

Currently, they were talking to the two third years of the Host Club, the ever silent Morinozuka, Takashi who towered above everyone he encountered and Honinozuka, Mitsukuni, who rode on his shoulders almost everywhere they went. The two were striking opposites, with Hononozuka's short height, soft features and bright blond hair, and Morinozuka's dark, strong features. They seemed to compliment each other well. They were among the most popular students in the school, with unbelievable family status. Hisoka was quite aware that they were cousins, and that they spent almost all of their time together.

"And Hunny-sempei," said another voice. Hisoka winced, recognizing the voices.

"What are you doing in here?" She could just see through the shelves the two tall, and relatively beautiful girls they were talking to, their dark eyes wide with curiosity as they looked up at the much taller Morinozuka. The shorter one—Miki Nana—had long, pin straight brown hair, and the taller one—Natsumi Renga—had shorter black hair. Aside from that, the two girls looked shockingly similar. Even though Miki was shorter, she was still at least a couple inches taller than Hisoka.

Hisoka sighs, shifting further into her corner and turning her eyes back to her book, deciding that they wouldn't notice her back here, anyway. She was too well hidden.

"I'm looking for a book on the Muromachi period for my History project. Takashi's really good at this stuff, so he's here to help me!" Hisoka winced, her eye twitched just slightly at his obnoxious volume. She could just vaguely picture several places where he could find books on the subject, and thankfully most of them were nowhere near her hiding place.

Hisoka frowned, realizing that she might spend too much time in the library. At least, she had when she first moved to Bunkyo, Tokyo. After a short while she had quickly become occupied with—

Her eyes flickered back up from the words in her book as Miki and Natsumi let out a squeal of identical laughter. She rolled her eyes, blinking them back down at the novel she was now gripping considerably tighter in her hands. Out of pure respect for the hard cover, she made a conscious effort to relax her fingers, smoothing over the off-white pages with her thumb, though it didn't appear to make much improvement on the creased edge. The whole book had been worn from past readers, and she wondered how such well groomed children managed to be so disrespectful.

"We can help you. I'm pretty sure I know where those books are." Hisoka easily recognized Natsumi's voice. it was hard to miss, being the louder of the two. She seemed confidant enough, and Hisoka figured she was safe. She didn't often find herself residing in the history section of the library.

Though it appeared that today she was going to be less lucky than what would have been preferred.

"Over here," Natsumi beckoned, and Hisoka looked up with a mix of surprise and annoyance to find the group of four quickly growing closer, as Natsumi moved through the shelves blindly. Miki followed immediately behind her, giggling as she gazed up at Takashi.

"You're good at History, right, Mori-sempei?" Miki asked. Hisoka righted herself quickly, dog-earing her book (and feeling little remorse for it) and crouching down low. She watched the foursome carefully, slipping behind another shelf, making her way further from the group. Her silence had been ruined. She would have to go and find some place else to read in peace.

"Hn," Mori replied noncommittally. Hisoka took a deep breath and held it, crawling behind the stacks and making her way along the floor, just out of sight. She looked up and over the books, watching as the group of four made their way back, and after they had passed she stood and made several quick strides towards the front library doors.

She was impossibly close, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she counted her steps. She would only need to make seven more steps. Six, five, four—

"Hey, look, Miki! It's Hisoka. Hi, Hisoka!"

The blond flinched, stopping in her tracks, unwilling to be considered rude. Natsumi sounded so friendly, and she could picture the usual smile that she had seen on ehr face many times before. For a moment hope slithered it's way through her chest, and Hisoka had to force the smile that was threatening to grow on her face awayl. She didn't want to seem like an idiot. So instead she opted for turning around to nod politely at the two girls.

They were standing only a few feet away, having just come from behind the stacks, and behind them stood the familiar Morinozuka with Honinozuka sitting on his shoulders. A stuffed pink rabbit was clutched in Morinozuka's large hands, appearing incredibly out of place. Hisoka couldn't help but smile at the image, and Morinozuka watched her as she did.

"Ah, hello Miki, Natsumi. Ah, Morinozuka-sempei and Honinozuka-sempei, how are you all today?" Her polite tone seemed to amuse the two girls, and a nasty smirk lit up Natsumi's features if for only a moment. She turned and shot the two older boys behind her a kind smile, as though she were apologizing for something, and Hisoka felt a sharp pain behind her nose, her eyes feeling a little wetter. She was apologizing for the fact that Hisoka was talking to them.

Hisoka looked down at her shoes in a semi-casual way, missing the way that realization flashed across Morinozuka's eyes subtily, flickering as he took in the meek way that the small blond haired girl held herself. He noticed the way she seemed to be desperately retreating backwards towards some kind of safety. This was the girl that he had found in the pool only two days before. He had not seen her since then, and at one point had wondered if she even went to Ouran High School, despite how silly that was seeing as she had been wearing the uniform when he found her. His gaze shifted to the two girl's before him, girl's he recognized from the Host Club, and who often requested Kyoya as a host. They were giving each other worried looks, and he wondered if they were friends with the small blond.

"I'm really good! How are you, Hiso-chan?" Honinozuka grinned, his face brightening. He didn't seem to notice the look Natsumi had given him, or the way Morinozuka was staring.

"I'm feeling well. Thank you for asking," Hisoka replied kindly, somewhat relieved. "Well, I have to go. Sorry, but I've got somewhere I have to be—" Hisoka cut herself off, giving an awkward half smile as she took a couple of backward steps. She reached back, her fingers brushing against the smooth handle of the door. She gripped it frantically, relieved to feel she was so close to getting away. "So, uh... yeah."

She spun around, turning the handle and pulling open the door.

"Oh, ok! Bye, Hisoka!" Miki called behind her. Hisoka made quick work out into the hall, the doors closing slowly behind her. "Isn't it so cool how she can just wear anything and not even care what other people think of her?"

The door clicked shut, but the words slipped through the cracks at the last second. Hisoka thought that escaping would have made her feel stronger, but she felt as though she just wanted to collapse to the ground and let the earth take her in, melting deeper under ground until she had found the center of the planet and she could burn there along with everything else. She would rather rot in Hell.

Hisoka had always viewed Hospitals as her own personal Hell.

The sting of the antiseptic smell that permeated the air, the tinkling of new mattress springs, the gentle beeping of macheinary all irritated her. She stared down at the IV stuck in her arm with a furious disdain. She was used to the pricking she felt when the nurse slid them into her arms, but this nurse seemed eager to cause her as much discomfort as possible, and jammed it in every wrong possible way she could think of before finally getting it right. Her arm would be purple for a month.

With a sigh she shifted on the bed she had been stuck in, her shuffling making the paper crinkle in an annoying way. She tugged on her paper dress, trying not to rip it as she did so. She had practically gone and pulled it out of the cupboard they kept them in herself. Hisoka came here so often she could have done the entire procedure herself, sticking her arm with the needle and setting up the IV. But she wasn't qualified.

The room was relatively stark, decorated in the boring, usual way that hospital rooms were decorated. Hisoka had been placed in several different rooms the past couple of times she had come to the hospital, but every time the rooms looked exactly so the same so they might as well have put her in the same one. At least then she might have had a little better of an opinion about this place.

It had been a couple of days since her encounter with Miki and Natsumi. The week had ended and now it was the weekend, and this 'check-up' that she had been waiting for had finally arrived. It was exactly like she expected. She was still waiting for the doctor to come into the room, but she wasn't even sure that he had been informed that she had arrived yet. There was some sort of surgery going on when she had gotten there, something very important, and the nurse mentioned something about the doctor being busy so she could only assume.

Hisoka didn't like being alone like this. It made her just sit and think. Were it completely silent, she was sure that she might have gone crazy. The silence always terrified her. No, not the silence, the fact that she was the only thing making noise. Being alive was such a weird thing but—

Hisoka had always viewed this time waiting for the doctor as a strange in between where the world stood still. Nothing really happened during this time, it was only her waiting around for something to come up. She simply thought constantly, and time slipped by. Sometimes it moved quickly, and sometimes it dragged along at a leisurely pace.

She felt trapped here.

Hisoka only really thought about her sickness when she was in a hospital. She wondered if the smell of cleaning chemicals was supposed to make her feel safer.

—being dead was even weirder.

Hisoka had found herself contemplating death more than usual lately. Ever since her illness had decided to make a come back. She supposed that being in remission was almost worse than being actually sick. It just made everything feel inevitable. She wasn't just worrying about surgery or dying, she was also worrying about whether or not there was something growing inside of her and she didn't know. At least when she was sick she knew what was coming next. She had a check up scheduled in a week, or her surgery was scheduled in a year and a half, or she had to make sure she took her medication every morning, or she should make sure her school knew she wasn't going to be in the next week because she planned to be puking her guts out.

Being dead meant nothing. Maybe there was some world waiting on the other side, housing the strange energy that human's were mysteriously made up of, or perhaps there was nothing at all. Maybe there was only darkness, a never ending void.

That thought terrified her.

She looked up at the butterfly painting that had been put on the wall. It was beautiful, colored with deep, royal purple's and lavender's. She stared, wondering when her parents were coming back, and eventually she lay back in her bed and tried to get some rest. The doctor would be in shortly.


A/U: If there are any mistakes, let me know and I'll try to fix them. Spelling for Hunny and Mori always throws me off because their realy names are so long.