A/N: In the last chapter, the parts on Earth and with Sam ended up being off time-wise. Sam was ahead of them by three months. Earth will have caught up in this chapter.
There's also some minor angst. Not really my writing forte, but it's in there anyway.
The muse also appreciated the reviews. The more reviews, the happier the muse, the more I have to write.
"What happened to Jaesin?" Raevyn repeated when Sam hesitated in answering. At the woman's words, she absently put a protective hand over her stomach.
"Can you fill me in on what happened?" Sam asked, procrastinating. "To Z-Jaesin before became a Goa'uld?"
Raevyn raised an expectant eyebrow at her sister. Shoshanah gazed back before blinking serenely at Sam. "Life on our home planet was . . . redundant. Jaesin and Raevyn thirsted for adventure that could never be theirs. Until I found some ancient scrolls in a buried chamber. It was in a dead language I had studied, so I read the script to them. It spoke of wonderous races far more technologically than we could ever hope to be. On it were six symbols that Jaesin recognized from a device. He dialed put nothing happened. By chance, he hit a seventh button and a wave of water shot out of a large stone ring I thought to be a chappa'ai. When the water stayed upright, Jaesin stepped closer to discover what it did.
"Understand, Sam, our brother always had a lack of caution about him that was never cured with age. He jumped into the water, thinking it nothing out of the ordinary. He thought it would be fun. We never saw him again."
"But you obviously went through the, ah, chappa'ai at some point. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. You said your home planet wasn't very advanced." Sam was still having trouble coming up with a way to tell them about their brother . . . and his child.
Shoshanah continued the story, eyes plainly saying she knew what Sam was doing. "A few years later, I unearthed a second address. Raevyn had insisted we burn the first, something I highly regret allowing her to do. Needless to say, we dialed the second address and hit the same symbol Jaesin had. The chappa'ai came to life again. Raevyn stepped through, determined to find our brother. I, afraid that I would loose my only other sibling, went through seconds after. We came out here and followed the path to the temple. Oma Desala visited us and offered us a second life. I chose to follow enlightenment." She refused to say any more, simply gazing at Sam in a fashion similar to Teal'c.
"What," began Sam, deciding to wing it, "I think happened to Jaesin, after he came out of the chappa'ai, was he got captured by a Goa'uld named Zeus and became his host. Do you know about the Goa'uld?" Shoshanah nodded and gestured her to go on. "I don't know how long they were blended but one way or another I was captured. My friends . . . the four of us were explorers, escaped." She swallowed nervously. This was delicate territory. "Zeus made me a queen, but without having a symbiote. He was different. I-I loved him. I was his wife" She laughed bitterly. "Something I never thought I'd hear myself say. But you wanted to know what happened to him, so I'll get on with it. One of my friends saw me, and my dad used some intel to figure out which planet Zeus and I were on. Two of my friends used a gas to kill Zeus. Jaesin only had moments to live." She choked, pain growing behind her eyes as she held her tears at bay. "He spent his last seconds asking me to forgive them. There wasn't anything to be sorry for."
"'Anything?'" Raevyn echoed skeptically. "Zeus forced you to be his queen."
"I actually came to care for him. He gave me a chance to go to my old home once. I refused."
"And it is his child you wish to protect," Shoshanah said, her eyes betraying nothingof how she was feeling or what she was planning.
"It won't be taken away, will it?" Sam demanded sharply, remembering Shifu. She didn't think that the child would be Harcesis, but there was a very slim possibility.
Shoshanah shook her head. "There is no need to that I am aware of."
"Good," sighed Sam, relieved. Residue tears slid down her cheeks. Besides the meals, the other thing she disliked about her pregnancy was her being overly emotional, and having constant mood-swings. She quickly wiped the tears away. "But I am genuinely interested in following enlightenment." It was a half-truth, but that was better than a flat-out lie, wasn't it?
"Do you have a faith, or are you governed by the laws of your technology?" "Laws of technology?" Sam echoed silently. Was that supposed to mean science? She hoped so because the former wasn't an option.
"I never really had a faith," she said uneasily.
"Open your mind. Not everything has rules and limitations. Try to meditate," Shoshanah instructed.
Sam shifted into Teal'c's kel'no'reem pose and easily slipped into a deeper level of her conciousness, as Teal'c had instructed her to do after Jolinar's possession. Surprisingly, she could still hear Shoshanah's voice coaxing her with further instructions.
Life at the SGC went on fairly normally. Mark had left soon after Sam's disappearance, but he promised he'd be back soon for an extended stay. Daniel knew that he wasn't leaving until his sister was safely returned. He hoped Mark wouldn't have to wait too long.
Jacob had busied himself with trying to find any trace of his daughter. Thus far, he'd had no luck. Daniel suspected the Tok'ra High Council had a hand in keeping him just busy enough to make sure his progress was slow. All they knew was that Sam had visited a black market, got a ship and supplies, and wasn't seen since.
Jack acted normal, but Daniel knew he was still hurt by Sam's anger toward him. Granted, he conceded, Jack deserved it after the way he acted around Sam. He just wished that the older man would stop punishing himself. It wasn't obvious, but someone who was close enough to Jack O'Neill could see his internal toment and guilt. Only Sam's return and forgivness could ease the pain.
Teal'c, Daniel noticed, was trying to hide his true feeling on the situation as well. He was sure Teal'c blamed himself for Sam's running away and Jack's guilt. Daniel had found out sometime later that it was Teal'c who convinced Jack to return after Sam was shot. It seemed that Jack had forgotten this small fact. What Daniel couldn't understand is why Teal'c didn't see fit to inform Jack. He thought Teal'c would be . . . Jaffa enough to do it.
General Hammond was naturally unhappy about the news. Sam was like another daughter to him. In more ways than one. Not many people knew that General Hammond was Sam's godfather.
Janet was more business-like. She obviously missed the woman who'd become one of her close friends. The other nurses had always been too bubbly for her liking, so she stayed away from most of them if she could help it. Now that Daniel thought about it, she'd drifted away from the rest of SG-1 as well.
Cassie was in a minor state of depression. To her, she'd confided in Daniel, it was loosing a mother all over again. Sam had done so much for her but up and vanishes all of a sudden; neither Daniel, Janet, nor Jack had ever given full details as to how or why Sam left.
Mark was coping. He was still obviously overwhelmed by everything. But the fact that he was coming back for a while showed that he'd be okay. Daniel had to admit he was impressed. The man was coping better than expected. But he had the nagging feeling that Mark was hiding something. Both Mark and Jack had some identical emotion in their eyes but Daniel didn't know Sam's brother well enough to figure it out.
Daniel had mixed emotions. He couldn't help but feel there was something he could have done to keep Sam from leaving. The other part knew that she wasn't in her right mind. Hadn't he been the same way after Sha're died? Or at least he had in the vision she gave him just before Teal'c shot her. After so many contradicting thoughts, Daniel mentally shook himself and focused solely on the present, not the "could haves," "should haves," or "what ifs." None of that would help get her back.
He stretched out in the uncomfortable seat near the baggage claim. Mark's flight back would arrive soon and Daniel found himself in the same position as he was three months ago, only he was alone this time.
Finally passengers began emerging from the terminals. Daniel stood and headed over to the baggage claim to wait for Mark there.
Sure enough, a familiar face sqeezed its way through the crowd and stopped next to Daniel. They shook hands in greeting.
"Anything on Sam?" Mark asked.
Daniel shook his head and raked a hand through his hair. "Sorry." Mark had been asked the same questioned repeatedly for the past three months and the answer never changed.
Mark mimicked the action. "I'm sorry that I keep bugging you. It's just that . . . she's my sister. I just . . . I wish she hadn't run off. Dad hasn't had any luck either, has he?"
"His superiors keep finding excuses for him to be busy. He's doing his best. We all are."
"Is there anything new we'll have to discuss later?"
"Not exactly. Just news you can be updated on. So how long are you staying?"
"Indefinitely. Or at least until Sam's found. And my neice or nephew." Mark grimaced as luggage began making an appearance. "Everything else is okay, but that's the one thing I can't get my head around. I understand why she left. Not everyone gave her much of a reason to stay—"
"That's not why she left. At least, not entirely." At Mark's blank stare, Daniel clarified, "After my wife died, I would have given almost anything to run away. I couldn't. My work at the mountain wasn't done." Mark nodded. "She ran away from the pain. We were a partial cause of it, but she still has her inner demons to fight with." The appearance of Mark's bags but a halt to conversation until they arrived at Daniel's SUV.
Daniel heaved the luggage in back and they got in. "You said there was something on Sam," Mark pushed as soon as Daniel started the engine.
"Jacob discovered she 'gated to a planet with a black market. From there she got a ship and supplies. She as good as vanished after that."
"That's it?!" Mark demanded angrily. "Three months and who knows how many damn aliens working on finding my sister and her baby and that's all you could come up with!"
Luckily, they were taking a short cut through a fairly abondoned neighborhood because Daniel slammed the brakes hard.
"Dammit, Mark, you aren't the only one who wants her back!" Daniel shouted, his pent up feelings boiling over. "I could name at least a dozen people who miss her. Do you think we're not working? That we enjoy not knowing if she's dead or not? That is a very real possibility, but we refuse to accept that because—" He stopped, his throat swelling shut. This was the first time he'd ever yelled at Mark, but the man pushed him too far. It was a good thing Daniel was Mark's escort; none of the others would be so nice as to simply yell. "We never leave anyone behind," he hissed. His eyes felt moist. Was he destined to keep loosing people in his life? His parents, grandfather, Sha're, Sarah, and now Sam. All he had left were Jack, Teal'c, Janet, and Cassie. He couldn't bear to loose any of them. Even contemplating it was too painful. "You aren't the only one who cares for her. We all love her. We all miss her. You have no idea what's being done to get her back. All of us spend every waking moment we can afford to search."
"I just hate feeling so helpless," Mark finally said, sounding pretty upset too. "She's my little sister."
Suddenly, Daniel realized what emotion he recognized in both Jack and Mark; it was the same thing he was sure they all felt: guilt. But why did Mark feel guilty? He hadn't said or done anything that Daniel knew of. Unless he said it the night Sam left, he thought, slightly angry.
"What happened? What went on between the two of you the night she . . . took off?" he questioned intently.
How did you—?" Mark shook his head like a wet dog. "Never mind. Not important. I—" he coughed uncomfortably and ran a hand through his hair. "I was an ass. A friend was interested in her, so he egged me on to hook them up. Holy Hannah, I was such an ass," he groaned.
Daniel put his foot on the gas again. He didn't comment, but he was furious inside. Sam was so unstable after she came back. How could Mark not see that? Didn't he have even the slightest notion that it was too soon? Daniel glanced over, but still said nothing. The other man was miserable enough.
His eyes moved to the clock and widened in surprise. He didn't realize it had gotten so late. It was nearly two in the morning. He sighed, "You can stay in the guestroom tonight. I'll help you find a hotel tomorrow."
"'Kay, thanks. But . . . " Mark hesitated uneasily and ran his hand through his hair again. "I was wondering if I could get a VIP room at the SGC. I want to be there when you bring her home."
Personally, Daniel didn't think Mark was in much of a position to be asking for something quite as extensive as a VIP room, but he simply said, "I'll ask General Hammond."
"I know you don't think I deserve it. Heck, I don't even think I deserve it, but I want to be there for her. Let her know I really do care and that I'm sorry." He rubbed his face tiredly. "I-I'm just not sure how I should go about it. It sucks, you know? I never bothered to get very close to her or Dad after Mom . . . you know. We had some good phone conversations a couple years after she began the program, but there was nothing. I'd tried to separate us too much. Then, the one chance I have I screw up. You, Colonel O'Neill, and Teal'c are closer family than me. Do you, I don't know, have any advice on how to approach her?"
Daniel, still seething, said, "Look, I understand, probably a little better than you think, but I can't intrude. Neither can Jack or Teal'c. It's your business and, no offense, your problem. It's no one's place to tell you what to say. All we can do is help you."
"That's all I'm asking for," Mark responded thankfully.
They continued the drive in silence.
R&R
