Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters

A/N Sorry for the delay but last week was a bit hectic; hopefully it was worth the wait

Dean couldn't tell how long they had sat like that but what he did know was that his legs were beginning to go numb and he was sure that his brother could not be comfortable in the position that he was in.

"Sammy, come on I think it's time we get you off the floor." Dean said as he watched Sam nod his head and begin to move away from him. His brother shakily got off the floor and returned to his position at the edge of the bed.

Standing beside his brother, Dean decided that it was time to find out what was really going on with Sam.

"You feel like telling me why you wanted me to leave earlier on?" Dean said, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible. Watching while Sam stared blankly at the wall in front of him, he was about to ask again when he heard Sam's quiet response.

"I told you Dean, I don't want you here."

Walking in front of his brother, he knelt down and lifted Sam's chin in order to ensure that his brother was looking him in the eye as he asked again.

"Sam, I want to know what's going on in that head of yours and before you say it, I know you don't mean it when you say you want me to leave." Holding firm as his brother tried to pull away from him, Dean watched a myriad of emotions washed over Sam's face.

"You need to leave Dean, I made a mistake, I should never have called you. Dad is going to be so mad with you for disobeying him, you have to go Dean, I already have Jess's death on my conscience and can't have that too. Please Dean just go." Sam said as he finally managed to pull his face away from his brother and began staring at the floor.

"Sam, I don't understand, what are you talking about, Dad isn't mad, I haven't disobeyed him….." Dean never got to finish what he was about to say as his brother suddenly stood up and cut him off.

"Then why isn't he here?" Sam shouted.

Dean was hit with the sudden realisation that he had not told his brother about their father being missing and in that he had never stopped to think what Sam must have thought when he had seen Dean arrive alone. Things were starting to make a little more sense now, the look of disappointment on Sam's face when he had arrived had nothing to do with Dean, it was his brother's reaction to there father not being there. God, he began to chastise himself, how must it have looked to Sam? Before he could start explaining the situation, Sam began to start pacing, and although talking out loud, Dean wasn't sure if his brother was talking to himself or to him.

"I mean I knew he was mad, but I always thought that one day you know, maybe he could start to understand that I wasn't trying to turn my back on the family by coming here, I just wanted my own life. But I guess I have always known that I disappointed him. Nothing I ever did was good enough; sometimes I wonder if it was just because he wished that it had been me that died that night and not mum or if it was because I wasn't as more like you."

Dean could not believe what he was hearing; there was no way that his brother could really believe that his father wished he had died instead of his mother. Did he not know that his father loved him, that he only wanted to protect him? He watched as his brother sank down on the bed, seeming to be completely drained. Dean couldn't stand it any longer; he couldn't let his brother continue to believe this. Moving to kneel in front of his brother again, Dean tried to make his brother understand.

"Sam…" Dean started softly but was cut off by his brother, who sounded defeated and broken.

"It's ok Dean. I understand now, you should go." Sam said quietly.

Dean could see that he needed to take a different approach in order to make his brother listen to him.

"Sam, stop it alright." He said in a firm voice as he placed his hand under his brother's chin in order to have him look at him. "I want you to stop talking and listen to me. Don't even think of trying to interrupt me, ok?" Dean watched as his brother nodded his head. He returned the nod and took a deep breath.

"Good. Firstly don't let me ever hear you say that Dad wished that you had died instead of Mom ok, cause Sammy that's not true." His voice was firm and Sam began to try and squirm away from his hold, as he opened his mouth to interrupt but Dean held strong and cut him off.

"No interruptions Sam, just listen. Dad is so proud of you, I know you don't believe that but trust me he does. All he ever wanted was for you to be safe, after loosing Mom he never wanted to go through that again. When you told him that you wanted to go to college all he could see was that you were going to be on your own, unprotected and that scared him Sammy, he wouldn't admit it but that's the truth." Dean's voice began to crack and he looked away from his brother for a second, it was just the opportunity Sam needed to speak.

"If that's how he felt then why did he tell me to leave and not come back?" his voice quiet, and as Dean turned back to look at his brother he could see Sam's eyes shining with emotion.

"He was scared Sam, he said it to try and make you stay, he never ever meant it Sammy. You know this isn't my first time to Palo Alto, I used to drop by every couple of weeks to check up on you." He could see the surprise registering on his brother's face and allowed to a smile to come on his own.

"I never told Dad though, I wasn't sure how he would react, but then one day when I stopped by I saw him watching you going into the library." Dean let that fact sink in before going any further.

"It turns out that we had both been coming here any chance we got to make sure that you were alright." Watching as tears formed in his little brothers eyes he decided to continue.

"Sammy, you didn't call me tonight, I think with everything that has gone you've gotten confused. I called you tonight Sam, I needed to speak to you." Sam had s look of confusion on his face.

"No Dean I remember, I told Zach that I needed you, I took out my phone and then I was talking to you….." Sam stopped, and looked up at his brother, a look of dread on his face.

"Dean, why were you calling me?" He asked as he searched his brother's face as though he thought he would find the answer there.

Dean looked away from his brother, needing a moment to compose himself and work out how best to explain what had happened to his brother. Turning back to his brother, he took a deep breath.

"Sam, Dad and I had separated cause there were two jobs that needed looking into so I headed to New Orleans and he headed to Jericho. We were supposed to meet up a week ago but Dad never showed. He left a message on my phone a couple of days before we were due to meet up. He told me to be careful, that we were all in danger. I rang everyone I could think of but nobody has heard from him and anytime I try his phone it goes straight to voice mail."

Sam turned his head away from his brother and stood up, he began pacing again before stopping and turning to face his brother.

"So he doesn't know what's happened?" he asked Dean.

"I have left messages for him Sam, but I don't know if he is getting them. I don't think he is cause he'd be here if he knew Sam, I know it."

"I need Dad Dean, I mean what happened tonight, it was just like what happened to Mom. It's my fault isn't it?" he said as he began to pace again.

"What are you talking about Sam, what's your fault." Dean was confused; he was having a hard time following his brother's train of thought. Sam stopped pacing and looked at his brother with tears streaming down his face.

"Mom and Jess both died over my bed Dean, that can't just be a coincidence, it has to mean something and I'm the common factor so it has to be my fault."

It broke Deans heart to watch his brother break down in front of his eyes, guilt weighing heavy on his shoulders. Striding towards his he took Sam's face in his hands.

"Sammy, Mom's death and Jess's death are not your fault. The only place for blame is with the thing that did this. You were a baby when Mom died, how could a baby cause something like that, huh? I don't know what's going on Sam, and I'm sorry that I don't have the answers that you need but what I do know is that Dad going missing and this thing showing up again is not a coincidence. I promise you Sam, we'll find Dad and we'll find the thing that did this and make sure that it will never happen again."

Sam nodded, and Dean felt his brother sway. Putting his arm around his brother's shoulders he began to move Sam towards the bed.

"Come on Sam, you need to get some rest ok." Seeing that Sam was about to interrupt, he continued on not giving his brother a chance to disagree.

"If we are going to find Dad then you need to be a hundred percent and that means you have to get some rest." By now he had his brother lying on the bed and began pulling the sheets over him.

"Go to sleep Sam, I'll be here when you wake up."

Dean watched as his brother's eyes slowly closed, running a hand over his face, he went to the Impala to get his things. He needed to protect the room in order to protect his brother and although unwilling to admit it to Sam he was worried by the fact that his mother and Jess were killed over his little brothers bed. He knew it wasn't Sam's fault, it never even crossed his mind but at the same time he couldn't help but feel that his brother was being targeted and there was no way anyone or anything was going to hurt his brother. Silently moving around the room he began laying lines of salt.

TBC...

Please review - I'd love to know what you think. Epilogue to come soon.