A/N: Okay, so I may have lied a little bit about Fi being annoying, but it's part of the plot I swear! That and I couldn't miss the chance for some comic relief. Midnight has a bit of a dirty mind, but nothing that keeps this from staying K+. ;) Next chapter or episode or whatever, we finally introduce a character I've been dying to get to. Anyways, enjoy Fi's antics for now.


"Mistress?" Faron scoffed. "What's that all about then, first a light show then some girl shows up calling me mistress? Ha, this is a weird sword."

"Um, not to be as rude as Faron is currently being," Midnight gave a Faron a smirk and then turned to the new arrival. "But who—or what for that matter—exactly are you?"

The spirit seemed to smile once more at this question. "I am the spirit that resides within the Master Sword, I am designated as Fi. Mistress has awakened me from my long slumber within this the blade and—"

"Wait, why am I 'Mistress'? I've been never been 'Mistress' to anybody." Faron questioned Fi, not catching Midnight's choked giggle.

"The sword has deemed you worthy as its master, and I awoke when you released the blade from the pedestal. Therefore my sole purpose is to remain at your side as your loyal servant."

"And what do you do, clean laundry or something…" Fi tilted her head in clear confusion.

"Not that kind of servant Faron…" Midnight elbowed her ribs as she stepped away from the pedestal and towards the spirit girl.

"My purpose is to provide analysis and information in aide of a specific quest. However…" Fi stopped and her doll-like features scrunched in further confusion. "According to my memory, I was designated to retire to the sword for eternity, never to awaken. My intended mission is complete. I do not understand why it is I have awoken once more. The land of the gods should no longer require my services." She looked at the pair in front her, her features sagging into a look of sadness and exasperation. "I have no purpose."

The pair now looked upon her with expressions of pity after listening to her tale. Faron was the first to pipe up after several moments of silence. "Well, then you can just hang around with us!"

Fi's eyes seemed to brighten, but still looked confused. "Are you certain, Mistress? I do not know of what use I can be, I have no goal to achieve…"

"Well as you'll come to know, we're the not the most aspiring peope in the world either." Midnight chuckled. "We pretty much just wonder around, adventuring in a world we're not all that familiar with. You'll fit right in."

"Yeah, waddya say—Fi, was it? Care to make our aimless twosome a threesome?" This time Faron kicked Midnight's shin as he chuckled at her choice of phrasing.

Fi seemed to contemplate for only a moment before her features set into a smile. "Based on my analysis of my situtation, I conclude there is a 74% chance that if I join you as you say, I may indeed find myself integrated into some use. Perhaps my data analysis skills may be off use to you as well." Faron smile faded slightly as Fi began to go on about mathematical topics. Of all the subjects she hated to learn about has a young girl, arithmetic was at the top of her list. At a young age, she had thrown a tantrum at even being presented with the revolting numbers. Suddenly she thought she might regret asking this strange girl to be her friend. "If my memory is suitably intact, I believe my past experiences indicate I enjoy such things as 'adventures' as well." Faron burst into a wide grin once more.

"Now that's what I'm talking about! Fi," She wrapped an arm around the spirit's shoulders. "I think you and I might just become good friends."


"So what should we label this place on the map? 'Weird part of the forest where we met our new friend Fi' is a bit of mouthful, don't you think?" Faron pulled a large parchement paper off her belt and rolled it out to reveal a semi-detailed, albeit poorly drawn, map of the forest. While it struggled to depict everything from "Exit to Hyrule Field" and "This way to Ordon Village" to "The log where that damn frog lives," it did not take up a huge portion of the paper. Much of it was left blank, as if to be filled in with more areas beyond the forest. Yet in the five years since the map had first been drawn, all that was indicated to be outside the forest was the general area of Hyrule field, and a crude drawing of a castle in the center, which looked to have been colored in over and over again with much more detail and admiration than the other landmarks.

"Well, it is a grove; I believe that's what you call a bunch of trees together like this," Midnight scratched his chin in thought.

"And you did say something about this place being, what, 'worshipy'? No, sacred!"

"So, 'Grove of Sacred Stuff', yeah?" Midnight joked.

"Blimey, remind me not to put you in charge of naming things. How about just 'Sacred Grove'?" She penciled in the letters in a newly drawn area of the map, though Midnight kept his chastising mouth shut when he leaned over and noticed the markings she had put down didn't remotely resemble the words 'Sacred Grove'. He knew how much she had hated her lessons as a child, and he certainly wasn't going to tease her for it.

"Excuse me, Mistress, but perhaps I can be of aid in this instance?" Fi leaned over the map. "It appears your map is incomplete. My memory contains records of complete charts of several areas of the surface world. Perhaps I can provide them to you. This is Faron Woods, is it not?"

"That sounds great! Sure, let's see what you got." Faron nodded and grinned sheepishly at hearing her own name coincide with the name of the forest. Of course, she had always known her brother had named her after the woodlands described in her mother's stories, and in the last five years, she had taken great pride in living in the forest she was named after. These woods were truly her domain.

Faron grimaced as the map in front of her changed shape and new detailed images appeared, depicting was was certainly a forest, but not one she had ever seen. It depicted a lake to the southeast, a temple to the far north, and a giant tree in the dead center. All of the paths looked completely unfamiliar, and what on earth was that spiral image to the southwest?

"Um, Fi, this isn't Faron Woods…" Fi looked at her, once again confused.

"Mistress, according to my records, this is indeed the area known as 'Faron Woods', depicted in exact detail."

"But Fi, there's no lake in the forest." Midnight pointed to the feature on the map. "Lake Hylia is way to the northeast of here." Fi tilted her head again, completely lost.

"Lake Hylia? The only significant body of water I have on record is Lake Floria, and I am certain it is located adjacent to Faron Woods. However, based on our directional coordinates, we should be within the Sealed Temple…" She looked around, a little exasperated now. "But I cannot see the Goddess Statue from here; it should be in this vicinity… Perhaps the area has changed since I slept…"

Faron and Midnight stared at her with quizzacal eyebrows. "Fi, just how long were you asleep for?" Midnight asked.

"I am not certain. I apologize, Mistress, it seems my records are of no use after all."

"No, it's okay Fi, I mean, the map's useless, but that's a pretty neat trick, maybe we can use it to make better maps as we explore." Faron tried to reassure the pitiful spirit, who perked up once more.

"Thank you, Mistress."


With Fi now resting within the sword, which Faron had slung across her back in a brand new sheath that Fi had materialized, the trio made their way back to the more familiar parts of the forest. Along the way, a nearby bush began to rustle furiously and Fi appeared from the sword in a defensive stance.

"Mistress, I detect a 67% probablility that an enemy is nearby. Based on my analysis, you are 87% prepared for combat, I would advise caution as I have not identifi—"

"Fi, calm down," Faron had made her way over to the bush. "It's just a squirrel." Faron held up the unusually fat, fluffy creature. Fi's shoulders went slightly limp, but she continued on her ramble.

"Scans indicate this is an unfamiliar species. I propose that it is a close relative to the Kikwi, perhaps…." Midngiht and Faron exchanged shrugs as Fi continued to ramble about whatever the hell a Kikwi was.


For the rest of the walk back to Faron's camp, it seemed Fi had no need to stop for breath.

"Mistress, would you like me to analyse the chlorophyll levels of these leaves? I can determine how near the winter season is so that you may prepare…

"Mistress, I calculate a 94% chance that we are on course to the area you have designated as your camp…

"Mistress, my scans indicate you are weary, I believe you should use my dowsing ability to search for health-sustaining substances…

"Mistress, I calculate a 63% chance that you have not heard my last several adversaries, would like me to repeat them?

"Mistress,…

"Mistress,…

"Mistress!"

Back at the camp Faron placed a rucksack over her face and groaned, trying to drown out Fi's constantly rambling metallic voice, as she now began stating her observations about Epona, having apparently never seen a horse before either.

"Fi!" Faron finally set up and shouted, with an annoyed false smile.

"Do you think maybe you can just stop….analysing, and rest in the sword for a bit?"

"But Mistress, I wish to be of use. I do not require sleep; surely there is some analysis or calculation you would like me to perform…"

"I want you to sum up all the numbers from one to one million." Midnight grumbled.

"Yes, master Midnight. One plus one is two. Two plus two is four. Four plus three is…"

"You know what, get back to us when you're done." Fi nodded, continuing to add numbers, and disappeared into a blade. Faron immediately smothered the rucksack over it.

"Well, she's definitely proven she doesn't need to BREATHE." Faron collapsed on ground with a long huff, resting her head against the sack like a pillow. She looked up at the now fading orange sky, resting her own eyes as it became dark and Midnight started a campfire and settled down next to her.

"Faron, we HAVE to get rid of her." Midnight sighed.

"I know, but she came with the sword, it's sort of a package deal."

"Then we get rid of the sword!" Faron snapped up and looked at him in horror.

"No way!" "Faron—" "No! It' too cool, I've always wanted a sword like this, and you heard her, it chose me as its master!"

"Faron, which do you value more, that sword, or your sanity?"

"Is this one of those 'you can only have one or the other be honest' questions, cause my answer is the sword." He glared at her, clearly annoyed. "Well it's not like we can destroy it, that's too cruel."

He sighed and rolled over with his back to her. "I guess we'll just figure it out in the morning."

"Yeah, in the morning…" Suddenly a thought came back to Faron's mind, and she smiled with so much excitement for the rest of the night, that she barely slept a wink.


"Midnight, Midnight, Midnight!" Faron shouted, running around her sleeping brother packing up her belongings around the camp and stomping out the few remaining ashes in the fire. "Midniiiight! Wake up!" She knelt beside him and began shaking him furiously.

"What do you want?" He grumbled at her, refusing to open his eyes

"Aw, come one! Don't tell me you…" 'Forgot?' She frowned and felt a knot in her chest as the terrible thought crossed her mind. As if he could read her mind, Midnight grinned and sat up towards her, his red hair reaching around and presenting a small brown cake with a tiny burning candle in front of her beaming smile.

"Happy Birthday, Sis," She giggled and clapped her hands before wrapping her arms around him his neck, nearly knocking him over (her hugs had a tendency to be more forceful than necessary) and grabbed the little cake from him.

"Where did you get it?" "I asked one of the village women to make it, said it was for a special lady," he gave a wink and she gave him a light slap across the cheek. "Well, she wasn't around, so I figured I might as give it to you!" She slapped him again, and giggled, clenching her eyes shut before blowing out the candle. "What'd you wish for?"

"It wonf com twue 'f I ftell ya!" She attempted to shout with a mouthful of cake.

"Well isn't the birthday girl lady-like! So how does it feel, 18, finally a grown-up?" He said dramatically. Faron swallowed her cake and jumped up.

"Oi, I may be a mature human, and a responsible adult (which is to be debated), but the day I stop growing up is the day I stop livin'. Now come on!" She ushered him up with several handmotions and ran over to Epona, whose saddle now had their few belongings tied to it.

"And where are we going exactly?" "To the castle!" "The castle?!" Midnight's jaw dropped slightly. "Yeah, just liked you promised." "What do you mean, 'I promised'?!"

"Remember, I kept asking if we could go to the castle, and you said when I'm an adult, and I'm an adult now, so let's go!"

"Faron, we're not going to the castle!" "Why not?!" She now stared at him with heartbroken disbelief.

"Well, first of all, what am I gonna do, going through that market? Not exactly human, I'll start a riot!"

"Well you can just hide in my shadow. Or I'll just go without you!"

"To the castle? Good luck with that, as it is you can barely handle a run-in the villagers, go the castle, they'll toss you in the dungeon as a mad woman. Why kind of girl runs into the market dressed like that with all sorts of weapons?"

"Well, I dunno, I'm gonna find out aren't I?" She was angry with him now, defiantly climbing on to her horse. "And you know what, I don't care if they throw me in a dungeon, I'm gonna see the king!"

Midnighted scoffed. "Oh, that's rich, you'll be lucky if you make it past the gates, much less see the king!" Her face was red with fury now.

"Oh, and why not!?"

"You have to have a reason to see the king, you know, some sort of business? You can't just waltz in and ask for his autograph, he's busy running the kingdom."

"Business, huh?" She'd calmed down to a steady determination. "Like what?"

"I dunno, news, some sort of gift, I guess they take tributes around here…"

"Okay then!" "Okay what?" "I'll give him a gift, a tribute, just like you said."

"And what have you got that a king would want…?" His expression went through several motions, from annoyance to confusion to realization and then a threatening glare. Ignorant of his where his mind had wondered to, she had a devilish grin as she held out her brand new sword.

"This!" She waggled her eyebrows at him. He was about to protest and then he remembered their conversation from the night before. "This'll be good enough, don't think? Yeeah, you can't say no now!" She laughed as he rolled his eyes and disappeared for a moment, reappearing behind her in the saddle, sitting cross-legged with his back to hers.

"Fine, I guess just this one tiiiime!" Faron let out a cackle and Epona reared, nearly knocking Midnight to the ground, before taking off at a gallop towards the field and the castle looming in the distance.