Fishing Trip
"You know, we could catch a lot more fish if we used our powers."
Vanille sighed and then reached across the small boat to slap Lightning upside the head. "You really don't get it, do you? Fishing is all about appreciating the beauty and majesty of nature, relishing the primal battle between fisher and fish, and savouring the pristine stillness and quiet of a day out on the water."
Lightning's eye twitched. "I bet you spend most of your time sleeping instead of fishing."
"Meditation is an excellent way to commune with nature. I immerse myself in the peacefulness of the lake." Vanille paused. "And it can be very comfortable out here sometimes. Besides, there's no need for you to get so cranky. We're here to bond, Lightning. You do know what bonding means, right?"
Lightning made a face. "I swear, if you start talking about how we're really sisters now that Fang and I are married and how great it is that you and Serah are actually related now, then I am going to kill you."
"You can't kill me. Fang would be really pissed off – and she'd make you sleep on the couch. You wouldn't last a month without your daily dose of Fang."
"I can strangle you, dump your body in the lake, and claim you fell in and drowned." Lightning flexed her hands, imagining how easy it would be.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're an extremely violent person? I can see why Fang likes you." Vanille chuckled. "But admit it, you actually do like me. Otherwise, I'd already be dead."
"I suppose you're not that horrible to have around. You're cheerful, if nothing else. I guess somebody has to be."
"I'm also incredibly kind, intelligent, and empathetic. Yep, I'm perfect little sister material." Vanille flexed her bicep. It was not particularly impressive. "Why stick with a Serah when you can upgrade to a Vanille?"
"I'll tell Serah you said that," Lightning replied.
"Uh, please don't. I know I tease you about having a sister fixation, but Serah is even worse than you are. If she think's I'm actually trying to replace her as your little sister, she really will kill me and bury me in the backyard. I've seen her use a shovel before. It's not that unlikely."
Lightning opened her mouth and then closed it. She'd once seen Serah kill a rat with a shovel. It had not been pretty. In fact, it had been quite terrifying. "Okay, I won't tell her."
"Thanks." Vanille leaned back. "But, really, it is nice spending time with you without the world ending or anything like that. Sure, you're kind of crappy at fishing, but none of us is perfect although Fang seems to think you are."
Lightning rolled her eyes. "You know, you haven't caught any fish either."
"Actually…" Vanille sat up. "I have a bite."
An hour passed, and Vanille caught four fish. Lightning, however, only managed to catch what appeared to be an ancient boot from the War of Transgression.
"If it makes you feel any better, that's an antique boot." Vanille peered at the boot more closely. "I mean we can't eat it or anything, but there are collectors who'd pay a decent price for that. You could use that money to buy a fish."
"You are not helping." Lightning unhooked the boot and cast her line in again. "How are you so good at this?"
"It's because I radiate calm and kindness. The fish never realise that's happening until… bam! They're hooked. You, on the other hand, radiate malevolence and evil. The fish know better than to go anywhere near your side of the boat. Just think happy thoughts, and I'm sure you'll have more luck."
"Right." Lightning laughed. "I don't think that's how it works."
"Well, you never know. Besides, the Dia have a saying: think mean thoughts, get mean fish. Considering the lake we're in, we could run into some pretty mean fish while we're out here unless you lighten up a little."
Vanille's words proved to be remarkably prescient.
Not long after she'd spoken, Lightning finally hooked her first fish, only to find herself in a tug of war with a much, much bigger fish that had decided it wanted her fish.
"Lightning, you should probably just let that fish go." Vanille pointed at the massive fish churning the water a few yards from their boat. "Because that other fish is huge, as in really, really huge. It's got a lot of teeth too."
"I am not letting it take my fish." Lightning braced her feet against the edge of the boat and pulled. "I refuse to go home empty handed. This is my fish, and I'll be damned if I let that other fish steal what's mine." But the other fish refused to budge, and little by little, it actually began to pull the boat toward it. "Vanille hand me my gun blade."
"Uh… I thought we weren't going to be using any weapons."
"Get my gun blade now!"
Vanille handed Lightning her gun blade.
"All right, you stupid fish." Lightning waited until they were right next to the gigantic fish that was trying to steal the small, scrawny fish she'd managed to hook before levelling her weapon at the big fish and giving it her most ferocious glare. "Let go right now, or I swear I'll kill you and cook you for dinner."
The big fish let go.
Lightning smirked. "That's right, swim away." Then she turned back to Vanille and held up her prize – the smallest fish they'd caught all day. "Look, I caught one!"
Vanille winced. "Uh, that's great." Then she looked over the side of the boat. Uh oh. "Lightning, do you think that you could maybe use your gun blade because that big fish is preparing to ram us, and I don't think our boat can take a hit like that?"
Lightning turned and followed Vanille's gaze. "Oh… OH!"
X X X
Fang's eyes widened as Lightning parked in front of the house. Slung over the roof of the car was one of the largest fish she'd ever seen.
"What… the… hell?"
Lightning glared at the huge fish. "We had a little argument. I won."
"Lightning," Fang said. "I thought you went fishing. Why is that fish full of bullet holes?"
"Like I said, we had an argument, and I won." Lightning held up a small fish. "But, look, I did catch one without using my gun blade!"
X X X
Author's Notes
As always, I do not own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
Ah, Vanille and her fishing trips – they never seem to end well. Then again, can you really imagine Lightning sitting in a boat for a whole day and just waiting for the fish to come? Oh, no. Lightning is the kind of person that goes out and gets her fish, even if it's at gunpoint. Also, in case you guys don't know, I do post a lot of shorter stuff over on my Tumblr (e.g., snippets) that doesn't appear over here.
I also write original fiction, mostly fantasy. You can find links to it in my profile
As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.
