The Defence Teachers

Summary: Draco Malfoy and his girlfriend Kiki Rivers (Slytherin) get sent back in time… when to? Why the Marauder Era, of course! And who better to teach Defence but two battle scarred teenagers who landed there by accident?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything… except Kiki and the spells that she said

Chapter Two

"Draco! I'm hungry…"

"Shut up, I'm tired."

"But I'm hungry!"

"Then go eat."

"Will you come with me?"

"Mmph," was all that could be heard as Draco pulled the covers over his head.

"Fine," said a sulky Kiki, "have your slee— AGHH! Death Eaters!"

Draco jumped out of bed immediately, grabbed hold of a pencil and shouted, "Where? Where?"

Kiki cracked up with laughter. "Well, that made you get up."

Draco, seeing that the pencil wasn't his wand, chucked it to the side and glared at her. Only thing was, he wasn't very intimidating when he was wearing pyjamas, and especially not when his hair was all stuck up in a bed-head.

Kiki saw that he wasn't pleased and reached up on her tiptoes to muss up his hair some more. "Come on Draco, you know I didn't mean to upset you." When he only glared at her some more, she gave him her puppy-dog-eyes – the ones that always worked on Draco. His glare softened immediately.

"Come on then," he said, "let's go to breakfast."

Pause…

"Kiki! We're meant to get dressed first!"

"Remus," Peter said, "as you're the only one who can actually do Defence –"

"Oi!" said Sirius, looking up from the Marauders Map. "I highly resent that."

"– what do you reckon to the new teachers?" he finished, glaring at Sirius.

"Well…" Remus said, looking unsure, "they seemed capable. And did you see the woman? She was wearing Auror robes."

"Yeah, I noticed that too," said a girl next to them – Alice Fenshaw, Remus thought she was called, "and the man had more than a few scars on his arms –"

Frank Longbottom interrupted her, "So… you were looking at his arms, were you?"

Alice flushed, "Just because I noticed, it does not mean that –"

"Back to the subject we were discussing," James said over them, "I thought that they lookedfun."

"You mean the woman had him wound round her little finger!" Frank laughed.

"Hmm… yeah, I s'pose she did."

And with that, the conversation moved on to less important things.

As they walked into their Defence classroom, the Marauders glanced round the classroom. Snape scowled at them from where he stood, but otherwise – nothing. No desks, no chairs… hell, there weren't even any teachers.

The classroom filled up, and still there were no teachers.

Sirius whispered to James, "You don't reckon they got lost, do you?"

"Err… well, they might have. But don't you think they'd have asked a student… hell, even a teacher, where they were meant to go?"

"I—" James began, but never finished. For down the hall they heard a shout of "WHEEE!" and then the door was flung open.

Kiki was having a piggyback ride from Draco and was showing clear signs of exhilaration. She slid off his back and beamed at the class.

Evan Rosier scowled and said, "Who the hell are you?"

Kiki scowled right back. "I'm Stew Pidd and this is Brain Less. And you are…?"

Rosier glowered as James and Sirius snorted.

"Well then, now that we've got that sorted out let me introduce myself. I'm Kiki Malfoy and this is Draco Malfoy –"

Someone at the back shouted, "Are you any relation to Lucius Malfoy?"

"Yeah," said Draco sarcastically, "I'm his son."

"– and we're your Defence teachers for the year."

Rosier and his cronies looked at each other and burst out laughing. Kiki glared at them. "Yes?"

Nott gasped out, "But – but – but you're a – a – a girl!"

Kiki stepped forward. "And you reckon that makes me any less capable?" she whispered dangerously. "Tell you what, I'll prove it to you. Duel with me."

Rosier strutted up to her. "Fine," he said.

Still glaring at Rosier, Kiki transfigured a loose bit of rock into a dueling platform ("Wicked," Sirius whispered to Remus). Rosier had a smirk on his face as they bowed. Once again, Kiki cursed her small height as Rosier towered over her.

Draco, who merely looked bored, said, "Dark Arts are allowed. No spells that could kill the other person …immediately, that is… three… two… one… go."

"Perdoves Tricruor!" shouted Kiki. Rosier began to bleed where she had hit him. That was a Dark curse that made you bleed… but it didn't clot.

"Claus Uslat Useris!" Rosier yelled. Kiki couldn't breathe, but that didn't stop her.

And so it went on for a while, until Kiki said, "Castrouvis," and Rosier gasped, glared at her, and ran out of the room.

Kiki said, "Well, now that we've got rid of Tail-feathers, let's move onto more important things. As we're both called Malfoy, it'll be confusing to both be called 'Professor Malfoy', so call me Kiki and him Professor Malfoy –"

"Hey!"

"…fine, call him Draco…" she said, looking disgruntled.

"And now… for the actual lesson…"

"Kiki! Change my hair back right now!"


"Perdo vestri cruor" means "Loose your blood" in Latin. I just moved the spaces around a little bit

"Clausus latuseris" means "Block lungs" in Latin. Again, I just moved the spaces around

"Castro" means "Castrate" in Latin. I added "– uvis" on the end

OK, just to tell you, I translated the Latin on the internet. If it's wrong, please tell me.