A/N- Sorry for the delay, life has been crazy. But here it is, the almost last chapter.
So gather up your cinnamon-topped cocoa and a box of tissues. This one may hurt.
Chapter 11
Upon arriving, the sight they were met with was the last one they expected. Emma and Gold were hovering over a black shape on the ground, difficult to make out in the limited light. Emma was crying out, as if in pain. Snow tried to rush forward, before Charming pulled her back, cautiously trying to gauge the situation.
"Emma!" Snow called out, but got no response from her daughter at all. Was Emma still evil? What was she doing?
Then Henry ran up behind them, calling out for his mother, but she never turned around, apparently too focused on whatever was in front of her. Snow held onto his shoulder, keeping him at her side just in case.
There was a stillness in the air, but the foreboding heaviness that had been hovering over the town all day seemed completely gone. David and Regina both noticed that the storm that had been about ready to wipe the town off the map had vanished just as abruptly as it had begun. Suddenly, they allowed themselves to hope. Maybe Killian had found a way to break through to Emma after all.
And then, collectively, they all seemed to realize just who was missing from the room.
"Emma?" Regina asked quietly, knowing she was the first line of defense between everyone and Emma. Especially if she was still evil.
Suddenly, Gold looked up and caught Regina's eye, and she read all she needed to in that look. Emma's spell was broken, but it had come at a great price. One that was paid, not surprisingly, by Hook. She turned to the Charmings and her son, a look of pity on her face, and told them it was over.
It took them less than a second to run forward towards Emma and Gold. As they neared, it became clear the reason why Emma wasn't responding. Killian lay motionless on the floor, his hand clenched tightly in Emma's and struggling to breathe. The dagger sticking out of his chest flashed in the moonlight with each slow, shaky rise of his chest.
Beside her, Snow gasped at the sight, and pulled Henry into her side so that he might be spared the horror of what was happening. David wrapped his arms around his wife and grandson as his eyes welled up in grief. "No," he cried faintly.
Angrily, Henry pushed back against them, unpinning himself from their arms. He fell down next to Killian as he struggled with a sudden rush of emotions he couldn't quite explain. "Killian…" He asked, holding out a tentative hand to touch the pirate's knee. "But…" he looked up at Emma, who was unresponsive in her grief, and then to his other mother. "…He can't die. He's Captain Hook!"
Instantly, Regina was at his side, swallowing back the rise of emotion in order to be strong for the sake of her son. She clenched her jaw and glared up in absolute rage at the man who had caused this whole mess. "Gold, you caused this whole mess. I'm well aware of your feelings towards the pirate, but look at your grandson. He's devastated! Put aside your ego for two seconds and save the man!"
"It is not that simple," he stated, and oddly enough sounded like he was sorry for that. Regina didn't trust it.
"Why the hell not?" She demanded furiously.
Henry looked from Gold to Regina, his eyes red and watery, and at that moment, she realized that her son was far closer to the pirate than anyone had ever suspected. Maybe even him. After all, Henry had never had a father growing up, his real dad was dead, and now this man who had taken him sailing, who told him crazy pirate stories, who taught him to cheat at cards, and had always put his life first was dying right in front of him. Regina's heart broke at the thought that her son would lose yet another father figure. She glanced over to the man in question, wondering if her magic might be strong enough to hold back death, but when she saw Killian's face and saw the pain he was trying to hide, she knew it was a lost cause. His eyes and cheeks were already taking on a greyish hue, and each breath sounded as though it was coming from underwater, but his eyes tracked Henry's gesture and for a moment, a small grateful smile graced his lips.
"I'm so sorry," Regina whispered, to the pirate with whom she shared such a complicated past, but who had done more for her son than she had ever given him credit for. His eyes flashed to hers in silent acknowledgment before once more landing on the blonde haired savior still clinging to his side.
Emma didn't look away, but her whole body stilled at the words, as if suddenly realizing for the first time that she was no longer alone in all this. With one hand still on Killian's knee, Henry slipped his other around his mother's waist and she shivered violently at the touch before sagging into her son. Turning her head away from Killian for the first time, she looked only at Henry, but everyone gathered could all clearly see the anguish in her eyes and across her face.
She didn't seem to notice her parents joining her, sliding down on Killian's other side, also placing their hands on his arm and chest. David gave Killian a slight nod and Mary Margaret kept darting her eyes between him and her daughter, face compassionate and full of understanding. And sliding in behind them all, a silently weeping Belle and a stoic Will knelt near the pirate's feet.
And just like that, they had formed this tight little circle of love and friendship, all of them needing to demonstrate to the Killian just how much he had come to mean to them in his final moments. To show him that he was not alone and that if this was to be the end of Captain Hook, they would make sure he knew that he died a beloved hero.
Emma could feel the warmth from their presence beside her, and for that she was grateful. But it didn't stop the aching of her heart or the fear in her chest. But when she was able to tear herself away to look at her son, she was overcome with the shock of seeing everyone there just for Killian's sake. She wondered why she had never noticed how he had not only found a place in her heart, but in theirs as well. How exactly had that happened? Emma turned back to Killian, who was now struggling to keep his eyes on her, and her grief and guilt pressed down on her. She wasn't ready. It was too soon. Why was there so much about Killian that she had never noticed before?
Like how the way his eyes always followed her, no matter where she went.
Or how his smile changed depending on her moods.
And how his whole heart and soul just seemed to beat out her name.
She just had…never noticed.
She thought she understood what love and loss were before now. She thought she had felt all the pain she could bear with the death of Graham and Neal. But this…him…it was something horribly new. This was to be the loss that finally broke her. The one she would never recover from.
Maybe it was the remnants of the bond they shared, maybe it was something else, something more true, but it felt as if she was dying right along with him. After all, he had always held her heart in his hands.
And she fucking never noticed.
"Killian," she whispered, as if the word was a knife in her own heart. "Just please hold on."
He blinked, trying hard to find the strength to do as she requested. Still fighting for her sake. Always for her. She could see the fire trying to kindle itself in his eyes. But there was just nothing left for it to burn. He fixed his too blue gaze upon her and drew what was sure to be his last breaths as she clutched his hand even tighter, trying to will her own life force into him.
"Please," she begged softly, not even caring that others were witnessing this. "I need you." In her voice, she could hear the weight of all the agony of years of being left behind. And now she was being left all over again. She wanted to be angry at him for leaving. She wanted to throw all her walls back up and run and hide. "You told me you were a survivor. You promised me…" she demanded as her voice cracked and the tears fell. "Don't you dare…" But this was Killian. And he deserved so much more than that.
With deliberate effort, he lifted his good hand to cup her check, his thumb stroking over the cleft in her chin in a familiar motion. Forcing her to look at him, really look deep into his blue eyes and see the truth in his words, he said, "Emma…my love….Never doubt that…I loved you…that I will be here…" he moved his hand down to rest upon her chest, directly above her heart, as she covered his hand with her own, "…with you…always."
Then, his eyes drifted shut, and the last remaining strength finally left him, as his hand fell slack to his side. "Killian?" She whispered, shaking his shoulder lightly, then harder and begging any god who would listen for him to just open his damn eyes. But he didn't. And with that, Emma finally fell apart. The well of tears she had tried so hard to contain simply couldn't hold any more grief. Her heart simply couldn't bear it any longer and she collapsed into him. I love you, she thought as she wailed softly into his neck, her head buried and covered in a veil of her now loose blonde waves.
And just when she thought she might never crawl her way back from the pain and the heartache, she felt it. Like warmth washing over her. Like sunlight in the springtime. Like the soft kisses from him when he was trying to make her smile. Like a hug from her son, or the embrace of her parents. And for a moment, the grief lifted inexplicably and something close to a sense of peace flooded over her.
"Emma?" She heard her mother say in a quiet gasp.
She forced herself up, not daring to look into his face because she knew that if she did, if she saw his eyes flat and unfocused and bereft of life, then she would totally lose whatever this feeling was that had come over her and the control she had would be shattered. Instead, she turned to look towards her mother.
Only, there was a bright, hazy glow where her mother should be. Actually, there was a bright glow around everyone gathered. Enveloping and surrounding them in wash of magic. Of what kind, though, she had no idea. It didn't feel dark at all, but it did feel strange. A light magic of a most powerful kind, its source unknown.
Stealing herself away and gathering her courage, she took a breath and looked down at him. More specifically, at the place where she had accidently driven the dagger through his chest. And there, she noticed, was where the source of the magical glow seemed to stem from. The cavity and the dagger were both illuminated by a soft, white light, and from it some strange tendrils of magic were pouring out. It wasn't quite the smoky or vaporous manifestation she had seen before. This was different, more like the consistency of water. Or blood. As she watched, it pooled out from his wound, glided across the floor, and began to wrap around everyone gathered there, like glowing silver ribbons tied around their arms and limbs, then moving onto to their waists and chests.
"Well now, dearie, I never expected this," she heard Gold comment and whipped her head in his direction. Until just now, she had completely forgotten about his presence. But a fierce, raw anger flared deep in her chest. How dare he still be here! How dare he act like he gave a damn about Killian's life! This was all his fault!
"You need to leave," she growled dangerously, her teeth clenched so tightly that her jaw ached.
The imp's face fell into an oddly repentant expression, as he rocked back on his heels. "I don't think that's a good idea, dearie."
She drew herself up, reluctant to actually stop clinging to Killian's leather coat, and hating that Gold of all people had been witness to her weakness. "You know what's a good idea? Me punching you in the face. Repeatedly. With my gun. Why the hell are you even here? Shouldn't you be off rejoicing in your victory? You've won. He's…dead. Can't you just be a little bit less of an asshole and leave us to mourn in peace?"
He rolled his eyes indignantly, like his actions should be obvious. "I have no intention of gloating over this particular turn of events. I am merely watching. And helping."
Giving Gold the glare of death, she scoffed at him. "How the hell are you helping? It was thanks to your 'help' that this whole mess happened. So I'll say it one last time. Leave. Or so help me, I will tear you apart with my bare hands."
With a great sigh, his mask dropped away briefly and she saw the flash of pain in his eyes, as he looked at the dagger in Killian's chest. And then it was gone, his face once again unreadable. "I'm sure it hasn't escaped your notice, Emma, that there is magic surrounding the pirate. What do you think caused that?"
"Definitely not you. This is…light magic," she scoffed.
Gold nodded, unfazed by the dig. "Yes it is, dearie. Quite powerful light magic. Actually, the most powerful I've ever seen. And this magic needs an anchor."
"Your dagger," Emma supplied, finally understanding why he thought he was 'helping'.
Gold nodded, but his eyes flitted over the group, taking in the way the magic was encompassing them all, and Emma tried to figure out what exactly he was playing at. She was loathe to take her eyes off him in case he tried something, but she was curious as to what the magic was doing. And he seemed to have some idea of what was happening.
The ribbon-like liquid had further wrapped itself around each of the people present. Connecting and tethering them to the dagger and the pirate. Their faces were all strangely calm. No one seemed interested in her conversation with the Dark One, either. Gently, she nudged Henry with her elbow, but he only slowly lifted his eyes to her, gave her a gentle smile, and then returned his focus back to the source of the light. Like all of them were. Her inner alarms should have been blaring at the zoned-out way they were acting, but there was no hint of unpleasantness on their faces. In fact, they all seemed to be in a peaceful state of wistfulness, even with a dead body right in front of them. And honestly, Emma could feel the warm bliss the light was giving off despite her own current state of despair, and it made her feel unafraid. It made her feel safe. Just like he did. Or rather, like he used to. So whatever was happening, she was grateful for it, even if it was only postponing the inevitable.
"What's happening?" She asked, her curiosity momentarily overriding her anger, as she tilted her head up towards Gold.
His brow furrowed and it took him a moment to answer. "It's quite difficult to explain."
She glared at him and growled, "Try me."
He sighed and leaned forward a bit, his face illuminated by the light in a way that made his eyes almost seem human. "At its core, this magic is simple, really. It's love. Manifested physically. Binding and tying you all together in this shared moment. But as to what caused it, well now, dearie, that is quite the mystery."
Love? This was the physical manifestation of love? It made sense, she supposed. No one loved as hard and fervently as Killian did. In fact, she didn't think she had ever met anyone with a heart as big and as true as his.
And now that heart was still. It would beat no longer. That great love was lost forever. Her soul ached as the reality of his death hit her all over again. She could feel a moan of despair struggling to tear loose from her chest and she fought to contain it, but it wouldn't be contained. With all of her body trembling, she dropped her head next to his and let it come out all over again.
"Emma, shh…" And suddenly, her mother was there, despite everything that had happened between them earlier that day, despite the fact that Emma had wanted to take her heart. Her mother was there, a caring hand laid upon her shoulder, a look of concern in her eyes.
Emma sucked in air, trying to quell the onslaught of sobbing, to once more put on her brave face and pretend everything was fine. But then she saw his face, his beautiful, still face (all dark hair and marble skin and it was just so wrong…) and she knew she wasn't strong enough. "Mom…" Emma called as her voice broke, "he's gone. He's gone and I never told him."
Snow leaned over her daughter, gathering her into her arms. "Told him what?"
"After all that he's done for me, I was still too scared to say it. Because somehow I had convinced myself that saying it would make it all too real. And now he's gone and I'll never be able to know, to have that opportunity to take the next step. And he…He never knew…because I never told him…that I love him." And her mother held her while she collapsed into an awkward sobbing heap in her arms.
"Shh…Emma…honey, he knew… he knew…." Snow cooed softly, stroking her hand along her head. It was such a tender, soothing gesture-a motherly touch-that it caught her off guard. Emma wiped her eyes and found herself feeling a bit stronger. For a moment, she watched the way her mother's brow creased in concern for her, but then suddenly, the light grew so bright that her mother's face was lost in a flood of white. When it died back down, the pain and loss Emma had been experiencing felt dim and manageable, and once more she felt as if she were wrapped in a pair of strong, warm, leather-covered arms.
"It seems, Emma, that you have done the impossible." Gold said suddenly, startling her from her moment of revelry.
Still huddled up with her mother, Emma turned her head to Gold. Snow had gone back to her previous state of enthrallment. "How's that?"
"You've created the perfect storm, as it were, of light magic. Well, you, your captain, and everyone else here," Gold finished with a flourish of his hand.
She tightened her jaw, while her fingers wound their way tightly into Killian's leather coat. "What are you talking about now? Stop playing your stupid games, Gold, I am really not in the mood."
To her complete and utter surprise, Gold looked at her like he was genuinely sorry. He circled around the group, coming up next to Belle and kneeling down just behind her. He looked at Belle sadly as a strangely penitent look crossed his face. "You see, Emma, much to my amazement, everybody here is pouring out love. To him, to you, and to each other. You are all bound together in that love."
Emma stilled at his words, blinking as she looked around the gathered group. Everyone here loved Killian? But why did that surprise her? He had worked so hard in recent months, on building relationships with all of these people, mending any hurt he had caused, and trying so hard to prove that he was a man of honor. And he had always had that natural charisma and charm, making it impossible not to like him on some level. It shouldn't surprise her, and yet it did. Probably in the same way the extreme depth of her own love for him had taken her completely by surprise.
"I know, but that doesn't explain this," she waved a hand, indicating the tendrils of magic in the air. "I mean, surely beloved people have died before and none of them ever had this kind of light show."
Gold shook his head, motioning to the dagger. "You are correct. Normally, no matter how loved someone might be, it wouldn't be enough on its own to cause this sort of magical response. But the pirate's death was no ordinary one. It was committed by a powerful magical object and involved a great sacrifice on his part. Add that to the completely unbelievable fact that everyone here genuinely must care for that love-sick puppy and, well, you get this…"
"Magical light ribbons?" Emma snapped. "So what?"
"No, Ms. Swan," Gold replied, looking over the group, still oddly fixated on his dagger, like he wanted to look away from it and couldn't. For the first time, Emma wandered what it must be like for him to be tied to an inanimate object like that. To know something so easily captured could literally control you, to alter your free will. It was almost enough to make her feel sorry for him. Almost. But not today. Not when Killian lie dead by the consequence of his actions. No, today she felt more like pulling that dagger out and driving it through his skull.
Gold continued on, unaware of her inner conflict. "You get love in its purest, truest form. Powerful enough to break even the curse of death."
"Wait…what exactly are you saying?" She stuttered to halt, her mind not catching up to the conclusion her body had already drawn. Maybe it was because his words contained a hope that she wasn't ready to herself to feel. Because with that hope came all of her fears tumbling back one after the other. Her fingers anchored themselves into the soft leather of his coat as she tried to keep herself grounded in reality.
Gold leaned down, his face eerily illuminated in a wash of white which turned his skin to the color of his namesake. "I suppose what I am trying to say, dearie, is that the combined love of everyone here might just be enough to bring your Captain back from the dead."
No! No, it wasn't possible. Nothing can bring the dead back, not without a terrible price. No. Killian was gone. He was gone and not coming back. Her mind raced with the rush of anger and pain. Gold is lying, he has to be. Because when they leave, no one ever comes back. No one….
Except him. Killian always came back.
Emma studied his face carefully, feeling her anger swell up. If this was a lie, some sort of sick, twisted game, she would flat out murder him, because right now, the possibility that what he was saying was the truth was the worst kind of torture. "Are you… are you serious? I didn't think any magic could bring the dead back to life."
"Like I said, even with everything I have seen, dearie, I have never seen this before. But despite my own issues with the pirate, for this kind of magic to take place, he must have made quite the impression on the people here. However, I suspect, it is mostly due to his unwavering love of you, Emma. Not to mention how much everyone here cares for you as well. And all that love is powerful stuff. Very powerful stuff indeed."
Gold looked almost giddy now as the glow around Killian's chest grew brighter by the second. The dagger itself was shining with its own inner glow, as if it were residing is a forge, not a chest. Emma frowned at the sight, confused by what it all could mean. But the hope was still there. And this time, she didn't try to tamp it out. Without her knowledge, her fingers unclenched and found their way up towards his face, coming to rest nestled among the soft strands of his hair. She watched as her thumb traced their familiar path—over the stubble, following the scar, then back until he was cupped between her hands.
Her heart swelled with a burst of anticipation, as if any second now, those dark lashes would flutter and he would open his eyes and she would once again see his soul pouring out of their blue depths.
Come on, Killian!
Her stomach fluttered with nervous energy as the magic crescendo-ed around her.
Soon…
The light grew brighter, the air felt warmer than a summer day.
Any second…
There was a flash as the light grew to its zenith, a rush of warm wind, and then, it was over. Around her, the group was stirring, coming back from whatever mental state they had been in. After the brightness from the magic, her eyes were taking a while to adjust to the bare hint of moonlight, but she still stared hard at Killian, waiting for any sign of life, his face clasped between her palms. Silently, she continued to will him to open his eyes.
But they remained stubbornly shut.
No! No, I had faith, I believed. There was light and everything! It should have worked!
"No," she moaned softly. "It didn't work. It didn't work!" She cried, turning to look at Gold in a rage.
Only Gold was gone, the dagger was missing, and everyone else looked as though they were waking up from a dream.
Just not him.
"Killian, please wake up. I need you to wake up," she begged one final time, the last bit of hope stubbornly refusing to be snuffed out. "I…I…" she stuttered, the words she needed to say just not wanting to get out. Her heart was breaking, but at last, she knew she had accepted the truth. All of it.
He was gone. It was time to let him go. And it was time to tell him everything. She sighed deeply, her fingers running through his cold, sweat-damped locks, and cradling his stubble-rough cheek. "I've loved you for so long, Killian, even when I didn't want to, I loved you. I tried so hard not to, but I couldn't help it. You showed me what true love could be like, and I know now, that no matter how much it might hurt, I don't want to run from it anymore."
Emma took one last look at his face, his beautiful face, trying to etch it deeply into her memories, before leaning down and placing her lips on top of his. Then, she pressed them together and whispered, "I will always love you."
And beneath her, Killian stirred.
...
Next: The conclusion
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